What was your festival portaloo experience like?

Have you ever watched Schindlers list?
Remember the scene where the kid was hiding under the latrine?
There you go.

Well I'm gonna respond anyway, in spite of the smell of a tabloid off this.....

The key to festival toilets is timing. Early morning is best as you get the choice of loos and you get to pick the least sensory offensive one. EP for me always starts out great, as in for the first few hours, then they are awful, even though they get 'deep cleaned' daily. The other thing I do is I take a mental map of location and level of activity, then I know Toilet X is quiet and just cleaned at X time, toilet Y is...... and so on and so on.

I may be a weirdo, but toilets at festivals are a major issue for me, I'd rather hold and wait until I know something is clean or not too busy. And that's just portaloos, those semi-circular urinals where your basically looking at other lads pissing are a joke, what about us poor shy bladder lads Also, they are normally in plain view of the women in the queue for the other side, unless they're into that kinda thing, do they really want to be watching us pissing?

At the New Year celebration thingy in college green last year, they put those standing up urinals beside the port a loos but totally open to everyone, so you had families standing waiting for the loos while drunk lads where pissing beside them, no fencing or anything.

Winge over.......


p.s. I have never pissed my pants.......you weirdo