Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Maths jokes!

Options
1…457910…12

Comments

  • Options
    #182
    KnifeWRENCH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    The Uncyclopedia article on topology is brilliant: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Topology
    The most common symptom of topology is confusing everyday objects with one another, such as being unable to differentiate between doughnuts and coffee cups, which obviously causes many problems for police officers.
    Topology was discovered by Leonhard Euler, the town drunkard of Königsberg, when he attempted to find his way home after a particularly long night of heavy drinking. After crossing every bridge in town exactly once, he gave up on his search and returned to the bar.

    :D


  • Options
    #183
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    proofbe2.jpg


  • Options
    #184
    jayteecork
    Site Banned Posts: 5,676 ✭✭✭jayteecork


    These tow probably posted already, remeber my maths teacher in college telling us them.

    "I'm a mathematician - I have no life, and I can prove it!"

    "A mathematician wakes up in the middle of the night to discover his flat is on fire. He spies a fire extingusher on the wall and says "problem solved" and goes back to sleep"


  • Options
    #185
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    More from YLYL
    Tallon wrote: »
    eL9CF.jpg
    MIRMIR82 wrote: »
    ^:confused:
    Tallon wrote: »
    When you pay for support, you get it!


  • Options
    #186
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    That WoW one is so funny :D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #187
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    When my father died he left me a beautifully crafted hand written quadratic equation.

    The funny fecker always told me he was going to leave me "a tidy sum." :(


  • Options
    #188
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    another from YLYL
    Professor_Awesome.png


  • Options
    #189
    Catherine!
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭Catherine!


    Apologies if this joke has already been told!

    Two cats are sliding down a roof. Which one falls off first?

    The one with the smaller mu.


  • Options
    #190
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    more shameless robbing

    letterproblembox.jpg


  • Options
    #191
    JamJamJamJam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,394 ✭✭✭JamJamJamJam


    This is more of a physicsy joke, but whatever.. From a friend..

    Knock knock

    Who's there?

    The interrupting coefficient of friction

    The interrup-

    MUUUUU!!!!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #192
    Thunderdrive
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Thunderdrive


    Maths is fun :P


  • Options
    #193
    Aoi
    Registered Users Posts: 199 ✭✭Aoi


    I do love a good maths joke =D


  • Options
    #194
    Richard Cranium
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Richard Cranium


    An actuary walks into [latex]\bar{a}[/latex]


  • Options
    #195
    LeixlipRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭LeixlipRed


    Get out!


  • Options
    #196
    Richard Cranium
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Richard Cranium


    I think it's actually the worst joke in the history of the world.


  • Options
    #197
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Richard Cranium wrote: »
    I think it's actually the worst joke in the history of the world bar none.
    :o


  • Options
    #198
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    hYlKt.jpg


  • Options
    #199
    Richard Cranium
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Richard Cranium


    I'll try and make things worse redeem myself after the awfulness of my last joke. I don't think this one was posted before:

    What did Euler find in the toilet?
    A natural log


    :o


  • Options
    #200
    Pygmalion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    sire_I_did_not_need_that_hypothesis.png


  • Options
    #201
    KnifeWRENCH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    Since the physics forum doesn't have a jokes thread, it'll have to do here instead. :D

    n4dzlz.jpg


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #202
    Aoi
    Registered Users Posts: 199 ✭✭Aoi


    KnifeWRENCH wrote: »
    Since the physics forum doesn't have a jokes thread, it'll have to do here instead. :D

    n4dzlz.jpg

    I saw that earlier today on my FB feed I think, weird =/


  • Options
    #203
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    shamelessly stolen from ylyl

    cosb.jpg


  • Options
    #204
    LeixlipRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭LeixlipRed


    Seen that just there, was about to repost, hilarious :D


  • Options
    #205
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    from YLYL

    316443_460s.jpg


  • Options
    #206
    Reillyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 834 ✭✭✭Reillyman


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
    When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

    The prize is in the form of the harmonic series, which is of course divergent and therefore the sum of the prizes would go towards infinity, therefore your joke makes no sense.


  • Options
    #207
    LeixlipRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭LeixlipRed


    Yes but assuming the person lives to receive the prize for 80 years they'll have collected about 9 dollars by my calculations. How fast it's diverging is the joke.


  • Options
    #208
    Fremen
    Registered Users Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Fremen


    Coincedentally, it grows about as fast as the integral in your sig (if the limits are 1 and x).


  • Options
    #209
    Reillyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 834 ✭✭✭Reillyman


    Should have just used a P-series with p=2.


  • Options
    #210
    LeixlipRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭LeixlipRed


    Reillyman wrote: »
    Should have just used a P-series with p=2.

    Or you could have just said: "oops, silly me".


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #211
    Reillyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 834 ✭✭✭Reillyman


    Haha, whenever that joke is told it's used with a p=2. How fast it grows isn't the joke, the joke should be that you'll only ever recieve $2. For eg.

    "An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
    The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...
    The bartender pours two pints."

    That joke would be crap if the punchline read, "The barman pours an infinite amount of pints very, very slowly..."


Advertisement