Have you ever been approached by women?

mr_fegelien · 01-06-2020 7:27pm #1

I know a male friend in my class who I thought was very handsome (I'm bi) when i first saw him. When I ask him about dating, he said he met and lost his virginity to two girls but here's the kicker, they all approached him in a nightclub. Didn't have to do any work.

I don't think that'll ever be me. Not only does he have a chiseled face but he's 6ft2. I'm 5ft 5in, too dark skinned and bad teeth. (things people have told me about being unattractive).

I have heard though of guys being approached outside pub/nightclub settings by women which is super rare. Do you know any men who have been approached like this?

skooterblue2 · 01-06-2020 7:39pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I know a male friend in my class who I thought was very handsome (I'm bi) when i first saw him. When I ask him about dating, he said he met and lost his virginity to two girls but here's the kicker, they all approached him in a nightclub. Didn't have to do any work.

Who is taking bets that your friend is full of BS and you fell for it hook line and sinker. Once you hear the same story from the same circle of friends you know it is bull****. I used to be the same, ask a few questions like what colour were her eyes and watch them search for the answer.

I used to have two associates who used to tell the same story. He was a single dad and his mother was looking after the child because his ex bolted. Then there was the time they (separately went to the Formulae 1 in Monaco and partied with Alien Ant Farm), Then after college these guys were going to work in Chicago in a 7 star restaurant in a Casino hotel.

All stories fellas just tell to big themselves up. Work on yourself and and you will shine through

H3llR4iser · 01-06-2020 7:55pm

I am not sure about how true your friend's story might be, especially as he claims for it to have been a threesome, but then again, strange things DO happen. Sometimes I learn things about how people meet and hook up that make me go "what the flying fcuck" (and occasionally feel a bit jealous/left out, but that's just human nature).

As for being approached by women...very very rarely, but it has happened to me; Interestingly, it almost always happened when I was in relationships, at least one time with my then-girlfriend standing right there. The one time it happened when I could have "availed" of the opportunity, it was at a work function and basically it turned out to be impossible to silently "disappear" without everyone noticing. As much as one might enjoy sex, it isn't worth having the whole office gossiping about it for months...to keep it mild.

Pawwed Rig · 01-06-2020 11:21pm

Too dark skinned? I am not sure what that even means. I know it is a projection of status in some countries to have paler skin but it is definitely not a thing in Ireland. On the contrary a bit of colour to the skin is often seen as beneficial.
TBH I have read a good few of the threads you have started and contributed to and alot of your ideas and outlooks seem to come from the US.
Ireland isn't the same as the US so my advice to you would be to stop listening to all the nonsense, get a real hobby and get on with your life.

To answer your question - twice in my life girls have approached me. Both were stunners and I am no oil painting. Just one of those things. Get yourself out there. Sometimes strange and unexpected things can happen.

edit - actually there was a third time in Germany but the girl seemed dodgy as .... so I bailed.

mr_fegelien · 02-06-2020 12:01am

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Too dark skinned? I am not sure what that even means. I know it is a projection of status in some countries to have paler skin but it is definitely not a thing in Ireland. On the contrary a bit of colour to the skin is often seen as beneficial.
TBH I have read a good few of the threads you have started and contributed to and alot of your ideas and outlooks seem to come from the US.
Ireland isn't the same as the US so my advice to you would be to stop listening to all the nonsense, get a real hobby and get on with your life.

To answer your question - twice in my life girls have approached me. Both were stunners and I am no oil painting. Just one of those things. Get yourself out there. Sometimes strange and unexpected things can happen.

edit - actually there was a third time in Germany but the girl seemed dodgy as .... so I bailed.

What do you mean the girl was dodgy?

02-06-2020 12:44am

OP, never change. Your posts are classic by now.

02-06-2020 1:03am

Approached once, I'll never forget it. There I was propping the bar, or at least it was propping me up. Heard this distant murmur as if half-awakening from a dream, a voice so sweetly mellifluous it was like an angel descended from heaven. The divine apparition spoke, "Is this seat taken?". "No, take it away". Swish, and she disappeared into the ether. Right there and then I knew I had graduated into manhood, and could now carry a briefcase with dignity. Yessir I'm going places, that automobile won't drive itself.

Rodney Bathgate · 02-06-2020 1:29am

I think your mother approached me one night, Mr. F.

Mike3287 · 02-06-2020 1:34am

Not till I got married

Not much use then

Pawwed Rig · 02-06-2020 6:00am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

What do you mean the girl was dodgy?

Possibly a drug addict. It was 2pm in a bar in Germany (I was on hols so perfectly acceptable;) )
She was very insistent that I come back to her house. One of the guys in the pub said he knew her to see and to be careful.

greenspurs · 02-06-2020 9:21am

ANOTHER one of these …..

Is there any way you could stop rehashing the same oul rubbish ?
FFS !

Rodney Bathgate · 02-06-2020 2:55pm

I reckon if we all chipped in together to get Mr. F an escort (gender of his choosing) that might put an end to these threads...

02-06-2020 2:58pm

It's not that uncommon.

partyguinness · 02-06-2020 3:13pm

Is the OP what is called an Incel?

For what it is worth I was approached many times (married for 10 years now). Ok not every night and certainly the minoirty of nights out and so were friends of mine which I witnessed so it really is not crazy unusual in the slightest.

partyguinness · 02-06-2020 3:18pm

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

I reckon if we all chipped in together to get Mr. F an escort (gender of his choosing) that might put an end to these threads...

I would seriously fear for the escort's life.

greenspurs · 02-06-2020 3:26pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Is the OP what is called an Incel?

For what it is worth I was approached many times (married for 10 years now). Ok not every night and certainly the minoirty of nights out and so were friends of mine which I witnessed so it really is not crazy unusual in the slightest.

I think so. :rolleyes:

Only joined 10mths ago.
nearly 1000 posts + 233 thread started !?!!

The vast majority about sex/sexuality/gender ….

Its ridiculous …… And people keep posting on them !!! (yes, I know I am doing that ...right now.... )

partyguinness · 02-06-2020 3:55pm

greenspurs wrote: »

I think so. :rolleyes:

Only joined 10mths ago.
nearly 1000 posts + 233 thread started !?!!

The vast majority about sex/sexuality/gender ….

Its ridiculous …… And people keep posting on them !!! (yes, I know I am doing that ...right now.... )

I think he is what my father would call "touched".

Rodney Bathgate · 02-06-2020 4:06pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I think he is what my father would call "touched".

Soft in the head?

Homelander · 02-06-2020 4:10pm

When I was younger, a relatively healthy amount in late night bars/nightclubs. Most definitely not overly handsome or chiselled either. It's definitely not "super rare" or anything like it. Far less common than men approaching women obviously, but not some sort of unheard of phenomenon.

Jurgen Klopp · 02-06-2020 4:11pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I think he is what my father would call "touched".

Or most likely a young black bisexual fella on boards and in reality a pasty white 50 something Irish lad living in bedsit posting on boards or a staff account to generate clicks if you look at the spread of threads

03-06-2020 7:27am

Cold approached almost never. I just do not have the looks for it.

The only time would be the gym story I told before. Short version - friend took me to my first gym cos Id never been. Him and the owner were showing me the ropes. They asked me to demo some of the martial arts and martial art dancing I know. So did a little demo. Small audience formed. Afterwards a lovely girl approached me and basically asked if we could get a hotel together. Turned it down - then some gym bunny took offence to the whole thing and started a fight on me for coming to "his" gym and trying to hit on the clientele. Which I absolutely did not do - she approached me. Not a great day overall.

Not cold approachs though - situations where I have organised a social thing - like where I organise pre gig meetups before music I like and so I am "the" guy in that situation - I have found a few cases where women would put the move on me. Not because I am a looker or anything. But I think solely because I am the centre of attention and the social glue in that situation and it just makes you seem more attractive than you are.

DavyD_83 · 05-06-2020 10:51am

Is it possible to ignore all threads started by a user?
Just wondering...

Kylta · 06-06-2020 11:40pm

greenspurs wrote: »

I think so. :rolleyes:

Only joined 10mths ago.
nearly 1000 posts + 233 thread started !?!!

The vast majority about sex/sexuality/gender ….

Its ridiculous …… And people keep posting on them !!! (yes, I know I am doing that ...right now.... )

I think mr feg is a computer gimmick to get people posting. I said this on other posts, but I think he may have a loyal following so everytime the computer operated thing, thinks up something ridiculous it pops out has mr feg. If you go through some of his.threads there mind numbing. I mean you can't even give him stick. Its like slagging of your phone.

monkeysnapper · 06-06-2020 11:50pm

Ooo man I remember back when I was about 20 I was driving back to family home and as I pulled into spot outside this lady , and I use that word "lady " asked me if I could give her a lift home ....it was only a mile or so ...

I was obviously a shy young man and I said yes ... so I took her to her house , and as she got out and thanked me she said

" I live in that house right there if you ever want to visit"

Looking back I'd say she was probably about mid 30s

I'm 44 now .... and I dont think she was that bad looking .....

The answers no ...... but I bet she was dead dirty.

monkeysnapper · 06-06-2020 11:57pm

I was going to edit last one but I deserves one of it's own...

My best mate, my best man at wedding best mate ....

I remember him telling me when we were about 18/19 that he lost his virginity to a 30 something lady he met on night out ......God the old ladies back then were horney.

Just to clarify it wasnt same lady as above.

Ha ha I remember him saying " God it was brilliant"

Filthy......

H3llR4iser · 08-06-2020 2:23pm

monkeysnapper wrote: »

Ooo man I remember back when I was about 20 I was driving back to family home and as I pulled into spot outside this lady , and I use that word "lady " asked me if I could give her a lift home ....it was only a mile or so ...

I was obviously a shy young man and I said yes ... so I took her to her house , and as she got out and thanked me she said

" I live in that house right there if you ever want to visit"

Looking back I'd say she was probably about mid 30s

I'm 44 now .... and I dont think she was that bad looking .....

The answers no ...... but I bet she was dead dirty.

Yeah heard a few of these stories - most of the times, the "first visit" is welcomed with a nice price list for the various services available

Then again, it WAS different times, it's insane and disconcerting to see the direction society has gone the last 20 years.

partyguinness · 08-06-2020 3:14pm

I have had the "Are you looking for business?" when walking through Benburb Street at 11pm on a Saturday night.

Well, I wasn't but now that you ask...:o

mr_fegelien · 08-06-2020 4:41pm

It's funny how some posters talk about being appproached by older women but in my experience most older women are still very picky (Despite being less desired in the SMV). The vast majority I've talked to won't date a guy who's less than 2 years older.

Not saying your story is fake but you're lucky that a 30yr old woman is attracted to a man 10 years younger. I'd say that's rare.

Figel Narage · 09-06-2020 5:57pm

Been approached once or twice, I'm not ugly but nothing special either and anytime it has happened, I assumed it was a prank or something and acted quite cold towards them haha. But women aren't used to the rejection we have all experienced as lads and don't want to start knowing what that feels like so they'll give you these really vague and subtle hints that they are into you without officially making it obvious in case you reject them. I guarantee every one of us has experienced this, they'll do anything, I mean anything but go up and say hello or make it a bit more obvious. I wish they be more blunt more often with regards to this stuff but that's probably never going to happen

TuringBot47 · 16-07-2020 5:14pm

In my younger years, 20 years ago... although was too shy to do anything about it. Far too many missed chances. College, working in a bar all weekend, cycling, great companies I worked in... I was in good shape.

Random daughter of a regular in the pub leaving their last rolo for me behind the bar.
Lounge girl asking another barman if I was interested.
Secondary school girl I never really talked to leaving their phone number behind the bar for me.
College friend declaring their love for me.
Girls "accidentally" backing into me in the pub to start a conversation.

So need to go back in time and lift my younger self up.

Limpy · 16-07-2020 5:21pm

Id say your mate is telling the truth. Then again he was in The Inbetweeners so maybe the fame stood to him.

Was the nightclub at a caravan park by any chance. Is your name Will? I'll but that yellow Fiat off you, I don't mind the different colour door.

Have you ever been approached by women?

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