If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

What's the simplest task you have f***ed up

  • 04-03-2023 12:51am
    Registered Users Posts: 1,884 ✭✭✭

    So a few days back a blackbird flew into the window and broke its neck. Normally when I find a small dead animal here I pick it up with a pair of pipe grips and throw it up the mountain outside the gate to be a meal for something. 

    My aim was off, he slipped in the pliers, and ended up wedged snuggly between 2 small branches of a birch tree by the gate.

    He's been there for 3 days, looks completely natural.

    Its a big job for me to get him down again, so I have left him there, not told the wife, but every time we go out I say "that blackbirds always up there".

    I think they do similar in Tibet.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Count Dracula

    Black birds are tasty enough.

    You should have just plucked that phucker an eaten it?

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer

    A thread right up my street since Im an avid DIYer and probably shouldnt be. My diy stuff sometimes ends up costing more than if I got an actual person to do the work.

    Putting in new skirting boards. Was nailing them to the wall and after a couple of minutes I heard a hiss and water pouring all over the place.

    Id put a couple of nails through a water pipe in the wall. Had to get the whole room redone.

    Was changing a bulb in teh kitchen down light when I slipped off the chair I was standing on and pulled the transformer box out of teh ceiling. The problem - I had just gotten new wooden floors down upstairs and had to get them taken back up to access the wires to fit a new transformer.

    Cutting back a tree in teh garden with one of those extendable Lidl chainsaws when a large branch came down and destroyed my gazebo.

    Ill add more when I remember them.

  • Registered Users Posts: 16,313 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject

    Congratulations, you've won the thread!

    Unfortunately, you had to wreck your home to do so, but small victories and all that. 🤣

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,697 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox

    I was pulling a pint of guinnes once and the keg ran out. Sauntered out the back and up the yard, changed the keg, sauntered on back in only to realise I had left the tap down. Guinness **** everywhere.

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer

    Easy task - I **** it up.

    Heres another one. Washing machine packed up and I decided to have a look at it. So the big weights that stop teh machine from bouncing around had broken off. the drum I got a huge hose clamp - think it was 24 inches diameter. Put it around the drum and put the weights into teh hose clamp. Nice and tight and everthing was going fine until the final fast spin. It was like a horror movie-- the washing machine literally jumped about 10 feet across the floor.I hadnt realised that they were supposed to be in a certain position to stop the machine from jumping around.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 1,872 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer

    But theres a certain satisfaction when it does go right.

    Ive tiled the entire bathrooms, put down wooden floors, dry lined the house,fitted new sinks and toilets, added new sockets and fused spurs without issues.

    Its the little small jobs that you expect to be easy that that I seem to feck up.

  • Registered Users Posts: 16,313 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject

    @Hellrazer, you have an apt username anyway. 🤣🤣🤣

  • Registered Users Posts: 899 ✭✭✭Tazium

    ‘Ok’ or ‘cancel’ I’ll say no more.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,901 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa

    I’m usually pretty good at DIY and fixing things, but about 10 years ago, the belt in our tumble dryer went, and as my wife was gone out with friends, I decided to have a go at fixing it at 10pm on a Saturday night after a few cans.

    Got it opened up, replaced the belt, but when it came to putting it back together, it just wasn’t working out. As time went on, I was getting more and more frustrated and heavy handed, until at about 1am I realised that I’d basically bent all the panels irreparably, and it was now impossible to reassemble it. So I left it in a pile in the kitchen and opened another can.

    Wife walks in, sees the pile of appliance and asks what’s going on, and I said “well, we’re going tumble dryer shopping tomorrow. Goodnight!” and went to bed.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 4,214 ✭✭✭standardg60

    Relationships, finally realised i'm just not cut out to share my life with someone full time

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,562 ✭✭✭ahnowbrowncow

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,697 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox

  • Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7

  • Registered Users Posts: 23,781 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34

    Pulling out.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,085 ✭✭✭✭blade1

    Or if you drive a BMW, pulling out without using an indicator 😀

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer

    I decided to have a go at fixing it at 10pm on a Saturday night after a few cans.

    I think alcohol may have been a factor in my mishaps as well!!!

    I get these mad ideas after a few beers to fix something thats been annoying me for a while - No it cant wait until Sunday morning - It needs to be done , NOW at 3.00 am after 10 cans and a half bottle of JD.

    Just as well the power tools are well away from the house or god knows what could happen.

    But as I said earlier its those little small jobs that I seem to have a habit of messing up. You know change a bulb and have to pull the floor up to fix it - all over a bulb.

    Thinking back on it the burst water pipe wasnt really my fault - what builder buries a water pipe in a wall behind the plasterboard ??

    The tree cutting - those branches look at lot smaller from the ground - the one that hit the gazebo was probably 12 inches in diameter and 10 foot long - more like a small tree in itself.

    I blame the middle aisle in Lidl - power tools should need a licence. Who ever thought they needed an extendable chainsaw? Thats just asking for trouble.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,037 ✭✭✭Mister Vain

    Putting a condom on inside out.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,563 ✭✭✭Cluedo Monopoly

    What are they doing in the Hyacinth House?

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,437 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld

    Sliced through the electric hedge clippers lead twice.

    Aside from that, the number of people I see, amateur and professional who wear no eye protection using power tools is ridiculous. I would say it's the norm.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 23,781 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats

    Cap on the sriracha sauce didn’t look like no cap .. mi amiro I punched a damn hole in it

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,085 ✭✭✭✭blade1

    You didn't know whether you were coming or going! 😀

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,085 ✭✭✭✭blade1

    Would this be classed as a task?

    Put stuff for burning verrucas off in to my eye.

    Had a stye in my eye and mistook my eye drops for the other half's young fella's stuff for his verruca.

    Similar bottle and same colour.

    Felt like pouring acid into my eye.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,304 ✭✭✭Gloomtastic!

    I did the water pipe thing one Saturday afternoon. Had to get a plumber out, he was there til 9/10pm, he missed some family do he was expected at. The next day I was putting the floor boards back down and managed to burst another pipe. One man DIY disaster-zone, that's me!

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer

    But then theres another extreme.

    I watched my neighbour one day come out with full face mask, 2 gloves that a falconer would use, overalls, work boots etc.

    He drilled 2 holes and took the gear off - putting on the full gear for the job took longer than drilling 2 holes in the wall.

  • Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭niallpatrick

    A family on my parents street who I don't trust but I'll take off the clock jobs where I can get them other than from that family. My brother he's a bit of a 'please like me' type and he dropped me in it by suggesting to the dad of this family I'd fix their comp for them. I won't say I'm an expert but I'm qualified competent and honest. So to save my brother face and my family's rep I fixed the comp back at mine. Total POS infected with browser hi-jacks slow as hell. I always keep spare parts even for outdated comps, in this instance suitable ram. I had a suitable CPU as well but just stuck to the basics.

    Clean out Quick format and Ram upgrade an easy £30-£40, sht happens somehow I zapped the motherboard BIOS and one replacement I didn't have or could get at short notice was a motherboard to suit, I had to buy a new motherboard new CPU new RAM. No two ways about rather than have them accuse my parents of having a son who messed a job up. Honesty pays well it cost me £180 giving them back practically a new faster computer. Scrub the format and clean out I'd have accepted £100, the dad pulled out a wad of cash and gave me £15. If I mess a job up I'd never expect the customer to pay full amount for my mess up but FH £15 when I told him in simple laymans terms what happened and what he was getting back broke my heart.

    Anybody else would have given me at least a ton or the full amount for a fully rebuilt comp, I learned from that, money up front don't want to pay what I charge then bring it to PC world they charge £40 just to open the POS and you aren't given any guarantee it'll be fixed or even have someone qualified trying to fix it but you'd still get charged.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭eggy81

    You could have just lied and said something was goosed surely and it was this fix or a new computer.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,177 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious

    Changing spark plug. I changed loads of them successfully but one time it went badly wrong and for a while thought I made sh1t of the cylinder head. Made thread about it at the time but managed to recover from it easy enough after

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7

    As in "Four and twenty blackbirds

    Baked in a pie.." ( From" Sing a Song of Sixpence" old nursery song)