Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

What is your impression of Aspergers syndrome?

1…45679

Comments

  • #242
    maxwell smart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,939 ✭✭✭maxwell smart


    Fieldog wrote: »
    My cousin has Asperger's, he was only diagnosed with it at the age of 28 I think, before that we were all convinced (and the doctors) he was dyslexic, he sat a dyslexic junior and leaving cert as thats what the diagnosis was, his writing and grammar was terrible, he always struggled with certain things like that..

    He goes through phases in his life, one minute he is the biggest Trekkie you would ever meet and was borderline obsessed with Star Trek growing up, the next week he is a goth and wearing 3/4 length leather jackets and makeup... (at 37!)

    He has a fairly normal life as it stands, he's a tradesman, works all his life, has a chick, who was a bit young for him when they first got together but she seems to get him, all in all he is fairly happy in his bubble...

    I get the part about empathy, I think sometimes he does not know what he does be at and can get confused with himself...

    If you met him you would just think he was odd, a strange kettle of fish, he is very mannerly and really nice and chatty etc...

    I don't think of him as handicapped or anything of the sort, I just think you take him as he is...

    Sounds like he has a great life and someone who cares about him. What more could someone want


  • #243
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    Fieldog wrote: »
    I don't think of him as handicapped or anything of the sort, I just think you take him as he is...

    HandsomeDefiniteAntelope-size_restricted.gif


  • #244
    CinemaGuy45
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    paleoperson wrote: »
    I lose all respect for and interest in someone immediately when they try to trick or deceive me like that.

    I am very much against any kind of "experiments" where some people are being deceived. I think they're wrong and at best pointless.

    Social gaffes and mistakes are my life if one mistake is enough to turn you off somebody you really have zero understanding and tolerance for people on the spectrum.


  • #245
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    CinemaGuy45 wrote: »
    Social gaffes and mistakes are my life if one mistake is enough to turn you off somebody you really have zero understanding and tolerance for people on the spectrum.

    Or people in general one might argue....


  • #246
    MikeyTaylor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,670 ✭✭✭MikeyTaylor


    I have it.


  • Advertisement
  • #247
    CinemaGuy45
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    MikeyTaylor wrote: »
    I have it.

    Your threads were part of my inspiration for this thread.
    Read through quite a few of us here have it.


  • #248
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    CinemaGuy45 wrote: »
    As regards the HSE I applied about 8 years ago still waiting to hear back.:rolleyes:

    That's it. 50% of hse budget to Bulgarian hospitals that will schedule procedures and diagnoses for the Irish population. You know this makes more sense.


  • #249
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    professore wrote: »
    She needs some time to herself every day
    ...
    she tends to talk and talk in social situations as a coping mechanism
    ...
    The most difficult thing is that she is extremely stubborn and will never ever admit she is wrong about something.
    Often the "being wrong" was her misunderstanding something that was said.
    ...
    She gets obsessed with ... <insert_something_here>

    ... I read it was harder, but you got it working for your family unit, and communication got easier from when it was all in the open ...Thank you for sharing !

    Also, I hope you won't mind quoting your message, but I can relate very well with all points above, while I think I am not exactly an average NT, as all my life I had my quirks. But I am also an IT professional and sometimes do wonder how much my job profile, the (cultural) environment, working close to some of my co-workers re-wired my brain to become who I am today.
    - As someone said earlier that we're all on the spectrum in a way, think this has some truth in it :)

    Since I was looking into the aspie female traits found this blog thought I'd post here: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/


    PS: @all, plse don't get into an aspie gender debate now :)


  • #250
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,051 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I find the stuff about the problems with overstimulation interesting. That as Calhoun said earlier folks with this condition find it hard to handle more than one "program" at a time coming down the line. I was only thinking on it in the car earlier. Apparently when you're born, you have more connections in your brain than an adult and very early on a process prunes these connections down so that you end up "normal".

    I wonder is it this that's affected with Aspergers? That you folks that have this have too many of these connections that would otherwise have been pruned, so what is just background noise for me, unimportant until my brain decides it's important, comes in with equal importance and force for you guys?

    A dodgy analogy might be: your brain is the CEO of a big company, it can't deal with all the minutia that's going on so it has a secretary that filters that stuff out and only passes on the important stuff. You guys are missing that assistant so the phones are constantly hopping off the hook?

    EG. the Cocktail party effect, where you're at a gathering with the background drone of conversation that you dismiss on an instinctive level, but if someone calls or mentions your name you immediately pick that out. Would you folks with Aspergers be able to do that or would it be just too much stimulation going on?

    That overstimulation must be a bloody nightmare for ye. Especially in modern society. Maybe one reason people were under diagnosed in the past partly because there was far less "noise" going on? EG an Aspie lad living in 1850's Italy working as an olive farmer would have far less "noise" in his life and environment. He might be seen as a bit odd, because he didn't like crowds at religious festivals or whatever, but otherwise would likely seem not odd at all.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #251
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    professore wrote: »
    Most people who know her would say she is confident, articulate and outgoing. We get to see how draining she really finds it all and how little she actually enjoys it. I suspect there are nearly as many Aspie girls out there as boys, but the girls can hide it better.

    I don't know about it but for autism there is a different set of criteria is my understanding as it presents differently in girls than boys
    Or it's under reported in girls or camouflaged better as you say


  • Advertisement
  • #252
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,051 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Aye B, for years it was seen as the "Male" condition. I've even heard it described as the "male brain in extremis". Good to see the focus has looked to some women who have it. It's pretty clear the male only focus was a bit daft and hid many girls and women who could have been helped. Maybe they "hide" it better because from very early on girls are pushed more into social interactions, so learn to cope, whereas boys who are more on the loner scale are more accepted and don't learn to cope? Looking back I reckon I've known three women who were classically Aspie. Two were highly qualified and highly regarded medical doctors. One a relative.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #253
    Calhoun
    Registered Users Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    The institutionalising of children is where I thought you were going because that’s what generally happens with children with disabilities and developmental disorders when the State steps in in the interests of the children’s welfare when the parents are deemed to be incapable of providing for the child’s needs. They’re institutionalised until they either age out of the system, or are transferred to an adult rehabilitative facility. They don’t go on to have any opportunities in life and the whole process has a detrimental effect on their mental health.

    When I say I know where you’re coming from, I really do, as I worked with children and adults with autism and other developmental disorders and intellectual disabilities for a number of years. That’s why the whole ‘aspies’ stuff really ticks me off, because it’s like trying to put a cutsie positive spin on what is a developmental disorder, and also why the whole ‘spectrum’ stuff is, from my point of view at least, a load of bollocks. There’s no risk for example of an adult diagnosed with aspergers putting your head through the window of a transit van because you naively insist on offering him an apple he doesn’t want :pac:

    It was definitely a learning experience, from the non-verbal guy who liked to click his fingers in time with the vibrations of the van as we were driving, to the guy who never stopped talking and had a thing for men in uniform :D I met plenty of parents (many of them elderly themselves) who couldn’t cope with their adult children’s disabilities, but then I also met plenty of parents who could and didn’t want their children labelled. It wasn’t because of any stigma, but simply because they didn’t regard their children in terms of what other people would see as a disability.

    I just don’t agree with the current trend to pathologise children with an A to Z of clinical diagnoses which the criteria are being broadened all the time to include more children in this ‘spectrum’ of disorders from mental health disorders to developmental disorders, and there is a growing tendency among some parents to want to have their children diagnosed with something for which the parents can say ‘everything makes sense now’, and while it’s not so prevalent here in this country, in larger populations like the US and the UK it’s rife among certain demographics who have a propensity to want the medical and psychiatric professionals to agree with their diagnosis of their children’s behaviours because being ‘aspie’ or having ‘aspie’ children is trendy among that particular social demographic nowadays, quite the opposite of any perceived stigma about developmental disorders, it’s like it’s regarded as a badge of honour.

    The last thing any parent wants is to have their child institutionalized which is why you need parents who fight for their kids to make sure they aren't put into one but also engages with the right services to ensure it never gets that far. I am not sure what its like for folk who are on the Asperger spectrum but the best way to stop it from happening with children with ASD is to get them the right intervention early.

    If they don't learn how to communicate properly early on and fall into a routine of violence they will basically face a life where they will be pacified with drugs which is not what you want.

    All i have to go on is my little girl who is non-verbal but she can communicate, she is big into picture based communication and when not lazy she will use it all the time. She also has a big problem at the moment with stimming and sensory overload which we are working with an occupational therapist to get a hang of. If we don't work on getting her more verbal she would essentially be to reliant on us hence which is not good for her long term.

    As someone who lives with a person on the spectrum i wish it was a fad or something trendy. I just don't think the numbers on this side of the water add up to it being a trend. Not to say you don't get people who will try and get some sort of diagnosis for political reasons but they are few and far between and far removed from people on the ground.

    I have mixed feelings on using the term Aspie, if its something that empowers the folks affected by it then why not? Getting positive vibes out their about it is really required to change the lives of vulnerable children. As advised earlier i know a few bluechip companies have setup working teams with folk on the spectrum ect. Its all these things that help folk on the spectrum adapt to modern life.

    Saying all that though the world is a harsh place and i know if my girl is to be ok after im gone i have to make sure she can adapt the best she can no matter what is thrown at her.


  • #254
    The Crazy Cat Lady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭The Crazy Cat Lady


    I have it as well :)


  • #255
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users Posts: 16,861 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    Wibbs wrote:
    Aye B, for years it was seen as the "Male" condition. I've even heard it described as the "male brain in extremis". Good to see the focus has looked to some women who have it. It's pretty clear the male only focus was a bit daft and hid many girls and women who could have been helped. Maybe they "hide" it better because from very early on girls are pushed more into social interactions, so learn to cope, whereas boys who are more on the loner scale are more accepted and don't learn to cope? Looking back I reckon I've known three women who were classically Aspie. Two were highly qualified and highly regarded medical doctors. One a relative.

    I briefly scanned an article earlier suggesting that the rate for girls may be artificially low. They are now thinking that girls are better at covering it up & then the possibility that a lot of the tell tail traits are more masculine traits and are more noticeable in boys.

    It'll be interesting to see the results of their research


  • #256
    CinemaGuy45
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    aspiewriter wrote: »
    I have it as well :)

    Never would have guessed.;)

    Don't mind me:D it is nice to know just how many of us there are quite a few have come out in this thread.


  • #257
    god's toy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭god's toy


    I have said before on here, on how being able to act the part helps cover up your 'aspie-ness' day to day and helps you blend into the background and some people even forget for a time. However it can take just one trivial event (in the eyes of an NT) to undo all the training and coping mechanisms built up over the years.

    I had to do a one day course for work, *My mind almost going into panic mode... thinking AHH a course! NOO!!! All those people and talking, small talk!!! AHHHH.. Hold on, Wait, slow breaths. In and out....'You have done this one many times before', I said to myself.. but who will be there?... WAIT, slow down.. you know everyone, it's in your work place, it will be fine, just talk about the weather if someone wants to chat.* Ok Lets do this!

    All was fine until I found out they were sending me to an unknown place on my own and no amount of prep could get me fully ready for the day ahead. I was a wreck the whole day but did it! Took a few days of not speaking and having alone time to fully get the event out of my system but it's done now.. for another 4 years anyway.


  • #258
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Sleeper12 wrote: »
    I briefly scanned an article earlier suggesting that the rate for girls may be artificially low. They are now thinking that girls are better at covering it up & then the possibility that a lot of the tell tail traits are more masculine traits and are more noticeable in boys.

    It'll be interesting to see the results of their research

    People still think of it as a male condition. My daughter and son both are AS and both have the same struggles but I think it's easier for him, he gets more allowances than she does even with people who know her condition. My daughter is, to be frank, weird. When we explain it's because of her AS I will regularly here "but that only affects boys" or "she cant be AS, she's in college"

    There is still a lot of education needed.


  • #259
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    Wibbs wrote: »
    EG. the Cocktail party effect, where you're at a gathering with the background drone of conversation that you dismiss on an instinctive level, but if someone calls or mentions your name you immediately pick that out. Would you folks with Aspergers be able to do that or would it be just too much stimulation going on?

    I can really only speak for myself (and I don't have an AS or ASD diagnosis,just lots of questions) but yeah it's pretty annoying (I'm using a polite word).

    Imagine being at that cocktail party and not being able to stop to not just try to listen to everything happening in the room but interpreting it as well, not just all the conversations, ice cubes tinkling in glasses, change in pockets, mobile phone alerts, people moving around, unidentified noises (they're the worst for me) outside or in a different room.

    I can usually manage to completely tune out however that kinda defeats the point of going to a party in the first place and on top of that it's not the healthiest coping strategy. Or perhaps defense mechanism is a better word.

    There's some good videos on Youtube that simulate sensory overload if you want to have a look.


  • #260
    fattymuatty
    Registered Users Posts: 295 ✭✭fattymuatty


    I haven't read the whole thread but my husband has Aspergers. It only clicked once some younger relatives were diagnosed and he recognised himself in the diagnosis and then went through the process himself.

    We were young when we first met and I suppose it is only over time when I have 'grown up' and he hasn't to the same degree that the cracks started to show. Also as he has gotten older certain traits have become more obvious for want of a better word. I love him very much and don't want to slag him(I'm sure he has a fair few complaints about me too!) but for sure his aspergers makes life more difficult for both of us. It has had a tremendous impact on my mental health over the years and I know from speaking to other women who are married to men with Aspergers that I am not alone on that. The very fact that women like me seek out support groups says a lot I suppose. It's hard to describe to someone who isn't married to someone on the spectrum how it can effect you and it isn't something I really talk about to people who don't have direct experience of this and I know everyone else I talk to feels the same.

    For now we are happy enough, I have adapted to suit him, I seek emotional support outside of our relationship through friendships as it isn't something my husband is able to give me. He is happy out and completely oblivious to most of the struggles I feel within our relationship(even though we have spoken about them), unless we are actually in the middle of a row our relationship to him is great. He works, he has a good relationship with our children for the most part and even though curiosity made him seek a diagnosis it isn't something he dwells on or has told anyone in real life about.

    I don't have one particular image of what someone with ASD is like, I don't think many people who meet my husband would guess he has ASD and I think there are a lot of adults out there who have it and who don't know about it.


  • #261
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    wexie wrote: »
    I can really only speak for myself (and I don't have an AS or ASD diagnosis,just lots of questions) but yeah it's pretty annoying (I'm using a polite word).

    Imagine being at that cocktail party and not being able to stop to not just try to listen to everything happening in the room but interpreting it as well, not just all the conversations, ice cubes tinkling in glasses, change in pockets, mobile phone alerts, people moving around, unidentified noises (they're the worst for me) outside or in a different room.

    I can usually manage to completely tune out however that kinda defeats the point of going to a party in the first place and on top of that it's not the healthiest coping strategy. Or perhaps defense mechanism is a better word.

    There's some good videos on Youtube that simulate sensory overload if you want to have a look.

    Sensory overload or Wibb's earlier non-pruned neurons (to sum it up perhaps poorly) is a good theory. It could be about learning to view it positively. For all the bad feelings, there are as many if not more potentially magnified good feelings.
    I do not have aspergers and yet when people describe aspergers experiences I often feel I can relate and find that the symptoms do not sound dysfunctional - instead they simply sound like eminently sensible reactions to the often crazy way things are. What's wrong with not liking loud parties, busy places, rushing people, loads of electrical stimulation, etc etc?


  • Advertisement
  • #262
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    Zorya wrote: »
    I do not have aspergers and yet when people describe aspergers experiences I often feel I can relate and find that the symptoms do not sound dysfunctional - instead they simply sound like eminently sensible reactions to the often crazy way things are. What's wrong with not liking loud parties, busy places, rushing people, loads of electrical stimulation, etc etc?

    Nothing really, but it's not just cocktail parties (which I'd happily go without), what about kids, birthday parties, family gatherings, amusement parks, airports, public transport, work gatherings etc. etc. etc.

    Chaos and noise is a part of modern life, there's only so much you can do to avoid it before it starts interfering with your ability to actually live it.


  • #263
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    wexie wrote: »
    Nothing really, but it's not just cocktail parties (which I'd happily go without), what about kids, birthday parties, family gatherings, amusement parks, airports, public transport, work gatherings etc. etc. etc.

    Chaos and noise is a part of modern life, there's only so much you can do to avoid it before it starts interfering with your ability to actually live it.

    Yeah, I know, it's hard to avoid especially when the children are smaller and stuff has to be done. But really you are talking about the introvert's many dilemmas. I just keep my focus fairly narrow in noisy places, like at airports listening to music on my headphones, likewise public transport, amusement parks, Jesus, I wouldn't be caught dead in one, kids parties I used to keep busy cooking and minding small children because children make me feel peaceful, family gatherings pretty much the same - in fact being the cook is a great get out clause, you can look like you are part of everything but concentrate on making food! I work alone, self-employed, so no work gatherings thanks be to goodness.
    Later on when the children grow up one can much more easily become a happy hermit and people just affectionately shrug you off as weird and you can be perfectly content to only poke your nose out of your hut whenever you actually feel like it. Which happens, unbelievably :)


  • #264
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    Sleeper12 wrote: »
    I briefly scanned an article earlier suggesting that the rate for girls may be artificially low. They are now thinking that girls are better at covering it up & then the possibility that a lot of the tell tail traits are more masculine traits and are more noticeable in boys.

    It'll be interesting to see the results of their research

    Can you plse include a link instead of quoting ? Maybe "they" didn't use the correct diagnosis methods for girls :(
    - also interested in what are the deltas between male/female Asperger's.
    Earlier I've also included in one of my posts a link to Tania Marshals blog - focus on female aspie traits.

    Now adding another link describing how it is different :
    https://www.kennethrobersonphd.com/women-aspergers-different-matter/

    An important consequence of these characteristics is that women are at greater risk of having undetected Asperger’s than are men. By internalizing their problems and appearing sad, lonely or withdrawn rather than disruptive or troublesome, they fall below the radar of family, friends, and professionals. Because of their social motivation and better non-verbal communication, they are often diagnosed with mood or stress-related disorders, rather than Asperger’s. This is compounded by a frequent bias among professionals that women can’t have Asperger’s. As a result, women require more severe symptoms and a greater number of symptoms to meet the criteria for an Asperger’s diagnosis.


  • #265
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users Posts: 16,861 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    mvl wrote: »
    Can you plse include a link instead of quoting ? Maybe "they" didn't use the correct diagnosis methods for girls :(


    I posted that last night after getting home from the U2 gig. Here are some links


    https://www.abc.net.au/7.30/autism-more-common-in-girls-than-previously-thought/9694098


    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/sep/14/thousands-of-autistic-girls-and-women-going-undiagnosed-due-to-gender-bias


    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/autism-it-s-different-in-girls/


    https://www.wired.co.uk/article/underdiagnosis-autism-women-and-girls


    https://nbatests.com/do-girls-and-women-camoflauge-autism/


    https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/signs-of-autism-in-girls/


  • #266
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    thanks, no worries.

    having opened a couple of links, they're similar to what I included above.
    but actually was asking about the one with "artificially low" :)

    PS: 23:36 is what I would call an early evening - was it good ?


  • #267
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users Posts: 16,861 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    mvl wrote:
    PS: 23:36 is what I would call an early evening - was it good ?


    I'm on a 10 minute drive from the Three arena at that time hour of the night

    Great show.


  • #268
    AndrewJRenko
    Registered Users Posts: 28,277 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    Zorya wrote: »
    What's wrong with not liking loud parties, busy places, rushing people, loads of electrical stimulation, etc etc?
    I heard that when Supervalu in Clonakilty introduced a 'quiet night' on Tuesday evenings for people with autism, with no background music and no paging, it turned into a very popular night for lots of people who just preferred the quiet.


  • #269
    skooterblue2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,816 ✭✭✭skooterblue2


    Jack Moore wrote: »
    balderdash

    Wozniack, Gates, Boole, Hawkins, Turing...... want to rethink that? Those are just for starters


  • #270
    skooterblue2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,816 ✭✭✭skooterblue2


    mikemac2 wrote: »
    If someone has a diagnosis for Aspergers and acts like that in the workplace do they get a free pass? Can’t discipline me, it’s my condition

    It doesnt work like that either, you get hired with the understanding that there will be certain social faux pauxs made and you choose your role in industry very carefully as not to burn out, create stress and work within the limitations of the system. Once you start to exceed those limitations, you dont get your contract renewed, returned to the agency, fired, or whatever.


  • Advertisement
  • #271
    god's toy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭god's toy


    skooterblue2 wrote: »
    It doesnt work like that either, you get hired with the understanding that there will be certain social faux pauxs made and you choose your role in industry very carefully as not to burn out, create stress and work within the limitations of the system. Once you start to exceed those limitations, you dont get your contract renewed, returned to the agency, fired, or whatever.

    Indeed, I make it a point to always go back and apologize if (in the heat of the moment/moment of my stress) my internal filters go off-line and I end up speaking my mind for everyone to hear. I have found it's so easy to stand up to the colleague, Super or even CEO in anger when I believe I'm right but so hard to return and apologize later after I had time to think about it... If I didn't I'm sure I would have been sacked years ago.


Advertisement