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  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭gr8 m8


    Hello.

    So I have decided to leave the farm, I'm going to put it out to lease. I'm just spent with it all at this stage. Sure my heart is broken but I know that it is the right thing to do.

    I have been doing a lot of thinking and people watching and I keep catching myself wondering about these strangers I see. I wonder why they are always smiling and going about their business. How they don't seem weighed down with worry!

    I have decided to go traveling again because I just need a break from thinking about everything! I still have a few working holiday visas that I can apply for, namely Canada and Argentina. I also have been in contact with a farmer in Zambia that will give me a turn if I make my way there.

    I have all these options open to me which I suppose is great, and the lease on the farm will accumulate until I decide to return to the farm. But my mother has completely shut me out! Her and an autistic brother are my only living family and it is killing me.

    I have this empty void in me and I would give anything for someone to tell me that it is all going to be okay and that I am not this waste of space for not making a success of it! I have come to realize that I am just so lonely in life.

    I did the therepy thing and was told that my relationship with my mother was basically toxic and I should distance myself from her but I find it so hard.

    Over the next 6 months my life is going to change for the better but it is going to be so bloody hard and I know that I will just be split from the family even more. I don't know how it is going to happen.

    I just needed to put all that out into the world because I'm not strong enough to hold it all in my head!

    Thank you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,239 ✭✭✭Willfarman


    That fffer from Zambia was ringing me a few weeks back!

    To be honest you are doing what is logical and what most of us are afraid to do. If can get a good tenant then you’re elected. Well done.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,225 ✭✭✭charolais0153


    Do whats best for yourself and dont let others hold you back


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,888 ✭✭✭Hard Knocks


    Go enjoy & take a well earned break

    In football when something would go wrong (miss a score or a tackle) always focus on the next ball & push yourself to do better.
    If you keep concentrating on the last missed opportunity you’ll not make the most of the next

    The farm will be there for when you comeback, go find yourself

    Keep in touch


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,107 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    While it might not seem like it right now, you have just done something that is astounding! You've made a sensible decision with a view to finding your mojo and not everyone gets that chance. You'll still always have something to come back to and ground you, whether you are in Argentina or Zambia. So, pack the bags and take the first step on the journey that is the rest of your life.

    If you can, say an Au Revoir to the Brother and tell him that you'll keep in touch. If you say something to the mother, that'll be up to you, but you'll be far and away the bigger man if you do, no matter what she's like.

    Life is fcukin' short and its not a rehearsal.... So Onward and Upward!!

    Bon Voyage!:cool:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 254 ✭✭Track9


    Good for you , you are doing the right thing .
    A few weeks away & your head should become lighter .
    Spend time with the sea , its very healing & get into the sun .
    If you can head to the South Seas , places like Fiji & Tonga are amazing.
    Time slows down & people are welcoming & can teach us how to appreciate life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭Shtanto


    pakalasa wrote: »
    Someone mentioned to me recently, how everyone in Ireland should be talking Vitamin D during the winter. Lack of sunshine can really get you down. Ever notice that after a sunny day in Ireland, you can feel a lot better. Seven Seas, with added Vit D - try them.

    http://news.menshealth.com/vitamin-d-depression/2012/07/11/

    I've recommended this to people with MS and other autoimmune conditions for years. It's worth ignoring the RDA and daily value (DV) numbers. Our ancestors wandering across the plains got a lot more vitamin D into them by sunlight before our caves became rather more modern as they are today. I usually go for this one myself:
    https://bigvits.co.uk/product/vitamin-d-3-5000iu-x-360sgels-2/

    A years supply for about €15. Clever thing to do in some case is to try and lift your blood serum D3 levels more gradually by taking multiple stronger doses over the course of the day, e.g. breakfast lunch and dinner.

    As for people who might be getting depression off the back of their tinnitus, I would suggest this: http://www.szynalski.com/tone-generator/#support
    I found it last week and it seems to be working well so far.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,588 Mod ✭✭✭✭blue5000


    Shtanto wrote: »
    I've recommended this to people with MS and other autoimmune conditions for years. It's worth ignoring the RDA and daily value (DV) numbers. Our ancestors wandering across the plains got a lot more vitamin D into them by sunlight before our caves became rather more modern as they are today. I usually go for this one myself:
    https://bigvits.co.uk/product/vitamin-d-3-5000iu-x-360sgels-2/

    A years supply for about €15. Clever thing to do in some case is to try and lift your blood serum D3 levels more gradually by taking multiple stronger doses over the course of the day, e.g. breakfast lunch and dinner.

    As for people who might be getting depression off the back of their tinnitus, I would suggest this: http://www.szynalski.com/tone-generator/#support
    I found it last week and it seems to be working well so far.

    Thanks but now my tinnitus is driving the dogs mad:eek:

    If the seat's wet, sit on yer hat, a cool head is better than a wet ar5e.



  • Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭Shtanto


    blue5000 wrote: »
    Thanks but now my tinnitus is driving the dogs mad:eek:

    Well now at least this allows you to show everyone else what you're having to put up with. I'll try kinesiology next and report back if I get results. Anatomical study suggests it might be a temporo-mandibular joint problem, or something to do with my sternoclavicular major muscles


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,394 ✭✭✭✭Timmaay




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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,301 ✭✭✭A cow called Daisy


    I think I'm getting totally fed up with things outside the farm. Morals and legal are not the same.

    Just needed to write it down....


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,344 ✭✭✭✭Reggie.


    I think I'm getting totally fed up with things outside the farm. Morals and legal are not the same.

    Just needed to write it down....

    I agree with ya there


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,641 ✭✭✭✭patsy_mccabe




  • Registered Users Posts: 3,756 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    my mother always says, an ounce of help is better than a tonne of sympathy
    I don't have an ounce of either here :mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭148multi


    Dakota Dan wrote: »
    I don't have an ounce of either here :mad:

    We're willing to listen, if it lightens the load.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Millionaire only not


    Depression is widespread in the farming community far more than what’s admitted. Just had Dept here today cross compliance and another check omg Twud drive a person over the cliff
    And in fairness they were both nice doing there jobs but the computer was given the blame if I am going to be fined for real minor mistakes. My only grievance we must be only job that ur wages can be taken away for not doing ur job to above 95%


  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭gr8 m8


    Hello.

    Are there any of these mistakes that you can rectify and get them out of the way and tell the inspectors to come back in a month or so to look again?

    Just explain that things got on top of you or just went wrong for you but you are taking steps to set them right.

    You won't loose anything by talking to them and getting their opinion but it seems to be that once it goes into the computer, it's just out of everyone's hands.

    But at the end of the day, keep the chin up and don't let anyone else's negativity bother you because they don't know what struggles go on within your farm every day.

    The very best of luck in sorting this out!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Millionaire only not


    Thks as they say problem shared is promblem halfed
    I’ll let ye all know how it goes next week


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,917 ✭✭✭✭whelan2


    gr8 m8 wrote: »
    Hello.

    Are there any of these mistakes that you can rectify and get them out of the way and tell the inspectors to come back in a month or so to look again?

    Just explain that things got on top of you or just went wrong for you but you are taking steps to set them right.

    You won't loose anything by talking to them and getting their opinion but it seems to be that once it goes into the computer, it's just out of everyone's hands.

    But at the end of the day, keep the chin up and don't let anyone else's negativity bother you because they don't know what struggles go on within your farm every day.

    The very best of luck in sorting this out!

    How are you getting on?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Millionaire only not


    Will be next week now


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  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭gr8 m8


    Hello,

    I'm not sure if you are asking me how I am personally getting on or the person who got the inspectors?

    But personally I'm good. For those who don't know me, I have been around here for a while and fell on hard times. I had the works wrong with me, depression, anxiety, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, terrified the phone would ring or there would be a knock on the door!

    I eventually got out of the animals and I hate to admit it but the truth is I am happier for it! I don't think that I will ever leave agriculture behind totally so I view this as just a step back from the front line.

    I am after applying to do a organic horticulture course from September to March and I'm looking forward to it assuming I get it. I do a few odd jobs for people and have found that farmers over a certain age are crying out for someone who can run around after cattle and do off jobs for them.

    I'll be making hay in July and I have other farmers trying to buy it out of the fields already while I get a great kick out of the neighbor's who keep telling me how they will give me top price for my land either by lease or buying it outright!

    I was talking to an IFA man about a month ago and he asked me if I would consider doing work with them because I have been through something that others are still going through.

    I really hope that this doesn't sound like I am gloating or up on any high horse, I'm just trying to elaborate the fact that I have found a new "gra" for farming since I took this step back from it.

    I wasn't easy, I had to go to a counselor for years and he explained to me that I just had to let go of the guilt of leaving the farm. He told me that I was crippled by it and that it wasn't doing anyone any good.

    But with the way things are going with brexit and prices going down on meat and milk while prices are going up on cattle feed and fertilizer I don't think that I am missing out on any type of agricultural gold Rush so I'm hoping to learn about different types of farming enterprises and maybe diversify into new markets.

    My point is that once I stood back from my situation, I got to see a bigger picture and came to realise that since I will probably never get rich from farming, I may as well find a happier way to be poor.

    So yeah, that's basically how I'm doing!

    How are you?


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,917 ✭✭✭✭whelan2


    gr8 m8 wrote: »
    Hello,

    I'm not sure if you are asking me how I am personally getting on or the person who got the inspectors?

    But personally I'm good. For those who don't know me, I have been around here for a while and fell on hard times. I had the works wrong with me, depression, anxiety, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, terrified the phone would ring or there would be a knock on the door!

    I eventually got out of the animals and I hate to admit it but the truth is I am happier for it! I don't think that I will ever leave agriculture behind totally so I view this as just a step back from the front line.

    I am after applying to do a organic horticulture course from September to March and I'm looking forward to it assuming I get it. I do a few odd jobs for people and have found that farmers over a certain age are crying out for someone who can run around after cattle and do off jobs for them.

    I'll be making hay in July and I have other farmers trying to buy it out of the fields already while I get a great kick out of the neighbor's who keep telling me how they will give me top price for my land either by lease or buying it outright!

    I was talking to an IFA man about a month ago and he asked me if I would consider doing work with them because I have been through something that others are still going through.

    I really hope that this doesn't sound like I am gloating or up on any high horse, I'm just trying to elaborate the fact that I have found a new "gra" for farming since I took this step back from it.

    I wasn't easy, I had to go to a counselor for years and he explained to me that I just had to let go of the guilt of leaving the farm. He told me that I was crippled by it and that it wasn't doing anyone any good.

    But with the way things are going with brexit and prices going down on meat and milk while prices are going up on cattle feed and fertilizer I don't think that I am missing out on any type of agricultural gold Rush so I'm hoping to learn about different types of farming enterprises and maybe diversify into new markets.

    My point is that once I stood back from my situation, I got to see a bigger picture and came to realise that since I will probably never get rich from farming, I may as well find a happier way to be poor.

    So yeah, that's basically how I'm doing!

    How are you?
    That's a great update. It's good to talk


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,641 ✭✭✭✭patsy_mccabe


    Delighted for you gr8 m8 and good luck with whatever road life takes you.

    'The Bishops blessed the Blueshirts in Galway, As they sailed beneath the Swastika to Spain'



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭Lurching


    That's an amazing transformation gr8 m8.
    Looking back now, if you could meet yourself three years ago, what one piece of advice would you give yourself?


  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭gr8 m8


    Hello.

    I've been thinking about it and it is proving to be a hard question to answer.

    I am afraid to say that I would probably give myself a good kick up the backside! Then explain that I was obviously not happy so it's time to make a change, starting with a heavy cull of animals.

    Select only my best producers that are able to thrive on minimal intervention, blood lines that don't usually get sick or are a bit wild and gives a calf every year!

    Concentrate on these to build an almost self sufficient herd that I don't really have to worry about because when I hear people saying that there is no money in cattle, I would be better off only loosing money on 10 animals instead of 50!

    Then find my end result for what I produce, weather it be weanlings, yearlings or finishers or something in between. But know the market for them inside out so as not to be taken advantage of because of my own ignorance!

    After that I would advise to not worry about other people's opinions of me and what I'm doing (or not doing) and lastly, invest heavily in the euro millions!


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,917 ✭✭✭✭whelan2


    Spent a good few hours today with someone having panic attacks. Her oh was gone to try to get meds to calm it down. Most frightening experience of my life. What do you do, panic mode sets in. A lot calmer this evening. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,066 ✭✭✭✭Water John


    Two TDs have gone public as living with this; Willie Penrose and Robert Troy. Can happen to anyone and is very frightening for the person esp the first time. They think the're having a heart attack and are going to die.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,917 ✭✭✭✭whelan2


    Water John wrote: »
    Two TDs have gone public as living with this; Willie Penrose and Robert Troy. Can happen to anyone and is very frightening for the person esp the first time. They think the're having a heart attack and are going to die.

    I was telling her to count backwards from 10. The first one was done in a second, then slowed it down. Wtf do you do?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,768 ✭✭✭Odelay


    Deep breaths. Three of them, in through the nose, out the mouth.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 28,917 ✭✭✭✭whelan2


    Highly recommend this book for the person going through it and those caring for them


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