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Asking work colleague for money for giving lift to work

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Comments

  • #62
    Seamai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭Seamai


    I certainly wouldn't be asking for anything if I was the one driving. For a few years I used to get a lift home in the evening from a colleague, she'd go a bit out of her way, she wouldn't be the sort of person who would expect anything but I really appreciated it as using the cross city buses could mean arriving home an hour later.
    Every so often I'd buy her a nice bottle of wine or some other little gift.


  • #63
    irelandrover
    Registered Users Posts: 3,678 ✭✭✭irelandrover


    Basq wrote: »
    But what I'm saying is monetary gain not going to fix any of the above..

    .. to fix that, you need to stop picking the person up entirely.

    But it makes it a lot easier to accept if you get some money for the inconvenience. Or even feel that the other person appreciates what you are doing rather than just feeling used.


  • #64
    Doctors room ghost
    Registered Users Posts: 4,798 ✭✭✭Doctors room ghost


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    It sounds like you've built up resentment already so it won't end good.
    Just alter your plans for a while and he'll stop expecting.
    Leave earlier or later a few times. Go shopping after work etc.
    Anyhow with CoVid now you have the ultimate excuse to get him off your back. Tell him you don't feel comfortable not abiding by the 2m rule.
    These arrangements get messy, not just the financial aspect of it.
    There's the insurance issue for starters.
    There's also the feeling of being tied to his routine and not being able to do your own thing of you want to make plans.






    Or instead of altering plans and changing your ways to not offend someone, you could simply say find your own way to work anymore you miserable,stingy, penny pinching leech and drive past at the same time every morning waving at them.
    They’ve taken your kindness for weakness.
    There will be another hard luck story soon and a want on them for a loan.
    Rev up and fcuk off is the response you are looking for op


  • #65
    gifted
    Registered Users Posts: 4,829 ✭✭✭gifted


    You could suggest to him that you're going to start looking for other people to car pool.....ah feck it......start leaving earlier or as someone else pointed out start going a different route home......after a week or two he'll start finding another person to take advantage of....I knew someone like this before....he gave the impression he was doing me a favour by sitting in my car.


  • #66
    ChelseaRentBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 474 ✭✭ChelseaRentBoy


    I wouldn't have a problem asking at all. If they are offended or put out by it then they can buy their own mode of transport.


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  • #67
    the_pen_turner
    Registered Users Posts: 7,505 ✭✭✭the_pen_turner


    Find a friend or relation that needs a lift for a week or 2. Then have them insist on paying for your petrol when you pull into the petrol station.
    Have them say something like I insist you are saving me money and time , it's the least I can do for what your doing for me.

    If they dont get that hint there is no hope so wean them off by having other plans


  • #68
    FMG
    Registered Users Posts: 172 ✭✭FMG


    Is he a friend, has he ever helped you in a work/ situation.
    Is the craic/ banter good on the commute.
    Is he early for his lift.
    Is he someone you enjoy sitting down for a lunch or break with ?

    If he helps shorten the journey and is a work buddy, then he surely will understand when you ask him outright for €10 or €20 a week.
    If he's a scrounger then best to let him know your done being a fool.
    Be straight up, ask for the cash starting the same week and let him decide if he wants a lift.


  • #69
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Pilot-Leonard-and-Sheldon-in-car.jpg


  • #70
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,384 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    It’s surprising how regular this topic comes up on boards. What’s not surprising is the resentment it builds up and the fact people are willing to take the piss when allowed do so unchecked. The world is full of this sponges who have a homing instinct for soft touches like the OP.
    There are any number of ways to tackle this all mentioned several times by other posters.
    Least confrontational would be to say you’re altering your routine (it’s absolutely none of their business). Going to the gym, calling on a sick relative, family reasons etc


  • #71
    Basq
    Registered Users Posts: 43,774 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    Alf Veedersane wrote: »
    The OP specifically said that its not inconvenient.
    I put “inconvienience” in quotes for just that reason.. it’s not an inconvenience so why ask for money?

    At the end the day, the OP is a big boy and can make up his own mind.. but personally if I wasn’t going out of my way to pick up said passenger and it wasn’t affecting my day-to-day (with regards home/work life) - I’d have no issue with giving a lift au gratis.

    But that’s just me.. everyone is different!


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  • #72
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,384 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    the_pen_turner wrote: »
    Find a friend or relation that needs a lift for a week or 2. Then have them insist on paying for your petrol when you pull into the petrol station.
    Have them say something like I insist you are saving me money and time , it's the least I can do for what your doing for me.

    If they dont get that hint there is no hope so wean them off by having other plans

    Something tells me they’ll be very slow getting that particular hint!


  • #73
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Atlantic Dawn wrote: »
    I'd never ask but after them saving €500 plus and me not getting anything not even say a case of beer for €25 (5% of their savings) I'd tell them I have now moved and commuting from Belize and will be unable to pick them up each morning.

    Did he/she tell you that they have saved that amount or are you estimating what it has saved them? Have they got a car and simply not using it because they don’t have to?

    Are you in a position to cycle to work some times? I personally would leave them stranded a few days every week. Use various excuses that car wouldn’t start, have to leave early or have to go opposite direction after work etc

    Or simply tell them that your not happy that they haven’t even offered petrol money and that your ending the arrangement. Dont let it eat you up inside, be proactive and do what’s right for you first and foremost.

    If you can’t/won’t tell them your not happy simply text them an hour or 30 minutes before work and say “I won’t be able to pick you up today” and leave it at that. If they ask why, ignore them, it’s none of their business. If they ask at work just say something came up and leave it at that. If they ask for a lift home say your not going that way today and again leave it at that. The next day just go to work and don’t collect them or tell them that your not giving them a lift. They’ll soon get the message and if they ask you about it, tell them you feel used as they have never once offered to chip in for petrol money and say nothing else. Let them explain their way out of it if they wish but don’t argue or back down. That’s your reason and they have to remedy it if they want a lift, let them come to that realisation, don’t offer a lift in exchange for petrol money.


  • #74
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,356 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    What age is the op and the person getting the life? A few petrol vouchers now and then is the way to go, not money and working it out exactly to the penny

    The person taking the life might not be mean but instead, lacks the social skill and cop on to make sure they contribute something every now and then.


  • #75
    Meeoow
    Registered Users Posts: 620 ✭✭✭Meeoow


    Tell him you want x amount every week. You have extra fuel costs due to extra weight in the car. Running a car is expensive.
    I gave people lifts before, and got fuel money off them. They saved far more than I ever benefitted. I also gave a couple of people lifts short term who had car trouble, and I wouldn't dream of taking money off them.


  • #76
    CBear1993
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭CBear1993


    Every night now before you lift him, eat and drink the most gaseous foods possible. Tins of Guinness, order an indian, hell; even chew on a few cloves of garlic in the morning.

    That little thorn in your side won’t be long changing his mind about how he gets to work if you’re dropping absolute clangers the whole journey. Before he gets in I recommend drumming up a real stonker for him With all your bowel-y forces. Every time he asks you if you smell something, smile psychopathically and say no, and turn up the heat full blast. If he tries to put the window down have them locked before he gets in.


  • #77
    Bythefire
    Registered Users Posts: 69 ✭✭Bythefire


    If your workplace has been closed, say nothing until they contact you for a lift. A simple "I won't be able to now with Covid" & leave it at that.

    I often give people a lift from work who don't have cars and do go out of my way. There's one person who started to expect a lift, waiting for 10 minutes until I finish etc. A few times I waited around after my shift or left a few minutes before that person. They soon got the message!


  • #78
    CosmicFool
    Registered Users Posts: 492 ✭✭CosmicFool


    Just to add. You offered him a lift to work, he didn't ask for it and now you are begrudging him because he's saving money? If you don't want to give him a. Lift anymore then just simply stop.


  • #79
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    road_high wrote: »
    It’s surprising how regular this topic comes up on boards. What’s not surprising is the resentment it builds up and the fact people are willing to take the piss when allowed do so unchecked. The world is full of this sponges who have a homing instinct for soft touches like the OP.
    There are any number of ways to tackle this all mentioned several times by other posters.
    Least confrontational would be to say you’re altering your routine (it’s absolutely none of their business). Going to the gym, calling on a sick relative, family reasons etc

    God almighty, why are people such moaning martyrs. Yes yes, least confrontational, but absolutely most chicken-shlt cowardly approach. What a sneaky thing to do to avoid a straightforward conversation.


    OP, You would like a contribution towards petrol for car-pooling. Ask for it. Don't ask, don't get.


    Ignore these sniveling miserable ways to whinge and wheedle out of it. I'm embarrassed for the eejits even advising this pathetic course of action. Bare-faced lying as a solution? How is that socially acceptable? :rolleyes:


    And for gods sake don't stand for insulting the passenger who hasn't even been informed the arrangement isn't working for the driver.


  • #80
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,792 ✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    Some good advice on here OP.

    Outright Lie/Bullsh1t/change of plans etc.......get a friend involved to start the ball rolling re getting payment for your time, fuel, responsibility etc,,,

    All that surely has to be an inconvenience. The cute/ baby steps approach might be the way forward - sort of get the topic of payment shoehorned in even if you have to be devious about it.

    This bloke is taking major liberties.

    Some day you may reach boiling point and go postal on the mofo. That's no good. Then he gets the sympathy and you're the veritable ****.

    Not saying that would happen but everyone has their limit.

    Maybe the chap has read this thread and has sussed it's about him and the situation is rectified.

    Best of luck.


  • #81
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,550 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Basq wrote: »
    I put “inconvienience” in quotes for just that reason.. it’s not an inconvenience so why ask for money?

    At the end the day, the OP is a big boy and can make up his own mind.. but personally if I wasn’t going out of my way to pick up said passenger and it wasn’t affecting my day-to-day (with regards home/work life) - I’d have no issue with giving a lift au gratis.

    But that’s just me.. everyone is different!

    The OP is facilitating this person making a significant saving. They don't have an issue with the lift but the lack of courtesy from the person receiving the lift.

    Most people wouldn't have an issue with giving a lift au gratis. Every day for 4 months without thanks while the person getting the lift makes a significant saving? Most people might feel taken for granted.

    Most people would offer something given the benefit they are getting from it, savings and convenience


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  • #82
    CBear1993
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭CBear1993


    Play Taylor swift album’s from start to now every day on repeat.


  • #83
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,384 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    pwurple wrote: »
    God almighty, why are people such moaning martyrs. Yes yes, least confrontational, but absolutely most chicken-shlt cowardly approach. What a sneaky thing to do to avoid a straightforward conversation.


    OP, You would like a contribution towards petrol for car-pooling. Ask for it. Don't ask, don't get.


    Ignore these sniveling miserable ways to whinge and wheedle out of it. I'm embarrassed for the eejits even advising this pathetic course of action. Bare-faced lying as a solution? How is that socially acceptable? :rolleyes:


    And for gods sake don't stand for insulting the passenger who hasn't even been informed the arrangement isn't working for the driver.

    Well if it was me it would be the direct approach and this situation would never have even started but the OP has landed themselves in an awkward situation and white lies may be the easiest way out for them. Clearly the OP has a problem here and there are several ways to skin a cat


  • #84
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users Posts: 3,682 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    Been in this situation before and didnt request money as I knew him really well, guy didnt live en route either so required detours.

    It was saving him a substantial amount of money and time plus extra time in bed whereas Id have to be up 30 or so minutes earlier just to take account of the detours.

    Eventually he got a car and started splitting the driving....all grand....although I did throw him a few quid or get coffee/lunch on those days.

    A few years later he got rid of the car....apparently "there was no point both of us paying for one if we were going to the same place" :pac: He now lived 500m away from me.

    Kept collecting him everyday, no money offered. I got a pain in my bollox and said it to him. Thought all was good, stopped in the garage and stuck €20 in the car and he went into the garage. He came out and got back in and I hopped into the car and started to drive off. He says "are you not going to pay for the diesel?". So after our talk, he went into the garage and bought a sandwich and a tea and walked back out. I assumed he was paying for the fuel!

    That was the end of it and I started going into work 2 hours early or leaving late or saying I had to go somewhere after work etc. Used to drive by him at the bus stop then.

    Its you that ends up paying OP. It all good if they live en route....except.....you are the one paying for tax, insurance, fuel, the car, maintenance, NCT, etc. They are just leeching.


  • #85
    AndyBoBandy
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭AndyBoBandy


    There's 2 possible solutions here.

    1: Start hinting that you may stop driving to work as the costs are too much, specifically the fuel cost, and if he doesn't bite, move to option 2;

    2: Tell the colleague that you will stop driving to work and start using public transport going forwards, and that you won't be collecting him anymore. Of course then when he see's your car in the carpark, just provide some BS excuse that you didn't have the bus fare, or were running a little late and just took the car as a stop gap. This option might still mean you have to provide the guy a lift home in the evenings, but just tell him you're running an errand in a different direction than home, and do this at least 2-3 times in the first week so as to make yourself unreliable for the lift home, and he'll soon hopefully get the message.


    You never know, he might meet the partner of his dreams on the bus/train, and it'll be the best thing that ever happened him! He'll get married, have some (more?) kids, buy a nice little cottage down the country, become a honey bee keeper, and live a wonderful life. One day he'll be in the local newsagent buying his OH that bar of chocolate they love so much, and he'll decide on the spur to buy a lotto ticket, and win €2.4m from it, and you'll never hear from him again.

    So doing this is actually helping him!!*

    *It's not really, but by thinking this, will make it all feel less bad!


  • #86
    john9876
    Registered Users Posts: 340 ✭✭john9876


    Stop at a petrol station every morning for a few weeks, only put a few quid in. See if they get the hint


  • #87
    gifted
    Registered Users Posts: 4,829 ✭✭✭gifted


    Hey OP....He's not a privileged white is he? ....because then you have a whole different ballgame..lol lol


  • #88
    Hoboo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    gifted wrote: »
    Hey OP....He's not a privileged white is he? ....because then you have a whole different ballgame..lol lol

    Tumbleweeds


  • #89
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,384 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    john9876 wrote: »
    Stop at a petrol station every morning for a few weeks, only put a few quid in. See if they get the hint

    It doesn’t sound like they will...


  • #90
    AndyBoBandy
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭AndyBoBandy


    john9876 wrote: »
    Stop at a petrol station every morning for a few weeks

    and just sit there, at the pump, in silence, and do absolutely nothing.

    When he finally breaks silence and says what are you waiting for?

    Tell him your waiting for him to get off his ar$e and put some juice in the tank!


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  • #91
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,329 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    As someone said you're already resenting this guy and a few quid isn't going to make that go away. Change your routine, go shopping etc for a while to get out of the obligation for starters.


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