Thank you and I know you're right. Logically it seems like a no brainer, on paper it's as clear as crystal that this is the right path. If this decision or dillema or whatever you want to call it was an illustration, one path would be paved with golddust and covered in rose petals with the sun beaming down upon it and the other would be dark and creepy with danger lurking behind every bend and storm clouds looming overhead. Only a moron would go down the dark path.
It really is one day at a time. This morning I was positive and energetic. Now I feel empty and fragile. Alcohol will not fill that void. That void is inside me when I drink too, in fact, I feel even more lonesome when I drink so it's widening the void. Jesus this is a right bitch.
It helps to write things down here cos I know nobody judges and everybody empathises and understands. You're a great bunch!
I was just thinking about it there too... the concept of rock bottom. I mean, I've been arrested, woken up in a park, lost jobs, lost relationships, lost friendships, missed holidays, broken bones, Christ!! If those aren't rock bottom what the hell is!
And.. the moment that made me stop recently wasn't even that bad. It was just a 3 day bender that made me feel so ridiculously ashamed that I thought to myself... who the **** have you become. STOP. I had wine in my hand, unopened and I just ****ed it away.
I can beat this. I'm a strong person and I know that I can but today is really tough.