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What's the etiquette here??

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Just had my first movement but I don't know if it was nature or the Dulcolax.


  • Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭padohaodha


    I love this😂😂😂brilliant😂😂😂


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,017 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    take another half


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Gooey Looey


    Wow, moving this thread is a bit sh1t considering we were told last week that JohnnyFlash passed away and this was one of his most memorable posts for me


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Do you've any idea how f*cking annoying it is to write a 400-word post about a unique and interesting subject and have it moved to a thread based on an anecdote which in all probability never actually happened? The mod took some brain laxatives before moving this. They aren't the same subject.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 215 ✭✭2018na


    Wow, moving this thread is a bit sh1t considering we were told last week that JohnnyFlash passed away and this was one of his most memorable posts for me

    He didn’t actually pass away but please could someone confirm this. I thought some of his posts to be absolutely fantastic. Some wordsmith he is


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Tiny things they were.

    I had to eat them off the palm of my hand like some sort of hungry tramp rather than put them in my own mouth because they're difficult to hold. They're about the size of the head on a matchstick. Who knew that something so little could do so much damage. Well, that's the hope.

    As of now they haven't done anything. I haven't so much as passed gas since taking them and we're going on nearly four hours now, but the leaflet says I'll get some action between six and eight hours.

    And I can't lie, I'm a little excited. I've never taken laxatives before, so I don't much about what to expect apart from the obvious, but I do know there's a hell of a lot of water and shyte in my system which needs to be washed out by tomorrow afternoon. There's a very small get-together - and I do mean very small, like five people and three of which are from the same household - in my cousin's place for the Ireland match and I've been wanting to wear my lovely 'new' shirt for about six months. Problem is, I'm carrying a bit of timber and if I sit down in the shirt, the buttons on the lower half will pop off and potentially take somebody's eye out. The hope is that the shirt will fit over my belly a little better. I do the same cleanse on a regular basis and it's a lot healthier. You just abstain from carbs and sodium and pump yourself full of water and somewhat contradictory, you drop a lot of water weight. But it takes a couple days and I've only got what, 19 hours or something.

    I've had the first fart just there, literally this second by the way. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come. Hopefully it's the equivalent of a bugle noise before a big battle. My bathroom is the battlefield. And with a bit of luck my arse will feel like it sat on the sharp end of a bayonet for a few hours but, as I said, it's worth it. In this day and age it's important for men and women to get any sense of positive welbeing that they can and I - I think - will get some from fitting into this shirt.

    C'mon Ireland. C'mon Dulcolax.

    Oxtail soup on the way. Don't stray too far from the "potty".


  • Registered Users Posts: 798 ✭✭✭3d4life


    mfceiling wrote: »
    Some douche bag has started a new thread on AH about taking 2 dulcolmax tablets cause he needs to clean his insides out.
    I mean we have some of the greatest minds on matters of the faecel issues and he goes solo without even checking in here.

    The hell is wrong with people?


    Dumb thing to do when he could have gone for Moviprep or Picolax


    Some People :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Gooey Looey


    2018na wrote: »
    He didn’t actually pass away but please could someone confirm this. I thought some of his posts to be absolutely fantastic. Some wordsmith he is

    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Should have just bought a punnet of pears, Aldi might have them at 49c.

    4 or 5 of those boys, will have the leather cheerio straining to hold the 10bar head that'll rapidly build up. Youtmr guts will be creaking like the hull in Das Boot, just before you flick that pressure release valve.

    Thsts assuming you make it; go an extra pear "for luck", will see your effective Discharge Coefficient change, with potential catastrophic consequences on the liquid viscosity.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 215 ✭✭2018na


    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155
    I’ve searched rip.ie all week for someone fitting his description and thankfully i can’t find any matches. I really really hope it’s not true


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,017 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    .


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    So very anti-climactic so far. I've had two sh*ts and the first one was probably the wrap from this afternoon. We're over seven hours in and I'm considering popping two more if there isn't serious movement over the next hour or so.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,875 ✭✭✭Edgware


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    So very anti-climactic so far. I've had two sh*ts and the first one was probably the wrap from this afternoon. We're over seven hours in and I'm considering popping two more if there isn't serious movement over the next hour or so.

    Leave it bake for a few hours


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 355 ✭✭46 Long


    Please, J, do the world a favour and do not flush them. They don’t “break down”, they still cause blockages and they are terrible for the environment.

    Throw them into a little bin beside the toilet, like a Greek.

    Certainly not. No one wants to leave the remnants of their crimes against common decency festering away in a grotty little bin beside the toilet. I flush them and enjoy the sparkling cleanliness of the bathroom and my undercarriage. I've had my fun Emmet, and that's all that matters.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,457 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    jk23 wrote: »
    Lucozade and surprisingly silvermints will get you flowing like a volcano!

    No point in messing around. A Lucozade enema is the job here. With a bag of baking soda stirred in. You'll be besmirching the hopper in jig time...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    I ate chilli a couple of days ago - the farts yesterday were on a par with Guinness and cabbage. Crop dusted downstairs at home. The thing is, I know that the bowels need a detox - I haven’t had a proper blow out in months if not years. Any suggestions for fast and effective relief?


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,936 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    46 Long wrote: »
    Certainly not. No one wants to leave the remnants of their crimes against common decency festering away in a grotty little bin besides the toilet. I flush them and enjoy the sparkling cleanliness of the bathroom and my undercarriage. I've had my fun Emmet, and that's all that matters.

    Filthy kernt.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,814 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155

    Dafuq?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Two dumps. No food in 16 hours. Shirt didn't fit.

    Conclusions:

    Didn't take enough Dulcolax.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,884 ✭✭✭Tzardine


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Two dumps. No food in 16 hours. Shirt didn't fit.

    Conclusions:

    Didn't take enough Dulcolax.

    I told you. 5 is the sweet spot.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Tzardine wrote: »
    I told you. 5 is the sweet spot.

    Amen. Only taking two was a stupid idea in hindsight. Maybe the idea itself was a stupid idea in hindsight but I had good intentions.


  • Registered Users Posts: 33,650 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato
    Restaurant at the End of the Universe


    Taking laxatives to attempt to fit into a shirt is intensely stupid and demeans this fine thread.

    It took a while but I don't mind. How does my body look in this light?



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Well you haven't seen this shirt Mr Desiato.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155

    4msid6.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,131 ✭✭✭akelly02


    Is johnnyflash actually dead?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 348 ✭✭Trouser Snake


    He's gone the way of the Flutt unfortunately.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    akelly02 wrote: »
    Is johnnyflash actually dead?

    The username is .... I'm sure he's still posting though ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,984 ✭✭✭Slideways


    I have a very itchy ring piece. So far have avoided getting stuck in with the finger. Double checked there wasn’t some dried poo flakes that was causing it, TP came away spotless but I’m nearly at the stage of dragging my arse along the ground like an old Collie dog.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    Slideways wrote: »
    I have a very itchy ring piece. So far have avoided getting stuck in with the finger. Double checked there wasn’t some dried poo flakes that was causing it, TP came away spotless but I’m nearly at the stage of dragging my arse along the ground like an old Collie dog.

    I get some terrible stingray. Sudocream will give you some relief but more than likely it’s a diet problem.


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