How many days are you free from booze?

I must of joined around the same time as apache, I’m 10 years this December. Totally agree AA was imperative but I’ve continued different supports and found out recently I’ve ADHD so AA to me was a significant stepping stone to getting sober and understanding myself better.

As apache said, there is extremely different kind of AA meetings, some unfortunately are dominated by people who I never gravitated to and avoided, remember it is normal Joe soaps after all but there is also some wickedly wise people who have given me more then professional therapists over the years.

I think Part of the reason is because people , even if the crazy ones, can identify and empathise with what you are going through. Funnily enough there is one guy who is mad as a hatter (he enjoys playing to the crowd) in group meetings but one to one he’s actually very wise. But I’ve learned to be careful in the sense that there’s a fair few who share all this positive stuff and quote the big book (I Couldn’t quote one sentence!) who clearly don’t practice what they preach. That’s why having a strong sponcor (who will challange your bullsh*t) and honestly asking your spouse how you are doing really helps.

I have been to meetings where it’s relatively balanced , relatively crazy and relatively too rigid (religious and hardcore following the big book). I personally tried most of the things including going into mountjoy prison and doing talks in schools. I wanted to try as much as I could and do not regret it one bit.

I remember going to mount joy jail on New Year’s Eve to chair a meeting. There was only a skeleton Garda crew and we couldn’t find one to let us out for about half an hour, that had the blood flowing I can tell you.

Also one prisoner in particular shared some ruthlessly powerful stuff. He was the kind of guy where the look of him would have you crossing the street in fear. But how he shared was powerful and you can understand very much how he really is a victim of circumstances. He wasn’t “poor me” at all, but how he told his story was humbling.

Anyways , I’ve never been religious but as one member (now passed to age) used to say to me “if you have a problem , go around it”. Simple advice but I’d usually get stuck on something and struggle to move on , which made the 12 steps harder work then they needed to be.

On reflection, the best things about AA were meeting really wise , grounded people who I could share some of my most vulnerable feelings and stories to. You have to be careful of course , I shared less in meetings then I did with sponcors or people I trusted. I had a few sponcors , who were older men (prob ones I felt could be my father) who generally shared realitively Balanced messages that weren’t all “AA is everything” but as one put it “AA is here to support you so you can live a better life and be there for your family, AA us not meant to be your life”.

I think in some regards, like many things, AA is what you make of it. It can feel culty and as I’ve said I’ve been to meetings I did not enjoy , but more often then not most meetings offered me something if I opened my ears.

I don’t goto as many meetings as I used to but that’s just where I am at right now.