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The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    Metman, I salute you! Always good to 'lol' on a Monday! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    frontpageimage.jpg

    orange-Hitler11cx.jpg

    The wide eyed hysterical expression, the extreme alarmist views, the incitement to hatred. Taking advantage of a depression to gain power. The weird facial hair. And as for Hitler . . . .


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    deadwood wrote: »
    frontpageimage.jpg

    orange-Hitler11cx.jpg

    The wide eyed hysterical expression, the extreme alarmist views, the incitement to hatred. Taking advantage of a depression to gain power. The weird facial hair. And as for Hitler . . . .

    Ya his speech was a bit.. mad!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭CLADA


    In the interest of assisting the careers of all uniform members on boards who aspire to be detectives I have decided to post the official DDU guide.
    Here is the introduction and chapters 1&2. The remaining chapters will be posted over the coming days.

    There WILL be an exam in early April, as with all Garda exams strict rules apply. PM me for the paper.



    Official DDU Guide



    By: D/Inspector Gravy Trainer


    Mission Statement
    To achieve the highest attainable level of
    Overtime, Sub, Travel and Free Grub
    Introduction


    With reference to the above, please find the Official DDU Guide compiled by D/Inspector Gravy Trainer for issue to all new DDU members. Please destroy (by eating) this document as soon as you’ve memorised it. Under no circumstances should this document fall into the greasy hands of any wooden tops (uniform members).



    Chapter 1 – Useful Phrases

    • We’re on the grub

    • We’re on enquiries

    • We’re on files

    • We’re in court

    • We’re on escorts

    • We’re DDU



    Chapter 2 – Suitable Attire

    • Tweed Jacket (patches are not optional and must be worn at all times)

    • Brown Shoes

    • Moustache (optional, but must be worn for court and conferences)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    CLADA wrote: »
    Chapter 1 – Useful Phrases

    • We’re on the grub

    • We’re on enquiries

    • We’re on files

    • We’re in court

    • We’re on escorts

    • We’re DDU

    If I may?

    "Super in? Give us a mark there at 6 so, Deadwood. You'll get me on the phone."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭CLADA


    Chapters 3 & 4


    Chapter 3Diet


    • Coffee

    • Full Irish (wooden tops will provide breakfast between 8am and 10pm daily)

    • Biscuits (also provided by wooden tops at selected stations)

    • Chicken Curry (beef and prawn also acceptable)

    Note: Under no circumstances should any DDU member attempt to approach a dishwasher to avoid back problems in later life.




    Chapter 4Equipment

    • Radio (must be switched off at all times to avoid harmful radiation)

    • Phone (as above)

    • Gun (must be visible at all times)

    • Notebook and pen (optional)

    • Hair Comb

    • File cover (always useful for carrying newspaper)

    • Newspaper (peepholes can be cut out for surveillance)

    Useful Tip:

    To ensure that gun is visible at all times, purchase a suit jacket one size too small.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    I was going to put this into a certain thread.. but I'm fearful of The Nog's wrath! :D

    dont_worry_sir_Im_from_the_internet.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭DavidH82


    best%20friend.jpg

    Now that's loyalty.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    They don't do passing out parades like this anymore!

    http://www.abrutis.com/video-motards+de+la+police+de+rome-12362.html


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  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    Brilliant! Dressing was a little off on the right though :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 900 ✭✭✭Dr_MaSoN


    deadwood wrote: »
    They don't do passing out parades like this anymore!

    http://www.abrutis.com/video-motards+de+la+police+de+rome-12362.html

    hah quality


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    This one came today
    Best quote of the Year so far



    Gotta admire the man for being honest. Florida 's got it right. Bravo for Sheriff Judd!!!

    GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d868875f1-9e6a-4393-a676-ee9133ec6517.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UwMDExMTExLmpwZw_3d_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253aA7B51EC2EFD241F8B25B445D21ED5655%2540Conors&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.2.8&d=d5803&mf=0&a=01_e8a600d9e52bfc07af32266bd40730761f982781ddd481fb9fedfb3a0232b5ff
    POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD
    Some 'dirtbag' in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state wide manhunt ensued.
    The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun.. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

    Now here's the kicker: Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times.

    Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel: 'That's all the bullets we had!!'


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip




  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    Best DUI ever
    Have seen the Scottish version posted earlier, didn't see this one so excuse me if it appears before, but still worth a laugh.:p

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyeowWloLTk


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    daithip wrote: »
    Best DUI ever
    Have seen the Scottish version posted earlier, didn't see this one so excuse me if it appears before, but still worth a laugh.:p

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyeowWloLTk

    Reno 911!!:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    Sorry if this has already been posted but I love it.

    It belongs to South-Yorkshire Police.

    syorkshireevox-4.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    In Latvia, Garda means 'tasty'.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭TheNog


    I wondered why Latvian women were always drooling at me


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    TheNog wrote: »
    I wondered why Latvian women were always drooling at me

    Who...you?

    76045.jpg

    :pac:...................................................


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  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country

    16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
    15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
    14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
    13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
    12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
    11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
    10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
    9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
    8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
    7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
    6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
    5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
    4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
    3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
    2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
    AND THE WINNER IS....
    1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,082 ✭✭✭✭Random


    Do we have any Gardai like this? :)

    6034073


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭TheNog


    Random wrote: »
    Do we have any Gardai like this? :)

    6034073

    check out the upskirt pervert on the bottom right

    he has a great job


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    TheNog wrote: »
    check out the upskirt pervert on the bottom right

    he has a great job

    He is actually looking at their feet...:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    Ukranian immigration officers dress similarly. Hard to take them seriously in those heels...

    Luckily, I did.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭TheNog


    Ukranian immigration officers dress similarly. Hard to take them seriously in those heels...

    Luckily, I did.

    Were you attending this protest??

    ou8baa.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    TheNog wrote: »
    check out the upskirt pervert on the bottom right

    he has a great job

    He's in the Pubic Order Unit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,957 ✭✭✭Hooch


    Dont you just love it when the mindless vandalising little f##kers get whats coming to them:D



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    Dont you just love it when the mindless vandalising little f##kers get whats coming to them:D


    That's actually a local drugs unit trying to gain entry to a suspects house, I believe the Sunday World were present.. but were politely asked not to publish the photo's!!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,957 ✭✭✭Hooch


    Note the little ''help me help me'' at the end of the clip:D. O its the small things in life that makes me smile:D


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