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what would a reasonable contribution be?

2

Comments

  • #32
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

    The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

    The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

    What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

    think sister earns 28000 PA brother, I'm not sure. But her rent is even a smaller percentage than what I'd pay


  • #33
    Tiddlypeeps
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,103 ✭✭✭Tiddlypeeps


    afterglow wrote: »
    Hi
    Comfortable is not a word I would use to describe her no.


    Percentages and all that are only relevant if the parent is asking for a contribution out of principal. Since your mother is not flush with cash and she is asking for so little it doesn't sound like that is what she is doing. She is likely asking for just enough to cover the extra costs of having you and your siblings in the house.


  • #34
    claregal1
    Registered Users Posts: 547 ✭✭✭claregal1


    My 19 year old son lives at home with me , he works full time and he contributes 50 a week to the household ..
    I have younger brothers and sisters living at home with my parents and they also contribute 50 a week each.


  • #35
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    50 euro a week is a ridiculously low amount of money to give a week to cover food, utilities and the accommodation.


  • #36
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

    The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

    The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

    What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

    €70 isn’t even 1/4 of his income. Very few adults get to keep 3/4 of their income to spend as they want.
    I think €70 is the minimum he can expect to contribute. What has compassion got to do with it? The house has to be maintained, heated, electrified, the bins emptied, tv, telephone broadband, groceries have to be bought, clothes need to be washed, dried ...all these things have to be paid for and everyone living in the house should have to contribute.


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  • #37
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    OP, if you get €263/wk, and give your mother €50 for bills and food, you’ll have €213 a week to spend on whatever you like. €193 of you give her €70. It’s an awful lot of disposable income. I work full time on a good wage, and I wouldn’t have it.


  • #38
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,769 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    splinter65 wrote: »
    €70 isn’t even 1/4 of his income. Very few adults get to keep 3/4 of their income to spend as they want.
    I think €70 is the minimum he can expect to contribute. What has compassion got to do with it? The house has to be maintained, heated, electrified, the bins emptied, tv, telephone broadband, groceries have to be bought, clothes need to be washed, dried ...all these things have to be paid for and everyone living in the house should have to contribute.

    No I get what you are saying. I never actually gave a figure. Personally I think 70 euro on face value is fine.

    However I think taking the full picture into consideration including the fact that their siblings pay the same, have their own rooms and presumably a proper bed in said rooms while the OP gets a cotbed in a room that's not a bedroom. Then add on to the fact that the sister is pregnant and bringing another person into the house and still only paying 70 euro.

    The compassion part for me is if one of my children were disabled I would be doing my best to make their lives a little easier.

    Now I appreciate financially they may need every cent which if that's the case once the baby arrives the sister should be contributing more.


  • #39
    AulWan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭AulWan


    The pregnant sister's income while on maternity benefit will be lower then the OP's, unless she is topped up by her employer (thats if she has enough contributions to qualify for maternity benefit). Plus she will have a dependant going forward. I would not expect her to pay less with a newborn, but I would not expect her to pay more then her sibling. Once she goes back to work, she will have childcare costs on top.

    This is a minefield for parents of adult children living at home, the easiest way to navigate it without creating resentment between the siblings is for everyone to pay the same rate.


  • #40
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,769 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    AulWan wrote: »
    The pregnant sister's income while on maternity benefit will be lower then the OP's, unless she is topped up by her employer (thats if she has enough contributions to qualify for maternity benefit). Plus she will have a dependant going forward. I would not expect her to pay less with a newborn, but I would not expect her to pay more then her sibling. Once she goes back to work, she will have childcare costs on top.

    This is a minefield for parents of adult children living at home, the easiest way to navigate it without creating resentment between the siblings is for everyone to pay the same rate.

    As far as I can remember the sister is in her 30s so I'd assume she has paid enough contributions for full maternity benefit.


  • #41
    AulWan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭AulWan


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    As far as I can remember the sister is in her 30s so I'd assume she has paid enough contributions for full maternity benefit.

    Which at max is €245 per week, unless topped up.

    The OP is also in her thirties.


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  • #42
    amadangomor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,148 ✭✭✭amadangomor


    Why not sit down with your family and calculate how much it costs to run the household - mortgage payment, utility bills, tv, internet, local propety tax, Tv licence etc and food that everyone avails of and divide it equally?

    If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.


  • #43
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    amadangomor wrote: »
    Why not sit down with your family and calculate how much it costs to run the household - mortgage payment, utility bills, tv, internet, local propety tax, Tv licence etc and food that everyone avails of and divide it equally?

    If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.

    I'm sure they are, I know that's what they pay, as I asked
    maybe I could give my mum a little more, or put a little extra in an empty account, which I have, then give it to her at the end of the year or something, then she can do something nice for herself. She wouldn't be expecting it at all either


  • #44
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,769 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    "amadangomor wrote: »

    If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.

    That was a point I was trying to make, rather badly I admit.


  • #45
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,769 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    afterglow wrote: »
    I'm sure they are, I know that's what they pay, as I asked
    maybe I could give my mum a little more, or put a little extra in an empty account, which I have, then give it to her at the end of the year or something, then she can do something nice for herself. She wouldn't be expecting it at all either

    I'm confused now, I thought 70 was too much, now you're talking about throwing her extra??


  • #46
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    I'm confused now, I thought 70 was too much, now you're talking about throwing her extra??

    Genuine question but do you think, 70 euro is enough for food plus all utilities and accommodation for a week?.

    If I thought I could get a sweet deal like that I would happily move back with my folks.


  • #47
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,769 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    Plumbthedepths wrote: »
    Genuine question but do you think, 70 euro is enough for food plus all utilities and accommodation for a week?.

    If I thought I could get a sweet deal like that I would happily move back with my folks.

    Personally no I don't. I think it's a very sweet deal. Which is why I'd imagine her sister is still living there and bringing another generation into the house.

    That said the OP is on disability allowance and doesn't have a bedroom just a makeshift area with a cotbed. I'd be abit peeved if I was paying the same as my siblings when they had privacy of their own bedroom and a proper bed. Even in house share scenarios rent is usually dependent on if room is double /single / twin etc.

    Also if it were me living at home and I got pregnant I'd be saving like mad and throwing my mam extra when the baby arrived.

    When I said I was confused, it was because the OP thought 50 euro was enough now she's talking about more than 70??


  • #48
    Don Joe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Don Joe


    OP, if you're interested in being any way fair to your mother, minimum 100 a week. Still leaves you with 145 a week pocket money whatever.

    As others have said, majority of working people dont have that much free per week to spend on themselves.

    Minimum, 100eur. Be fair.


  • #49
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    Personally no I don't. I think it's a very sweet deal. Which is why I'd imagine her sister is still living there and bringing another generation into the house.

    That said the OP is on disability allowance and doesn't have a bedroom just a makeshift area with a cotbed. I'd be abit peeved if I was paying the same as my siblings when they had privacy of their own bedroom and a proper bed. Even in house share scenarios rent is usually dependent on if room is double /single / twin etc.

    Also if it were me living at home and I got pregnant I'd be saving like mad and throwing my mam extra when the baby arrived.

    When I said I was confused, it was because the OP thought 50 euro was enough now she's talking about more than 70??

    i do think its unfair, just because I'm on benefits, and like you say, I don't have the privacy of my own room. The door, is glass for crying out loud! In the room where I'll be sleeping. People have made me feel mean though. If I had my own proper room, I'd have no problem paying €70 or even a little more, but its because the others are working, and have their own rooms, I don't feel €70 is fair. if my sister moved out, and I had her room, then I'd have no issue paying more rent every week. Its a nice space with a proper door, not a glass one that people can see through. Not that there's anything I wouldn't want people to see, its just principal, if that makes sense


  • #50
    Don Joe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Don Joe


    afterglow wrote: »
    i do think its unfair, just because I'm on benefits, and like you say, I don't have the privacy of my own room. The door, is glass for crying out loud! In the room where I'll be sleeping. People have made me feel mean though. If I had my own proper room, I'd have no problem paying €70 or even a little more, but its because the others are working, and have their own rooms, I don't feel €70 is fair. if my sister moved out, and I had her room, then I'd have no issue paying more rent every week. Its a nice space with a proper door, not a glass one that people can see through. Not that there's anything I wouldn't want people to see, its just principal, if that makes sense

    Stop comparing.

    If you don't think a bed at night, a roof over your head, food, heat is worth 100eur a week, I suggest trying elsewhere and seeing how "unfair" the world is then


  • #51
    AulWan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭AulWan


    I am almost sure the OP said on another thread that she would be sharing a bedroom with her sister, but I am open to correction on that.

    I'm sure the sister would prefer other living arrangements as well.


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  • #52
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    Don Joe wrote: »
    Stop comparing.

    If you don't think a bed at night, a roof over your head, food, heat is worth 100eur a week, I suggest trying elsewhere and seeing how "unfair" the world is then

    I have lived on my own for 4 years, ran a house, paid bills, etc. I am not suggesting €100 isn't reasonable, I am, however saying, that €100 is perhaps not very fair, given that the room I'll be sleeping in, isn't a bedroom, doesn't have a real bed, etc. No need to presume I think I'm entitled to live without paying anything, that's not what I said


  • #53
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    AulWan wrote: »
    I am almost sure the OP said on another thread that she would be sharing a bedroom with her sister, but I am open to correction on that.

    I'm sure the sister would prefer other living arrangements as well.

    won't be sharing with her no. They will have to turn the front room into a sort of makeshift room for me. Because my sister was there before me, she's having the room I shared with her when I lived at home


  • #54
    Don Joe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Don Joe


    afterglow wrote: »
    I have lived on my own for 4 years, ran a house, paid bills, etc. I am not suggesting €100 isn't reasonable, I am, however saying, that €100 is perhaps not very fair, given that the room I'll be sleeping in, isn't a bedroom, doesn't have a real bed, etc. No need to presume I think I'm entitled to live without paying anything, that's not what I said

    It's less than ideal I'll grant you that. But I'd wager its less than ideal for your mother that you're home as well, in the nicest possible way. Pay 100/wk.

    Yes, your sister and brother seem to be getting off lightly, but three wrongs don't make a right.


  • #55
    AulWan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭AulWan


    afterglow wrote: »
    i do think its unfair, just because I'm on benefits, and like you say, I don't have the privacy of my own room. The door, is glass for crying out loud! In the room where I'll be sleeping. People have made me feel mean though. If I had my own proper room, I'd have no problem paying €70 or even a little more, but its because the others are working, and have their own rooms, I don't feel €70 is fair. if my sister moved out, and I had her room, then I'd have no issue paying more rent every week. Its a nice space with a proper door, not a glass one that people can see through. Not that there's anything I wouldn't want people to see, its just principal, if that makes sense

    You are being mean. There is no other way to say it. You know you can afford it but don't want to give it. You're on another thread talking about taking up piano lessons! These are not cheap!

    I can already tell this is not going to work out. OP, do your family a favour and look for a house share instead. But good luck finding one that will only cost you 70 euro a week, including food and utilities.

    If I was your parent and that was your attitude to my opening my home to you, you would not be welcome.


  • #56
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    AulWan wrote: »
    You are being mean. There is no other way to say it. You know you can afford it but don't want to give it. You're on another thread talking about taking up piano lessons! These are not cheap!

    I can already tell this is not going to work out. OP, do your family a favour and look for a house share instead. But good luck finding one that will only cost you 70 euro a week - not including food.

    If I was your parent and that was your attitude to my opening my home to you, you would not be welcome.
    why should i! my sister is pregnant and staying at home rather than looking for her own place! Which she could well afford to do! Because she has a job, and a decent income! Now that, is mean! I have come back from the uk because I was employed, and due to bullying at my workplace, and the negative effect it had on my mental health, it didn't work out! At least I tried to be independent and get out on my own, and its my goal, if possible for the future, while other people choose to stay at home and bring a baby into the situation, and no doubt pay the same amount they've always paid! I'm sorry but that is not fair.


  • #57
    Graham
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 17,642 Mod ✭✭✭✭Graham


    You asked what a reasonable contribution would be.

    €50 isn't it. Particularly in light of your income and regardless of the excuses.

    The "it's not fair" argument stops being valid just after you leave school.


  • #58
    AulWan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭AulWan


    Your sister is going to be a single parent earning 28K, and you think she can well afford to move out? How long have you been away from Ireland, exactly?

    I find your attitude incredibly selfish. My final word - find a house share or stay with your grandparents, for everyone's sake.

    You're a 30+ year old woman, your parents did not have to accept you back into their home or modify it in any way for you to move in but you're online complaining about how unfair it is that you will be handing up what is probably less then the cost of you living there, to them.

    BTW, your new infant niece or nephew won't actually have an income. Maybe when they do, they should hand up something to the household.


  • #59
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    afterglow wrote: »
    why should i! my sister is pregnant and staying at home rather than looking for her own place! Which she could well afford to do! Because she has a job, and a decent income! Now that, is mean! I have come back from the uk because I was employed, and due to bullying at my workplace, and the negative effect it had on my mental health, it didn't work out! At least I tried to be independent and get out on my own, and its my goal, if possible for the future, while other people choose to stay at home and bring a baby into the situation, and no doubt pay the same amount they've always paid! I'm sorry but that is not fair.

    Afterglow I’m really sorry that you’ve got all these health problems and your having to move home when there really isn’t any room for you there.
    Don’t resent your sister it’s not her choice either I’m sure to be sharing one room with her baby in her mothers house.
    Look, make a simple plan. First of all apply to your local authority to be entered on the housing list. You’ll be put on it due to overcrowding and your blind pension.
    Then you can start looking for somewhere to live near to your family but just your own place where you can have privacy but still get support from them. You’ll get HAP and yes it’ll be a while before you get this set up but at least you have something to work toward.


  • #60
    afterglow
    Registered Users Posts: 461 ✭✭afterglow


    splinter65 wrote: »
    Afterglow I’m really sorry that you’ve got all these health problems and your having to move home when there really isn’t any room for you there.
    Don’t resent your sister it’s not her choice either I’m sure to be sharing one room with her baby in her mothers house.
    Look, make a simple plan. First of all apply to your local authority to be entered on the housing list. You’ll be put on it due to overcrowding and your blind pension.
    Then you can start looking for somewhere to live near to your family but just your own place where you can have privacy but still get support from them. You’ll get HAP and yes it’ll be a while before you get this set up but at least you have something to work toward.

    yes
    that must be the plan.
    I wouldn't choose to live at home if I could help it, and while I would still think it not very fair that my sister lives in my mum's house with a baby, I would not be as bothered by it if I had even my own tiny space. That said, as I've already said in other threads, I don't think its particularly fair on the family that this is the situation, whether I live there or not
    Thanks for posting


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  • #61
    Sheeps
    Registered Users Posts: 2,762 ✭✭✭Sheeps


    €100 - €200 a month to stay with family, whilst putting the rest away for a deposit.


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