Be still my beating heart

Ososlo wrote: »

Sunday 29 March
Dunboyne 4 Mile
33 mins (Happy? Course not... )

First time doing this distance. Not a goal race or anything but just to gain some more race experience and try to help overcome my racing fear by putting myself on the line once a month. I liked the fact that this was a new distance to me, so hoped to feel a bit less pressure and also I liked the fact that it was on in the afternoon so I'd be able to sleep on this morning if I'd had a poor night and I'd be able to eat something really decent 4 hours prior to the race with hours and hours for digestion which might help avoid the stitch problem.
Got a really helpful email from the boss man the previous night going through each mile of the courses and a detailed strategy for dealing with the wind for almost every step of the race. Seriously, he needs to up his fee
Above and beyond... Thanks again.

I set a few goal times but the main goal today was for race experience and to aim to race relaxed, and to put in a good effort in a race setting.
I knew the wind would have an impact on my time so tried to talk myself out of stressing about it.

Got there 1.5 hours before the race so registered, went to the loo and then sat in the car for an hour. I would have gone for a walk but the rain was quite heavy.
Then the bloody nerves started to really get intense. I was so stressed I actually started crying. This is so embarrassing and I'm not sure I should be putting it in here but after a chat with AMK afterwards, I decided to be honest and log it as it is as I want my log to be a 100% honest account of my running. (Ososlo avoids Boards Beers and meeting any more Boardsies again forevermore)
I'd read lots of tips and advice on dealing with nerves and accepting them during the week and thought I was handling it fairly well up to an hour and a half before the race. Why the press and stressure, sorry, stress and pressure- I've gad a few! Ridiculous to feel that way over a stupid race that no one in the world cares about how I do except me...
Played Sudoku on my phone to try and distract myself for a bit and really got into it and bagged a PB time and got onto the Leaderboard in the advanced level so I thought that might bode well for what was ahead... ha ha ha...

Dried the tears (waterproof mascara thankfully so little damage done!) and headed off for the warmup.
2 mile warm up progressing from 10min pace to 7:45 min pace and then 4 x 30 sec strides just before the off. Trying to ignore the howling wind.. At least the rain stopped.
Was waiting in the pen for what seemed like an age before the gun went off. I never wished more that I'd had my headphones on. The chattering all around me was grating on my nerves and really bothering me. Everyone seemed to be so happy and carefree and laughing and joking. Why was I seemingly the only one near me taking it so seriously? Then I started to feel really hemmed in and claustrophobic. I was way too hot and just wanted to get out and almost just bailed...Couldn't breath... The gun couldn't come quickly enough.

Ignored the watch as I knew from the start that this wasn't gonna be pretty so didn't want to be too disheartened. Just ran the best I could by feel.

First 2 miles I felt weak. Not sure what was up with me. Was running alone for most of it so couldn't get any group shelter. There were long stretches which were very exposed on the main road. The group in front was too far ahead and didn't want to sprint to catch up and die a death. I had hoped these miles would be in the 7:45 range as it certainly felt like that effort. Not to be in actuality ...
Miles 1&2 8.05, 8.08. I usually enjoy the first mile at least of any race I've done but I didn't enjoy any of today.
Third mile I should have been able to make up some time as the wind was behind me but I still felt sick and had the beginnings of a stitch which I didn't want to develop into a full blown one so just took it fairly easy- 8.11
Nightmare last mile. 8.31. Similar to Rathcoffey regarding the stitch and thoughts of DNFing crossed my mind more than once, especially when I passed the car. Death-march to the end battling the wind, the stitch and my demons telling me to just stop running and pull out. I did somehow manage a little spurt towards the finish line at 7.11 pace for the last few mins coming into the village.
Felt perfect immediately afterwards so I'll recover quickly from this one.
No point in saying I wasn't disappointed. Worse case scenario today would have been 32 mins so a min slower than that was disappointing to say the least.
Anyways, that's another one under the belt and I'll chalk it all down to experience. Not gonna beat myself up over it as I'm still amazed I didn't drop out. It would have been so easy. When you know you're on for a cr*p time from early on in the race it's very very hard to keep any momentum up for the rest of the race. I really feel now that the stress is bringing on the stitch. It's nothing to do with food or drink or tight muscles. I think it's just nerves.

And then there was the wind of course... Times in general seem to be slower than other years so it was never gonna be great for me today.

It is what it is for today. Tomorrow will be better as Zeus is my witness..I am far better than this. As for Zephyrus, well he can just **** off...

Got a shout out from Wowzer during the race and chatted to him after. Great to meet a new Boardsie for a chat. He got me at a really bad time though as I was feeling very disheartened at the time after just crossing the finish line. I'm not normally as - 'vague' as that...
Did 2 mile warm down and met AMK doing similar and we had a good long chat about the race and recent shenanigans around this place. Thanks A you really helped me put things into perspective today. It was a pleasure to chat.

Weekly total: 36 miles
Now back to more "pointless sessions" and "high mileage"! Just the way I like it. BRING IT ON!

AuldManKing wrote: »

Say hello next time

Duanington wrote: »

Fair play to you A - I think we all underestimate just how big the mental side of this running\training\racing craic is - obviously for some, its no bother at all...they just rock up to the start line and run. For the rest of us mortals, there's usually a whole range of conversations to be had with those doubting devils that lurk in the shadows!

I don't know what your various running targets were for the day but to be honest, the actual running result should come secondary.... overcoming the situation that unfolded by finishing as strong as you did HAS to be a good result. Well done.

menoscemo wrote: »

I think Gavlor is being misconstrued here (we all know him he is a straight shooter and has good intentions).
Sometimes I do think there is way too much backslapping on a lot of logs and I don't think it does anyone any good. When something is not going right, people should feel free to point it out without being rounded on. You guys should have seen the logs a few years ago, way more debate and calling people out when appropriate.

Anyway, unlucky today, it think it was pretty windy which wouldn't have helped times. Just on training; I notice you do most sessions well above actual race pace. While I know you are doing them on feel and would like to be racing faster, maybe it would be an idea to dial back the pace on sessions a tad to reflect actual paces? I think sometimes taking one step back like that can help you take 2 steps forward.