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14-03-2020, 19:15   #3526
Ted_YNWA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt'n Midnight View Post
This is your Ryanair pilot speaking. I'm working from home today...
Just because you are working from home, doesn't mean you can submit others work as your own.

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/show...postcount=6571

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14-03-2020, 23:01   #3527
Pappa Dolla
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What’s the difference between Covid 19 and Romeo & Juliet?

One’s a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis.
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15-03-2020, 01:42   #3528
dolanbaker
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Since everyone has started washing their hands, the peanuts in the pubs have lost their taste.
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16-03-2020, 08:28   #3529
GBX
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Last week, my next door neighbour asked me:

“Seen as our houses are the same design... Can I ask how many rolls of wallpaper you bought to decorate the living room?”

“Thirteen” I said.

Today, he came round looking angry: “I’ve got three rolls left over!!!”

“So did I!” I said
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16-03-2020, 08:30   #3530
GBX
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When a recipe ask you to separate eggs, how far is acceptable?
I've just put one on a train to Galway..
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16-03-2020, 09:40   #3531
patmac
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Looking to take a break from reading and watching television about the Corona virus, going to watch a movie instead. ‘Outbreak’ looks interesting anyone know what it’s about?
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16-03-2020, 10:14   #3532
dolanbaker
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Originally Posted by GBX View Post
When a recipe ask you to separate eggs, how far is acceptable?
I've just put one on a train to Galway..
Not far enough...




Send it to Cork!
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16-03-2020, 14:14   #3533
dolanbaker
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Without offence to anyone i think the corona viris was released by a woman my reasons being:-
football stopped
F1 stopped
Bars and terraces stopped
Moto GP stopped ,
Men have to remain at home,
but the hairdressers are still open!
Explain to me please
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16-03-2020, 18:36   #3534
jimgoose
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And lo, I am learned that "Social Distancing" <> "Doggie Style".
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17-03-2020, 23:37   #3535
The Princess Bride
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My German friend has told me that over there, everyone is panic buying sausage and cheese, rather than toilet roll.
It's the wurst käse scenario.
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18-03-2020, 21:57   #3536
patmac
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Just heard a man collapsed on the London Eye.

Paramedics on site say he is slowly coming round.
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19-03-2020, 14:00   #3537
chips1234
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valoren View Post
Now that toilet roll and tissues are the new currency what do you call a tosser who runs out of both?

Wankrupt.
and between a sock and a hard place
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19-03-2020, 14:19   #3538
byrner88
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My best mate, Dave passed away yesterday so I went to see his wife today.

I said, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore."

She said, "He wasn't ill, he died all of a sudden."

I said, "I know, I meant being married to you."
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19-03-2020, 14:41   #3539
iamstop
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Did you see the Covid-19 meme?

It's gone viral.




Sorry.
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19-03-2020, 16:15   #3540
dolanbaker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iamstop View Post
Did you see the Covid-19 meme?

It's gone viral.




Sorry.
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