What's the etiquette here??

Bullocks wrote: »

Bidet, Emmet. That's what you should treat yourself to. By the sounds of things you would get plenty of use out of it. If you hang on maybe the greens will bring out a grant for them to save the rainforest

Good shout, B.

I did consider “perching” over the side of the bath and going at “it” with the hose but, in the end, I felt the full force of the shower, coupled with some suds, would work best.

Anyway, I’m still not sold on bidet “etiquette”. Especially when it comes to “drying off”.

I’m sure I’ve asked this before, but is there a “communal” towel or an individual set and then, maybe, one for guests?

I wouldn’t fancy “drying” with toilet paper as I’ve found drying my hands with the stuff can be, well, difficult. Lots of bits left on the surface.

I know the, more modern, Japanese toilet, or bidet, probably comes with a drying “setting” but I’m talking about the, excuse the pun, “bog standard” home bidet.

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

I hope you didn't flush the wet wipes Emmet. Very bad for the environment. You shouldn't be buying them at all to be honest. There are places in darkest Africa where the countryside is full of wet wipes clogging up rivers and streams, hanging of trees, interfering with yams etc.

This was an emergency, U. Extenuating circumstances.

Now, first off, these wipes are the “flushable” kind. I understand that that doesn’t make them any better for the environment but they are better than the “regular” ones. I’ll admit I did go through nearly half a packet but, as I said, it was an emergency.

Rest-assured, I shall endeavour to “offset” the excessive usage via other avenues.

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

Typically families will share the towel Emmet, much the same as a hand towel. At least where I've travelled.

Ugh, I’m not a fan of that. I’d like my own towel, please.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Now, first off, these wipes are the “flushable” kind.

They're not really, though. Still a quick route to an appointment with Dyno-Rod.

Just spit on the double velvet, it cuts through the layers with ease.

Be careful you don’t poke a finger through as it dies affect the structural integrity of the TP

We use Kittensoft Velvet Dreams or whatever it's called. Ignore the soft cushioned side though, the flat textured side is usually the one you want

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hairdryer Emmett, one foot on the floor one on the pot, setting lowish and keep a good spread ………. happy days.

No sockets allowed in the jacks in this country though.

This is where the Europeans are way head of the game- bidets. Makes up for the rubbish sewerage system where you cannot flush papers down the toilet. But then again better for the environment.

My parents had one installed when they built the house in the mid-80s (now gone). I only ever used it for washing my football boots as a young lad.

partyguinness wrote: »

This is where the Europeans are way head of the game- bidets. Makes up for the rubbish sewerage system where you cannot flush papers down the toilet. But then again better for the environment.

My parents had one installed when they built the house in the mid-80s (now gone). I only ever used it for washing my football boots as a young lad.

Not sold on the bidet tbh. No one washes their car using water only. You will still need a sponge or brush to get the dirt off. Must be the same as the sheriff's badge. Surely just directing a stream of water at the badge won't do much. You're still going to have to do some sort of extra cleaning to get it ready for the road again.

Was on Grafton Street earlier, needed a dump and havn't been impressed with the Brown Thomas facilities of late. M&S are not particularly nice so made it quick smart up to the Westbury.

Another very pleasant experience, wife is sick at the moment so no 'entertainment' last night for Valentines so took advantage of the nice surroundings and no kids with me for a leisurely Thomas the tank.

Highly recommended.

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Filthy kernt :mad:

Hey, had to take advantage of the warm quiet surroundings. Nothing to be ashamed of.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

All depends on where you “went”. Splooging all over the seat, back of the door, the walls or, even, on the floor is just not cool. At all.

The best course of action is to employ the use of a “tulip”, the “wankerchief” would be a close second.

The key really is not leaving “clumps” of your DNA all over place. Dried jizz looks disgusting on white tile.

Oh l get you now - I'd never leave jizz anywhere where it can be seen, now that would be unsavoury behaviour.

It was a seated job until the moment of near release, stand up and shoot into the throne and flush, job done and nobody knows the wiser.

Anyway back on topic, they really are nice facilities.

Fireball81 wrote: »

Oh l get you now - I'd never leave jizz anywhere where it can be seen, now that would be unsavoury behaviour.

It was a seated job until the moment of near release, stand up and shoot into the throne and flush, job done and nobody knows the wiser.

Anyway back on topic, they really are nice facilities.

Have to say that what you’re doing is just plain reckless. All is takes is one stray “rope” and there’ll be an “off-white” stain going down the underside of the lid, or on the back tiles. Vile to look at.

Now, I’m assuming you’re taking the “rifleman” stance, one knee on the floor, when you approach the bowl? And that you’re pointing the “muzzle” towards the water. Even so, things can be unpredictable when you’re reaching the “vinegar strokes”.

I really think you should be using a “tulip”, some call it the “champagne flute” but that’s just tacky. What you do is you take a load of toilet paper and wrap it around left, or weaker, hand. Then you grasp the end at the finger tips and twist, this becomes the “stem”.

Once you ease your hand out your left with a open area with a sealed bottom. This allows for maximum “collection” without any spill.

Even if you’re one of those who has to “frube” out that squibbly custard you won’t end up leaving any traces, although you might want to start drinking a lot more water.

While I may not approve of what you’re doing I will wish you well with your future “endeavours”.

Fireball81 wrote: »

Was on Grafton Street earlier, needed a dump and havn't been impressed with the Brown Thomas facilities of late. M&S are not particularly nice so made it quick smart up to the Westbury.

Another very pleasant experience, wife is sick at the moment so no 'entertainment' last night for Valentines so took advantage of the nice surroundings and no kids with me for a leisurely Thomas the tank.

Highly recommended.

Tell us the truth now. There was no "dump" requirement at all, was there?

All them young wans out innocently shopping along Grafton Quarter got the blood pumping, and you had to make it quick sharp someplace for an Allied Irish