Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Kunkka · 01-12-2014 10:24am

Carpet diem wrote: »

Travelling with work it and amazes to ses people having a pint or two in airport even guys with suits on them.

Doesnt botter me as just an observation.

Had a decent week of meetings and Will get one while im away hopefully.

Just focussing on today and the rest should take care of itself.

Well done.

Keep with the meetings I can even see the difference in you with your posts.

Carpet diem · 04-12-2014 9:14am

Didn't get meeting in this week due to it being a mad week . Will get some in at the week. Tiredness can be a killer , need to watch out for that anymore .

Hope everyone is getting on well

Kunkka · 04-12-2014 10:36am

Carpet diem wrote: »

Didn't get meeting in this week due to it being a mad week . Will get some in at the week. Tiredness can be a killer , need to watch out for that anymore .

Hope everyone is getting on well

Avoid being H.A.L.T

Hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Makes that one day at a time a little harder!

auldgranny · 04-12-2014 8:09pm

Kunkka wrote: »

Avoid being H.A.L.T

Hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Makes that one day at a time a little harder!

That is really true. Never thought of it before but yes those are weakness points for me.

Abcxyz12345 · 06-12-2014 10:19am

I'm feeling a bit disconnected from it all at the moment. I'm not talking to other alcoholics or in meetings. I have numbers of great people in AA & I've a lady who I've begun doing steps/book with too - but I'm not ringing any of them. And sometimes I want to. I keep saying I'm grand etc. I don't want to drink so that's not a crisis but I feel a bit flat now & I'm worried I'm isolating myself. I know there would be no problem in ringing them and I've been told this - 'why didn't you ring me?' - but I don't know what's stopping me. Any advice on this one?!

Amazingfun · 06-12-2014 10:34am

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

I'm feeling a bit disconnected from it all at the moment. I'm not talking to other alcoholics or in meetings. I have numbers of great people in AA & I've a lady who I've begun doing steps/book with too - but I'm not ringing any of them. And sometimes I want to. I keep saying I'm grand etc. I don't want to drink so that's not a crisis but I feel a bit flat now & I'm worried I'm isolating myself. I know there would be no problem in ringing them and I've been told this - 'why didn't you ring me?' - but I don't know what's stopping me. Any advice on this one?!

Why do you have to ring anyone? Why not just get to a meeting today? I only rang people once I got to know them a bit really.

Sometimes we just have to get up and start moving....tell your mind you're going shopping or something and then turn suddenly into a meeting haha....I had to do this kind of weird thing a lot in the beginning

Abcxyz12345 · 06-12-2014 11:05am

I don't know. It's like I'm given numbers by nice people & they're saying to me to ring anytime... Sometimes I think that's why I'm not ringing them-because I don't really know them that well & Id feel a bit awkward. I did ring someone before when I had to go to an event with alcohol & I just wanted to sound that out and that was good. I kind of feel there is an expectation to ring others if I'm upset or off. Like when I say it to someone that i felt that way when I see them & they'll say 'why didn't you ring me?'! I dunno. Thanks Amazinfun... Feelin a little muddled the past few days!

Amazingfun wrote: »

Why do you have to ring anyone? Why not just get to a meeting today? I only rang people once I got to know them a bit really.

Sometimes we just have to get up and start moving....tell your mind you're going shopping or something and then turn suddenly into a meeting haha....I had to do this kind of weird thing a lot in the beginning

Amazingfun · 06-12-2014 11:14am

you're doing fine....feelin muddled is part of the territory lol...

Honestly I've never been much of an AA "phone" person although I do have a new sponsee who loves loooooong phone chats haha so I have been of late but I don't think I've ever really called anyone when I felt crap. I prefer to meet for a coffee or whatever -usually before or after a meeting. And sometimes I would even go to a meeting where I didn't know anyone so I didn't have to talk if I didn't feel like it !

There are no phone "requirements" in AA lol...we do what works for us. My suggestion is just to find a meeting you like and start becoming part of the furniture. Go even when you don't feel like it. You'll make friends in time and then it won't feel so weird phoning people. It's early days-no need to put expectations on yourself when really-there are none.

Abcxyz12345 · 06-12-2014 11:49am

Thank you Amazinfun. I'm just beginning to return to meetings that I like now & feel like I've a bit of a routine going for myself - Mondays I go to a certain one & Tuesdays a certain one. So I'm seeing familiar faces and hopefully I'll become one too. I had been thinking there is an expectation to ring others but I'm just not comfortable in doing that just yet. I do know that I can if I need to tho & I have done before so that's reassuring. Thank you!

Amazingfun wrote: »

you're doing fine....feelin muddled is part of the territory lol...

Honestly I've never been much of an AA "phone" person although I do have a new sponsee who loves loooooong phone chats haha so I have been of late but I don't think I've ever really called anyone when I felt crap. I prefer to meet for a coffee or whatever -usually before or after a meeting. And sometimes I would even go to a meeting where I didn't know anyone so I didn't have to talk if I didn't feel like it !

There are no phone "requirements" in AA lol...we do what works for us. My suggestion is just to find a meeting you like and start becoming part of the furniture. Go even when you don't feel like it. You'll make friends in time and then it won't feel so weird phoning people. It's early days-no need to put expectations on yourself when really-there are none.

Amazingfun · 06-12-2014 11:58am

Just to remind you and anyone reading that AA-online can be useful when we just can't make ourselves get out the door somedays.

Back in my early days (pre-internet) I would have died and gone to heaven to have sites like this:

(Bob's just one example....loads more on there if he's not your cup of tea.)

There are actual online meetings as well....bunch of em if you google. When I was ill for a time I used them quite a lot but I much prefer being part of a face to face group.

ANyways: enjoy the weekend

Sunnyisland · 06-12-2014 9:26pm

My major tool in getting alcohol free was an online site, I found it great,having said that I now go to AA/CA meetings here in Portugal in which I find them also great ,just in case I might get a tiny tiny bit complacent .

dynamited · 07-12-2014 8:11pm

I lasted 38 days but cracked last week and got absolutely slaughtered ,I've been regretting it ever since because I have had the fear all week, depressed, agitated , been in a bad mood all round.

I need to stop but I can't find anything to do and I have no life if I don't drink because I work during the week and all my mates drink the weekend and I'm single

dynamited · 07-12-2014 8:11pm

Why

Abcxyz12345 · 07-12-2014 11:44pm

I had a lot of anxiety re being single with all of my friends out drinking at weekends. For me tho, continuing drinking was just not an option anymore - I was broken both mentally & physically & more. I go to AA meetings on Friday, Sat & Sun evenings. Usually at 8.30pm & by the time I get home it's near ten & then it's nearly bedtime. It's very early days for me & I'm trying very hard to keep each day simple. In one way I hope this routine does not last forever but I'm also not beating myself up for doing this at the moment as it's what I need. That's just my experience. Good luck

dynamited wrote: »

I lasted 38 days but cracked last week and got absolutely slaughtered ,I've been regretting it ever since because I have had the fear all week, depressed, agitated , been in a bad mood all round.

I need to stop but I can't find anything to do and I have no life if I don't drink because I work during the week and all my mates drink the weekend and I'm single

Amazingfun · 08-12-2014 12:16am

dynamited wrote: »

I lasted 38 days but cracked last week and got absolutely slaughtered ,I've been regretting it ever since because I have had the fear all week, depressed, agitated , been in a bad mood all round.

I need to stop but I can't find anything to do and I have no life if I don't drink because I work during the week and all my mates drink the weekend and I'm single

Dynamited,

I've been there and so have many others. It's not nice I know but it's all part of the process of coming to see that the party with booze is over for us.
The days of fun and lighthearted drinking are long gone, never to return.

What you descibed there above reminded me of this from The Big Book:

We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn't apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people -

In AA we'd call this "untreated alcoholism"and,yes, it sucks. It's how many of us feel once we put the drink down and is part of coming to understand that alcohol no longer works as a solution.
But there is a way out.

I hope you come along to a meeting and see if AA is for you. For me it has opened to the gates to a new life-one of contented sobriety where I always have "something to do"

There are lots of people just like you who have found a way to live happily sober....but for every one of us we had to hit rock bottom (sometimes many rock bottoms as in my own case) before we really got serious about our drinking.

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

Allister_M · 12-12-2014 12:35am

Amazingfun wrote: »

Dynamited,

I've been there and so have many others. It's not nice I know but it's all part of the process of coming to see that the party with booze is over for us.
The days of fun and lighthearted drinking are long gone, never to return.

What you descibed there above reminded me of this from The Big Book:

In AA we'd call this "untreated alcoholism"and,yes, it sucks. It's how many of us feel once we put the drink down and is part of coming to understand that alcohol no longer works as a solution.
But there is a way out.

I hope you come along to a meeting and see if AA is for you. For me it has opened to the gates to a new life-one of contented sobriety where I always have "something to do" There are lots of people just like you who have found a way to live happily sober....but for every one of us we had to hit rock bottom (sometimes many rock bottoms as in my own case) before we really got serious about our drinking.

So true I used to think when I was drinking I was actually competing with Vinny Jones or Paul Gascoine and that the harder I punished myself the better I was doing for Ireland - like I was actually doing Ireland a service - it's amazing the stupid childish ways we convince ourselves to hurt ourselves is in some way good for other people - it isn't - helping people is the best way to help your country.

But I genuinely have given up now becuase the depression took over and it is a war I am now fighting with depression like a visible feelable war with a living thing - it's not chemicals it's like a paranoia or living "god" spirit I am fighting against - sppoky though it sounds and I came to the conclusion if the problems wasn't internally with me it must be coming from other people and that if that is the case - how do I get these bad vibes/peoples' energies to stop being sent my way??? I figured that each day fear takes me over and I can feel it's energy coming from other people who are praying for sobriety or hurt or suffering loved ones people I have indirectly never known or some i have but are sending bad vibes via prayer and it results in depression for me that i need to stop hurting them. That's in reality who I was hurting in this country through my drinking - people who had loved ones sick from alcoholism whom I didn't know directly but were praying for their sick loved ones - I can feel them driving me through this depression to give up.

I genuinely believe in the twelve steps higher power is people you have come into contact with or just enemies who want you to fail - will be praying against you for being a drinker - and to seek forgiveness not from people I have hurt but from people who have a competition with you or who have suffered from alcoholism are praying to punish you - and I believe it works - not a chemical thing from alcohol being a depressant - a spiritual thing which controls all of us. That's why I'm giving up - because I can't compete with these people any more by being jack the lad whilst these people are getting ahead in their lives and I'm falling further behind in mine. Peace will come through submission or the path the drinker walks is to doom.

lufties · 14-12-2014 9:54am

Allister_M wrote: »

So true I used to think when I was drinking I was actually competing with Vinny Jones or Paul Gascoine and that the harder I punished myself the better I was doing for Ireland - like I was actually doing Ireland a service - it's amazing the stupid childish ways we convince ourselves to hurt ourselves is in some way good for other people - it isn't - helping people is the best way to help your country.

But I genuinely have given up now becuase the depression took over and it is a war I am now fighting with depression like a visible feelable war with a living thing - it's not chemicals it's like a paranoia or living "god" spirit I am fighting against - sppoky though it sounds and I came to the conclusion if the problems wasn't internally with me it must be coming from other people and that if that is the case - how do I get these bad vibes/peoples' energies to stop being sent my way??? I figured that each day fear takes me over and I can feel it's energy coming from other people who are praying for sobriety or hurt or suffering loved ones people I have indirectly never known or some i have but are sending bad vibes via prayer and it results in depression for me that i need to stop hurting them. That's in reality who I was hurting in this country through my drinking - people who had loved ones sick from alcoholism whom I didn't know directly but were praying for their sick loved ones - I can feel them driving me through this depression to give up.

I genuinely believe in the twelve steps higher power is people you have come into contact with or just enemies who want you to fail - will be praying against you for being a drinker - and to seek forgiveness not from people I have hurt but from people who have a competition with you or who have suffered from alcoholism are praying to punish you - and I believe it works - not a chemical thing from alcohol being a depressant - a spiritual thing which controls all of us. That's why I'm giving up - because I can't compete with these people any more by being jack the lad whilst these people are getting ahead in their lives and I'm falling further behind in mine. Peace will come through submission or the path the drinker walks is to doom.

This has struck a chord with me too, I still drink but have cut down a huge amount(3 drinks in a night instead of 8) I think my drinking was at its worst when I lived in ireland. Getting absolutely hammered is like a religion. I felt my peers could do it and not really have any probs, but I always suffered, sometimes spending 2-3 days in bed after a heavy night. I recently cut myself off from a lot of people in my past and its been liberating. Also through therapy I feel like a new person.

Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

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