You see a lost child in a shop. What would you do?

circadian · 28-04-2015 07:08AM

Parent sounds like a tool to be fair. Lets the child wander off and then immediately accuses someone of trying to steal said child.

Junkyard Tom · 28-04-2015 07:10AM

If I saw a child on his/her own I think I'd scream and run away in the opposite direction.

Teyla Emmagan · 28-04-2015 07:10AM

I found a little girl running around M&S by herself a while ago. She was clearly alone so I just trailed after her for 10 minutes and made sure she didn't pull anything down on her head or run into the car park. She was about 2 and didn't seem to be able to talk (at least she wouldn't talk to me). Eventually we passed a young fella and I asked him to call his manager. His manager appeared and decided to bring her to customer services. Once she picked her up the little girl started screaming like she was being murdered. I have never heard anything like it, the whole shop turned around. I still don't know if her parents turned up, but I presume they did.

Zamboni · 28-04-2015 07:11AM

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

So my advice to any men/people who want to help a lost child. Don't touch it but just stand there and make it known you are looking for the parent. Even say: 'Lost child, there's a lost child here'.

Spot on.
I'd even stand about 3 metres away from the child in front of the nearest cctv for good measure too.

I swindled the NSA · 28-04-2015 07:14AM

John_D80 wrote: »

You're picking up a few bits in the drapery section in Dunnes

People still do this ?

One eyed Jack · 28-04-2015 07:16AM

Zamboni wrote: »

Spot on.
I'd even stand about 3 metres away from the child in front of the nearest cctv for good measure too.

:pac:

Why? What's a child going to do, attack you? :pac:

There's an awful lot of "society says" on this thread. These are the same people who in another thread will berate adults for not thinking for themselves :rolleyes:

Zamboni · 28-04-2015 07:26AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

:pac:

Why? What's a child going to do, attack you?

I'd be making it quite evident to the CCTV staff that I'm trying to get their attention and not trying I rob a baby for the Sunday roast.

strobe · 28-04-2015 07:32AM

The fear that a woman upon seeing a man speaking to or walking with their lost child in a crowded supermarket, will immediately tear the arm off the nearest mannequin and savagely attack him whilst hysterically screaming "he's raping my baby!!!! ", is as ludicrous as the fear that any man that approaches a child wants to touch it's fun parts.

Most people aren't wacky gibbering morons.

For every story like the one in the OP there are several hundred where the guy stops and asks the child if it's lost, takes it by the hand to take it to the customer service desk, and the mother happens along before they get there, and what happens is she smiles, says thanks, rolls her eyes and makes reference to the kid being a little nightmare to keep your eye on. And then the world keeps spinning on its axis.

Hands up how many women here upon losing their kid in a supermarket, and seeing a man with him after, would immediately wail and sob and call interpol. Let's get a head count.

See the fvcking fnords.

I'd walk over. Ask if they are lost. And if so tell them I'd help them find their mam or dad and take them to the customer service desk so they could call them over the sound system. Nothing's gonna happen.

keithclancy · 28-04-2015 07:36AM

If it was Germany or Holland I'd ask the child directly if they were lost and if they said yes I would ask loudly if anyone owns this child, then take them to the Information desk.

In Ireland its hard to know as Paedo Mania is fairly common.

FFS I brought my Nephew to a park once and was pushing him on the swings a woman came over and asked if he was ok. :rolleyes:

If I was a woman it would probably be a different story.

Akrasia · 28-04-2015 07:36AM

I keep my kids overfed and unwashed to make them as sexually unattractive as possible for when we inevitably lose them in the local x rated video store

It's only fair to give them a fighting chance

Cold War Kid · 28-04-2015 07:50AM

Detached Retina wrote: »

I'd be as worried about a female abductor as male - you hear all the stories in the news of late about women abducting babies, even going as far as tricking women and cutting babies out of their belly!

You don't really hear all those stories in the news of late.

The mass majority of male shoppers in a supermarket are normal as you'd think:rolleyes:, and from what I've noticed increasingly doty with them. I have some great guys help calm down my little girls shop melt downs lately!

Absolutely. People who think all men are paedophiles are the problem.

28-04-2015 07:52AM

I'm a bloke in my late 20's with no children of my own. I'd absolutely stay with the child. I'd talk to him/her and try help them. Anyone who wants to accuse me of anything can say what they damn well please. Take thirty seconds to speak to me and you'll see I'm doing what's right. I'd rather a brief misunderstanding than some bloody guilt ridden life of anything happened to a 2 year old because I'm afraid of what some stranger might think. Poor James Bolger not mean anything to anyone? Also, it would be a bit rich of a parent to start on at you when they're the one that last the child. I have two little nephews and I'd be fuming if anything happened to them because someone was afraid to speak up. F*ck that.

Buona Fortuna · 28-04-2015 07:52AM

Is it a cute kid?

Because not all of them are.

Balmed Out · 28-04-2015 07:52AM

Cant get over the attitudes. I have a kid whos constantly trying his best to run away and get lost. He has yet to manage to get out of my sight but there's always a man or woman who will stop smile and make sure someones looking after him.

I once found a toddler on a local street. He had gone out the back door of a cafe/pub to what at night is a beer garden and through a normally closed gate. I went into a few shops letting each one know the story and the mother caught up with us fairly quickly as someone in one of the first shops said it in the cafe. Got a big thanks and still get a wave whenever I pass her.

charlietheminxx · 28-04-2015 07:54AM

This thread is actually making me depressed.

I would help the child, I just can't believe how many people wouldn't.

looksee · 28-04-2015 07:55AM

No, its not a different story if you are a woman. I have seen a few 'loose' children in supermarkets but usually hover some distance away to see if they get 'found'. The last time I found a very small child, only just walking, obviously lost. I spoke to the child, he was obviously worried but hadn't got to the bawling stage. When I spoke to him he put his arms up to be picked up, which was the easiest way to get him into a more populated area of the shop, and I was quite near the checkouts. So I picked him up and carried him over to the checkouts where I was just handing him over to a member of staff when the mother appeared - I assume she was the mother -but she glared at me, snatched the child and stomped off.

In this situation the obvious solution is to have the child in the trolly, in a buggy or on reins. People get totally irrational about reins on children, but I really don't see the problem.

CruelCoin · 28-04-2015 07:58AM

charlietheminxx wrote: »

This thread is actually making me depressed.

I would help the child, I just can't believe how many people wouldn't.

People (men mostly) would stop ignoring lost kids if we weren't being accused of being molesters whenever we step within five yards of a child.

I have just moved into a (rather lovely) estate and my house is on the end of a cul-de-sac. Issue here is that kids love to play football around here, and i ****ing hate driving in, because i have to drive right up to them to park the car at my house.
I'm just waiting for the day a hysterical neighbour accuses me of being a molestor. I'm dreading it, but its an oncoming train...

AudreyHepburn · 28-04-2015 07:59AM

In an ideal world man should be able to take the child by the hand without fear of being branded a monster and bring them to shop security or some-one else who can help them.

Sadly in today's world we are a point where men can hardly even breath near a child because they might be accused of being a child molester.

It's sad really, and I think it's an attitude that harms children because it teaches them to be afraid of all grown men and to think that all women are goodness and light...both of which are dangerous attitudes to have.

Balmed Out · 28-04-2015 08:00AM

looksee wrote: »

In this situation the obvious solution is to have the child in the trolly, in a buggy or on reins. People get totally irrational about reins on children, but I really don't see the problem.

My guy will bawl incessantly on a reign. Just because the mother was an idiot doesn't mean you didn't do the right thing.

28-04-2015 08:06AM

charlietheminxx wrote: »

This thread is actually making me depressed.

I would help the child, I just can't believe how many people wouldn't.

Selfish cowards if you ask me. "Ooh I'm afraid what someone might say or think". I don't like this phrase generally but Man Up! Some men are ridiculously good with kids and I love to see it. Your attitude will show you're just being a decent person.

"I'd walk on, it's nothing to do with me." Really hope that mantra isn't reciprocated towards you if you've said this. Imagine someone saying the following to you... Yeah I saw your kid wandering off there towards the busy main road but sure look, social stigma and all that...

CarpeDiem85 · 28-04-2015 08:07AM

I have been the lost child before and it is a terrifying experience, especially if you're in a clothes shop and when you look up, all you see are tall clothes and no way out. It'll be like a maze for a small child. My Mum had 5 of us to look after and we were all close in age so losing one of us every now and again was inevitable. My younger sister in particular was always doing a runner and I definitely remember hearing a lost child being found over the tannoy, i.e, my sister.

As a mother now, I'd be frantic if I lost my child and I'd like to think someone would keep an eye on or help my child if she ever got lost. Hopefully it'll never happen.

FactCheck · 28-04-2015 08:10AM

John_D80 wrote: »

A friend of mine found himself in the awful situation recently of being accused of attempting to abduct a child that he had seen wandering alone through Dunnes. Just as he was about to pick the child up to bring him to find his mother she appeared and started screaming at him. Guards were called etc. and he ended up having to explain himself for over an hour before he was allowed to go on his way.

See, here's the thing.

I don't believe you. Maybe it's just your mate has codded you. Or maybe you didn't think your OP had enough punch, so you thought you'd embellish a little story at the end to stop people in their tracks. But I don't actually believe for a moment that the Guards interviewed your friend for an HOUR in Dunnes because they suspected him of trying to abduct a child he hadn't even touched. I might believe a frightened mother started roaring at him out of tension and embarrassment. But I don't believe that Dunnes called the cops, or that the cops took an hour to sort it out. It's a fib.

And you know how I know? Because in the real world, the actual Ireland of 2015, men who help lost children are not in fact called paedos and harassed by the police. They get glowing commendations in the Irish Times. The country calls them a hero.

That guy, by the way, was not in a shop in the middle of the day. It was the middle of the night with nobody else around, and he took his own clothes off to warm the kid up. And not a single person pointed a finger at him - quite rightfully, he got a ton of praise.

That's what actually happens when adults help out little children in need. And all these fevered imaginings "ooooh I'd never help a kid, my life would be over, I bet blah blah blah" (and I'm not talking about just the OP, but everyone here who's had a go "imagining" what might happen to them) that is the problem. You are the ones creating the narrative that it's dangerous to help children. Not "society". "Society" writes editorials in the Irish Times calling people heroes. You.

So get back in the real world, and stop making the world a more dangerous place - for men, and for little kids.

One eyed Jack · 28-04-2015 08:10AM

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

In an ideal world man should be able to take the child by the hand without fear of being branded a monster and bring them to shop security or some-one else who can help them.

Sadly in today's world we are a point where men can hardly even breath near a child because they might be accused of being a child molester.

It's sad really, and I think it's an attitude that harms children because it teaches them to be afraid of all grown men and to think that all women are goodness and light...both of which are dangerous attitudes to have.

Nah, sadly we live in a world where some people give more of a damn about their own ego and what strangers may think of them than they do about child safety. Honestly, it's nothing more than pure paranoia on that person's part and they should be the person held responsible for their attitude rather than blaming "society" :rolleyes:

Akrasia · 28-04-2015 08:12AM

I have 3 kids under the age of 6, the youngest is 2 soon, all of them are able to walk, all of them are more than capable of getting lost in a shopping center, especially when it's very busy like at christmas.

If one of my kids got seperated and we could't find them, we would hugely appreciate any help from well meaning strangers to bring them to the service desk or return them to us if they saw us looking frantically for the child.

The attitude of the 'general public' that they should 'not get involved' and leave the kids alone to be lost and vulnerable makes it more likely (or should I say less unlikely) that some opportunistic pervert could get their hands on them, or that they could end up falling down the stairs or escalator or out in the street where they could be hit by a car...

If you do find a lost child who is otherwise healthy and well cared for, just return it to somewhere it can be reunited with it's parents. There's no need to berate the parent for losing the child, or call the cops, or social services. Most parents already know that they f*cked up this time and don't need a lecture from a holier than thou stranger, and will be grateful that they got away with the mistake this time and hopefully won't make the same mistake again.

28-04-2015 08:12AM

Depraved wrote: »

But in western countries, everyone seems to be under the impression that 'all males are potential child abusers and shouldn't even look in a childs direction'.

Very very sad, especially when you consider that child abduction, for whatever reason, is probably the rarest of rare crimes.

LeBash · 28-04-2015 08:17AM

I never would have thought twice about grabbing the baby and bringing it to a staff member. Thanks for making me more cyinical about the world after hours!

FactCheck · 28-04-2015 08:20AM

Every person who spreads unfounded hysteria that you are likely to be accused of being a child molester because you helped a lost child, is just as guilty of causing this problem as the people who spread unfounded hysteria about Dunnes Stores being full of potential abductors.

Every time you invent this paranoid narrative, and share it with others, you are perpetuating it. And it has no basis in reality.

Akrasia · 28-04-2015 08:21AM

CruelCoin wrote: »

People (men mostly) would stop ignoring lost kids if we weren't being accused of being molesters whenever we step within five yards of a child.

I have just moved into a (rather lovely) estate and my house is on the end of a cul-de-sac. Issue here is that kids love to play football around here, and i ****ing hate driving in, because i have to drive right up to them to park the car at my house.
I'm just waiting for the day a hysterical neighbour accuses me of being a molestor. I'm dreading it, but its an oncoming train...

How many times did you accuse anyone else of being a child molestor, how many times did any of your family or friends accuse an innocent person of being a child molestor? It is an extremely rare thing that people are randomly accused of molesting children without any evidence.

Honestly, Stop reading the Daily Mirror and watching Jeremy Kyle. These publications are generating a false fear, a false impression that ordinary people are all ignorant scumbags who are out to do over other people.

The problem with paedophelia is that parents are often too trusting and don't see the signs and are often hugely reluctant to make any kind of accusations without having a very good reason to.

The 'class' of people who go around making false accusations are usually, the 'class' of people who are already well known for being unreliable. by 'class' i mean people who don't have any (not people of any particular income level)

the groutch · 28-04-2015 08:22AM

Akrasia wrote: »

The attitude of the 'general public' that they should 'not get involved' and leave the kids alone to be lost and vulnerable makes it more likely (or should I say less unlikely) that some opportunistic pervert could get their hands on them, or that they could end up falling down the stairs or escalator or out in the street where they could be hit by a car.

yeah, it saddens me that the attitude of some parents of every man being a potential pedophile is indirectly putting their kids at greater risk.

FactCheck · 28-04-2015 08:22AM

CruelCoin wrote: »

People (men mostly) would stop ignoring lost kids if we weren't being accused of being molesters whenever we step within five yards of a child.

I have just moved into a (rather lovely) estate and my house is on the end of a cul-de-sac. Issue here is that kids love to play football around here, and i ****ing hate driving in, because i have to drive right up to them to park the car at my house.
I'm just waiting for the day a hysterical neighbour accuses me of being a molestor. I'm dreading it, but its an oncoming train...

This is insane. Is this sarcasm? You genuinely think that it is inevitable that you will be accused of molesting some random neighbour's child you have never even spoken to?

You are infinitely more likely to hit one of them with your car while you are distracted having Walter Mitty victimisation fantasies.

You see a lost child in a shop. What would you do?

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