Aziz Ansari - sexual assault or unwarranted assault on reputation

[Deleted User] · 14-01-2018 12:40pm #1

It's another one of "those" threads...

This is all over twitter today based on an article that was written about one woman's sexual encounter with the award winning comedian.

https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355/amp?__twitter_impression=true

See if you can get past the eye roll inducing comment about being given white wine instead of red to see what you think.

My feeling is that giving verbal queues followed by conflicting enthusiastic actions builds a scenarios that provides way too much ambiguity to warrant destroying someones reputation and that, in fact, this reads like an invasion of privacy of the comedian.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 14-01-2018 12:41pm

If you say so.

Hector Bellend · 14-01-2018 12:46pm

TLDR.

Sounds like she could do with a good ride

14-01-2018 12:51pm

We are not using her real name to protect her identity because she is not a public figure.

So once it's a public figure, we can say what we like and remain anonymous, right...

Crea · 14-01-2018 12:56pm

Bad sex is not sexual assault.

alchemist33 · 14-01-2018 1:10pm

It's pretty shocking they think they can publish so.lmething like that in the current in the current climate, where many people will read the headline and a paragraph assume he sexually assaulted her, when he clearly didn't. Her inability to say no, or even leave (never mind being so uncomfortable that she let him perform oral sex on her, and she on him) is the issue here, not his inability to mindread.

evolving_doors · 14-01-2018 1:15pm

In one of his episodes of 'M.o.N' himself and a female colleague apprehend and do a citizens arrest on a guy masturbating on a subway (they'd seen him do it before). Sound familiar?

Also he had a brief storyline on a colleague he wasabout to do a big tv deal with but was outed for sexual harassment.

I'd say he's aware of the issues.

suicide_circus · 14-01-2018 1:47pm

The natural sexuality of the straight male is becoming a problem.

pjohnson · 14-01-2018 1:49pm

Tbh when she started taking pictures of the food during the date Azis should have said "Fcuk this" and left her.

JMNolan · 14-01-2018 1:51pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

The natural sexuality of the straight male is becoming a problem.

I predict the accusations will become so numerous and ludicrous that none of them will be taken seriously, regardless of their seriousness.

[Deleted User] · 14-01-2018 1:54pm

Mrs Gilhooley wrote: »

It's another one of "those" threads...

This is all over twitter today based on an article that was written about one woman's sexual encounter with the award winning comedian.

https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355/amp?__twitter_impression=true

See if you can get past the eye roll inducing comment about being given white wine instead of red to see what you think.

My feeling is that giving verbal queues followed by conflicting enthusiastic actions builds a scenarios that provides way too much ambiguity to warrant destroying someones reputation and that, in fact, this reads like an invasion of privacy of the comedian.

She's entitled to shout it from the rooftops of she wants. It's not "his" private moment. For all that, the accusation isn't too bad, she doesn't seem to be crying rape or sexual assault. It's kinda his tough luck if a woman kisses and tells.

TerrorFirmer · 14-01-2018 2:08pm

Doesn't paint him in a great light at all, but I certainly wouldn't class it as sexual assault. She had the power to leave but repeatedly chose to remain by her own admission. Doesn't mean that his behavior - if it was as portrayed in the piece (and it is a big if) - is OK, but she made choices too.

TerrorFirmer · 14-01-2018 2:09pm

That twit Louise O' Neill at it again on Twitter. Speaking for the 'hive mind'.

Besides showing zero empathy, asking why she didn’t ‘just leave’ demonstrates a complete lack of understanding about trauma and how women are socially conditioned to be polite and to prioritise men’s feelings above their own

AllGunsBlazing · 14-01-2018 2:19pm

If he plays the race card that could be enough to nullify her victim card.

Yeah, score draw imo.

Silentcorner · 14-01-2018 2:21pm

If your date (on a first date remember) ends up in a cab in tears at the end of the night something has gone badly wrong....

If your sister arrived home in that state what way would you react?

I don't know if this guy could be convicted of anything, that doesn't really matter...

He clearly ignored a lot of signals and persisted in physically invasive behaviour...what kind of a man does that?

If in the early stages of dating you lack the self awareness of how your behaviour (particularly your physical behaviour) is impacting on your new partner then you really are a threat....

The fact that he presents himself as a Pro Feminist / Nice guy type of man only highlights the dangers that women are exposed to, because a woman goes back to your apartment does not constitute consent....he is a wolf in sheep's clothing...

No doubt people will focus on her behaviour and inability to walk out....but this is not his first time with a woman...he is 34 years of age, frankly he has no excuse....

That is assuming the account is truthful...

andekwarhola · 14-01-2018 2:22pm

222233 wrote: »

So once it's a public figure, we can say what we like and remain anonymous, right...

And also disclose the street on which he lives because he's a celebrity in a ghoulish internet kangaroo court.

fullstop · 14-01-2018 2:25pm

If true, he acted like a complete dick and needs to have a good look at himself and his behaviour, but I can't understand how you can just have anonymity when coming forward with an accusation like this while he's named for the world to see.

lawred2 · 14-01-2018 2:30pm

Due process is so twentieth century

Grayson · 14-01-2018 2:36pm

fullstop wrote: »

If true, he acted like a complete dick and needs to have a good look at himself and his behaviour, but I can't understand how you can just have anonymity when coming forward with an accusation like this while he's named for the world to see.

Yep, he sounds like a bit of an asshole if the story is true. However he didn't break the law.

One thing that struck me about the story is that it's the kind of story that would have been on the front page of the news of the world 10 years ago. Especially if it was about an English footballer. And the woman would have been paid a lot for the story.
I think the main difference is how it's reported here.

Outlaw Pete · 14-01-2018 2:53pm

Deleted User wrote: »

...she doesn't seem to be crying rape or sexual assault.

Eh, that's precisely what she's calling it:

“It took a really long time for me to validate this as sexual assault”

B.A._Baracus · 14-01-2018 2:54pm

This sh*t has gone too far.
Was always a risk of people posting crap online just to jump on the band wagon. Happened now.

You could look at a women now and she'd type #metoo on twitter ffs.

Ray Palmer · 14-01-2018 3:07pm

I have been involved in disputes in work where I had to talk to people to get their story of events. You would be amazed at how 3 people involved in a dispute could recount events that sound so radically different. Human memory is so unreliable by its very nature that it is very difficult to trust when you hear how different people perceived evens.
He has made no statement yet we are to believe her events after she recounted it many times to friends before typing out details to be publicly shared. That would have caused her telling to be constantly reinforced and altered.
Not saying she is lying but it doesn't mean she is telling actual events.
People have made comments on general allegations that there is no reason for these women to lie. This misses some well known details of memory, social pressure and desires for inclusion. Look and 9/11 and you had people in Ireland claiming the most convoluted connections to the attack. From "I was on those towers once" to my cousins girlfriend worked there for a while, over time it becomes my cousin worked in the building and I visited him there once and he was luckily out sick on that day. There have been people who claimed they were there on day who were proven to not have been there.
Knowing this how do people assume everyone is giving accurate accounts. If you don't know this or never heard of anything similar my question is how?

Ficheall · 14-01-2018 3:12pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I have been involved in disputes in work where I had to talk to people to get their story of events. You would be amazed at how 3 people involved in a dispute could recount events that sound so radically different. Human memory is so unreliable by its very nature that it is very difficult to trust when you hear how different people perceived evens.
He has made no statement yet we are to believe her events after she recounted it many times to friends before typing out details to be publicly shared. That would have caused her telling to be constantly reinforced and altered.
Not saying she is lying but it doesn't mean she is telling actual events.
People have made comments on general allegations that there is no reason for these women to lie. This misses some well known details of memory, social pressure and desires for inclusion. Look and 9/11 and you had people in Ireland claiming the most convoluted connections to the attack. From "I was on those towers once" to my cousins girlfriend worked there for a while, over time it becomes my cousin worked in the building and I visited him there once and he was luckily out sick on that day. There have been people who claimed they were there on day who were proven to not have been there.
Knowing this how do people assume everyone is giving accurate accounts. If you don't know this or never heard of anything similar my question is how?

Even taking her account of events as gospel, though, it seems Aziz' greatest mistake was not being a mindreader. Or going on a date with your one in the first place.

B.A._Baracus · 14-01-2018 3:19pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I have been involved in disputes in work where I had to talk to people to get their story of events. You would be amazed at how 3 people involved in a dispute could recount events that sound so radically different. Human memory is so unreliable by its very nature that it is very difficult to trust when you hear how different people perceived evens.

That's not an issue with human memory. That's people twisting events to come as in the right.

bnt · 14-01-2018 3:27pm

evolving_doors wrote: »

I'd say he's aware of the issues.

Aware? A couple of years ago, Ansari co-wrote a book called Modern Romance: An Investigation. I read it last month and I found it both funny and helpful, by which I mean that it confirmed my suspicions that online dating is a dumpster fire that I'm better off avoiding altogether. I'd say that both parties in this "screw-up" learned from the experience.

biko · 14-01-2018 3:31pm

Metoo

[Deleted User] · 14-01-2018 3:32pm

JMNolan wrote: »

I predict the accusations will become so numerous and ludicrous that none of them will be taken seriously, regardless of their seriousness.

Doubtful. Society will just take a different angle in that those who don't take it seriously, will be dismissing the experiences of the female, because, well, they're female.

These kinds of reports/accusations are going to become a lot more common, and they will be acted on.

Personally, I expect to see a rise in relationships with very strongly worded contract agreements, and a decline of casual sexual encounters. I wonder will people start videoing their sexual encounters just to show there's no dodginess involved? (apart from their other reasons for recording the experience, that is)

anewme · 14-01-2018 3:41pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I wonder will people start videoing their sexual encounters just to show there's no dodginess involved?

Read that quickly on my phone as .......just to show there's no DOGINESS involved.

Ooopps

Ray Palmer · 14-01-2018 4:05pm

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

That's not an issue with human memory. That's people twisting events to come as in the right.

That is your assumption which you are entitled to it but I am talking about 3 people with 2 people making claims against each other. One person has nothing to gain by siding one way or the other and the other 2 people not agreeing with that account either. You can go look it up, human memory is dismal. You remember what you remembered last not the original event.

[Deleted User] · 14-01-2018 4:07pm

anewme wrote: »

Read that quickly on my phone as .......just to show there's no DOGINESS involved.

Ooopps

Ficheall · 14-01-2018 4:14pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

He clearly ignored a lot of signals

Which were...?

Aziz Ansari - sexual assault or unwarranted assault on reputation

Comments