I stopped drinking from when I found out I was pregnant (at around 4 weeks.) I did have one West Coast Cooler when out for dinner at maybe around 6-7 months pregnant, but I'd done plenty of research into it and was confident that it wouldn't do any harm. I remember there was a news story a few months back about a waiter refusing to serve a drink to a pregnant woman ... the irony is that by the time a woman is visibly pregnant (i.e. 2nd/3rd trimester) the real risk for Fetal Alcohol Synrome is passed - the most dangerous time to drink is in the first trimester (although my understanding is that no alcohol passes to the foetus until the placenta is formed, around the 5th/6th week.) I wouldn't judge any woman for having a couple of drinks a week in pregnancy, although I completely understand why most women don't take the risk. Obviously heavy drinking during pregnancy is another issue altogether.
As for the other things you're meant to avoid ... I don't drink tea or coffee, but would have drank lots of Diet Coke before pregnancy. I didn't purposely cut down, but I completely went off the taste of it so didn't drink as much of it. I'm not a smoker, but it often crossed my mind that working in Dublin city centre I might as well have been, constantly breathing in other peoples' smoke and traffic fumes! I regularly ate deli meats, and also occasionally other crappy foods (fast food, cinema hot dogs, etc.) I had the odd runny egg. I definitely didn't do everything by the book, but I read up plenty on what was recommended and the rationale behind it, and made educated choices based on that.
The one thing that did weigh on my mind a lot was that around maybe 28 weeks pregnant, I had a chest infection and was coughing up blood, and I was sent to A&E for an chest Xray and PET scan, as the GP suspected a blood clot on my lung. Not recommended in pregnancy, as it can potentially harm the unborn baby, however obviously both my life and the baby's may have been in danger if it had been a clot (it wasn't.) I worried a lot about it afterwards, however no harm done, my baby was fine, thankfully.