Dream big, work hard, achieve your goals - My DCM '19 Journey

Antrim Half Marathon Race Report 1:33:13 New PB

After a tough couple of weeks emotionally I wasn't 100% sure if I was definitely going to run this. My training plan continued, although most runs are a blur, I got them done & it helped me, then after my really good friend offering to come up with me for the drive & support I thought I should just give it a bash! I had told my da all about it & he was pretty excited for me & told me how beautiful the views along the coast were. I got everything ready yesterday, my NB fuelcell runners, matching orange shorts & purple top, then I proudly pinned a little white feather & yellow ribbon on my bib for my da, I got butterflies feeling both nervous & excited about running a race again & it felt great.

Alarm was set for 4:45am, didn't end up falling asleep till after 12 & woke a few times so was a little groggy getting up. Had a small bowl of porridge, grabbed my gear & set off at 5:15 to meet my friend. Usually this is where my race report details the many wrong directions I took etc but thankfully not this time☺️ We chatted most of the way down & it really was great just to have that bit of company & help with the directions! We arrived in plenty of time & got free parking in the local shopping centre car park, the buzz was starting to build up with the car park quickly filling up with eager runners, oh how I've missed this, those butterflies returned again & I felt excited. We walked up towards the starting line, through the town & we just caught sight of the elites coming through, was great to see people cheering & supporting them. We kinda just followed the crowd until we ended up in a park. The queue for the toilets were so long it was unreal so a few girls decided to create a ladies toilet in the bushes, so much quicker😛 It wasn't clear at all where the start line was so between listening to people chatting & actually asking we found out where to go. The chap up in the bandstand was calling out the different coloured bibs to head to the start line but it looked like everyone just headed down anyway & it got quite congested very quickly. I ended up standing with the 1:30 pacer group but then we kept getting told to move down & it was very hard to do this as there were so many people together. It ended up quite messy & we didn't end up starting until at after 9:45 instead of the 9:30 original start time.

Miles 1 - 4 ( 7:17, 7:08, 7:08, 7:15)

Was really happy to get started with all the standing around. Thankfully there wasn't too much weaving in & out of people. I had decided to go with roughly 7:10 pace & see where I was half way. With 41 miles done this week & 17 on Sunday I felt I just needed to be consistent with the pace. I had been told that most of the work would be done in the 1st 4 miles so was just going to judge it. I zoned into myself & didn't get caught up with all the runners going by me, stick to your own race Elaine, keep it consistent. Came to a steep enough hill & slowed right down for it, didn't want to zap the legs this early on. Could hear people really gasping for air at this stage, the slapping noise of runners & watches beeping was pure bliss to my ears, oh how I have missed this. Kept checking my watch & was fairly happy that I was sticking to my plan!

Miles 5 - 13 ( 7:00, 7:08, 7:08, 7:11, 7:06, 7:10, 7:05, 6:59, 6:46)

Delighted to take on some water at this stage, took a drink then poured some over myself. Was really happy with how my race was going, checked myself if I was going too fast too soon, really didn't want to blow up too early & wasn't sure of the toll the last few weeks had taken on my body. Running along the Coast was stunning, my da was right, the views were amazing, thought of him a lot but tried to control it so as not to get upset so I just brought my thoughts back to running my race. Was running along side a girl for a little bit & she asked how I was, I said ah sure hanged in there, me too she said, then I shook her off my shoulder😜. I still felt strong, passing by people felt good but what felt even better was that I was doing it by sticking to my plan, racing my own race. After running around BallyGally we headed back onto the Coast Road, was good to know there wasn't too long left. The support was really good & being the only female in a group of male runners for a fair bit of the way I got a lot of well done girl, keep going, very strong comments & lots of smiles which really, really lifted me! An ambulance with sirens on had to come through us which meant we had to jump up onto grass verges or wherever we could just get out of the way, it triggered me for some reason & I started crying, kept running & crying, defo got a few looks but thankfully it didn't last too long, I really hope the person is ok that was in the ambulance. Coming back under the tunnel felt so good, at this stage I seen 2 other girls ahead so gradually started closing the gap. I knew I could up the pace as I looked at my watch & where I thought I was heading into mile 10 to my absolute delight it was mile 11😊 I caught up with the 2 girls & the 3 of us were together heading down the steep hill which lead to the stretch before the finish line. Jaysus this hill was steep, really had to put the breaks on or I really felt I might tumble down it! Got to the end of it & started on the home stretch. At this stage I had upped the pace, I really wanted to come in under my time in the PP TT, 1:34:13 & felt I could. I seen some Flags & stuff ahead & was convinced it was the finish line, to my utter horror it wasn't it. My head completely went, just walk it now Elaine sure everyone will understand, No Elaine you came all this way finish it out, walk Elaine, run Elaine... ugh leave me alone stupid mind!!!! I then People started cheering, you're almost there, keep going... then with people on my shoulder I knew there was no way I was going to walk, then I seen my friend, I'm so proud of you Lainey, you've got this! I dug deep & finished it fast, coming in at 1:33:13 - exactly a 1 min PB - given the fact there was no taper & everything else that's been going on I will take that any day. I genuinely felt so proud of my myself, I ran a really good controlled race when I was really afraid that I'd just crumble!! It's true what they say what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger💪 A few tears were shed on my way to collecting my medal, emotional happy tears as I know my da was with me & I know how proud he would be❤️

My focus is Manchester, hopefully I can be just as proud of that run...

Thanks so much for the lovely comments, this is why I love this running community, I really hope boards stays alive even though people aren't happy with the changes, I think it's a pretty special place💛

Anyone who follows my log knows that I am an emotional runner & writer(waffler). The reality is this is my hobby, same with most people on here. Life comes 1st & all the things that are involved in life. I fit my runs in around all the other things going on. Right now, my grief is a huge part of my life, I wish with all my heart it wasn’t but that’s just the way it is! I’m not sure if it will be everyone’s cup of tea to be reading this in a running log but I love writing & running so if it helps me then that’s all I want. Grief is such a horrible emotion, it’s a very selfish emotion. I really don’t think I’m a very selfish person but since my dad’s passing, I feel like the most selfish person in the world… I think I need to be to preserve myself, to try help myself. I can’t give my usual help, advice & support if I am crumbling inside… I’m sure I will get back to some version of my old self but for now I actually don’t know who I am. Antrim was amazing, where I got the strength from I have absolutely no idea. It was great to feel something other than sadness & heartache. I got home & everyone was thrilled for me especially my mam who has now taken a proper interest in my running, she was looking for photos of me on the Antrim half marathon page on FB, “are you in any of these she said, nope mam that’s all the elites, not quite there yet!”

With every high comes a low & god did I crash on Monday. Thankfully it was a rest day, I just lay on the couch for a bit felt zonked, feelings of guilt for feeling happy yesterday hit me a few times. Then I decided to have a bath & head to bed early to try sleep… Not long in the bath & I sobbed & sobbed, just couldn’t stop. Sat in a towel in the bathroom for what felt like ages, dried my sore eyes & went to bed but the same thing happened again, right now these feel-like tsunamis not waves of grief… I know it will take time, how much time I have no idea of as everyone is different, I just want the gaps to get longer between the gut wrenching overwhelming feelings of sadness. 

Manchester Marathon Week 8

Mon 30th – Rest day

Tues 31st - W/U, 10*400's C/D

Felt a little leggy for this & a bit drained but that was to be expected!

Weds 1st Sept - W/U,6*1k, C/D

Decided to head out to the PP to do this around the Furze loop. Was a nice day & happy to have a change of scenery. The reps all felt good, given my legs felt heavy yesterday I was pleasantly surprised at how strong I felt on this run. Finished up in the car park of the Visitor Centre, got changed & headed for a little walk around the gardens, the flowers still in bloom, so colourful & beautiful especially the Sunflowers. It was so peaceful, nice to just reflect a bit.

Thurs 2nd - W/U, 4*200, 2*400, 1k, 2k, 1k, 2*400, 4*200 C/D

Enjoyed the mix of different paces & distances for this run. Managed to get through half of my dad’s playlist.

Fri 3rd - W/U, 6*1k, C/D

Went out for this later than I had expected. Felt a bit emotional, thought about not running at all but as always was really happy I did.

Sat 04th - W/U , 8*400’s, C/D

Went out to the PP for this. Did my reps on the Furze road between the bollards, was nice doing the reps somewhere else. My mind wandered a lot to my dad, hard to believe it was his month’s mind mass later, the hardest month of my life.

Sun 05th - Easy Endurance run with surges – 18Miles

Had a few drinks last night, haven’t really been drinking at all. We went to the club my dad drank in, was weird being there without him. Wasn’t a mad late night or anything but I ended up sleeping in, waking up but then feel back asleep, my body obviously needed it. Set off with a rough route in my head. Was very warm out there. The run went well, a surge for a minute after every 8mins, I enjoyed this as it woke my legs up. My legs felt heavy for the last 2 miles but nothing too bad at all – happy to have another long run under the belt.

I have no real target for Manchester other than getting my way around it without breaking down. Unfortunately, no one can say how much affect the emotions of the last month may have on me physically but for now all I know is that running is really helping me so I am choosing to stick to my plan. I feel normal when I’m out running, I can get emotional but in general I’m concentrating on my paces & my runs which is a good thing. I think for now the best thing for me is to treat this the same as Antrim, not putting pressure on myself & hopefully run a well-controlled race.

Miles for the week – 59.2

Miles for the year – 1,667.4

Just got my reply I'm in Red A - arrival time of 9:50 - 10:00 with hopefully a start time of 10:50😊