Being Gay

lazer · 13-04-2002 8:07pm #1

when i came to Boards at first, i suggested that they have a gay board, i got some not so nice feedback..

i think its great that there is a place that everyone can open out, and tell there problems/issues, unlike after hours, where ur prob going to get just abuse..which i have to problem with by the way, and support 100% lol, anything for a laugh eh?

being gay, is a big part of my life, i feel that coming out has opend my mind to new ideas, and a totaly different way of thinking.

i dont know why i opened this thread, but maybe some people might throw some of there thoughts up?

Jpaulik · 13-04-2002 9:01pm

I don't know is being gay a whole different way of thinking. It is when you're checking out guys and thinking about anything related to sex.

When I realised I was attracted to the same sex I didn't start thinking too differently. My taste in music and clothes and books didn't change. I still dislike Abba and the Village people.

lazer · 13-04-2002 9:24pm

but i bet u are more intouch with your own self?

Jpaulik · 13-04-2002 9:28pm

Ah yeah. I do feel guilty though as not many people know I'm gay. I don't let on to people including my family what my inclination is. I suppose its almost dishonest really and since I don't class my homosexuality as a big thing I shouldn't really be hiding the fact, but I do.

lazer · 13-04-2002 9:35pm

all good then

Jpaulik · 13-04-2002 9:38pm

Well, almost, see above re-edited post.

Dustaz · 13-04-2002 9:44pm

ok, ive always wanted to know this. Why do gay men feel the need to do the gay voice thing?
I realise thats a sweeping generalisation, but lets face it for the most part , gay men sound like Big Gay Al.

Is it to mark themselves out as being gay? if so, WHY do they need to be marked out as being gay.

Same question applies to lesbians and Shaven hair and Dungarees

amp · 13-04-2002 9:54pm

Originally posted by lazer
but i bet u are more intouch with your own self?

If I was any more in touch with my own self I'd need a labrador.

Jpaulik · 13-04-2002 10:01pm

I don't have the stereotypical "gay voice thing" and since I don't hang around with an awful amount of gay people I can't really comment knowledgeably.

Its probably just the herd mentality, you know where people in a group will slowly start turning into clones. Use the same phrases and actions. Having the same "superior" fashion sense.

I do think too that it is to mark yourself out as being gay. Think about how easy it is for heterosexuals. Me man, you woman. Begin attempts at flirting.

Now try and pick the gay guys out of a pack of men in a pub. Mark out which ones are your type, begin flirting. Its time consuming at the very least. Having some identifiers, like a big gay al brogue and wearing pink

is more efficient. The accent is probably acquired by some, but its natural in others.

Dustaz · 13-04-2002 10:04pm

Id always kinda assumed it was because of that - The practicalities of 'pulling'.

smiles · 13-04-2002 10:45pm

Well, i have a few gay/bi friends and i know that for a majority of them being comfortable with the fact that they are of a different sexual orinatation means that they are a lot more comfortable with themselves and with their environment.

I haven't seen any of them change radically, they are still the exact same people, the most that has changed is some of them experiencing problems with accepting/analysing what they are feeling and figuring out how to react to it.

<< Fio >>

shotamoose · 13-04-2002 11:15pm

Originally posted by Jpaulik
Ah yeah. I do feel guilty though as not many people know I'm gay. I don't let on to people including my family what my inclination is. I suppose its almost dishonest really and since I don't class my homosexuality as a big thing I shouldn't really be hiding the fact, but I do.

I know exactly what you mean. I don't "act gay", whatever that is, and it seems to upset some people when they find out that I am (well I'm bi acshully), which annoys me but makes me even less willing to live up or down to their stereotypes.

But at the same time I don't tell my family, but that may be because I don't tell my family anything if I don't have to. I just don't get on with them alright. Most of my good friends know, except for the ones I think couldn't handle it very well.

I find the whole 'gay scene' thing quite frustrating, in that what is ostensibly a celebration of freedom and individuality seems to always become just another fashion to follow, just another behaviour to conform to if you want to fit in. I was so disappointed to realise that gay nightclubs are just as boring as straight ones, and that it's just as hard to meet someone you like. I've met more gay people I like in class-rooms, at anti-war marches and in newspaper offices than I have or ever will in a club.

Thanks for starting the thread, lazer

Uphamizer · 13-04-2002 11:42pm

I was just wondering, how did you actually find out you are gay, what age did you find that out at, did you find females attractive before you became gay (If it works like that, I'm not gay so I wouldn't know).
Do you not get alot of people slagging you off?

Khynareth · 14-04-2002 1:02am

Originally posted by shotamoose

But at the same time I don't tell my family, but that may be because I don't tell my family anything if I don't have to.

I don't know about being gay. I tried a girl, didn't like it (something missing) so I stick to guys. Glad I tried because at least I know what it is and that I don't miss on anything.

What I think about the whole thing of not telling (the family), is that when you don't say, it does not exist (for them), so there is no problem (because if they knew that would probably become a problem when it is not if they don't know.

It's just like when somebody is very sick (I see that with a friend who has a cancer), her family, her friends do as if it did not exist, they don't talk about it, if you mention it they quickly change subject. To them, it does no exist. But in the end, it will make it evenmore painful.

I'm for honesty, all the way. When I think something, I say, if I want something I say it, If I am something, I show it, and I expect people to do the same with me. Things are much more simple that way.

LegacyUser · 14-04-2002 12:15pm

every person is some way inclined to be with the same sex....

i bet everyone here thought about it??

azezil · 14-04-2002 1:05pm

Originally posted by Unregistered
every person is some way inclined to be with the same sex....

i bet everyone here thought about it??

I used to think that until recently, but apparently there is some physical difference in the brain/? might be total tripe but that's what i heard.

As for thinking about it, i suppose there's always a degree of curiosity about that, that is different to us. Dreams of a homosexual nature do not necessarily mean one is gay, it can be an expression of dominance or control.

LegacyUser · 14-04-2002 1:59pm

i think everyone is inclinded towards at least one person of the same sex at some stage in their life. tried girls, tried boys, never got freaked out, never got tooo curious. both are fun. i wouldnt consider myself gay or bi cause i tend to be with guys more.

Mercury_Tilt · 14-04-2002 2:06pm

This post has been deleted.

azezil · 14-04-2002 2:08pm

Originally posted by Unregistered
i think everyone is inclinded towards at least one person of the same sex at some stage in their life. tried girls, tried boys, never got freaked out, never got tooo curious. both are fun. i wouldnt consider myself gay or bi cause i tend to be with guys more.

very open minded of you, i for one could never be with a member of the same sex, i feel physically ill and or terrified by it!! i have totally over reacted to people messing around in the past i don't know why but when i guy makes an advance on me i totally freak out

___
p.s. i going to assume when you said girls and boys you're not some old pervert and they were of around the same age

Dustaz · 14-04-2002 6:00pm

bit of a strong reaction there azzaaleleleilaaazzzlzlaialalll? Compensation perhaps?

Were all Human, therefore man,woman, gay or straight weve all considered every possibility. Some people experiment, some dont.

I never experimented at all because its just not something that would appeal to me, once i realised that the whole 'hmm, could i be gay?' thought process kinda stopped in its tracks:)

Oeneus · 14-04-2002 7:26pm

Half the time I can't really understand why one man can be attracted to another. Primarily due to the fact that men are scum! (I am male by the way) If women ruled the world it'd probably be a much better place (women like kittens and flowers where's men like killing kittens and shagging women (or men)).
I saw this from looking at my Father and Step-Father.:D:D:D

But as it turns out homosexuals(both men and women) generally tend to be much nicer people! Less slobbery, um...less slobbery. But the annoying thing is if I start hanging around with homosexuals, people assume I'm gay aswell, decreasing chances of me getting near any chicks

!

Dustaz · 14-04-2002 7:45pm

Originally posted by Oeneus
If women ruled the world it'd probably be a much better place

I thought Maggie Thatcher laid this argument to rest once and for all ?:)

But as it turns out homosexuals(both men and women) generally tend to be much nicer people!

Bull****

Gays can be assholes (and bitches) as much as straight people.

Oeneus · 14-04-2002 7:50pm

Yes but Maggie Thatcher was as skank as an ape's arse so she doesn't count!:D

Rephrase: If pretty women ruled the world it'd probably be a much better place

And gays would generally be nicer because they're not prejedice against straight people where's many straight ppl are homophobic!

Victor · 14-04-2002 8:01pm

Originally posted by Dustaz
gay men sound like Big Gay Al.

Not that i want an introduction but who is 'big gay Al'.

Originally posted by Jpaulik
Think about how easy it is for heterosexuals. Me man, you woman. Begin attempts at flirting.

All this does is whittle down the targets to straight women. There are still a million reasons to feel awkward / insecure / whatever in engaging with those targets. On the flip side, women tend to be 'protective' of themselves and it isn't that easy to get 'in there'.

I think most men can accept their friends being 'differently' orientated, however, there is a large minority of mostly men (of all orientations) who act in a predatory way which prejudices opinions to different orientations.

Gordon · 14-04-2002 8:13pm

You should watch south Park Victor!

Jpaulik · 14-04-2002 8:54pm

Originally posted by Uphamizer
I was just wondering, how did you actually find out you are gay,

When I admited to myself that I found males attractive.

what age did you find that out at

Well I had always noticed something since an early age, like even before puberty. I may have been 14 or 15 when I consciously realised I liked guys.

did you find females attractive before you became gay

Yes, I had a girlfriends. For a while I thought I might be bisexual, best of both worlds etc. But as time progressed I felt more inclined to guys.

Do you not get alot of people slagging you off?

Not really as I'm not open. But I do see a lot of people slagging off openly gay people. I just put it down to ignorance and fear. People will always highlight differences in people. Its amazing really that people get so upset about somebody being gay. Its not a huge deal.

Jpaulik · 14-04-2002 9:09pm

Originally posted by Oeneus
Half the time I can't really understand why one man can be attracted to another.

Scientists have been looking into that for years.. can you understand why a man can be attracted to a woman ? Same thing really.

Primarily due to the fact that men are scum! (I am male by the way) If women ruled the world it'd probably be a much better place

Women ruling the world ? Maggie T, Eve, Eva Peron, Imelda Marcos didn't do good jobs. The world would be a better place if it was run and populated with enlightened people.

But as it turns out homosexuals(both men and women) generally tend to be much nicer people!

Nope, not true. We just have better pr.

Less slobbery, um...less slobbery.

Stereotype, but not for me.

But the annoying thing is if I start hanging around with homosexuals, people assume I'm gay aswell, decreasing chances of me getting near any chicks

In a gay bar maybe.

logic1 · 14-04-2002 9:28pm

Originally posted by Jpaulik

Scientists have been looking into that for years.. can you understand why a man can be attracted to a woman ? Same thing really.

Well it's not the same thing at all. All creatures are attracted to the opposite sex due to a natural desire to reproduce. It's not a concious decision but generally taken as granted that natural attraction exists between opposite sexes stemming from a need to procreate.

Gay relationships break the rules of nature in that gay attractions really don't stem from a need to reproduce.

But there's exceptions to every rule.

.logic.

Nexus · 14-04-2002 9:48pm

to each their own.

Dustaz · 15-04-2002 3:40am

Originally posted by logic1

Gay relationships break the rules of nature in that gay attractions really don't stem from a need to reproduce.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! DANGER!!!

bombidol · 15-04-2002 1:16pm

this thread is ready to explode, everyone is waiting for someone to post something even remotly "anti-gay" so they can all reaffirm their "open mindness" and bash them.
For me, it really makes no difference, my uncle is gay and lives with his boyfriend and my other uncle (His brother) so i have been exposed to it for a long while now, Strangly most of my girlfriends mates are gays and lesbians. Gays, lesbians, bi it really doesnt bother me, but i must be honest and say that if i was in a club and there were two guys kissing or something i would get the shivers.
The one major gripe i have with gay men is the Camp thing, i really dont get it it actually annoys me to the point that i feel like screaming, i get that its like a siren to alert other gays in the vicinity, but wouldnt a tight tshirt do the same thing? (joke)

BomB

Being Gay

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