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Gran Canaria

  • 09-07-2001 10:23pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Proposal to stay 2 weeks in the south of the island 'lads only'-style holiday.

    Has anyone been there recently? Recommendations as to what to do / not to do. Beaches, trips, clubs?

    Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Playa Del Ingles in Gran Can is a dump of a place, we stayed in this really good Budget chalet kinda joint though. My towel actually made it into the Budget Brochures for Winter and Summer 2002 ! My claim to fame. They said my great body would have been too distracting !

    The food is good there, loads of great Steak Houses (put on 3/4 of a stone while there ), the Drink is crap crap crap, vodka = petrol, get hammered before you go out and you're grand. Drink from the supermarkets is soooooooooo cheap.

    Gran Canaria is a duty free Island which is nice. Watch out for the African ladies who wish to shake your hand as they snap a friendhip bracelet on your hand which u can't get off and then they demand money for it then. Open your wallet and they'll nick it, happened to some idiot girl while there, she was warned by the tour guide.

    Playa Del Ingles is very tacky but has loads of shops and everything. Bars and Nightclubs are so so, beach is good enough.

    The weather is very very hot, we were there last September and it reached 40 degrees for a few days. Gran Can is the hottest of the Camary Islands.

    Watch out for some of the glass bottom boat tours as they are pure shíte. Especially the one that ends up in Domingos bar. Domingo is a local celebrity in his own mind. He has no singing abilities but that doesn't stop him hogging the Karaoke machine, his version of Robbie Williams' Angels is err crap.

    Have info on Tenerife too if u want it. Electronic goods are so cheap there and in Lanazarote. Sony 3.3mpixel cam was £299 Sterling in Tenerife. Its £800 here in the Sony Centre.

    Thats all I gotta say now, might add more when I can think of more.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Thansk for the warning Yellum - anyone else been.

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭phobos


    Yeah I was there a few years back. I stayed in the Koka appartments.

    A word of warning about the resort is that you tend to share your accomodation with ****roaches (and I didn't even know the buggers could fly). Not to put you off going or anything but it was a real problem in some appartments in the resort.

    There are two main shopping centres in the resort: The Kasbah and The Plaza. The Kasbah has all those African ladies hanging around outside of it, so watch out for them. The Plaza is a nicer centre, close to the beach. In the Plaza you will find a Sony Centre which was dirt cheap when I was over there. Especially for cameras and the likes. When buying electronics shop around, because they are everywhere, and it is not uncommon to find brand names like Sorny and Panasonix (be careful).

    The Irish center is across from the Jardin del Atlantico appartments (or something like that), and near the Green Park (Green x) appartments. The drink over there is really cheap but don't wander far away from the popular pubs. One place I liked was called "Fantasy Island" (Sounds queer I know, but), it's in the Kasbah centre, the drinks there are cheap/good and there's a DJ, it's the kind of place that would get you lively before moving down the resort closer to the clubs.

    I had a good time while I was there before, but to be honest it is just another typical Spanish resort where the ideas is:

    pack them in
    get them drunk & sunburnt
    take their money
    send them home

    Next year I'm going to New York

    ;-phobos-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Yes, I found a quote today "Gran Canaria, and in particular Playa des Ingles is gay Europe's winter capital". Eh, lads ?!??!?!

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,494 ✭✭✭kayos


    Thats a certain part of des ingles called the Juombo Center or something along those lines (also the best shopping spot over there) The rep's pice of advice to us on our first day was if you drop you wallet around there kick it home....

    kayos

    When you get to hell tell them I sent you,
    you'll get a group discount...

    tribes.gameshop.ie


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  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Have tickets ..... have maps ....

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,888 ✭✭✭nanook


    Victor
    this is my advice, playa de inglese is a dump, if yoiu want a good time and especially for the lads you will enjoy playa de inglese but if you want a laugh and to relax during the day and madness at night puerto rico is the spot (it is only 15 from playa de inglese. it does look like a more relaxed area and there is only two clubs in it (i think) but the craic is good, if you go try and locate a scottish dj called will, you will know who i am on about if you meet him, his speciality is "the brew" which is a lethal and extremely potent, also restaurants are good and there is an irish bar there as well (owner is an absolute wkr pardon the language but he is). my recommendation is puerto rico.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭phobos


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
    certain part of des ingles called the Juombo Center
    </font>

    Yeah Kealan, I remember that place. Actually if you could imagine a seedy looking brothel type shopping centre, you're not too far off. I was nervous the whole time in this centre. All I can remember is that on the ground floor (it's all kind of out doors), it had a Playboy store.
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
    Yes, I found a quote today "Gran Canaria, and in particular Playa des Ingles is gay Europe's winter capital". Eh, lads ?!??!?!
    </font>

    Actually most of the Spanish resorts attract a lot of gay tourists. I don;t have a problem with Gay ppl so they didn't bother me. But it can be quite strange having a pint in a pub and two lads mincing eachother in the corner (Oh NO FLAAAAASH BAAAAAACK).

    ;-phobos-)


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,931 Mod ✭✭✭✭Turner


    Stay away from strip clubs, they aint really strip clubs. 5 or 6 of us went in one night and we all only made it out barely with our lives.
    We say one irish fella running out the steps on our way in shouting at us not to go in. But did we listen.
    You will end up with no money and if you go in with no money you will end up dead.

    simple as that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28 shimoda


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Chief---:
    Stay away from strip clubs, they aint really strip clubs. 5 or 6 of us went in one night and we all only made it out barely with our lives.
    </font>

    Thats the difference between a strip club and a tap club. You go in, order a drink, some girl sits down next to you with a drink, talks for five minutes then walks away leaving the drink.
    Bouncer types come over to you and ask "Are you going to pay for the ladies drink?".

    If you're suicidal you say "I didn't ask to buy that?" otherwise you say "right, how much".

    They say "£45".

    You try not to collapse, then pay and leggit while you still have your life.

    (Paraphrased from the latest copy of FHM).

    Shimoda




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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28 shimoda


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by phobos:
    Yeah I was there a few years back. I stayed in the Koka appartments.

    A word of warning about the resort is that you tend to share your accomodation with ****roaches
    </font>

    Damn right, if at all possible DO NOT get a ground floor apartment, it's like a roach cabaret. The koka Apartments are a dump, there was a lane next to the place where residents kept getting mugged by junkies.

    Also, if at all possible don't get sick, I managed to break my arm (somehow?..) and the doctor pumped me full of painkillers while I was still stinking drunk, which did a nice job of turning my heart into a drum machine for speed garage which lasted for a few days.
    Nice.
    Apart from that, there's plenty of cheap drink and women, and the weathers nice.

    Good for a cheap and nasty holiday.

    Otherwise referred to as "Playa del finglas"
    or "Ballymun in the sun".

    Shimoda


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭[fist]Snowball


    Thanks guys, u give me and Victor lots to look forword to wink.gif
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by yellum:
    Playa Del Ingles in Gran Can is a dump of a place, ...</font>

    mmmmm...
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by phobos:
    A word of warning about the resort is that you tend to share your accomodation with ****roaches (and I didn't even know the buggers could fly). </font>

    I lived in Madrid for 6 years, they might be beetles, beetles can fly (so can roches but they r scared of the light). Anyways don't asosiate anything that happens to u in The Canaries with Spain, it is half way to the equator and down the side od Africa.
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by nanook:
    Victor
    this is my advice, playa de inglese is a dump, ...
    </font>

    mmmmm...
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Chief---:
    Stay away from strip clubs, they aint really strip clubs. 5 or 6 of us went in one night and we all only made it out barely with our lives. ...</font>

    Most strip joints r not very safe. What did u think dude?

    Well, I hope we have a good time dispite the good rep u guys r giving it biggrin.gif Victor, Spiritus Rectus, Ash, Bubbles (not boards bubs) and me r going. Wish us good sex biggrin.gifbiggrin.gifbiggrin.gif



    Snowball.

    Buses are sociable vehicals, thats why they come in twoes and threes :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Will be updating this if possible while we are away. icon26.gif

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭[fist]Snowball


    We have been here 3 nights (one of which we had to hit the sack because we arrived at 6am) and one of the guys got he co<k held by a man, another got called gay and didn't get layed because they thought he was realy gay and a hoocked grabed somone elses balls biggrin.gif

    We will keep u updated.

    Snowball.

    Buses are sociable vehicals, thats why they come in twoes and threes :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,402 ✭✭✭✭Trojan


    rotfl

    cheers for that informative report snowy smile.gif

    hows our Vicky getting on? smile.gif

    Al.

    Sedulously eschew obfuscatory hyperverbosity and prolixity.

    You really should you know.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,125 ✭✭✭_CreeD_


    Try the La Canaria Pizza. Bananna and lots of garlic (If done right). Sounds awful but is actually damn nice, and gauranteed to win the strangest-pizza award at parties (Well, if there was a strangest pizza award....you never know).


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Trojan:
    hows our Vicky getting on?</font>

    Thats a bit rich for someone named after a brand of condoms. tongue.gif

    Have not been grabbed by any men. smile.gif

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Went to Aqua Sur (water park) today. Nearly ruptured myself on one of the slides. Snowball is now a red Snowball. Got blown off (no, not blown in any other way) by woman I was chasing.

    Just as well I have one in reserve...

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Status at 6 am this morning.
    Victor : asleep
    Snowball : sunburnt & awake
    Ash : sunburnt & asleep
    Bubbles : drunk, awake, has just conquered Germany ( wink.gif ) - later retracts this statement.

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭phobos


    Dude enjoy your holliday, stop Moderating. Alastair and I won't get up to anything on the Acc. board while you're gone. wink.gif

    On another note, hows things so far. Get some photos of the Sand Dunes over in Africa, they were class. If I can find mine I'll post them up, but that was a few years ago.

    Oh crap gotta go, damn phone company is switching between off-peak to peak billing.

    TTYL,
    ;-phobos-)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 768 ✭✭✭SHADOW


    Yeah I was there last year with "the lads". 9 of us or there abouts.

    Top tip: Its the island of scams, take NOTHING at face value. EVERYBODY there will try to rip you off, your reps included.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Lorraine (10 days into holiday): "We went to the beach yesterday [for the first time] and "it wasn´t quite our cup of tea" - six miles of beach to choose from and she objects to the nudist area.

    Ash (well into his third bottle of Jack Daniels bourbon in 24 sleepless hours): "I´m drunk. I´m drunk, bitter and defending the Jesuits".

    Tour Guide (a van has just collided with bus): "This, of course, is not included in the basic cost of the tour."

    I went (alone - lads were unconscious) on the island tour yesterday. Was meant to go on Saturday, but the bus went to the wrong bus stop (duh!!!).

    It was alright for 4900 pesetas (23 pounds) including lunch (one drink only). Video was another 4900 pesetas (nooo thanks - I think they sold 2).

    Saw the Air Base (sorry Spanish Air Force your camouflage is useless). Went to a little craft museum / shop (rustic). Saw crater of dormant volcano. Saw golf club (??). Drove around tiny villages that went on for ten miles (why??). Drove around university (why????? - give me back my 10 minutes). Took narrow twisty road and hit van.

    Had lunch in a place called Teror (it´s OK don´t panic - ka tish), nice old village.

    Went into the ´real´ mountains (up to 5,800 feet / 1750 metres). Saw as far as Mount Teide on Tenerife (60 miles away - next island). Looked down through clouds. Saw the Radar Station - felt like I was in South Armagh, with the watch towers (Spanish Air Force - see above), I suspect it is really an eavesdropping station.

    Took really hairy bus trip back - front of bus is going around a bend while the back is still going around the previous bend.

    Overall OK, not overly inspired, could have done without the official cameraman (initial suspicions that he was an American tourist were wrongfooted).
    Will report more.

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.

    [This message has been edited by Victor (edited 26-08-2001).]


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,218 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Got back last night, will post more during the week.

    Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 343 ✭✭buzz


    Lo, well I have been living there and Lanzarote for the last 6 months and Im only home!
    The sun really ****in burns there even this time of year, the birds are fit, and dont worry, there is no off-season!!!
    One thing I will warn u of, about 4 weeks ago, I was asleep in my appartment on the beach, and a boat parked at about 6am, and 200 morrocans jumped off, and swam to shore, along with food floating in the water!
    They are one of the most dangerous race in the world, and they are to do "No-good"... DOnt buy any drugs off them or anything else...
    But if u want anything, buy off english or Irish p.r`s for clubs! To notice them, they look like spanish, but darker, curley hair(most of them) and they speak arabic(which sounds like they are making it up as they go along). When I was there, I lived with 2 of them, and picked up the language! And in the end, I was robbed, beaten with a hammer, and left in hospital for 7 weeks!
    But the clubs are ok, and the drink is cheap, as long as u get p*s*ed in ur appartment, cus the "happy-hour 2 for the price of 1" is great, until u find that they are actually charging u for both drinks!!! and the shots they give are ****! Like, "free shnapps"! I worked in alot of bars etc, and it costs 200 pts per litre bottle, which is £0.90p!!! Its like petrol!
    Just get ****ed, shag as many birds as u can, and have a laugh...

    Very funny scotty, now beam me up my ****ing clothes!!!

    [This message has been edited by buzz (edited 05-09-2001).]


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