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Maths jokes!

MathsManiac · 2007-11-14 01:59:19

I don't know how to make a sticky - is it only moderators can do that? [edit: posted back when I was a relative newb!] Anyway, I think a sticky for maths jokes would be good. Here's one to start, (an oldie but goodie!) There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.

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#152 23-10-2010 11:50am
Feeona

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What's really annoyin'?

An upside down six

(This joke doesn't work as well when it's written down!)

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#153 10-11-2010 7:17pm
Fremen

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(Shamelessly stolen from mathoverflow)

Let [latex] \int f = \int_0^x f(u) du [/latex]

Solve

[latex] \int f = f - 1 [/latex].

Solution:

factor out the f from the integral

[latex] f \int = f - 1 [/latex]

Re-arrange:

[latex] f = \frac{1}{1 - \int} [/latex]

expand the right in a geometric series

[latex] f = 1 + \int_0^x + (\int_0^x)^2 + \dots [/latex]

[latex] f = 1 + \int_0^x + \int_0^x( \int_0^x dx) dx + \dots [/latex]

[latex] f = 1 + x + x^2/2 + \dots [/latex]

[latex] f = e^x [/latex]

QED

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#154 11-11-2010 5:58pm
xRodge

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One i remember my maths teacher telling us a LONG time ago:

What did the cat say when he slid down a rough inclined plane?
Mu

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#155 18-11-2010 12:28am
Économiste Monétaire

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#156 18-11-2010 1:08am
sponsoredwalk

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#157 01-12-2010 3:38pm
doc_17

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Not quite a joke but it happened and I thought it was funy.

A few months back my nephew came in on Friday evening and was all chuffed with himself - he got 10 out of 10 in a spelling test.

The next Friday he came in and his mum asked him how he did in his weekely spelling test. "I didn't do as well this week - i only got 8 out of 8"

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#158 07-12-2010 12:36am
Capt'n Midnight

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#159 31-12-2010 12:19pm
Capt'n Midnight

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I don't mind trigonometry problems.

Normally only takes me a few secs.

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#160 08-01-2011 4:30am
steddyeddy

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Well I would love to join in but I failed so many maths tests I cant even count

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#161 08-01-2011 5:59am
take everything

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Sherifu wrote: »

Priceless.

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#162 08-01-2011 6:17am
take everything

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Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Was actually expecting crappy jokes but some of these have me laughing my ar$e off.

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#163 10-01-2011 1:13pm
click_here!!!

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If you look at 3.14 (pi) in the mirror, it looks kindof like PI.E!!
I don't have a picture of it though.:(

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#164 20-01-2011 12:56am
Capt'n Midnight

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Some say a world without sin is ideal, but I disagree. After all, there's only so many problems which can be answered with cos and tan.

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#165 22-01-2011 2:19am
Capt'n Midnight

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There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

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#166 24-01-2011 2:33am
JamJamJamJam

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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#167 25-01-2011 12:34am
Fremen

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There's an algorithm in geometry known as the Cox-Zucker machine.

/thread

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#168 25-01-2011 12:40pm
Capt'n Midnight

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from https://boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=70251762&postcount=8052

mathproblem wrote: »

lurker here. this was doing my head in!

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#169 14-02-2011 12:59am
Grudaire

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#170 25-02-2011 2:04pm
Pygmalion

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#171 17-03-2011 3:04pm
Capt'n Midnight

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#172 22-03-2011 11:46pm
resistantdoor

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A line was telling me how he only ever got touched once in his life....and then he went off on a tangent.

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#173 11-04-2011 7:15am
sponsoredwalk

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQHaGhC7C2E

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#174 26-04-2011 3:52am
red_red_wine

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doc_17 wrote: »

Not quite a joke but it happened and I thought it was funy.

A few months back my nephew came in on Friday evening and was all chuffed with himself - he got 10 out of 10 in a spelling test.

The next Friday he came in and his mum asked him how he did in his weekely spelling test. "I didn't do as well this week - i only got 8 out of 8"

At least your nephew is a child....

My dad used to work as a polling station supervisor during the General Elections. One year (this would have been in the 90s), one of the prospective candidates came up to him as the evening was drawing to a close. The candidate asked how the turnout had been.

''Oh excellent'' replied Dad ''We're almost up to a hundred and ten per cent.''

''God, that's great'' said the candidate and away he went. He was subsequently elected and went on to become a Junior Minister :rolleyes:

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#175 11-05-2011 5:54pm
hevsuit

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If i were Sinx^2, and you were Cosx^2, we'd be 1 nomatter what.

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#176 11-05-2011 7:01pm
LeixlipRed

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The way you've written that is wrong which makes it all the more hilariously bad :P

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#177 14-05-2011 10:40pm
Grudaire

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Kudos to Capt'n Mightnight, this is shamelessly stolen from YLYL

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

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#178 14-05-2011 11:50pm
Fremen

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#179 18-05-2011 3:08pm
Capt'n Midnight

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another from YLYL

tony 2 tone wrote: »

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#180 18-05-2011 8:28pm
KnifeWRENCH

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Why are gay men great at group theory?
They satisfy the Tits alternative!

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#181 24-05-2011 5:47am
sponsoredwalk

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOZO0WWULLA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfxfnokQuLM

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