Fine Gael TD sues Dublin Hotel after falling off swing

Wheeliebin30 wrote: »

The pub?

Why would I go there and listen to a load of drunk idiots blaming da gubberment because they’re loosers and dipsos and pissed away their life.

Nah you’re grand.

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Where's the fcuking report lads..........?


The lack of action on Bailey, and clarification on the report means people will have to fill in the blank's, and surmise for themselves.

Here's one possible scenario I've envisaged.

Kate O'Connell, Josepha Madigan and Maria Bailey leave Sandyford on the Luas, tanked up to fcuk, Bailey and Madigan each supping from a can of devils bit cider, Kate swigging from a naggin of Bacardi that she's premixed with coke zero because calories etc, girls got her figure to mind.

They arrive at the Dean, where they immediately harangue the bartender that "service is required" followed by "we're pretty big deals in fg circles oh yer" as the Barman eventually gets them their two bottles of Stella and a Sauv Blanc.

Tubthumping comes on, the three of them link arms and in unison sing along with the words "drinks a vodka drink, drink a lager drink, etc etc," then followed by "get knocked down but I get up again", when suddenly Maria comes up with the brain wave that it would be "totes a fab idea to get a selfie on the swings" - so the three of them jump on the lift to Sophie's, checking out the lunch boxes on some of south dubs finest men on a night out on their onward journey.

Upon getting to the swings bailey takes her seat, poses for a selfie -stella raised aloft (no point buying a beer if you don't either drink it, or put a photo of it up on social media) and realises that, (signs or no signs, swings are designed to be gripped with both hands) she asks one of her two compadres to take the photo for her.

Madigan, clutching a goblet of wine in one hand, the bottle in the other, realises that her phones in the inside of her jacket, and asks Bailey to hold the wine bottle so she can fetch it forthwith.

Upon reaching for the bottle of gargle, gravity reminds Maria's arse that it cares not a jot for politics or status symbol, and sends said arse off swing, and Bailey goes arse over tit, plummeting to the ground.

Cue, schoolgirl like titters and giggles from all concerned with the exception of Bailey, who feels morto. Quicky gathering herself up off the ground, and heads for the nearest jack's to assess the situation.

Legalese jargon starts being spouted in an effort to quell Maria's mortoness, about how the swings shouldn't be there without instructions how to safely use them (snigger) or without adult supervision (snigger again) from a lawyer high on ego, wine and self importance.

Bailey gets advised to seek plasters from the hotel reception, and the importance of recording the incident in the health and safety book they might have (gonna be needed later)

Few meetings in the ensuing weeks with solicitor where their stall is laid out, where to take the claim, what angle to go with and make sure they know you're an avid runner whom couldn't run at all for months afterwards. Wink wink.

Reassurances all over the show that this will be settled well before court, plebs won't even be told of this one, clear cut negligence etc etc.

Bailey stops at travel agents on way home, leaves with brochures of five stars in Florida, all inclusive, why not.

Excrement whacks the fan, whole thing gets exposed because the feckin Dean refused to go down without a fight, newspaper articles, FG reps getting mouthfuls on the doorsteps by disgruntled insurance payers, then Bailey's radio interview, FG completely affronted, humanity was crossed, Farrells episode is once again brought to the fore, reminding the great unwashed that the lure of easy money via dodgy insurance claims isn't unique to Maria.

Leo's campaign to grass up welfare fraud gets wheeled out to remind us that he and his party apparently operate a zero tolerance approach to scamming and cheating systems.

Minister's and TDs voice their annoyance, one even deletes Bailey's photo from Facebook (ouch)**







**Some or perhaps even all of the above might not be true, hence the need for facts from Kennedy's report needs to be published.


Humanity however, has well and truly been crossed to fcuk.

Wheeliebin wrote:

I don’t need anyone to hold my hand and I certainly won’t blame the government or expect them to cradle me through life.