advice

Megamind23156 · 15-07-2019 2:12am #1

Hi folks, so today outta nowhere my neighbours start accusing my son of bullying there lad at school and other kids too and that their son has to be kept back because of my son and every one knows about it even the principal and teachers. Now the boys have been in school since the beginning and this is the first I've ever heard of it I meet the principal regularly in town even if I didn't surely I would of been called in. Every p/t meeting I'm told he's a lovely boy very caring and sensitive never ever has he been accused of this till now. He has friends goes for playdates and vice versa. This boy next door doesn't do any of that he was even here for my boys birthday party a few months ago and every year for christ sake.

This all kicked off I was out the front with my toddler he was pretending to mow the grass with his toy lawnmower when my eldest shouted out of his window to go around the back of house where my niece and 9year old son were playing that the two boys next door were chanting my son's name and calling him a f ...r. And throwing water balloons over the wall at them and the dad was standing there not a word said and had the hose in his hand aimed at my son soaking him ! I told him what they done was not on to f off and for his kids to have some manners, then he started shouting that I would want to put manners on my children and started shouting that boy has been bullying his and he's boy is being kept back because of it. I called him a liar and told him he' can't throw accusations like that around & that he'd want to start asking parents about his own son as he is forever starting on other kids and has done from what I've heard from other parents and that he never gets in trouble for it, & the teacher sometimes keeps him up at the top of the class beside her. While he pulls faces at the the other boys. What do I do has anyone ever been in similar situation?

Infernal Racket · 15-07-2019 2:17am

Megamind23156 wrote: »

Hi folks, so today outta nowhere my neighbours start accusing my son of bullying there lad at school and other kids too and that their son has to be kept back because of my son and every one knows about it even the principal and teachers. Now the boys have been in school since the beginning and this is the first I've ever heard of it I meet the principal regularly in town even if I didn't surely I would of been called in. Every p/t meeting I'm told he's a lovely boy very caring and sensitive never ever has he been accused of this till now. He has friends goes for playdates and vice versa. This boy next door doesn't do any of that he was even here for my boys birthday party a few months ago and every year for christ sake.

This all kicked off I was out the front with my toddler he was pretending to mow the grass with his toy lawnmower when my eldest shouted out of his window to go around the back of house where my niece and 9year old son were playing that the two boys next door were chanting my son's name and calling him a f ...r. And throwing water balloons over the wall at them and the dad was standing there not a word said and had the hose in his hand aimed at my son soaking him ! I told him what they done was not on to f off and for his kids to have some manners, then he started shouting that I would want to put manners on my children and started shouting that boy has been bullying his and he's boy is being kept back because of it. I called him a liar and told him he' can't throw accusations like that around & that he'd want to start asking parents about his own son as he is forever starting on other kids and has done from what I've heard from other parents and that he never gets in trouble for it, & the teacher sometimes keeps him up at the top of the class beside her. While he pulls faces at the the other boys. What do I do has anyone ever been in similar situation?

There is no happy ending to this scenario I'm afraid and things will only get worse. Make an appointment with the principal asap and see what they say about your son in light of the new situation

Car99 · 15-07-2019 2:50am

An adult was soaking your 9 year old with a hose in a show of hostility is offensive and totally unacceptable. I'd seriously consider reporting that to the Gardai

As for the allegations regarding school , arrange a meeting with the principal and get the facts and go from there. The principal must have told the parents why he/she would recommend repeating.

heldel00 · 15-07-2019 10:56am

Unless there is a very definite reason (usually medical and by this i mean a lot of absence due to medical reasons rather than a physical/ learning difficulty) it is extremely unusual for a child to repeat a class. Department and inspectorate frown heavily upon this and most schools avoid upsetting them at all costs.

Infernal Racket · 15-07-2019 1:35pm

heldel00 wrote: »

Unless there is a very definite reason (usually medical and by this i mean a lot of absence due to medical reasons rather than a physical/ learning difficulty) it is extremely unusual for a child to repeat a class. Department and inspectorate frown heavily upon this and most schools avoid upsetting them at all costs.

Well that's just rubbish. Loads of kids repeat, mostly because they started too young and havent developed quick enough to keep up with the others

BoardsMember · 15-07-2019 1:41pm

Sounds like a very unedifying shouting match across the back fence, shouting, cursing and throwing accusations back and forth. Parents probably need to take a lead on this to start with and behave like mature adults.

byhookorbycrook · 15-07-2019 5:26pm

Gerry G wrote: »

Well that's just rubbish. Loads of kids repeat, mostly because they started too young and havent developed quick enough to keep up with the others

Actually , that’s not true these days( primary teacher here ) The DES don’t allow a child to “ repeat “ because they are too young starting school. There’s a lot of paper work involved now and usually needs to be put past an inspector.

To the OP- if the bullying alleged was so severe that somehow it impacted on this other child so badly, it’s exceptionally unlikely that you would not have been informed.

heldel00 · 15-07-2019 5:34pm

Gerry G wrote: »

Well that's just rubbish. Loads of kids repeat, mostly because they started too young and havent developed quick enough to keep up with the others

I'm a teacher. I deal with this at least once a year. Children are not permitted to repeat without a very valid reason. OP's neighbour is the one talking rubbish.

Megamind23156 · 16-07-2019 9:31am

folks , Thank you for the replies, and opologies for late update I didnt sleep a wink the night of this happening as I was so upset and angry anyway I got our principal yesterday afternoon to arrange a meeting but all sorted as soon we spoke.

The neighbour made that whole scenario up for whatever reason is unknown , the principal could not believe the stuff that was said and done by him and his wife. That the children get on in school no problems at all !! And the child isn't been kept back a year. She said you know that if there was ever a problem or worry that his teacher Mrs... would have contacted you right away. We talked for 10mins then just trying to figure out why this happened.

She was asking was there any problems like this before with them (parents) and there hasn't been , they keep to themselves and so do we when they moved in I said myself and my husband tried to say hello a few times but they would'nt respond or aknowledge us so we did give up. I said my lad has tried to play with his kid but is turned away at the door ,they never let there kids out or the parents would be in the garden with them and when they get fed up he brings them in you wouldn't see them for the rest of the day. So I dont know where do you go from there.

Megamind23156 · 16-07-2019 9:39am

BoardsMember wrote: »

Sounds like a very unedifying shouting match across the back fence, shouting, cursing and throwing accusations back and forth. Parents probably need to take a lead on this to start with and behave like mature adults.

Yes it was disgusting, and frightening to say the least to have a man they dont know that well shouting at them and their mother and spraying a hose at my son for something that's going on in his imagination.

Megamind23156 · 16-07-2019 9:48am

Car99 wrote: »

An adult was soaking your 9 year old with a hose in a show of hostility is offensive and totally unacceptable. I'd seriously consider reporting that to the Gardai

As for the allegations regarding school , arrange a meeting with the principal and get the facts and go from there. The principal must have told the parents why he/she would recommend repeating.

I honestly don't know where to start with fixing this they were gone most of the day yesterday and when we did see each other he went back inside , to be honest I didn't feel like making friends very much. As the principal said we are owed an apology which I would accept and move on But I doubt we will ever get one.

heldel00 · 16-07-2019 9:51am

I sent you a PM megamind

[Deleted User] · 16-07-2019 10:29am

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Actually , that’s not true these days( primary teacher here ) The DES don’t allow a child to “ repeat “ because they are too young starting school. There’s a lot of paper work involved now and usually needs to be put past an inspector.

To the OP- if the bullying alleged was so severe that somehow it impacted on this other child so badly, it’s exceptionally unlikely that you would not have been informed.

Yes this is fully correct. I hate when people give uneducated advice on these forums.

Very glad to hear things were cleared up re your son OP.

sarahdylan · 17-07-2019 7:54am

What a strange family! If a woman or man practically unknown to my child turned a hose on them over false accusations I would definitely be ringing the guards. Every child should be able to play out their back without having to worry this will happen again

Megamind23156 · 18-07-2019 12:19pm

So we had a visit from the guards this morning he went in reporting us , and telling the guards that his son is being bullied by my son and said we were firing stuff over the wall and giving abuse to them. I told them my side of what happened and told them I rang the principal the following day and she confirmed that the bullying was all lies, Anyway we were told not to do anything and if they do anything else I'm to ring them right away, and they will be told same.

Now my next question is how do you get rid of a##h^^^e neighbours ðŸ˜‚

Car99 · 18-07-2019 6:17pm

I would discreetly put cctv on your property because this guy sounds like a loose cannon .

Megamind23156 · 18-07-2019 9:53pm

Car99 wrote: »

I would discreetly put cctv on your property because this guy sounds like a loose cannon .

The guards said similar and suggesting some wood fencing against the stone wall to block view into garden. As for the bullying accusations she said the school will have to sort that situation so I will discuss that with the principal hopefully she can meet with them and sort it out for us.

heldel00 · 18-07-2019 10:06pm

Jesus megamind this is crazy stuff. Feel very sorry for ya. You can't compete with crazy. I have seen this in the past and some parents just lose all sense of reason when it comes to their children.
Only advice i can give is to keep the head, stay cool and bite your tongue.

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