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Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    After seeing doozerie's post in Dr Ferrari's thread (clearly the old age is starting to affect his memory, and he's forgotten this thread is here so he doesn't have to figure out how to start a blog) reminded me of some fantastic driving skills that I witness last night on Dorset Street.

    Right about here - http://goo.gl/maps/ftNWp (except on the northbound side of the street) - after business hours, there tends to be cars parked along the side of the road (in the "cycle lane") on the far side of the junction. Two lines of traffic start off from the green lights, and then the parked cars and the traffic island force it into one. Except this guy in the lefthand lane was having none of it. Never mind the fact that there was a large spacewagon-type taxi in the right lane, who also wasn't moving an inch. Side-by-side, they head for the funnel. Neck and neck, nobody backing down! The suspense! Who wins? Who loses? I'll tell you who nearly lost - the owner of the parked car whose mirror got clocked by the eejit in the car.

    However, in poetic justice, the mirror of the parked car was unaffected - completely intact when I rode by it a few seconds later. As I passed the other fella stopped at a light up ahead though, the glass part of his mirror was hanging out of the protective shell. Unfortunately it looked like it could just be popped back in, so the lesson might not hit home as hard as it needed to. Still, amusing for me to watch from behind.

    Later on, I overtook an aul' fella (I know, even older than grumpy aul' me) dawdling along. I stopped at a red light at a crossroads, as the pedestrian lights lit up for all directions, and he came around me. He hesitated for a moment, then turned left, rode up onto the pavement, turned right, and rode back down onto the road. Then he proceeded on with his journey. Obviously, it doesn't count as breaking a red light if you nip onto the footpath first. For that second that you are off the road, you revert to pedestrian status (though neither foot touches the ground) and thereby you are granted the right to rejoin the road (as a cyclist now... it might be a quantum mechanics thing). The way some people assuage a guilty conscience fascinates me.

    On a lighter note, I was walking down to the shops earlier, and a cyclist was waiting at the lights wearing a hi-viz. The back of it said, "emergency co-ordinator", though I had no emergencies for him to co-ordinate. Nor did I need a co-ordinator urgently. But I was comforted to know he was nearby if anything did happen.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    I haven't been riled up enough recently to warrant moaning in this thread, but a morning last week just about meets the criteria. I was trackstanding at a red light at a large and busy crossroads. I kept close to the kerb, prepared for the wave of cyclists to go past on my right as soon as the pedestrian-only lights went green, and they duly did. I wasn't prepared though for the guy on a bike who shoved past between me and the kerb. But my annoyance at him was disturbed by the guy on a bike immediately behind me who rolled slowly into my stationary back wheel. When I looked back at him he gave me the universal gormless "Wha'?" face.

    I didn't have the enthusiasm at the time to engage with gob****es, I'd have had to expend so much energy in just conveying the fact that their actions were wrong and ignorant that I'd have had no energy left to tell them what I really thought of them.

    Several minutes later I was going through a T-junction on green when I had to haul on the brakes to avoid colliding with a woman cyclist coming from my left, through a red light, at full speed. It was just one of those days.


  • Registered Users Posts: 588 ✭✭✭t'bear


    Buy yourself a car, there appear to be loads of unused ones on this forum :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    http://goo.gl/maps/6cDVC - two yield signs. Didn't stop some asshat blasting straight through without a moment's hesitation despite me coming in from the right. Had to slam on the brakes. I know the junction, so I was half-expecting him to behave as he did.

    Caught up with him a minute later, and gave him an earful. He just gaped at me. I don't think he even saw me (didn't look for me), despite my front light. I tend to keep it on a steady 60 lumens in the city, but am considering keeping it on a flashing 200 in future.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,365 ✭✭✭Lusk Doyle


    You need a whistle!


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  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,337 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Nearly got run over myself last night by a cyclist.
    I had a red and I knew he had too but he was edging over it at a snails pace. Eventually my light went green, but there was no traffic around so he decided to power off when I got my Green?!?
    I roared RED LIGHT at him and he stopped just in time but he let out a "Pfffft" noise of disgust in my general direction, which was so condescending I had no answer. By the time my annoyance caught up with my mind, we had parted ways.

    Not a Buffalo or Doozerie story but it seems the most appropriate place, any suggestions for how I should have handled the situation?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    Not specifically cycling related, but here goes: I was driving back from Carrickmines yesterday, along a 2-lane stretch of road leading to a large roundabout. A small white mini moved into my lane ahead of me, not an indicator in sight. It took the same route as me, exiting the roundabout by the 4th exit. Likewise at the next roundabout. Not even a hint of an indicator at any stage.

    At a T-junction near Kilternan it stopped at a red traffic light, me just behind it. While waiting there, a female hand emerged from the driver's window and dropped a cigarette butt on the ground. A minute later the light went green, and the car swung left, yet again with no indicator.

    Earlier I'd noticed a professionally painted sign on the side of the car, which read "brown cow". I had assumed it was advertising for a business, I now realize that it was actually an artistic social commentary on the nature of the driver.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    Here is a more cycling relevant moan from this morning: the fella on a bike who decided that he'd alternate between clinging to my back wheel and overlapping my back wheel. Good luck with that.

    At one point it was quite obvious that a gap up ahead was going to be closed off by cars pushing in towards the footpath so I eased off on the pedals and applied my brakes gradually in plenty of time. Yer man behind seemed oblivious to pretty much every kind of cue so when he hit his brakes late all I heard was the sound of his non-rotating tyre being very effectively worn smooth by the tarmac.

    On several occasions, when approaching a cyclist ahead, I glanced back prior to changing line only to find yer man's front wheel right alongside my rear wheel and if I'd moved as I'd planned to I would have taken his front wheel out completely. Instead, cue more braking by me to avoid colliding with the cyclist that I couldn't get around in the circumstances, and cue more emergency braking by the idiot behind.

    In fairness to him though, he was wearing a blindingly bright yellow (hi-viz) jacket, he clearly wishes to live, and presumably die, by the motto of "If you are going to be a prat, be the most conspicuous feckin' prat that you can possibly be".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,365 ✭✭✭Lusk Doyle


    "I'M NOT YOUR ****ING DOMESTIQUE & YOU'RE NOT A ****ING TEAM LEADER!" is the answer to that behaviour.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,160 ✭✭✭JMcL


    doozerie wrote: »
    A small white mini moved into my lane ahead of me, not an indicator in sight. It took the same route as me, exiting the roundabout by the 4th exit. Likewise at the next roundabout. Not even a hint of an indicator at any stage.

    Sure Minis are made by BMW these days, and they don't come fitted with indicators, at least not that I've ever seen :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 426 ✭✭High Nellie


    I find that the older and grumpier I get the more I am right about everything.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    I find that the older and grumpier I get the more I am right about everything.

    I thought I was supposed to just get more right-wing, but you say I'm going to be more right about everything too? Sweet!


  • Registered Users Posts: 865 ✭✭✭Stollaire


    buffalo wrote: »
    Bingo! I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong this week, but I've had three ...discussions in as many days of cycling.

    Coming into Terenure earlier on a sunny Sunday afternoon, from the town direction. Along this stretch - http://goo.gl/maps/rC6Pk - were a row of parked cars. I think most of them must've been up on the footpath, because there was one van that jutted out a couple of feet further, so he must've been parked entirely on the road. There's a cycle track and it's a clearway, but not on Sunday.

    Pootling along, doing 25-30kmph, staying out of the door zone, there's oncoming traffic... hear a car behind me. *beeeeep* I sigh. I turn around. Taxi driver. I'm not sure how much further left he wants me to be, because even if I was hugging the wing mirrors, there's no way there's enough room for him to overtake me with the oncoming traffic. I shrug my shoulders at him, and continue on.

    *rev rev* *beeeeeeeeeeeep* What? There's only a few more cars left, then I'll be able to pull in. He's yelling I think. I have to move out a little further around the van, which really gets his goat. *beeeep* I move in to the left, and he pulls alongside. "Have you ever been hit by a car door?", I ask. He tells me to stay in to the left, then pulls off. I yell something at him, and he stops up ahead. yay! We're going to have a discussion about it! Maybe we connect on a human level, and have a civil interaction.

    I pull alongside. "Have you ever been hit by a car door?", I ask again. He tells me to stay left again, then pulls off once more.

    I was tempted to call into Terenure station and report him, but I was looking forward to the spin. I have the reg, and most of the taxi number, will be giving them a quick call in the morning.

    My heart actually started to race as I read your story :D

    Being bullied by a road troll strikes a nerve.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    Only a mild tale today, of a driver who couldn't tell the difference between the stop line and the advanced stop line, who needed to overtake an overtaking cyclist with beeping and about a foot and a half to spare, so he could beat him to the back of the line of traffic twenty meters up the road. Twat.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,365 ✭✭✭Lusk Doyle


    I can't wait for the day when someone comes on here to "rant" or muse mildly about some sh1t you do!


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    Lusk Doyle wrote: »
    I can't wait for the day when someone comes on here to "rant" or muse mildly about some sh1t you do!

    I'm expecting one of the guys I overtook in Ranelagh to come on any moment. Tonnes of red-light breakers, and few opportunities to overtake when stuck behind them on the inside of car traffic. One of them gave me a bewildered look as I passed him, I think he was confused as to why someone who was stationary at the lights seemed to now be in such a hurry. Little did he know, I always go that fast. :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    Lusk Doyle wrote: »
    I can't wait for the day when someone comes on here to "rant" or muse mildly about some sh1t you do!

    A buffalo on a bike is sure to attract attention eventually, it's only a matter of time before Joe Duffy is on the case with his army of phone-happy eejits to have a moan: "I seen it Joe, in the city centre of all places Joe. 'Twas definitely a buffalo. No Joe, I've not seen a cow before, I don't go beyond the city limits sure 'tis all horses, carts, and sh1t beyond that, but it wasn't a cow Joe, no. I'm telling' ya Joe, 'twas hew-age Joe, fookin' HEWWW-AGE! And on a bike Joe. A disgrace Joe, a bleeding' disgrace! I'm all for fairness Joe, but hanging's too good for 'em".


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    As it approaches time to cycle home I'm recalling the traumatic events of my commute in this morning. I ended up behind a buy whose trousers and top were not on speaking terms, and even his belt failed at doing anything as useful as keeping his trousers above the arse area. There was far more flesh on display than my stomach was comfortable with, and he was hairy, and it was raining, all of which made for a bad mix.

    I may have to change my commute route on the way home, I'm not sure my eyes could survive another encounter with Mr Wet Hairy Arse Crack. :(


  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,337 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Overtaken by a BMW who hooked a left immediately afterwards, hit brakes and didn't collide but since they were in such a rush to get into a closed estate, I followed it in in case there was an emergency.

    I came round the 2nd corner to it pulled in, i camely pulled alongside and waved in the window, a lady rolled it down and I started with:

    "I am not giving out but in future it would be alot safer if you waited the 3 seconds for me to pass a junction before you turn overtake me and turn in"

    Much to my shock she instantly apologised, said she wasn't sure what had happened, she seen me as she had started the turn, panicked and sped off. She had not seen me until after the (incomplete) overtake?!? She looked shook and seemed to realise her error so nothing else to say really.

    I have a edelux dynamo front light (one of the brightest lights you can buy) and a Cateye rear 530 (pretty decent, I can assure you).

    I left, I wasn't sure what to say, she admitted fault but says she couldn't see me, I mean really, think to yourself, should you really be on the road in charge of such a vehicle.


  • Administrators, Social & Fun Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 74,773 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Beasty


    CramCycle wrote: »
    Much to my shock she instantly apologised, said she wasn't sure what had happened, she seen me as she had started the turn, panicked and sped off. She had not seen me until after the (incomplete) overtake?!? She looked shook and seemed to realise her error so nothing else to say really.
    I've had one incident like this (cutting across me to take a roundabout exit) - the driver apologised profusely, but appeared almost in a state of shock - not sure if it was genuine, or an attempt to feign shock in the hope it would stop me having a go at her

    TBH, once a driver apologises I feel I've got my point over and will leave it there.

    Funnily enough though, I had a bus overtake me going up a hill with a sharp bend this morning - he had to pull in quickly when a car came in the other direction - fortunately I eased off and he just got in without getting too close to me. He clearly knew he was in the wrong, and put his hazard lights on to acknowledge it - once he did that I just let it go.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,365 ✭✭✭Lusk Doyle


    CramCycle wrote: »
    Overtaken by a BMW who hooked a left immediately afterwards, hit brakes and didn't collide but since they were in such a rush to get into a closed estate, I followed it in in case there was an emergency.

    I came round the 2nd corner to it pulled in, i camely pulled alongside and waved in the window, a lady rolled it down and I started with:

    "I am not giving out but in future it would be alot safer if you waited the 3 seconds for me to pass a junction before you turn overtake me and turn in"

    Much to my shock she instantly apologised, said she wasn't sure what had happened, she seen me as she had started the turn, panicked and sped off. She had not seen me until after the (incomplete) overtake?!? She looked shook and seemed to realise her error so nothing else to say really.

    I have a edelux dynamo front light (one of the brightest lights you can buy) and a Cateye rear 530 (pretty decent, I can assure you).

    I left, I wasn't sure what to say, she admitted fault but says she couldn't see me, I mean really, think to yourself, should you really be on the road in charge of such a vehicle.

    Were your lights on? Apparently there is a fine for not them on or having them at all. I read that somewhere recently...


  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,337 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Lusk Doyle wrote: »
    Were your lights on? Apparently there is a fine for not them on or having them at all. I read that somewhere recently...

    My lights are always on, there is not always someone home but they are always on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    I was dropping my car off to be serviced this morning so I put my bike in the boot so I could cycle from service centre to work. I drove, and then cycled, over routes that I wouldn't normally travel at commute times. I'm largely used to the nonsense antics of people on my usual commute routes, but there were a few moments on this morning's routes that really had me wondering whether there was anything other than vacant space between the ears of some people. Some people are clearly bonkers mad.

    What is even more mad though is the cost of servicing a car. The car is in good condition generally, but I could buy a half decent bike for what it's going to cost me to have some seemingly minor little issues resolved (A crack in an indicator casing? I don't care. It'll fail the NCT? What?). Guess I'll have to hold off on having it fitted with 4x carbon rims and 5x electronic gears until my bank balance has recovered.


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,780 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    doozerie wrote: »
    What is even more mad though is the cost of servicing a car. The car is in good condition generally, but I could buy a half decent bike for what it's going to cost me to have some seemingly minor little issues resolved (A crack in an indicator casing? I don't care. It'll fail the NCT? What?)

    I normally don't bother getting it serviced for the NCT and I would take with a pinch of salt anything a service centre says to me. Run it through NCT, and if it fails, they will tell you why, and you can get it fixed then.

    I had a tiny hole in front light one time, not even the size of a pen, but it had a crack around it and also had condensation on the inside, which was the real issue. Guy in NCT (fair play to him) told me to fill it with silicon and it would be fine. So I filled with Silicon, smothed it off with a bit of fine sandpaper, and ran the extension lead out of the house with the missuses hair dryer (I don't need one:)) and pointed that at the light for 10 or 15 minutes till the condensation cleared.

    Neighbours sent for the men in white coats to bring me to Dundrum when they thought I was after giving my car a haircut! A bit of embarrasement saved me a few hundred sheets and there wasn't even a charge when I went back to NCT as it was only cosmetic.


  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,337 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    stevieob wrote: »
    I normally don't bother getting it serviced for the NCT and I would take with a pinch of salt anything a service centre says to me. Run it through NCT, and if it fails, they will tell you why, and you can get it fixed then.

    Same here, i'm reasonably handy with a car but not super, I'll service most myself, look over anything I'd want fixed myself and then drop it in. Last time they failed me on one rear light being too bright and the handbrake not working. When I asked what he meant he showed me that you had to pull it up the whole way for it to be completely secure (it was fine in my opinion, I just think he was a bit of a pansy on purpose). It did work, but 25 minutes adjusting the cable and then 10euro for a set of lights from Lidl. I replaced the light that was not as bright so they matched and that was that. They did charge me approx 30euro though as it was not a visual only check.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    What is it with Irish bus lanes, they just seem not to work at all in the rain. On a dry day you encounter mostly buses and taxis in them. On a wet day every other motorist, and usually the cranky ones, seems to be in them.

    Given our climate we really should invest in weather-resistant bus lanes. …and given our culture, we should probably invest in the gob****e-motorist -resistant variety.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,037 ✭✭✭buffalo


    Was cycling home along the N11 on Saturday in the dark, traffic is heavy, but moving well. Little car comes speeding along, weaving in and out of the bus lane. There's not even any traffic in the bus lane, which makes it even more erratic - lane changing for the sake of it.

    Couple of km later, see the same car pulled over at the side of the road, and an unmarked Garda car beside it - I can see the blue lights through the windscreen of the first car. Sweet justice!

    Then I realised that the first car is the unmarked Garda car, and he's pulled over someone else. Sweet justice?


    Also, on an unrelated note, just listening to an interview on Drivetime regarding the current debate on abortion legislation.
    Interviewee: "The X case was a very complicated judgement. I don't think we should rush to legislation."
    Interviewer: "It's been twenty years."
    Interviewee: "..."


  • Registered Users Posts: 31,001 ✭✭✭✭Lumen


    buffalo wrote: »
    "The X case was a very complicated judgement"

    Only if you're a simpleton.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    Lumen wrote: »
    Only if you're a simpleton.

    We have plenty of those. 'Tis due to the simpleton amnesty of yesteryear, they were all allowed to crawl out of the woodwork and become active members of society without so much as a license or a simpleton tax.

    Being simpletons they can't think of anything better to do than write moany letters to newspapers. phone Joe Duffy, and participate in discussion programs where they don't know what is being discussed but by christ they'll instantly form a strongly held view on the topic based entirely around the question of "what would your stereotypical taxi driver say/do?".


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭doozerie


    This talk of simpletons reminds me of a conversation I had on Saturday. There was a community "fair", basically a jumble sale, on at the back of Marley Park. I decided to go there with my daughter. Parking options are limited around there so I bundled her into her buggy and walked the 30-odd minutes to get there, it was a nice day for a walk. Our route brought us along a twisty country-ish road, just wide enough for 2 cars, and with a pavement on one side only.

    It wasn't long before we encountered the first car parked on the pavement (sure, why would they park it on the road, that would just get in the way like), this one parked outside one of the few houses on that stretch of road. I barely managed to squeeze past, almost taking a mudflap with me as it snagged on a wheel of the buggy. That was followed by a cluster of cars parked on the pavement which required me to walk on the road, towards a blind bend. I was pissed by then and fantasising about various means of converting such cars to something resembling pancakes.

    We passed a massive house which has dogs that, despite having an area of land the size of a small country to run around in, like to hang around by the railings and bark and snarl at people walking by. My daughter hates it, personally I don't mind the dogs themselves but have strong feelings about people who keep dogs that they allow to go mental - such people don't deserve dogs. Anyway, up jumps a dog and scares my daughter, again. I ran to get past the house but amongst a line of cars parked half on the pavement I encounter an SUV that is parked further in than the others. I have to stop and try to squeeze past it, the alternative being to go back to the start of the line of cars and walk on the road again, for about 20m, towards any oncoming traffic on yet another blind bend. There is barely room to get past, and the dog makes the most of our slow progress to get in another few aggressive yelps. Now I'm well and truly pissed off. I think it was probably obvious from a distance, my body language had switched to murder-death-kill mode.

    Just as we got past the SUV its lights flashed. Someone had remotely unlocked it. Right then, I thought. Two well-dressed women and some young kids crossed the road from the community centre and walked towards us - some stereotypes just fit. Yes, it was their SUV. I pointed out the fact that they were amongst a bunch of cars that were blocking the pavement. "Yes", they said, "and some people are terrible, they simply leave no room". "No", I said, "*your* SUV is leaving no room and I was almost obliged to walk on the road with my daughter, towards a blind bend". The driver looked incredulous that I should suggest she was one of the "terrible" ones. She seemed to waver between being offended and being quiet, eventually settling for "smug bitch" which she probably thought was a happy medium. "But parking is so tricky around here", she said. I told her I didn't care, and that she could just walk. I might as well have pissed in her latte, the suggestion that she not drive her status symbol was ridiculous. I made another effort to inform her that she was, in fact, an ignorant arsehole. Both women adopted an amused, slightly condescending, look. When I told her I'd accept an apology but that it was clear she wasn't going to offer one, she walked off, still smiling.

    I'm not really sure what I expected, probably some kind of acknowledgement that it's not really acceptable to park wherever you like just to save yourself some effort regardless of the difficulties and dangers your actions pose for others. What I got was very much an attitude that it really is acceptable and I have no doubt that the same person will do the very same again without a second thought. Horrible women.


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