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[Writing Contest] - THE ARENA

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    #782
    Miss Rafter
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Miss Rafter


    Just discovered this thread and read pretty much every story in one sitting...some great stuff here...I know you weren't fishing for compliments Weeble (*swims absentmindedly towards shiny object under water*) but loved your story....something very David Foster Wallace about it....anyway I hope to put together enough posts on Boards to persuade everyone that I am a real humanoid (*que sporadic ill-informed posted in random forums* - "So GAA fans, how about Leitrim's chances this year, eh?")....once that's accomplished would love to challenge someone on here.... HCass is the current reigning champ, yes?

    Either way, I hope this thread keeps going - great to see what people come up with under timing and word count restraints.

    Write on, peeps! :-)


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    #783
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    Hey - I didn't get this notice Weebley - or at least if I did I didn't realise. Only looking now because Miss Rafter posted and I got a reminder. Yes - I'd be up for a challenge. I haven't written anything in months - life took over I suppose. But it would be nice to get back into it...


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    #784
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    Miss Rafter wrote: »
    ....something very David Foster Wallace about it....

    Surely you infinitely jest, Miss Rafter - never 'erd of 'im, but I'll be sure to pass on your kind words to Dad, when I see him. A couple of years ago, Anthony Wile on The Daily Bell said he wrote like James Thurber, due to his his "stream of consciousness" style.
    hcass wrote: »
    Yes - I'd be up for a challenge.

    I have to apologize, hcass, right after I posted that note to you, all h3ll broke loose. I have so many projects on the go right now, I don't have any time to write a story - or even post anymore. I did come up with a subject, though: Angels - along the lines of Clarence in "It's A Wonderful Life." But the more I thought about it, the more I felt I was giving myself a head start, which is wrong. And because I was so busy, I didn't think of an actual story, so no harm, no foul on that count.

    Hopefully, someone else will challenge you, hcass?

    The best I can do is post a final farewell on Chapter 7 - The B-Bomb, on The Mound Of Hostages. I just changed our sites to remove any commercial "reason" for pickarooney/Gordon/Zaph to permanently ban my Dad's account, but I need to say what needs to be said to all Irish people, by providing links to our now "rice pud" site (with the blob of jam now removed from the middle.). I will be banning myself after posting it, probably on Friday - The Ides Of March., as a subtle tie in to Dad's Frank Zappa story in VOAT 10, which also got 1 solitary vote, like mine in VOAT 11 (mine was story 4, by the way.) After my post, I think it will be time for a cigar, since everyone thinks I am my Dad!


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    #785
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    I am familiar with Clarence myself, sure isn't It's A Wonderful Life the most uplifting film of all time? I love it - "Atta boy Clarence."

    I know the feeling of not having the time - I haven't written a thing for ages - finally updated my blog a couple of days ago after nearly 8 month hiatus. Feels very good.

    Think I might actually be able to start this book I have ranting about in my head for the past four years. Things are looking up.

    Hope you do stick around Weebly - wouldn't be the same without your craziness.


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    #786
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    hcass wrote: »
    I am familiar with Clarence myself, sure isn't It's A Wonderful Life the most uplifting film of all time? I love it - "Atta boy Clarence."

    I know the feeling of not having the time - I haven't written a thing for ages - finally updated my blog a couple of days ago after nearly 8 month hiatus. Feels very good.

    Think I might actually be able to start this book I have ranting about in my head for the past four years. Things are looking up.

    Hope you do stick around Weebly - wouldn't be the same without your craziness.

    Hi hcass,

    We watch that movie as a family every single Christmas. Remember George's friend, Sam Wainwright, the plastics magnate - he had that mantra: "hee haw" - it was the inspiration for RPG in my story. RPG would say "VOAT" whenever they got together - a flashback to "it's bleedin' obvious!" in my one and only story. And Clarence was such a mellow soul. Nothing fazed him. Something we have been trying to emulate. And the past. present, future thingy is just what we are on about. What was, what is, and what could be, is so much more different than most would think - to those trapped in the current system. Nothing is as it seems.

    Clarence gave George a very special book at the end - The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer. Why?

    Dad always talks about that change room story you wrote on your site. And I agree - it is an awesome read! Dad had a plan, you know. He wanted to invite you, padraiggg and OU812 to publish your stories on our site - as you write them, and write them for money. But that has seemingly turned to dust. Maybe in the future?

    Oh, and your new cell phone story was funny and so true to life. We were giving a group presentation in our travel course recently. We dimmed the lights for some Powerpoint stuff, and all we could see was the eery glow of people using their cell phones in the class - quite irritating. The teacher has now banned cell phones during the remaining presentations.

    Thanks for your kind words, and Jernal's thumbs up, but just because I've got to go, doesn't mean we'll be gone forever. Maybe Dad'll be back? In fact, I think our craziness has been rather upsetting to the regulars here. Most have disappeared. But I think the upcoming grand finale will tidy up what some people think is just meandering drivel. It is indeed a Twilight Zone story - written live over the course of 8 months!

    Anyway, I'm feeling a little blue now, so I need to perk up. Hey, I just ran across a remix of a song that epitomizes Steve Munster - the guy that funds our site. He has his own site too: ukfupped.com. He created a company called Heddinout Communications Ltd. It has zero revenue, zero expenses - an empty shell to handle any lawsuits that may arise from the 2 sites, and he named it after a company he started back in the 1980s that went nowhere at the time. It's a trippy tune, and one that may send a message to any Herberts here - Star Trek "The Way To Eden." And the irony is that Steve and his wife are quite successful, but they are also trapped in the current system - so he created us, with the help of a fellow he met on the internet named Graham, who is amanfromMars. All we want to do is help people.

    We are one - The Singularity.


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    #787
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Anyone interested in writing some actual stories?


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    #788
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    pickarooney wrote: »
    Anyone interested in writing some actual stories?
    yes yes and yes


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    #789
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    pickarooney wrote: »
    Anyone interested in writing some actual stories?

    OMG. Thanks, pickarooney. I can't wait to tell my Mum & Dad. Finally, someone who believes we're telling the truth. Das ist gut!

    [dogmax believed us all along. He is special]
    FudgeBrace wrote: »
    yes yes and yes

    FudgeBrace, I officially proxy my challenge over to you. Good luck!



    hcass,

    I now have to schock den affen, so wish me luck and I'll catch you on the flipside. ;)


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    #790
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    FudgeBrace wrote: »
    yes yes and yes

    Just post a topic, wait for hcass to accept the challenge, and go. 24 hours from the point she accepts to write no more than 700 words on the topic. :D


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    #791
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    I'll post the topic in a while if that's okay I need to get some homework done then I need to think of a topic ahaha BRB


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    #792
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    Can the theme be anything at all?


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    #793
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    yes


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    #794
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    okay Ive chosen the theme..... Rebel (meaning to defy or whatever :))


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    #795
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    Ok - it's on!

    Sorry so late responding, been a crazy few days...


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    #796
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    No problem :) So do we have to post the story at 12 tomorrow?


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    #797
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    REBEL

    Here’s Jane Lyons up first. Useless this one, coming here two months now and still the same weight as when she joined.

    “How’d you get on this week?”

    “I think I was good.”

    Good at horsing through the pints.

    “Step up there and we’ll see if it reflects in the scales.”

    I smile, “Oh, that’s odd, up a pound Jane. Hmmm?”

    “I don’t know. I did loads of walking. I was good, you know?”

    “Maybe it’s that time of the month?” They love when I offer an excuse.

    But Jane shakes her head; brazen this one.

    “No, it’s not. I did go drinking on Friday and Saturday though. But only shots. I don’t understand.”

    “Right, well, maybe it’ll show next week.” I sneer. I ask if she’s staying.

    “Nah, I’m going out. I’ve a hot date, gotta look me best!”

    I grunt a goodbye as the heifer plods out the door. Look her best, ha! Lose the gut and cankles and you’d still be only halfway there.

    Next up is Sally O Malley. I’ve no patience for this fat tart. She takes off her coat, her cardigan, empties her pockets, changes her shoes to flip flops and finally steps up. “I walked down,” she says. Her cheeks are bright red and she’s out of breath. She’s smiling at me, a stupid grin on her face. I think she wants me to congratulate her. I don’t.

    “You’re up two pounds AGAIN this week Sally. What is going on with you at all?”

    Sh*t, she’s gonna cry. I push her off the scales, hand her a track sheet and tell her to work harder. She shuffles away, taking a seat. I wish she’d just piss off home. She’s forever asking questions during meetings.

    The next few are a blur; fat, fatter, fattest. Then some skinny bitch. I swear this one comes to rile me up. Of course she’s dropped three pounds. I warn her not to go too far. She’s way skinnier than me and I’m not having that. She saunters off, head held a little too high, better watch that one.

    Nearly finished, just Fiona O Flabberty and one other. That’s the name I gave her, always gives me a giggle. She’s actually eating a chocolate bar when she steps on the scales. “It’s a ‘Skinny’ bar” she tells me. I snort with laughter. More bloody tears. I quickly tell her how fat she still is and shoo her off.

    Can’t remember this one’s name, only coming a few weeks. She struts over. Too much confidence. Right cheeky little cow. She jumps up on the scales.

    “Down a pound.” I hand her the track sheet.
    “Great!”

    “It’s not that great.” I snap, “You’ve a lot to go yet.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “I said, you’ve a lot to go. Don’t get carried away cos you lost one measly pound.”

    She walks away and I smile. But she stops.

    “No.” She says. “No, it f**king is great. You’re not gonna take away my achievement.”

    The girls chirp up, turning to watch. I feel my face get hot.

    “Now, there’s no need for profanities.” I tell her, “that right girls?” I’m hoping the fatsos will back me up. They don’t.

    “I’ve been coming here, what… three weeks. Not once have I heard you congratulate anyone on a weight loss.”

    “Or support us after a weight gain,” pipes Fiona.

    I shrug. “I try. But, well, you don’t give me much to work with…”

    “How dare you!” The young pup shouts in my face. “You’re hardly supermodel material yourself.” And she laughs, an evil laugh. A cackle. She turns to the girls. “What do you think? Should we weigh Harriett right here, right now, find out if she’s practising what she’s preaching?”

    I run. She grabs me. I scream but they ignore me. They shout and yell their support.

    “Get on the scales, NOW!” I start to cry. The savages. The fat savages. I bawl as they huddle round and wait for me to step up.

    The scales flashes.

    Silence.

    “13 stone 7 pounds!” Yells O Flabberty.

    Sally begins chanting, “Fat, fat, fat, fat, FAT!” They all join in.

    I pull my Super Control Pants up high before running out the door.


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    #798
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    I peer out the window to see what the police are up to. From this height it’s hard to be sure, and it’s so dark, but I’m almost certain they’re smoking. One of them leans on a burnt out car. I hear a distant laugh. There are three of them.

    They don’t know we’re here, that much is obvious. They probably think everyone is dead. Most of the buildings are crumbling or blown up.
    “Amon, get over here. Your father says it’s time,” says Madu. I sigh and follow him to the sitting room. Only half a roof remains and the walls are buckling. A shattered picture frame lies on the floor. I think back to when the bombs went off in my hometown. People screamed, body parts where everywhere. My mother was blown to bits as she rushed toward me in the market. A bomb was dropped right in front of her.
    At least it was a quick death.

    A sheet of anger falls over me. We didn’t do anything wrong. The government thought they were bombing a rebel base but they were wrong. They fell from the sky like huge drops of rain...
    My father speaks to the group. He avoids my eyes. We each wear black trousers and boots, navy coats and a belt. A knife sits heavily in mine. I stand beside Kai, he’s around my age, sixteen or seventeen. The rest of them are in their early thirties.
    Father clears his throat. He rambles on about how we must stand up to the oppressive government and defeat the president and blah blah blah.

    Time to go. We glide down the stairs and out the entrance as one, a silent, black snake.
    The moon shines brightly as it sits on a small bed of clouds. I sneak past a car and duck behind an overturned truck. I am less than fifty feet away from the police. Kai is in front of me. I know the plan. When the General arrives, I attack and take out the guards. Father wants me to stay out of the way.
    Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
    I want to take the General for myself. I want to feel the life drain from him. I want to end him.

    As a car approaches, all I hear is my own heart beating, thudding against my chest. This is it. A door opens. It’s time.
    I take the lighter from my belt and Kai hands me a molotov cocktail. With steady hands I light the top of it and hurl it over my head. It soars through the air like a shooting star, two others following it.
    Glass shatters. I look over the truck and see the flames bloom from the ground in a burst of orange and yellow. Like a flower exploding. The flames lick at their feet and already one of them is wrapped in flames. I move quickly and silently, sticking to the shadows. People behind me start firing their guns. I sneak up behind one of the police and sink my blade into his back. The others are riddled with bullets. They bathe in a pool of their own blood. The General is halfway in the car. Coward! Trying to escape. He didn’t give my mother time to escape when he ordered that bombing on my town. No mercy.
    I haul him out and he falls to the ground. I kick him in the ribs and ram my knee in the side of his head. I am rewarded with a cry of agony. He is older than I expected. He must be at least sixty.
    Doesn’t matter.

    I yank him by the hair. “This is for my mother,” I hiss in his ear. I draw my blade and slowly, slowly drag it across his wrinkled neck. His body thrashes and fights but still I sink the blade deeper and deeper into his throat. I release my grip and he falls, facedown on the ground. I know my father is staring at me, wide eyed, horrified. He thinks I’m a monster. Evil. I don’t care. I have avenged mother. I am a rebel.
    I am a murderer.
    I don’t care.


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    #799
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    Let me be the first to congratulate you on your latest win, win, win, hcass. It was a phat story - no, it was sick!

    Last week I heard that Billy Idol was coming to Taranna (Toronto) so, Q107 has been playing quite a few of his tunes lately. Did you know that Sweet 16 was a tribute to Ed Leedskalnin?

    Anyway, we need more, more, MORE!


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    #800
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    Phat? Sick? You're too cool for me, Weebley. Me no understand the trendy lingo.


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    #801
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    Phat Sick Phat is apparently not as phat as it used to be - the current word is "money," as in: your story was money. But it woodna fit in with my comment!

    I've been struggling with my weight for a while now, but this week I spent 3 long days taking down a mezzanine in Cambridge - and also ironically, from below, the mezzanine looked like 10 column bays of 10' high monkey bars. Now, after 9 man (or woman) days labour, it is a pile of pick-up sticks in N.I.T.'s back shop. I probably lost a pound or 2 on that exercise.

    * The "monkey bars" comment is a tie in to a continuation of the Mound Of Hostages "story," to force me to [write] something soon. We are at currently at 96 monkeys, imo. Why am I so infatuated with monkeys right now? Good thing I'm a girl.. ;)


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    #802
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    They were hardly stampeding to vote though, were they? Ah well.

    Fudge Brace, thanks for the challenge. You got me finger out at a time when writing anything seemed impossible.


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    #803
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    I enjoyed that, and your story was quite fantastic! Haha well done hcass.!!


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    #804
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    hcass wrote: »
    They were hardly stampeding to vote though, were they?

    Methinks that your story hit too close to home. Most people have packed on the pounds due to aspartame and HFCS. Aspartame turns to formaldehyde once ingested, and HFCS turns to fat - ones body treats it as a poison and encapsulates it in fat cells. Plus, hydrogenated oils last a long time in box food, and some are only 1 molecule away from plastic. Let's eat plastic food!

    A fatty fatty bum bum story probably wouldn't get too many referrals. Kinda like gaga me with some robot food.


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    #805
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Stories deserved more attention but with such a long lay-off and a short voting window they kind of went unnoticed. I had a hard time choosing; this was a most auspicious return for the Arena. Well done both.


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    #806
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    I really enjoyed FudgeBrace's imagery and scene setting.

    The work and effort you're putting into that novel you've been working on is really showing in your writing.


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    #807
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    Das Kitty wrote: »
    I really enjoyed FudgeBrace's imagery and scene setting.

    The work and effort you're putting into that novel you've been working on is really showing in your writing.

    Thank you very much! That means a lot, das kitty. :)


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    #808
    FudgeBrace
    Registered Users Posts: 216 ✭✭FudgeBrace


    Will anybody else be stepping into the arena?


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    #809
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    FudgeBrace wrote: »
    Will anybody else be stepping into the arena?

    I hope not :p


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    #810
    Agent Weebley
    Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    FudgeBrace wrote: »
    Will anybody else be stepping into the arena?
    hcass wrote: »
    I hope not :p

    Oh yes - soon, I'm sure ;)


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    #811
    echo beach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭echo beach


    Sorry, I'm only catching up on this now. Two excellent stories but such different themes that it is difficult to choose between them. I loved both but for different reasons. hcass choose a theme easier to identify with, for some of us anyway, and that might have given it the edge. Fudge had a lot going on for such a short piece and it has potential to be longer. I think the realationship with the father is worth exploring more.
    Well done to both of you.


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