Over His Dead Body

lefthooker · 10-01-2014 10:32AM #1

My dad was of the old type, he loved his land. Never dreamt of selling it and thankfully never had to to keep going. It'd be "over his dead body." Sadly he's not with us anymore but the vultures are already circling.

He's not two months gone and the clay isn't settled on his grave and a neighbour has been in our yard wanting me to do that, sell it over his dead body. Would I sell the land bounding him if there was another bit for sale closer to me?&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;
Somehow I kept cool and played along cos the workman was back and forth across the yard. But I was livid with rage. He was away at the time of the funeral and this was the first time I'd seen him since. The absolute cheek. Maybe sees me as a soft touch.

I don't know if he's a boardsy but if he's reading this here's your answer.
OVER MY DEAD BODY.

Feel free to comment

munkus · 10-01-2014 10:37AM

What are you upset about? He asked if you'd sell land and you said no, end of story. Where's the insult.

Mother heard second hand that a neighbour said that as soon as my ould lad kicked the bucket I'd sell the lot, he was laughin away about it. Sure all you can do is laugh back.

P.S - Sorry about your loss, I think we farming feel it more in some ways as we spend so much time with the old boys and go through hardship together. My father is also my best friend and you are probably the same. Hang in there.

bob charles · 10-01-2014 11:12AM

Guys rang me the other on wednesday to ask did I hear ........ was after dropping dead. I got a bit of a shock and them the guy on the other end of the phone ask, "I wonder who will get the land as its bounding a farm im renting and would be handy out to me". I said im my own mind - you small minded prick and I hope the day you drop dead they will be as quick to get in on your land.

What makes some guys go soft in the head over owning and renting ground. Im thankful im out of this market as the underhand tactics are sickening

rs8 · 10-01-2014 11:23AM

greed ..... its an awful thing

onyerbikepat · 10-01-2014 11:29AM

To be fair, ther's also the other side of things. When my father passed away, I could really sense from neighbours their delight that we were keeping the place going.

arctictree · 10-01-2014 11:32AM

What if he offered you 20M? Would your answer still be the same?

lefthooker · 10-01-2014 11:34AM

Munkus
How would you like it if god forbid your father died and someone came into your yard and before he'd finished saying sorry for your loss asks you will you sell the land.
This chap wouldn't have dared come to ask this in my dad's time cos if he had had the strength he'd have thrown him out the nearest window. My dad retired five years ago, I've been at home for the last 15 years and managing ever since. It's not like there's uncertainty surrounding the place.
It also calls my character into question. Does he think that because the old boss is not on my shoulder I'll sell up.
His timing is completely wrong in all regards.

lefthooker · 10-01-2014 11:45AM

arctictree wrote: »

What if he offered you 20M? Would your answer still be the same?

Different set of circumstances and you know it.

wildefalcon · 10-01-2014 11:46AM

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, I dread the day it happens to me, as it will, no doubt.

As to your neighbour:

There's people like that, and worse.

The trick is to accept that they are small minded, selfish, inconsiderate, sharks and don't let them get to you.

It's hard, I know, but it has to be water of a Ducks back to you. To you, the land is a part of your family, to them it's just another thing to be bought and sold. Some people would sell slaves, if they could make a profit.

Do you have someone to talk to about your dad? You do need someone to share the loss with, to help with the pain.

AnFeirmeoir · 10-01-2014 11:50AM

Out of order.. You know well a lot of people would have that thought and more would chat about it in the pub, which is bad form, but we all gossip. To come up to a grieving man and ask that takes an extra greedy man.
Ignore him though - You're auld lad knew what he was like and now you do too.

arctictree · 10-01-2014 12:05PM

lefthooker wrote: »

Different set of circumstances and you know it.

Yes, and I'm sorry for your loss. And it is insensitive of your neighbour.

I'm just saying that I have a neighbour who is always asking me to sell him an acre beside his house. My answer is always the same - 200K, and he grumbles something but next year its the same question.

flutered · 10-01-2014 12:11PM

it farming life, it is the way of the farming world.

Cran · 10-01-2014 12:19PM

arctictree wrote: »

Yes, and I'm sorry for your loss. And it is insensitive of your neighbour.

I'm just saying that I have a neighbour who is always asking me to sell him an acre beside his house. My answer is always the same - 200K, and he grumbles something but next year its the same question.

I think the insensitive nature is unreal, but unfortunately not isolated I'd think. Find some peoples approach to land very strange, their personality alomost changes for the worst with it.

I moved to where I farm and didn't really know the neighbours, even though few are related. Have got to know some over the years and salt of the earth, but couple who aren't old but old skool Irish get one over everyone people. Uncle used to hear them saying once the auld lads are gone that fella will sell up and we'll buy it. I have a very good job and they wouldn't understand that, got nice feeling this year when some land came up between us and they tried to buy it. Guy selling rang me and offered me first refusal before confirming to them, rather nice to say yes and buy it.
What I found rather strange though one of them called me to congratulate me on the purchase, last discussion I had with him was around knocking a wall on me that wasn't very civil from his side...:rolleyes:

jaymla627 · 10-01-2014 12:23PM

bob charles wrote: »

Guys rang me the other on wednesday to ask did I hear ........ was after dropping dead. I got a bit of a shock and them the guy on the other end of the phone ask, "I wonder who will get the land as its bounding a farm im renting and would be handy out to me". I said im my own mind - you small minded prick and I hope the day you drop dead they will be as quick to get in on your land.

What makes some guys go soft in the head over owning and renting ground. Im thankful im out of this market as the underhand tactics are sickening

Better one around us, farmer bordering us passed away last year, wife was asked was she renting it no was the answer, 5 months later local gangster moves in 200 sheep on it has grazed all the neighbours past couple of months have 80 acreas skint on one lad breaking out after second day.
Got out on ours yeaterday broke accross a main road met your man running them out had our two rotweilers with us said to him next time it happens the dogs will be getting them out think he got the message.

lefthooker · 10-01-2014 12:42PM

Thanks guys for all your comments and sympathies.
I wouldn't be at all upset over anyone asking me if something might be for sale but given the time and circumstances involved I'm really not impressed.

vinne · 10-01-2014 12:56PM

lefthooker wrote: »

Thanks guys for all your comments and sympathies.
I wouldn't be at all upset over anyone asking me if something might be for sale but given the time and circumstances involved I'm really not impressed.

Don't worry , the wheel always turns

bogman_bass · 10-01-2014 01:08PM

Tell him that he's too long in the tooth for this farming lark and would he not sell his place to you.

moy83 · 10-01-2014 01:29PM

lefthooker wrote: »

Thanks guys for all your comments and sympathies.
I wouldn't be at all upset over anyone asking me if something might be for sale but given the time and circumstances involved I'm really not impressed.

Sorry for your loss lh , dont worry about that lad he is obviously greedy and insensitive . If possible in the future ask him about the possibility of renting some of his land , knock a laugh out of him

agriman27 · 10-01-2014 01:32PM

I had similar experience after my dad died suddenly, a neighbouring business man tried moving in on the place a couple of months after he died, I knew what he was up to, like you I didn't want to fall out with him because borders me so I just bluffed it off at the time but I was fuming. Later on in the year he started letting his dog run my cattle around I even spied on him checking to see where I moved the cattle. I had to confront him (not in my nature) and tell him I knew what was goin on and that the gardai would be out if it continued, he got an awful fright he hasn't looked me in the eye since. I couldn't believe anyone could be so lousy on people that were grieving and trying to cope, big eye opener for me. He thought I was a young push over, some lads think their so ****ing smart!

on the river · 10-01-2014 01:35PM

Your father seems to be a passionate man about his home place. it is up to you now to maintain and expand the enterprise. by doing so you will send out a clear message to your neighbour and the area you mean business and are not a soft touch. It is your time to excel. do your best that is all one can ask for. good luck

farmerjj · 10-01-2014 01:43PM

lefthooker wrote: »

My dad was of the old type, he loved his land. Never dreamt of selling it and thankfully never had to to keep going. It'd be "over his dead body." Sadly he's not with us anymore but the vultures are already circling.

He's not two months gone and the clay isn't settled on his grave and a neighbour has been in our yard wanting me to do that, sell it over his dead body. Would I sell the land bounding him if there was another bit for sale closer to me?&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;
Somehow I kept cool and played along cos the workman was back and forth across the yard. But I was livid with rage. He was away at the time of the funeral and this was the first time I'd seen him since. The absolute cheek. Maybe sees me as a soft touch.

I don't know if he's a boardsy but if he's reading this here's your answer.
OVER MY DEAD BODY.

Feel free to comment

its your land now so do what you want.

mf240 · 10-01-2014 01:52PM

Did you consider that he knew you would never sell it, but by asking he was bigging himself up?

munkus · 10-01-2014 02:29PM

lefthooker wrote: »

Munkus
How would you like it if god forbid your father died and someone came into your yard and before he'd finished saying sorry for your loss asks you will you sell the land.

Sure I'd laugh in his face, but it wouldn't upset me too much. I know you're probably going through serious emotional turmoil at the present, of which I can't relate to, but don't let stuff like this get on top of you.

You're right, he's a boll*x, but for your own mental health you have to let it go.

lefthooker · 10-01-2014 02:30PM

mf240 wrote: »

Did you consider that he knew you would never sell it, but by asking he was bigging himself up?

At the time I was shocked and decided to bluff him to see how much thought he had put into it. He put together a fairly good sell and and nodded and agreed to the point where I might have convinced him.

I think I'm putting too much thought in this. It's starting to distract me from my jobs:(

munkus · 10-01-2014 02:40PM

lefthooker wrote: »

I think I'm putting too much thought in this. It's starting to distract me from my jobs:(

I've always though that Farming was a terrible career in respect of mental health.

Using my father as an example of a full time farmer, most of your time farming involves fairly mundane tasks that require little enough brain utilisation. This in my mind encourages the over analysis of events and commentary as a distraction. I've observed him in the past going over the same thing again and again from a thousand angles of "What did he really mean" or "what was he trying to get at" when there no real motive there. I can only conclude that either he's cracked or it's the aforementioned idle mind syndrome.

Not relating this to you lefty, just an observation.

mf240 · 10-01-2014 02:52PM

munkus wrote: »

I've always though that Farming was a terrible career in respect of mental health.

I was only saying the same to the sheepdog this morning.

Conmaicne Mara · 10-01-2014 02:53PM

mf240 wrote: »

I was only saying the same to the sheepdog this morning.

What was his opinion on the matter?

Conmaicne Mara · 10-01-2014 02:54PM

munkus wrote: »

I've always though that Farming was a terrible career in respect of mental health.

Using my father as an example of a full time farmer, most of your time farming involves fairly mundane tasks that require little enough brain utilisation. This in my mind encourages the over analysis of events and commentary as a distraction. I've observed him in the past going over the same thing again and again from a thousand angles of "What did he really mean" or "what was he trying to get at" when there no real motive there. I can only conclude that either he's cracked or it's the aforementioned idle mind syndrome.

Not relating this to you lefty, just an observation.

Or maybe he knows the neighbours better than you do

Brown Podzol · 10-01-2014 05:32PM

lefthooker wrote: »

At the time I was shocked and decided to bluff him to see how much thought he had put into it. He put together a fairly good sell and and nodded and agreed to the point where I might have convinced him.

I think I'm putting too much thought in this. It's starting to distract me from my jobs:(

You're right. Forget it. You are only letting him live rent free in your head by keeping on thinking about it.

keep going · 10-01-2014 06:52PM

I rent abit of land near me thats also technically for sale the last 20 years and a couple of years ago I stood on a hill in it and looked around me and said isn't a grand bit of land wouldnt it begrand to own it.then I said to myself how many men have stood there and said the same thing and all thats to be decided is how long im going to be there and the next man (or woman) is going to say the same thing

foxylock · 10-01-2014 10:25PM

Sorry for your loss, the uncle was dead two days not even buried when the local "Bigman" came up to me and said " If your selling them cows don't forget me". Couldn't believe it. Four days later another nob came in looking for the grazing and the place full of stock "Just thought I'd get in first" says he.

This world is full of insensitive, greedy pr***s. But there are a few nice people left. Surround yourself with them they will lift you when you need it most, make your own decisions and most of all best of luck.

Over His Dead Body

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