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Superhero

  • 21-07-2012 10:26pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Right, every single AH'er can now become a bonafide "Superhero" with unique super powers.

    Rules:

    You cannot pick the obvious ones ie Batman etc
    Or Invisibility etc as your superpower

    I'll go first :D

    I'm "Instantaneous Azzkicker" :pac:

    My superpower is that when people annoy me, offend me or really just bother the **** out of me I can move so fast it's "instantaneous" and kick them up the h*le without even being noticed ;)


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,331 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    The power to make bread go stale.


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ Madelyn Blue Stepladder


    I can bite my toenails.

    I don't. But I can.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Can I rob Karl Pilkingtons superhero Bullsh!t Man? I'd probably use it on myself though...



  • Registered Users Posts: 738 ✭✭✭crazy cabbage


    <
    I am an even sexier cabbage


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    My superpower would have to be one you could have a lot of fun with. The power to make a person have an orgasm as long as they were in my line of sight.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    The power to make bread go stale.

    And what pray, would your Superhero name be?

    "The Crustinator" perhaps?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,918 ✭✭✭Steffano2002


    If I could have a super power it would be to rewind time by 15 seconds. That's it.

    Imagine having a car crash and being able to rewind time and avoid it!

    Or imagine somebody is really annoying you, let's say at work, and you punch the fecking head off them but then rewind time and walk away with a smile on your face...

    Yes, I'd love to be able to do that!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I can bite my toenails.

    I don't. But I can.

    Me too!!!

    We should really make up a club:o


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ Madelyn Blue Stepladder


    mishkalucy wrote: »
    Me too!!!

    We should really make up a club:o

    I'd rather not if it's all the same to you.


    :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,959 ✭✭✭Jesus Shaves


    I have the power to make money disappear, They call me Henry the Hippo


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    The power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets. That's telekinesis.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    If I could have a super power it would be to rewind time by 15 seconds. That's it.

    Imagine having a car crash and being able to rewind time and avoid it!

    Or imagine somebody is really annoying you, let's say at work, and you punch the fecking head off them but then rewind time and walk away with a smile on your face...

    Yes, I'd love to be able to do that!

    I think you're screwing yourself there. If you were on a plane that was crashing you would only be able to loop back 15 seconds and poo yourself again. If you made it a few hours you could do the bosses partner or rob a bank for fun or win the lottery. You've given yourself an awful handicap.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    The power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets. That's telekinesis.

    Thanks for reminding me to buy tickets to them! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I'd rather not if it's all the same to you.


    :p

    We could bring it out of the closet daisy!!

    And I would hazard a guess there would be a lot of men there.
    On account of the fact the we are physically able to get our leg to go in that direction(ahem)


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    I'd know exactly how much pasta/rice to pour into the pot by just looking at it. I always make way too much or way too little.


    The ability to know where everything in somebody's kitchen is, so I can weird them out by making a cup of tea and not having to ask where the teabags/cups/saucers/teaspoons are kept.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,273 ✭✭✭racso1975


    The power to heal. Not cure cancer and **** like that but to cure mental illness or horrible memory's.


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ Madelyn Blue Stepladder


    mishkalucy wrote: »

    And I would hazard a guess there would be a lot of men there.
    On account of the fact the we are physically able to get our leg to go in that direction(ahem)

    Oh well you should have said there'd be men. I though it ws just gonna be a few bendy freaks :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Piste wrote: »
    I'd know exactly how much pasta/rice to pour into the pot by just looking at it. I always make way too much or way too little.


    The ability to know where everything in somebody's kitchen is, so I can weird them out by making a cup of tea and not having to ask where the teabags/cups/saucers/teaspoons are kept.

    I can grant you half of your superpower:cool:

    You can buy a spaghetti mesure, use google image to show you what it looks lik and you can get them practically everywhere.

    Does this make me a killjoy?:o


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,918 ✭✭✭Steffano2002


    Shryke wrote: »
    I think you're screwing yourself there. If you were on a plane that was crashing you would only be able to loop back 15 seconds and poo yourself again. If you made it a few hours you could do the bosses partner or rob a bank for fun or win the lottery. You've given yourself an awful handicap.
    I was being reasonable! I don't want to be able to win the Euromillions every friday! I just want to make my current life a little bit better (there are lots of people I want to punch in the face or kick in the baby-maker!). lol


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Piste wrote: »
    I'd know exactly how much pasta/rice to pour into the pot by just looking at it. I always make way too much or way too little.

    I thought it was just me.

    Damn spaghetti confounds me every time. I stand there with the spaghetti and I'm thinking 'WTF'?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 341 ✭✭poppyvally


    I can turn milk sour with ONE look!, b/cos I look like & talk like Lucinda Craytor


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,540 ✭✭✭Giselle


    I can bite my toenails.

    I don't. But I can.

    If I could, I would.

    Just the once, for thrills.


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ Madelyn Blue Stepladder


    I thought it was just me.

    Damn spaghetti confounds me every time. I stand there with the spaghetti and I'm thinking 'WTF'?

    Get one of these :D

    That should really go in the when did you realise you were old thread :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,918 ✭✭✭Steffano2002


    I thought it was just me.

    Damn spaghetti confounds me every time. I stand there with the spaghetti and I'm thinking 'WTF'?
    I have a great technique when it come to cooking pasta or rice!

    I let my girlfriend do the cooking.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Oh well you should have said there'd be men. I though it ws just gonna be a few bendy freaks :D

    Oh no daisy, us double-jointed legged women can(just had an idea mid-type!!)

    You and I, Daisy, can form a crime fighting duo.
    With our bendy legs, we can use our skills for more than just the ability to bite snaggled toenails!

    Whattcha reckon?


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ Madelyn Blue Stepladder


    mishkalucy wrote: »
    Oh no daisy, us double-jointed legged women can(just had an idea mid-type!!)

    You and I, Daisy, can form a crime fighting duo.
    With our bendy legs, we can use our skills for more than just the ability to bite snaggled toenails!

    Whattcha reckon?

    Um. I'm just going, um...over there....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    I was being reasonable! I don't want to be able to win the Euromillions every friday! I just want to make my current life a little bit better (there are lots of people I want to punch in the face or kick in the baby-maker!). lol

    You could punch them for hours instead of getting a few rapid digs in and having to stop. Think how easy it would be to go overtime! You'll be using your 15 second super power to try and duck the Gardai. You don't need to use it to win the lotto. I mean I would. If you're going to wish for a superpower you might as well get a bit adventurous. What was one of your other options, opening tins without a tin opener? :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Um. I'm just going, um...over there....

    Spoilsport:p

    I thought I had just invented the new "Batman and Robin"
    Albeit, with double jointed legs:pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 579 ✭✭✭cartell_best


    I want to be Jesus


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,918 ✭✭✭Steffano2002


    Shryke wrote: »
    You could punch them for hours instead of getting a few rapid digs in and having to stop. Think how easy it would be to go overtime! You'll be using your 15 second super power to try and duck the Gardai. You don't need to use it to win the lotto. I mean I would. If you're going to wish for a superpower you might as well get a bit adventurous. What was one of your other options, opening tins without a tin opener? :P
    I just don't think I will ever be able to rewind such a long period of time Shryke. I mean, 15 seconds, I could probably manage but hours?! That would require way too much energy! I'd be left drained!


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