Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem · 01-10-2013 11:57am

Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for me today so far and it's only 11.50am. Any ways the worst is over ( I think).

Looking forward to a meeting this evening and meeting up with sponsor later in the week because I think personally that is where the real progress will be made! And in fairness ya man seems pure sound and willing to help - I've nothing but praise for guys at the meetings as they are all really helpful and not out to get you or be nosy and find out information on you. Just to help!

I find so many people like you meet in work or live with are just plain nosy and would walk all over you before they help you out. Obviously that's not everybody but such is life. Rant over!

Amazingfun · 01-10-2013 5:28pm

Carpet diem wrote: »

Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for me today so far and it's only 11.50am. Any ways the worst is over ( I think).

Looking forward to a meeting this evening and meeting up with sponsor later in the week because I think personally that is where the real progress will be made! And in fairness ya man seems pure sound and willing to help - I've nothing but praise for guys at the meetings as they are all really helpful and not out to get you or be nosy and find out information on you. Just to help!

I find so many people like you meet in work or live with are just plain nosy and would walk all over you before they help you out. Obviously that's not everybody but such is life. Rant over!

Yes indeed...manys a day I've had to "hang on" til I get inside the safehouse ( a meeting). And here is a slogan I've heard a million times at meetings but rarely practice until I am out of all other options, lol.....: "You can start your day over at any time".

You're doing brilliant!

Carpet diem · 01-10-2013 11:37pm

Got to meeting eventually and got my work done what i needed don e despite the adversity. It felt like that at the time any ways.

I ddint speak or anything but few people kinda know my face now and give a hand with tidying up at the end to give something back!

Must check about meeting tomorrow now.

02-10-2013 8:27am

Good work you've got a grasp of what you need to do now so just keep at it. The first 3-6 months are the toughest after that things get easier and life becomes amazing. Trust me on that just listen to the person helping you there is a reason you picked them as you see something in them similar to you.

Carpet diem · 03-10-2013 9:10am

I need to thank himself more for sobriety. Days can be up and down but overall better life than before by a mile.

An awful job to get up this morning but feck it were all human and like a lie in.

I didn't get a meeting yesterday because realized there was none on and to be honest I'm most comfortable going to one near me for now. There one on today so will get to that.

Sponsor mentioned getting to one in his area for steps meeting so Ill do that when time comes no problem and I'll know someone there as well.

I have a wedding this weekend so its a big one for me to be on my guard.

03-10-2013 10:31am

That wedding is going to be tough trust me on that. Have an escape plan if possible. It's very early on to put yourself through that.

Amazingfun · 03-10-2013 11:24am

Deleted User wrote: »

That wedding is going to be tough trust me on that. Have an escape plan if possible. It's very early on to put yourself through that.

I would add though that AA's instruction to "think about what you can add to the event and to the enjoyment of others" has often allowed me to have truly enjoyable experiences, even when I went in nervous, negative, etc.
The trick is getting my thoughts away from how I feel, and from my endless obsession with me,me, me and me, lol.

Page 20, paragraph 1: "Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs."
http://anonpress.org/faq/435

Leaving early, calling sober friends/sponsor at regular intervals if feeling weird, making sure you eat very well beforehand and during, carry some chocolate, praying, and the excellent suggestion above of having an "escape plan" should you feel on very shaky grounds, are all good. You may even have a great time!

But if you feel you are just too weak for an event like this yet, it's best not to stay for the reception at all. Nothing is worth drinking over.
Plus, being an alkie means the best gift you could give to this wedding is to be a sober guest

Carpet diem · 03-10-2013 3:33pm

I got a meeting in today.

Thanks for advise guys - I kinda have to go to be honest to it but I'm driving to it and if I feel the need I;m outa there by 12 regardless of what people think.

I think it should be good fun and I might have a sober dance :-)

I am pie · 03-10-2013 6:02pm

Am not a non drinker, although hangovers and boredom of people waffling the most awful repetitive nonsense have driven me away from over indulging or going to pubs much these days.

I just wanted to offer a few words of encouragement, you can be an inspiration to anyone who needs to turn their life around or tackle a serious problem. I dip in and out here every week or so and am always impressed.

Forgive the trespassing and keep at it!

Carpet diem · 03-10-2013 9:09pm

Meeting my sponsor next week. He giving me a ring on Sunday and organise something from there.

Really find the meetings great and gives you time to reflect and also see where you are going wrong.

It really is a way of living rather than viewing it as a way of being of the drink but off course that matters too.

Having a sponsor will also help me when I'm weak and cop onto myself because there is then that whole layer you need to unravel if temptation came into my head.

NeeD to talk soon too - too fecking quiet or proud or insecure or afraid or something. I really don't know which one it is. I have a feeling I just did my talking when drunk so never developed the sober side of me. Look forward to finding that out.

Carpet diem · 05-10-2013 5:07pm

Good wedding. Tired today but all good otherwise.

Good sober dance too !

Carpet diem · 06-10-2013 9:11am

Up nice and early today.

Looking forward to a nice Sunday and relaxation.

Carpet diem · 06-10-2013 8:57pm

Passed the weekend anyways - it was tough one.

Looking forward to a meeting tomorrow evening.

KeefF · 06-10-2013 8:57pm

Carpet diem wrote: »

Up nice and early today.

Looking forward to a nice Sunday and relaxation.

Did some work from home and cooked myself some dinner etc. And I just felt so content that I wasn't sitting in a pub talking the same sh*t to the same people again and again. just saying!! :-)

Orlaw3136 · 09-10-2013 8:07pm

Carpet diem wrote: »

Good wedding. Tired today but all good otherwise.

Good sober dance too !

That's fantastic - delighted for you.

Carpet diem · 12-10-2013 7:31pm

Going through a pretty tough patch last couple of days. Few things annoying me and I need to get them sorted.

I have my finger on one thing now so just need to sort it - basically it's planning my week ahead. Literally writing down what I need to do each day and also the same in work. It sounds simple but I have never done it and I guess it's a way of getting order to your life. Some people can work away without a list but not me.

I suppose I'm a pretty determined person and I get down and out when I don't achieve basic things due to slacking off and laziness. I was listening to a doctor on radio this morning talk about addictions. Lots of different reasons but one word that really got me thinking and why I'm writing the above is RESPONSIBILITY. Only I can do achieve that. So I need to take responsibility for my life. Only I can do that.

Amazingfun · 12-10-2013 9:58pm

If you are still following the AA program, you will find directions on how to begin (and end) each day here:

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_86.htm

Sounds like you are doing great, how many days off the sauce now?

Carpet diem · 12-10-2013 10:07pm

Amazingfun wrote: »

If you are still following the AA program, you will find directions on how to begin (and end) each day here:

http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_86.htm

Sounds like you are doing great, how many days off the sauce now?

Not since last slip I mentioned on here.

I don't think I'm doing great really. Really need to plan my day more and even plan ahead to achieve certain landmarks.

Sorry just in wicked form today tbh

Amazingfun · 12-10-2013 10:26pm

Carpet diem wrote: »

Not since last slip I mentioned on here.

I don't think I'm doing great really. Really need to plan my day more and even plan ahead to achieve certain landmarks.

Sorry just in wicked form today tbh

That's why we don't encourage too much thinking in your first year, lol, we are better judges of how great you are doing at this stage, trust me.
And you are doing great, despite how you feel.

I remember an old AA pal told me : "the same mind that kept you drinking is the same mind you have now. In other words, your mind lies to you and wants you drinking again, which means it wants you dead".
Heard other variations on this over the years, like, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, it's not safe to go in there alone"

What have you been doing?
Going to meetings still, if so how often?
How did the meet up with your potential sponsor go? (and yes, I am nosy, lol)

Carpet diem · 13-10-2013 4:22am

Amazingfun wrote: »

That's why we don't encourage too much thinking in your first year, lol, we are better judges of how great you are doing at this stage, trust me.
And you are doing great, despite how you feel.

I remember an old AA pal told me : "the same mind that kept you drinking is the same mind you have now. In other words, your mind lies to you and wants you drinking again, which means it wants you dead".
Heard other variations on this over the years, like, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, it's not safe to go in there alone"

What have you been doing?
Going to meetings still, if so how often?
How did the meet up with your potential sponsor go? (and yes, I am nosy, lol)

Noisy house mate coming in at 3 in the morning has me awake. :-(

Ya I went to three this week. I literally can't go to anymore due to work and part time college.

I gave him number but he didn't ring me so kinda mad with that but he took it down on piece of paper so reckon he lost it. Hopefully try get number of some one for him and give him a buzz

Carpet diem · 13-10-2013 4:24am

PS will probably move house later in month as really hate where I live. #nipitinthebud

Amazingfun · 13-10-2013 10:38pm

Well, he (sponsor) ought to make an appearance at his group, no?
Or does he not belong to one?

Just keep on keepin on.

"This too shall pass".

Carpet diem · 13-10-2013 10:48pm

Amazingfun wrote: »

Well, he (sponsor) ought to make an appearance at his group, no?
Or does he not belong to one?

Just keep on keepin on.

"This too shall pass".

He goes to the one I go during the day meeting as it's not his local. But I'm not going to day meetings these days as in work again. I'll sort it - downloaded another good app there and find it great.

Carpet diem · 14-10-2013 10:58pm

Have to say making weekly plans and adding to it as you go along is a great job - put some order to your life! You do so much more as well. That with the prayer in the morning.

Carpet diem · 17-10-2013 8:10am

Planning and praying going well for me.

Even life in general going well and no prizes for guessing why.

Positives:
Not tired
Getting my work done in work properly and on time
In a good mood with gf
In a good mood with work colleagues
Can tolerate people
Enjoying planning
Achieved my weekly number 1 goal
Looking forward to week ahead
Being positive
Not being negative

Negatives:
This is where complacency kicks in
Feeling of sure I'm grand

I can't actually think of anymore.

doledude86 · 17-10-2013 1:25pm

Being following your progress the last few weeks, you should be very proud of yourself for wanting to change, life is all about learning from mistakes, so take your time and have patience with your journey.

Carpet diem · 19-10-2013 12:47pm

doledude86 wrote: »

Being following your progress the last few weeks, you should be very proud of yourself for wanting to change, life is all about learning from mistakes, so take your time and have patience with your journey.

Thanks Dude!:)

Carpet diem · 22-10-2013 4:38pm

Ya life is about learning from your mistakes and also being disciplined.

Something I need to become better at and bite my tongue!
For example: I need exercise, stop eating certain hours before going to bed, getting a good sleep as a result, eating healthy, making a plan, being assertive, not reacting to people and simply walking away.

OldNotWIse · 22-10-2013 4:47pm

I think I need to lay off the booze. Been pretty much drinking every night for a few months. Before, a bottle of wine was enough. Now, its two if they are there or plough into the OH's beer when I'm finished. Getting up is agony. I'm on autopilot until about 1pm. I have zero concentration and comprehension skills - to the point that I found myself wondering if I had had a mini stroke at some point

No money for the important things in life - "ah sure this Lidl shiraz is only 6 euro!" - but doesnt it add up?

Something of a turning point last night when I was on the way home from college and my friend asked me what had been covered in he first lecture, as he had missed it. I couldnt tell him! It was less than two hours since we'd finished it and my mind was just blank!

I just hope I haven't done irreparable damage to my cognitive and memory skills. On the dry last night and bounced out of bed this morning. Practically cartwheeled into work - I didn't realise how sh1t I'd been feeling!

22-10-2013 5:19pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I think I need to lay off the booze. Been pretty much drinking every night for a few months. Before, a bottle of wine was enough. Now, its two if they are there or plough into the OH's beer when I'm finished. Getting up is agony. I'm on autopilot until about 1pm. I have zero concentration and comprehension skills - to the point that I found myself wondering if I had had a mini stroke at some point No money for the important things in life - "ah sure this Lidl shiraz is only 6 euro!" - but doesnt it add up?

Something of a turning point last night when I was on the way home from college and my friend asked me what had been covered in he first lecture, as he had missed it. I couldnt tell him! It was less than two hours since we'd finished it and my mind was just blank!

I just hope I haven't done irreparable damage to my cognitive and memory skills. On the dry last night and bounced out of bed this morning. Practically cartwheeled into work - I didn't realise how sh1t I'd been feeling!

Memory improves in time but it takes a while. Why not give a break for a while and see how you get on? If you can't take a break on it then maybe you have to look at it more seriously.

Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

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