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Awkward Erections

  • 21-03-2011 7:56pm
    #1
    cosmicfart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭


    Ever have one? Is there some sort of female version? i tell ya having a penis isnt easy. My story today begins with a female work collegue who is in the premier league of babes, the type of women that just gives a penis a mind of its own! We were talking and not for the first time el jonny began his 'ascent' and I was powerless to stop him. luckily i had the defence of a desk to hide my shame but that didnt stop other bodily tell tale signs I thought were giving the game away, like mad hand gestures pointing to other things in the room, anything to take her possible gaze away from my grochal area! I been told this is the best way of counteracting this phenomena...?...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kikMgnw1wrM


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,237 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    Bet you have other premature awkward situations to.


  • #3
    Kimono-Girl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Kimono-Girl


    oh yeah all the time! :P


  • #4
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Girls get "wide ons" (™ Wibbs) and slide off our chairs ;)


  • #5
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.


  • #6
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,237 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    Kiera wrote: »
    Girls get "wide ons" (™ Wibbs) and slide off our chairs ;)

    This one really me laugh a bit to much.


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  • #7
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Its only awkward if you make it awkward.


  • #8
    eco2live
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭eco2live


    Yes there is a female version. Its when a fanjo bangs together like a cricket and can be heard for miles. Very embarrassing for the ladies.


  • #9
    Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 2,689 ✭✭✭Vain


    Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts..



  • #10
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,334 ✭✭✭RichieC


    Tuck it behind your belt until it subsides.


  • #11
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Sonics2k wrote: »
    This one really me laugh a bit to much.

    Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!


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  • #12
    eco2live
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭eco2live


    snyper wrote: »
    Its only awkward if you make it awkward.

    Yes you should celebrate it. Maybe tie a string to the top with some bunting and invite other members of the office to dance round it.


  • #13
    Buceph
    Registered Users Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Buceph


    brummytom wrote: »
    The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.

    Wear normal pants, not tracksuits.


  • #14
    eco2live
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭eco2live


    You can tell when a girl gets a wide on. If you are talking to her and you hear a slight echo. Then you know she likes you.

    Well that and she might be twiddling her hair while talking to you. ;)


  • #15
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Buceph wrote: »
    Wear normal pants, not tracksuits.
    I don't wear tracksuits, ever.


    Quite lightweight jeans move in the same way


  • #16
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users Posts: 29,294 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    brummytom wrote: »
    The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.

    Ah yes. The oul awkard walk of shame offthe bus, bag/jacket placed in front you, trying to look innocent.

    :)


  • #17
    eco2live
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭eco2live


    I don't know how old you are but if you are over 50 then I have some advice for you.

    1. Never waste a hard on.

    2. Never trust a fart.

    :D


  • #18
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,237 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    Kiera wrote: »
    Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!

    haha, not helping the laughter!

    I swear next time I'm out that'll all I'm going to think of in every bar. Could make for an interesting evening.


  • #19
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Had it happen when getting a massage once..........


  • #20
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,542 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Kiera wrote: »
    Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!
    A gentle rocking motion works best, or you tend to leave a trail like a snail......:p


  • #21
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Why are people always going on about the Spire, let it go already people!


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  • #22
    strokemyclover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭strokemyclover


    That's the good thing about recessionary times: there's no longer any building work with scaffolding on the streets for pedestrians to tip toe through anymore....so the answer to your question OP is no, I don't encounter awkward erections much these days.


  • #23
    FTGFOP
    Registered Users Posts: 2,389 ✭✭✭FTGFOP


    MCMLXXV wrote: »
    Had it happen when getting a massage once..........

    Masseuse or Masseur?

    "It moved, Jerry!"


  • #24
    phill106
    Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui9C5KOmnAc


  • #25
    MonTheBiffy
    Registered Users Posts: 189 ✭✭MonTheBiffy


    Its cruel when you get one while saying mass on a Sunday morning, ya get awful looks


  • #26
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,334 ✭✭✭RichieC


    post tits, I have one now!


  • #27
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    FTGFOP wrote: »
    Masseuse or Masseur?

    "It moved, Jerry!"

    Masseuse, but the ligitimate kind! ;)


  • #28
    MonTheBiffy
    Registered Users Posts: 189 ✭✭MonTheBiffy


    Here ya go http://www.blather.net/zeitgeist/nude_brian_cowen_toilet.jpg


  • #29
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,045 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    cosmicfart wrote: »
    Ever have one? Is there some sort of female version? i tell ya having a penis isnt easy. My story today begins with a female work collegue who is in the premier league of babes, the type of women that just gives a penis a mind of its own! We were talking and not for the first time el jonny began his 'ascent' and I was powerless to stop him. luckily i had the defence of a desk to hide my shame but that didnt stop other bodily tell tale signs I thought were giving the game away, like mad hand gestures pointing to other things in the room, anything to take her possible gaze away from my grochal area! I been told this is the best way of counteracting this phenomena...?...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kikMgnw1wrM

    No no no. The problem is you're trying to hide it. The key is the pelvic thrust. Remember, with awesome power, comes awesome responsibility.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8kDsM0M-vg


  • #30
    Griffen262
    Registered Users Posts: 286 ✭✭Griffen262


    Mass :(


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  • #31
    Up-n-atom!
    Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Up-n-atom!


    Yup, get 'em all the time;)

    Seriously though, what's with the female versions? Side on?! Suction cup?!:eek: I think I need someone to discreetly take me aside and explain (or, alternatively, someone just draw me diagram:p)


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