Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
11-04-2019, 15:00   #166
Deebles McBeebles
Registered User
 
Deebles McBeebles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 4,782
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyFlash View Post
Why would you do that????

Jesus Christ.
Well, if my boss had called me up over dropping the kids off at the pool in the next cubicle, it might be something I'd consider.
Deebles McBeebles is offline  
Thanks from:
Advertisement
11-04-2019, 15:01   #167
Deebles McBeebles
Registered User
 
Deebles McBeebles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 4,782
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmetSpiceland View Post
At a urinal, a nod is all the conversation you need.
Maybe a quick "nice cock, mate" but that's as far as it should go.
Deebles McBeebles is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:04   #168
Knex.
Registered User
 
Knex.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 21,869
I think the most galling part about Johnny's story is the fact there's just two of them working side by side. One gets up for a shit, the other need not follow. This is not a synchronised sport. Etiquette demands a sequential process.

Personally, I can feel his horror, and I'm ashamed that the good people of boards have been found lacking in empathy.
Knex. is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:07   #169
Ush1
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deebles McBeebles View Post
What's the etiquette on unravelling the bog roll a bit, wiping your arse with it and then rolling it back up?
Ah here, have a word with yourself mate...
Ush1 is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:09   #170
JohnnyFlash
Registered User
 
JohnnyFlash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 5,155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hector Savage View Post
I think JohnnyFlash is spoofing about talking to the lad...
This wasn't a formal meeting with HR or anything - don't run that sort of business. I just called him aside as he was finishing loading one of the vans. I asked him about his weekend and all that, before asking him did he remember what happened on Saturday morning. He didn't, but had noticed that I was acting a bit funny.

I just told him straight out that it's considered manners to wait in that scenario, just as its considered manners to leave a cubicle between each shítter if at all possible, don't wait outside the door for someone else to finish taking a shít; don't make small talk with someone in the next cubicle, don't roar out 'be gone with you oh Shít Demon of Dinners Past!" as you open the bomb doors, or don't top deck just because you are unhappy with the service in a pub or restaurant.

Basic stuff really.
JohnnyFlash is offline  
Advertisement
11-04-2019, 15:11   #171
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hal3000 View Post
I had a quite word with the cleaners in here yesterday. Basically I asked if they could flush the jax after they lace it with toilet duck. I was caught cold on a decent one last week and got the rivet burned off me from splash back.
My missus has a habit of putting bleach on the seat of the throne. I'd a rash on the back of my legs and arse cheeks after unsuspectingly sitting down to 'deposit the goods' one evening.
Ray Bloody Purchase is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:13   #172
EmmetSpiceland
Registered User
 
EmmetSpiceland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 3,599
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deebles McBeebles View Post
Maybe a quick "nice cock, mate" but that's as far as it should go.
Only if it is, in fact, nice. I’m not throwing out laudations willy-nilly.
EmmetSpiceland is offline  
Thanks from:
11-04-2019, 15:16   #173
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 686
If it came down to it, i'd rather take a dump with a complete stranger than a work colleague. In the first instance i'd be less self conscious and secondly i'd rather not be the talk of the company if a colleague walked in whilst i'm white knuckle riding a massive Guinness sh1t out of me post weekend celebrations.
Ray Bloody Purchase is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:16   #174
Deebles McBeebles
Registered User
 
Deebles McBeebles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 4,782
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ush1 View Post
Ah here, have a word with yourself mate...
I'm not getting positive responses here so I guess its....browned upon?
Deebles McBeebles is offline  
Thanks from:
Advertisement
11-04-2019, 15:26   #175
JohnnyFlash
Registered User
 
JohnnyFlash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 5,155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray Bloody Purchase View Post
If it came down to it, i'd rather take a dump with a complete stranger than a work colleague. In the first instance i'd be less self conscious and secondly i'd rather not be the talk of the company if a colleague walked in whilst i'm white knuckle riding a massive Guinness sh1t out of me post weekend celebrations.
That’s the point I’m trying to make. I don’t really care if it’s a row of 8 cubicles in an airport - go in there and blow the guts out with gusto no problem. It’s when you know who the person is sitting 3 feet away from you - the silence, the grunts, the sound of the stool losing its fight against gravity and plopping into the water, the sigh, the sound of 4 foot of toilet roll being wrapped around a hand for a first pass movement.
JohnnyFlash is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:31   #176
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 686
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyFlash View Post
That’s the point I’m trying to make. I don’t really care if it’s a row of 8 cubicles in an airport - go in there and blow the guts out with gusto no problem. It’s when you know who the person is sitting 3 feet away from you - the silence, the grunts, the sound of the stool losing its fight against gravity and plopping into the water, the sigh, the sound of 4 foot of toilet roll being wrapped around a hand for a first pass movement.
Absolutely. In todays hectic world, it's nice to take a timeout on the bog, unload a sleeve of sh1te and pause to reflect or meditate and check the betting on the golf.

Is it too much to ask for your personal space not to be invaded during these precious, fleeting moments???
Ray Bloody Purchase is offline  
(2) thanks from:
11-04-2019, 15:35   #177
partyguinness
Registered User
 
partyguinness's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 5,962
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyFlash View Post
This wasn't a formal meeting with HR or anything - don't run that sort of business. I just called him aside as he was finishing loading one of the vans. I asked him about his weekend and all that, before asking him did he remember what happened on Saturday morning. He didn't, but had noticed that I was acting a bit funny.

I just told him straight out that it's considered manners to wait in that scenario, just as its considered manners to leave a cubicle between each shítter if at all possible, don't wait outside the door for someone else to finish taking a shít; don't make small talk with someone in the next cubicle, don't roar out 'be gone with you oh Shít Demon of Dinners Past!" as you open the bomb doors, or don't top deck just because you are unhappy with the service in a pub or restaurant.

Basic stuff really.



Here, he is telling all his Lithuanian buddies what a complete weirdo his boss is. You will be the butt of their jokes for years to come.
partyguinness is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:42   #178
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 686
Quote:
Originally Posted by partyguinness View Post
Here, he is telling all his Lithuanian buddies what a complete weirdo his boss is. You will be the butt of their jokes for years to come.
They'll think he's locking himself in there and fleecing the bollocks off himself.

And they'll probably be right.
Ray Bloody Purchase is offline  
Thanks from:
11-04-2019, 15:44   #179
TomasMacR
Banned
 
TomasMacR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knex. View Post
It's a beautiful thing to cocoon a **** out in 1 go, and hear the solitary splash like an Olympic Diver with a perfect score. At what age does the 6 get removed from your dice and this is no longer a possibility? Knowing you once had perfection, but here, yet again, age shall cripple your abilities.
You’re talking about a ‘ghostie’ there. Rare enough, have only experienced it 2 or 3 times max when I was eating healthily and off the sauce. Slips out of your hole with zero effort, disappears up the jacks pipe like a torpedo so you’ll never even see it and then jacks roll hasn’t a trace of shįte on it after the wipe. The ghostie is as rare as a set of hens teeth in my experience.
TomasMacR is offline  
11-04-2019, 15:46   #180
JohnnyFlash
Registered User
 
JohnnyFlash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 5,155
Quote:
Originally Posted by partyguinness View Post
Here, he is telling all his Lithuanian buddies what a complete weirdo his boss is. You will be the butt of their jokes for years to come.
Don’t give a shîte, pal. I’m well on course to have my most profitable year ever, and they do all the manual work. They can say what they want.
JohnnyFlash is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet