Biggest scandal in your workplace (Mod Note in OP)

Snotty · 21-09-2019 7:19pm

On the phantom ****er, there was cctv video doing the rounds of a older guy in a local hotel, he was walking from the reception area to the toilets and next thing a turd just falls out of his trousers leg, he sees it and stops, puts his hands up to his head and genuinely seems he is shocked and doesn't know what to do, of course he then just walks on.

Conall Cernach · 21-09-2019 8:05pm

Snotty wrote: »

On the phantom ****er, there was cctv video doing the rounds of a older guy in a local hotel, he was walking from the reception area to the toilets and next thing a turd just falls out of his trousers leg, he sees it and stops, puts his hands up to his head and genuinely seems he is shocked and doesn't know what to do, of course he then just walks on.

There was a great thread here a couple of years ago about someone who did something similar except they walked it all the way through the hotel up to their room. It was at a wedding if memory serves.

Notmything · 21-09-2019 8:18pm

earlytobed wrote: »

On the phantom crappers, I caught one when i was serving overseas with the army. Our platoon sergeant was giving out yards about the state of the jacks as there was regularly crap all over the seat, bowl etc.
I was entering trap 1 one day and met a local chap that used cook and clean the kitchen for us coming out.
Turns out it was a cultural thing, he used squat over the bowel and let fly (the local toilets were hole in the floor jobs)
I pointed out the error of his ways and that was an and to the matter.

Also army and overseas. On one trip we had an NCO who was too lazy to go to the jacks at night so he would piss out the window or crap in his jocks and throw it out the window. When the stench got too much he would detail someone to clean up his mess.

Currently in residential care where we do 24hr shifts. Everyone has their own bedding that would be left in a room. While working for one company we started finding used condoms discarded in people's bedding. Naturally the few guys who worked there were blamed. Things got very sour.

Turned out it was a female member of the team. She had tried it on with one of the guys, he rejected her. When she shacked up with someone else she would save their used johnnie's and bring them into work. All to try get someone into trouble. She stayed, the guy left.

[Deleted User] · 21-09-2019 8:21pm

Snotty wrote: »

On the phantom ****er, there was cctv video doing the rounds of a older guy in a local hotel, he was walking from the reception area to the toilets and next thing a turd just falls out of his trousers leg, he sees it and stops, puts his hands up to his head and genuinely seems he is shocked and doesn't know what to do, of course he then just walks on.

Honestly though, what's the appropriate thing to do in that situation? They don't teach you that in Civics.

Alert a waitress? Ask for a shovel and a yard brush? I hope to God we never find ourselves in such a crisis. Enjoy your sphincters while you have them.

Paddy Cow · 21-09-2019 9:11pm

Conall Cernach wrote: »

There was a great thread here a couple of years ago about someone who did something similar except they walked it all the way through the hotel up to their room. It was at a wedding if memory serves.

I remember that. He got it all over the hallway and down the stairs and walls. The bride and groom had to pay a cleaning fee and also get him new clothes the next day. Instead of being mortified like a normal person, he just sat at the bar and had a few drinks. Some people really are shameless.

Paddy Cow · 21-09-2019 9:14pm

Snotty wrote: »

On the phantom ****er, there was cctv video doing the rounds of a older guy in a local hotel, he was walking from the reception area to the toilets and next thing a turd just falls out of his trousers leg, he sees it and stops, puts his hands up to his head and genuinely seems he is shocked and doesn't know what to do, of course he then just walks on.

He mustn't have been able to hold it in and it was in his jocks, while he tried to get to the toilet but the motion set it lose and the rest is immortalised in CCTV.

Thankfully I've never worked in a place with a phantom sh!tter. It's such a bizarre thing to do. There was a video doing the rounds recently enough where someone squatted down to take a dump, picked it up and threw it over the counter at an employee :eek: Wtf is wrong with people?

corner of hells · 21-09-2019 9:52pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

from call centre through supemarket through factory through civil service, every place had had phantom ****ters and the vast majority in the womens loos

even the supermarket customer loos were noticeably more prone to being filth in general as well as specifically targeted for crapbombing

fairer sex how are ya

Ya'all never on worked on building sites on Monday mornings.

If it wasn't a bum spud the size of a turnip being dropped off , it was a machine gun blast of Guinness scutter.

punisher5112 · 21-09-2019 10:00pm

Thing I could never understand is how do these dirt birds feel having to sit into or clean up others absolute sh1te...

[Deleted User] · 21-09-2019 10:37pm

punisher5112 wrote: »

Thing I could never understand is how do these dirt birds feel having to sit into or clean up others absolute sh1te...

Sit into?

What are you talking about Punisher?

You can't mean something in the style.of the Scottish cairn/gravestack, where stone is piled on stone?

I won't be checking this thread until later in the weekend, so you may whistle that. I've a raspberry roulade waiting for me in the fridge and I can't stomach it on reading these latest epistles.

Tomw86 · 23-09-2019 11:43am

Paddy Cow wrote: »

He mustn't have been able to hold it in and it was in his jocks, while he tried to get to the toilet but the motion set it lose and the rest is immortalised in CCTV.

Thankfully I've never worked in a place with a phantom sh!tter. It's such a bizarre thing to do. There was a video doing the rounds recently enough where someone squatted down to take a dump, picked it up and threw it over the counter at an employee :eek: Wtf is wrong with people?

If you've never worked in a place with a phantom sh1tter then you are the phantom sh1tter

20Wheel · 23-09-2019 1:29pm

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

It's funny that I've worked in two places already referenced in earlier posts and was working in each place during the time of its scandal....nothing to do with me though! :eek:

Worked in a place where a HR person created a fake employee so was getting two paychecks for themself each month...on finding out the firm couldn't face the embarrassment given the service they provide themselves so the person was quietly assisted off the grounds and no more was heard about it...

Fckin hell these stories making me feel like im part of the brady bunch. Is everyone out there on the take?
Why amnt i scoring meth off the boss and robbing pensioners cc details?

Oonagh123 · 23-09-2019 1:35pm

Guy in my office went on a business trip to Vegas, turns out he used the company card on some hookers, the security team flagged the expense and when he arrived back to Ireland he was seen on CCTV going into the office and emptying his desk/drawer at work. Never seen him since.

20Wheel · 23-09-2019 2:18pm

CosmicFool wrote: »

So I work for a multinational and an engineer had problems with his laptop. He left it in with the IT guys and low and behold the dirty bastard had plenty of pics of guys in the loo.
He took pictures form under and over the stalls. He was made resign and It was all Swept under the carpet as such.

Was having a barry as i read that.
Kind of paranoid now. Might go with the sitting down wipe.

EmmetSpiceland · 23-09-2019 3:11pm

20Wheel wrote: »

Was having a barry as i read that.
Kind of paranoid now. Might go with the sitting down wipe.

Which “technique” would you utilise for a “sitdown” wipe?

Slight lift of the cheek from the seat and the “reach back” with a wiping action of front to back?

Or would you plum for the old “down and under”? While this method seems to give the best “clean” you are leaving yourself wide open for instances of “pissy hand”, “stained barse”, or the dreaded “sac smear”. None are very pleasant but all are, very real, possibilities.

Apparently, an “unofficial” study on wiping technique showed it was almost 50:50 on whether one went with sitting or standing to wipe. The sit down style was then split into whether the user did a lean and “reach back” or the “down and under”.

My take on it would be that someone raised in a family of, predominantly, women would be more likely to go “down and under” but that’s just speculation.

Hope you got on ok.

20Wheel · 23-09-2019 3:35pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Which “technique” would you utilise for a “sitdown” wipe?

Slight lift of the cheek from the seat and the “reach back” with a wiping action of front to back?

Or would you plum for the old “down and under”? While this method seems to give the best “clean” you are leaving yourself wide open for instances of “pissy hand”, “stained barse”, or the dreaded “sac smear”. None are very pleasant but all are, very real, possibilities.

Apparently, an “unofficial” study on wiping technique showed it was almost 50:50 on whether one went with sitting or standing to wipe. The sit down style was then split into whether the user did a lean and “reach back” or the “down and under”.

My take on it would be that someone raised in a family of women would be more likely to go “down and under” but that’s just speculation.

Hope you got on ok.

Have to go for the side lift.
Tilt like a gangsta rap video lowrider, but smellier.

Jurgen The German · 24-09-2019 11:36am

Working in a call centre for an insurance company about 11 years ago. There were maybe 20 men and 80 women in the place so not too many blokes. One day the cleaner, an absolute sweetheart of a girl came into the canteen very upset. Some dirty bastard had smeared shyte all over the walls and door inside one of the cubicles in the mens toilets. Nobody knows for sure who did it but there was one chap working there who was odd as too left feet. He seemed to have a bit of a crush on the cleaner but she was married so didn't pay him much mind. He left a couple of weeks after but nobody knows for sure if it was him. In fairness to the operations manager there, she wouldn't let the cleaner clean it up and ended up suiting up with rubber gloves and a mask and cleaned it herself. Imagine the mentality of someone to not only pick up their own faeces but to smush and smear it all over a wall. Fcuking animal.

randd1 · 24-09-2019 11:48am

Jurgen The German wrote: »

Working in a call centre for an insurance company about 11 years ago. There were maybe 20 men and 80 women in the place so not too many blokes. One day the cleaner, an absolute sweetheart of a girl came into the canteen very upset. Some dirty bastard had smeared shyte all over the walls and door inside one of the cubicles in the mens toilets. Nobody knows for sure who did it but there was one chap working there who was odd as too left feet. He seemed to have a bit of a crush on the cleaner but she was married so didn't pay him much mind. He left a couple of weeks after but nobody knows for sure if it was him. In fairness to the operations manager there, she wouldn't let the cleaner clean it up and ended up suiting up with rubber gloves and a mask and cleaned it herself. Imagine the mentality of someone to not only pick up their own faeces but to smush and smear it all over a wall. Fcuking animal.

Is there any chance it could have been extremely explosive diarrhoea?

Addle · 24-09-2019 11:56am

Still should’ve cleaned up after himself if it was.

tylercheribini · 24-09-2019 11:58am

Maybe he had just watched "Hunger."

[Deleted User] · 24-09-2019 12:19pm

Kudos to the ops manager

[Deleted User] · 24-09-2019 12:41pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Oh man....this happened a few minutes ago.

I just sent an email to a Mr Whitely and I wrote 'Dear Mr ****ely'....bloody fat fingers.

Replace 'W' with 'S'

I emailed the National Disability Authority once to enquire about a fundraising initiative. I signed the email "Regards, $hifty", only except for the "g" in regards, I accidentally hit the letter above it on the keyboard.

:eek:

James Bond Junior · 24-09-2019 1:14pm

Mrs Gilhooley wrote: »

Kudos to the ops manager

I worked in a pub years ago and we had a man make an awful mess. Left a trail from the counter to the toilet and apparently managed to get it all over the walls and floor in the toilet. In fairness to the owner of the pub be wouldn't let anyone clean it up, he did it himself. Considering he had 20 years working in hotels and his own pub at that stage, he must have seen it all but he maintained that was the worst thing he ever dealt with.

Bigbagofcans · 24-09-2019 2:09pm

James Bond Junior wrote: »

I worked in a pub years ago and we had a man make an awful mess. Left a trail from the counter to the toilet and apparently managed to get it all over the walls and floor in the toilet. In fairness to the owner of the pub be wouldn't let anyone clean it up, he did it himself. Considering he had 20 years working in hotels and his own pub at that stage, he must have seen it all but he maintained that was the worst thing he ever dealt with.

There's a politician who berated Luke Ming Flanaghan for promoting weed, when he himself was found to have [EMAIL="sh@t"]sh@t[/EMAIL] himself in the seat in the pub.

Monkey2019 · 24-09-2019 2:23pm

James Bond Junior wrote: »

I worked in a pub years ago and we had a man make an awful mess. Left a trail from the counter to the toilet and apparently managed to get it all over the walls and floor in the toilet. In fairness to the owner of the pub be wouldn't let anyone clean it up, he did it himself. Considering he had 20 years working in hotels and his own pub at that stage, he must have seen it all but he maintained that was the worst thing he ever dealt with.

This happens way too much

One evening when i worked in a hotel a lady came up and said i may get the cleaners into the bathrooms as there was a bad mess. I went in to investigate and similar to the above it was trailed from the sinks into a cubicle, all over the walls, the floor, the door. It was late in the evening so there were no cleaners on so had to stick up an out of order sign on the door. God love the cleaners facing into that the next morning.

Another hotel i worked in a well dressed professional looking man checked in. Dressed in a suit, had a his briefcase.
He went up to room and left a few hours later without checking out with reception. Cleaner went up to check the room and he had smeared sh*t everywhere. A professional cleaning company had to come in it was that bad.

Working in hotels really opened my eyes to how f**king strange people are!

razorblunt · 24-09-2019 4:19pm

randd1 wrote: »

Is there any chance it could have been extremely explosive diarrhoea?

It would need to be some magical arsé to write out “be with me, Maura” on the door in shîte from explosive squits.

Ficheall · 24-09-2019 4:55pm

razorblunt wrote: »

It would need to be some magical arsé to write out “be with me, Maura” on the door in shîte from explosive squits.

Getting from the "M" to the first "a" without making a mess is particularly tricky.

soiseztomabel · 24-09-2019 9:52pm

Worked for an organization who worked with vulnerable people where three staff members on separate occasions have been in serious trouble over illicit behaviour.

The first guy drunkenly left his phone behind in a local pub and when the barman found it scrolled through in order to identify its owner and found several photos/videos that caused him to be lifted and changed for possession.

The second guy spoofed his way into a secure job and months later two detectives rocked up into the job when for a meeting with management to highlight the fact this guy was on the run for sex with an under age girl.

In the SAME PLACE the manager is said to have embezzles thousands from the organization and fled amid allegations of sexual assault.

Mad carry on all together

punisher5112 · 24-09-2019 10:14pm

soiseztomabel wrote: »

Worked for an organization who worked with vulnerable people where three staff members on separate occasions have been in serious trouble over illicit behaviour.

The first guy drunkenly left his phone behind in a local pub and when the barman found it scrolled through in order to identify its owner and found several photos/videos that caused him to be lifted and changed for possession.

The second guy spoofed his way into a secure job and months later two detectives rocked up into the job when for a meeting with management to highlight the fact this guy was on the run for sex with an under age girl.

In the SAME PLACE the manager is said to have embezzles thousands from the organization and fled amid allegations of sexual assault.

Mad carry on all together

I feel like I've read this already....

soiseztomabel · 24-09-2019 11:42pm

punisher5112 wrote: »

I feel like I've read this already....

Now way, really ?

punisher5112 · 24-09-2019 11:42pm

soiseztomabel wrote: »

Now way, really ?

Yeah me head hurtz

Biggest scandal in your workplace (Mod Note in OP)

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