Anyone else enjoy being single?

ancapailldorcha · 02-04-2019 9:29pm #1

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

voldejoie · 02-04-2019 9:43pm

I love being single.

Like you said OP, I'm open to meeting someone and settling down, and I know there are upsides to having someone to share certain parts of life with, but I also wouldn't mind being single forever. There's a certain freedom to it I love, even just the fact that I don't have to consider someone else when making decisions about my life (e.g. I will have an opportunity to move far away for work for a few years soon and I don't have to factor in another person's reaction to that and what it means for our future, I get to decide what is best for my own career and personal development).

Sorry about that · 02-04-2019 9:46pm

Ancapaildorcha and Voldejoie up a tree...

SCOOP 64 · 02-04-2019 9:51pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

O'shut up you, im married!

SusieBlue · 02-04-2019 9:53pm

I’ve been single for about 9 months after coming out of an extremely toxic LTR and I also love it.

It was a tough adjustment in the beginning but now that I’m used to being able to be selfish with my time, I’m very picky about who I invest it in.

After spending so long watching what I say, being told how to dress, not being able to see my friends, and living in what turned into a very hostile environment, I love the freedom of being able to do what I want when I want.
I only have myself to keep happy and I’m doing a pretty good job of it.

I am dabbling in dating and I would like to meet someone and settle down eventually but for now I’m quite content with being on my own.

Wibbs · 02-04-2019 9:53pm

Good question AC... Hmmm, kinda six of one, half dozen of the other for me. I've loved been in a good relationship, grew to hate being in a bad one. Been happy out single too. It depends. I do remember with one ex we temporarily split up and on the one hand I was all forlorn and bereft conjuring bad poetry while looking into a gale, and on the other hand a large part of me exhaled and relaxed as I was no longer dealing with her all too regular emotionals. The forlorn part won the battle temporarily as the "love" bit was still running strong, but after a reconciliation the relaxed part won the war(though the love bit kept niggling for a while, more built on the fantasy of all that).

I certainly did find down the years that where once I was much more open and engaging with the emotional ups and downs, as I got older that got really bloody old really bloody quickly.

mada82 · 02-04-2019 9:53pm

Deffo. Single a year now and if you talked to me then I thought it was going to be the end of the world.

The only downside is it can hard to have mates available as they are all married with kids.

is_that_so · 02-04-2019 9:54pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

Thirties (and beyond) is where you care less about the things that you felt you "had" to do in your twenties. It is far more chilled. Enjoy.

Signore Fancy Pants · 02-04-2019 9:58pm

Im married and can do pretty much whatever I want.

AllForIt · 02-04-2019 10:19pm

To me it's an odd question (don't mean that as a insult to the OP). It's the default position to be single. How anyone feel's worse off for the default position to me is just strange. In fact the very idea of 'enjoying being single' does't make much sense. To me it's like saying I enjoy having feet which I suppose I do but don't wake up in morning and thing gee wizz I'm really looking forward to another day with my feet.

I understand from reading posts on the Personal Issues forum that some ppl are desperate to be in a relationship and feel bad they are not. I've never felt this way myself and I don't feel like I'm the oddity for being happy with the default position. I've had 2 serious relationships in my llife, one I truly regret ended and indeed miss. But although I regret and miss this is not the same as saying I wish I were back in a relationships just for a relationships sake.

So although I'm not sad or desperate to be in a relation I wouldn't say I'm happy being single either, neither unhappy. I'm just single, that's it. And I do detest this notion that one can't be happy unless on is in a relationship. As long as your getting the ride somehow that is :pac:

TomasMacR · 02-04-2019 10:23pm

pro's and cons to both, simple as that, it's very liberating to have the freedom to do whatever you want to do whenever you want and some people are very comfortable in their own skin and being on their own. And then it's always nice to share good times with someone, whether its travel, a night out, family occasion and we all need companionship, its just human nature...we do need it but some of us are incapable of it no matter how much we crave it for lots of different reasons.

freshpopcorn · 02-04-2019 10:26pm

pumpkin4life · 02-04-2019 10:27pm

Well it depends.

I've seen a lot of people do this in an effort to rationalize away the fact that they're unattractive.

I'm not single, and its way better than being single tbh.

If that's not you, then ok. If it is, then you need to come up with a plan.

BBFAN · 02-04-2019 10:27pm

Nope, sorry OP, I know it's untrendy to admit but I don't enjoy being single.

I've previously ended a relationship I never should have because I thought there was better out there.

There wasn't and it's tough being on your own.

Maybe it's your age that protects you from it. Yes, I've travelled the world on my own but as I get older it worries me. "what the hell if something happens to me and no-one even realises?".

It could be because I just had a disastrous holiday when I really really wanted someone to be with me that's affecting my thinking but that's the way I feel right now.

I'd like to have someone who's number one priority is me. That's the way I feel right now.

buried · 02-04-2019 10:27pm

Yes. Yes I do enjoy it. Would like to be with someone but the rural area I live in its difficult to get any sort of new relationship going. I love living out in the wild countryside but at the same time I also like listening to electronic music that sounds like a drone computer is eating/$hitting itself alive, I love to read books about the history of the world that concerns the most weird and darkest occult aspects of it. That's my craic. But that sort of craic don't exactly fly if you go out on a first date here and a lady asks ya - "So, what sort of stuff are you into?"
Unless you enjoy listening to Nathan Carter and watching 'Dancing with the Canteen staff of RTE' out here, prepare to enjoy being single. And as long as I can listen to the sounds of a computer $hitting itself alive, those sounds turned up to 11 at 1am of a Friday night, then get up the next morning spending the day reading about the history of witchcraft drinking coffee and eating a rasher sandwich, I'm going to continue to enjoy the Hell out of it.

Lorelli! · 02-04-2019 10:28pm

My aunt has been single for most of her life and I'd definitely describe her as happy. She has a good social life and she's always on holidays. We joke that she goes away that much she's going to meet herself in the airport one day on the way back

I think you should just try your best to enjoy life in general. Obviously it has it's ups and downs. If you're happy and single and you do happen to meet someone then you will want to be in a relationship with them rather than feel you need too.

TomasMacR · 02-04-2019 10:29pm

Lorelli! wrote: »

My aunt has been single for most of her life and I'd definitely describe her as happy. She has a good social life and she's always on holidays. We joke that she goes away that much she's going to meet herself in the airport one day on the way back

I think you should just try your best to enjoy life in general. Obviously it has it's ups and downs. If you're happy and single and you do happen to meet someone then you will want to be in a relationship with them rather than feel you need too.

How many cats does she own?

Lorelli! · 02-04-2019 10:30pm

TomasMacR wrote: »

How many cats does she own?

Zero!

TomasMacR · 02-04-2019 10:37pm

buried wrote: »

Yes. Yes I do enjoy it. Would like to be with someone but the rural area I live in its difficult to get any sort of new relationship going. I love living out in the wild countryside but at the same time I also like listening to electronic music that sounds like a drone computer is eating/$hitting itself alive, I love to read books about the history of the world that concerns the most weird and darkest occult aspects of it. That's my craic. But that sort of craic don't exactly fly if you go out on a first date here and a lady asks ya - "So, what sort of stuff are you into?"
Unless you enjoy listening to Nathan Carter and watching 'Dancing with the Canteen staff of RTE' out here, prepare to enjoy being single. And as long as I can listen to the sounds of a computer $hitting itself alive, those sounds turned up to 11 at 1am of a Friday night, then get up the next morning spending the day reading about the history of witchcraft drinking coffee and eating a rasher sandwich, I'm going to continue to enjoy the Hell out of it.

Have you been on First Dates Ireland yet? They'd snap you up.

FTA69 · 02-04-2019 10:38pm

I had bought a house with my ex-partner and we split last week. Now I live in a converted warehouse with loads of alternative types. They look like a bunch of scruffs but most of them are actually fairly sound and good craic and I’m someone who f*cking hates hippies.

Being single has its benefits and its drawbacks. It’s that simple really. The adjustment of leaving a long term relationship is very hard but also it’s thrilling to be going out meeting new people, doing new stuff etc. Being 31 and single in London and going out regularly is the business.

Purple Mountain · 02-04-2019 10:39pm

We should start our own little club!
I'm late 30s and am completely blissful being single.
I'm a bit of a cheat though, I was engaged and have a 12yo from that so I'm in no panic over a biological clock.
It would give me heebegeebees getting into a relationship now.
I love my space, my independence and I get a great balance with my friends and my child.
I have enough friends to go away for a weekend with but sometimes they're not always available because they have partners or young babies but then again I'm not one to be going somewhere every week.
In an ideal world, I wouldn't mind a part time boyfriend, someone to go out with once a week or holiday with but I'd never give up my independent living or want a husband!

buried · 02-04-2019 10:41pm

TomasMacR wrote: »

Have you been on First Dates Ireland yet? They'd snap you up.

They couldn't afford my rasher sandwich requirements man. Yer TV licence would have to go up a good 20% to get me go on that mess

This is it · 02-04-2019 10:47pm

It has it's pros and cons. While I can do most things when single, some things are just better when you have someone to share them with. I'm happy being single, with the right person I'd also be happy in a relationship.

Also, saving for a mortgage on your own is a bîtch.

s7ryf3925pivug · 02-04-2019 10:48pm

I enjoyed being single or in very casual relationships a lot more than I enjoyed being in serious relationships - with the exception of the one with my wife. Most serious relationships are a bit ****.

ancapailldorcha · 02-04-2019 10:48pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Good question AC... Hmmm, kinda six of one, half dozen of the other for me. I've loved been in a good relationship, grew to hate being in a bad one. Been happy out single too. It depends. I do remember with one ex we temporarily split up and on the one hand I was all forlorn and bereft conjuring bad poetry while looking into a gale, and on the other hand a large part of me exhaled and relaxed as I was no longer dealing with her all too regular emotionals. The forlorn part won the battle temporarily as the "love" bit was still running strong, but after a reconciliation the relaxed part won the war(though the love bit kept niggling for a while, more built on the fantasy of all that).

I certainly did find down the years that where once I was much more open and engaging with the emotional ups and downs, as I got older that got really bloody old really bloody quickly.

Finding the right relationship is the tricky bit. Needs a fair bit of luck as well IMO. Spot on of course. I'd love to meet someone but at the same time might as well crack on with things I want to do.

Lady Haywire · 02-04-2019 10:54pm

buried wrote: »

Yes. Yes I do enjoy it. Would like to be with someone but the rural area I live in its difficult to get any sort of new relationship going. I love living out in the wild countryside but at the same time I also like listening to electronic music that sounds like a drone computer is eating/$hitting itself alive, I love to read books about the history of the world that concerns the most weird and darkest occult aspects of it. That's my craic. But that sort of craic don't exactly fly if you go out on a first date here and a lady asks ya - "So, what sort of stuff are you into?"
Unless you enjoy listening to Nathan Carter and watching 'Dancing with the Canteen staff of RTE' out here, prepare to enjoy being single. And as long as I can listen to the sounds of a computer $hitting itself alive, those sounds turned up to 11 at 1am of a Friday night, then get up the next morning spending the day reading about the history of witchcraft drinking coffee and eating a rasher sandwich, I'm going to continue to enjoy the Hell out of it.

I'm 95% sure you're someone who lives about 800m across the way from me. And if you're not you should meet him. :pac:

TomasMacR · 02-04-2019 11:02pm

I'm with someone what I would consider a very long time (13 years), kids etc. Everything going well enough, I think. No rows of any importance, good companionship, we do whatever we can to spend time with one another etc.

What scares me to death are not only the stuff on TV but friends of our parents who have after 40 odd years of marriage that have packed it in with their respective other. I know there was a previous generational issue with spouses putting up with one another for financial and social pressures but I'm more talking about the two people that you hear about in their twilight years that decide to part and remain best friends.

Mad_maxx · 02-04-2019 11:07pm

Men are better off single, women have all the power in marriages nowadays

Sorry about that · 02-04-2019 11:38pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Men are better off single, women have all the power in marriages nowadays

Except for the ones who don't.

Mad_maxx · 02-04-2019 11:46pm

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Sorry about that wrote: »

Except for the ones who don't.

If things don't work out, who is hit hardest, who does the state side with?

Sorry about that · 02-04-2019 11:50pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

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If things don't work out, who is hit hardest, who does the state side with?

You mean not working out like this:

In 2017, there were 15,833 disclosures of domestic violence against women noted during 21,451 contacts with Women's Aid Direct Services. There were 10,281 incidents of emotional abuse, 3,502 incidents of physical abuse and 1,443 incidents of financial abuse disclosed. In the same year, 607 incidents of sexual abuse were disclosed to our services including 323 rapes. The Women's Aid National Helpline responded to 15,952 calls in 2016. (Women's Aid Impact Report 2017)

Anyone else enjoy being single?

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