Does my bum look big in this squat rack?

Ohhh god logging is like a chore at this stage! So faaaaar behiiiind!:(

Anyway just a quick bookmark as to what's up.

The last 4 weeks have been nuts with life and stress and all the rest that stops you logging trianing but not actually training. Highlights:

- Weight down to 97kg, I'm nearly 2 stone lighter than fat Kev and I'm delighted. In fairness the stress and the effect it had on my appetite are partially due credit here but I threw in a few Franley's at the end of workouts to speed things along.

- Went to see an Osteopath for my terrible posture (any of my facebook friends look at my pictures for one of me holding the baby in a white t-shirt :eek:). Diagnosis: My right SI joint was marginally out of line and messing up everything. He basically felt me up and told me all my symptoms before I could tell him. Then he threw me around the room for 10 mins and when I stood up my protruding belly and exaggerated arched lower back were gone. They still are, 3 weeks later. Also after a session of GM's, rack pulls and cleans my LEFT lower back is fried. It feels great! I've never had any experience of muscle fatigue in my left lower back, buttock or hamstring. Never. They're now being asked to help and they're in bits as a result. Once they get up to speed hopefully I'll notice a big difference strength wise.

- I didn't squat for a full month due to the lower back issue, started back last week and my form has completely changed post osteo. My right hip is under huge stress and I'm descending at a funny angle. All my support muscles are presumably being asked to different amounts of work and it'll take time to adjust.

- My bench held firm at 145kg during the weight loss. Trained it quite a lot and have been chinning and pulling up like nobody's business while keeping my shoulder work really high too. Several times a week for bench, shoulders and back and I seem to have it cracked... for now.

- Deadlift, haven't done it in weeks, I've been doing good mornings and rack pulls with some cleans. I pulled 280 x 3 singles from just above the kneecap last week and I good morning'd 140kg for 3 handy reps last night. I'm trying not to actually deadlift because it seems to do nothing but make me tired and injured.

That's it. I'll keep this updated more often even if it's only summary tuff like this. I'm kind of sick of writing...

120x3
130x2
140x1
110x8 blah blah blah

Maybe I'll video myself explaining how training is going through the medium of modern dance or something.

Last session was benching off a foam roller a la Will Heffernan to remove the eccentric rebound effect and also to load up the weight. Did 140kg for 3 and a few more doubles. Did a round of shoulder work which was really aripoff of the deFranco routine. It was:

20kg plate raise x 8
10kg side raises x 8
20kg plate raise x 8
10kg side raises x 8

rest 1 min

Repeat the above.

It's quick and it hurts which ticks the boxes.

I'm getting much better at pullups which I don't think I've mentioned. I do them all dead hand and with a pause at the bottom. Last session I did 35 in total with a medley of different grip pronations and widths. This session I did 36 and I'll continuer to add until that number gets stupid then I'll make them weighted and go back to 35. Repeat for rest of natural life.

It's Monday and I did tabata front squats on Tuesday last, I still have DOMS and can't really do down stairs walking.This is a massive DOMS PR for me. 6 frickin days!

I'm going to do them today again at lunch. I may well have to consider an "alternative" lifestyle such is the amount of mincing around the place I'm doing as a result of the pain in my legs.

Been humming and hawwing about logging and generally participating in this forum for a while now, but I can officially say that I'm back.

For the past 5 months I've been engaged in a pretty epic battle of Michael Bay CGI proportions with my old friend anxiety. I've spoken here before about having OCD (kind of post traumatic stress disorder related ever since childhood) and that I'm not ashamed of it. It's my cross, others have worse. For whatever reason it decided in March to kick the living crap our of me with a ferocity I haven't experienced from it in years. At the lowest point it left me shaking in bed at 3am wondering if there was any way out of this other than death. I don't suffer from depression per se but suffice to day having a 3 month long panic attack will leave you feeling more than a little blue. I feel bad for stopping logging and posting while this was going on but I was kind of saving it as a little reward for myself when I was better. That was probably stupid but whatever. Not going to whinge on about it but I'm coming out of the fight now, not back to my best but I have it on the ropes.

It's been a hard time, worse seeing the effect on wifepants and babypants but I managed to keep being a dad and a husband and didn't miss any work despite the pretty much constant mental pain. More importantly I didn't stop training either.

The thing about anxiety is it sure does burn calories, also makes it hard to eat. So my weight went down to a trim 15st 1lb, I'm now back to 15st 4lb but I'm still 2st lighter than fat kevpants. I managed to keep most of my strength when this was going on, I needed to lose weight anyway even though this wouldn't be anyones preferred method for losing it I decided to take advantage of it. I'm in the best physical shape I've been in quite some time!

Through some miracle of nature my squat and deadlift are really the lifts that have suffered. I can still bench 140kg easily enough despite not training it that often and dropping all this weight. I dunno what that's about. I'm sumo deadlifting to try and get my glutes and hamds up to speed. I also want to box squat but don't have said box. Need to get one of those.

I didn't want to just start logging again with no explanation for the break, particularly because this is a forum with probably a higher % of young men hanging around it than most others and I've been around here quite a while and people prob have an idea of who I am. If letting young blokes know that I have to deal with this sh1t makes someone realise they aren't the only ones or gets someone to talk to someone instead of suffering in silence then it's worth it. There's some kind of epidemic of mental illness among young men in particular that's really disturbing and the stigma around it is still there.

I'm not a crazy person, I don't hear voices or talk to myself, I'm a normal bloke. Because my anxiety is categorized as OCD people think I repeatedly wash my hands or turn the light switch on and off 7 times before leaving the room. I do none of that. When this first became a problem I was nearly 24 and even when it was at its worst never did I think it was a "mental illness" because as I said I wasn't crazy. Mental illness isn't craziness. If your anxiety or worry or guilt get to the point where you can't function, that's mental illness. It doesn't just happen to other people and isn't something that stands out all your life. It's not about sitting at home dressed as a spice girl smearing mustard on your private parts, it's about all those young people in your community who took their own lives out of the blue. They were mentally ill but didn't even know it in most cases.

So look. Anyone who reads this and is even slightly reminded of themselves if they are harbouring anxiety or worries or guilt that seems too shameful or embarrasing to talk about, go and talk to someone. If you can't talk to someone you know or even feckin send me a PM if you like, if you don't want to do that then just make an appointment with a GP. It's not about being a mental case or being given antidepressants (I don't take any) or being locked up in a home. You just deal with things in an unhealthy way and need to get help changing that. Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.

So yeah... lifting things.

8/8/11

sumo's

220 x 1
230 x miss
220 x 1
220 x 1

I'll slowly add weight to these singles over the next few weeks. Mad the way 220kg can fly but 230 is nailed down. Sumos are just like that I suppose.

Single leg deadlifts - 40kg bar

x15, x10 per side with no break between sets (didn't put the bar down)
Left x 15
*break*
Right x 15

Abs vs red bands and side bends with 40kg bar.