The feeling of being broke!!

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:05pm #1

Has anyone ever been broke before? For the first time ever this weekend I had only around €1 left. I'm getting paid this week ( I'm actually on €350 pup a week ) but the weekend just gone I was so panicked I had no money. On Friday I was panicking even thought the fridge was full etc. Its a horrible feeling with no money, like your trapped. I couldn't ask the parents again as they would kill me lol. I needed medication too that I couldn't get. But on Saturday morning money appeared in my bank account that I wasn't expecting so I was ok thank god.

Plus I realised I have been paying money into a pension I forgot about and I've thousands there I cant touch until I'm 70. Has anyone else felt that horrible feeling of having no money and just being trapped?? Its horrible and I never want to experience it again!!! Im known in my family as never being organised etc so Im used to the slagging!!

Gregor Samsa · 05-07-2021 4:15pm

It's not a nice feeling at all.

Had it a lot in college, but at that age and stage of your life you nearly think it's normal. It's only later if you've experienced a bit more security and have more responsibilities that you realise how scary it is. I had a point where I'd just graduated from doing a full-time masters, and had moved to the other side of the country, and I was looking for jobs and had already borrowed a few grand from my brother and I had nothing. Eventually got a low-paying job, but kept looking and got a better paying job fairly quickly, but even then I had debts to pay off. Took me a few years to (financially) recover from that, but it all worked out.

It took me a while, but I've got things in place now that I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, and I have a fairly secure backup in place for a good few months if ever I lost my job. Not necessarily easy to do, though, especially on the PUP. Good luck!

05-07-2021 4:18pm

The last time I was broke was when I was doing my masters in Dublin and I had a near zero budget.

I had to stop drinking, socialising, etc. I basically had rent, bills, food and a bus pass to raise each month. Some months I walked to save the bus fare.

I don't miss it but I am proud of how thrifty I was at that time.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:20pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

It's not a nice feeling at all.

Had it a lot in college, but at that age and stage of your life you nearly think it's normal. It's only later if you've experienced a bit more security and have more responsibilities that you realise how scary it is.

It took me a while, but I've got things in place now that I'm not living paycheck to pay check. Not necessarily easy to do, though, especially on the PUP. Good luck!

I'm past the college age though I'm ashamed to say. I cant save a bean even though I don't own a house, I am renting thought. I was on nearly 6 figures for the last 2 years and I've nothing to show for it. I spend spend spend! Im foolish with money, I was scammed of nearly €1,000 a couple of years ago with Bitcoin. I need to do a savings course or something haha. My family are just exasperated with me at this stage.

This is it · 05-07-2021 4:23pm

I'm not broke broke but I'm putting as much money in to savings for a house deposit as I can and more money by for a few nights away, birthdays and Christmas means it's tight enough at times.

So I'm not broke in that I'm worried about money, but I'm broke in that I've set aside a certain amount to spend this month... it's half gone and we're 5 days in -_-

branie2 · 05-07-2021 4:28pm

Nope

biko · 05-07-2021 4:36pm

Not for a very long time thankfully, but it was an awful awful thing.

05-07-2021 4:37pm

There is a big difference between temporary poverty and its enduring cousin.

When I was younger and in college in London, my parents were absolutely against my doing a masters, them being from an era where people with a degree should just immediately get a safe job. So having to fend for myself, I was regularly so broke, I'd have to queue in a bank to withdraw a meagre fiver because it wasn't worth the ATM's while.

So I used to do desperate things -- like living on pasta and butter, or taking part in experiments to earn a tenner, skipping whole days of class to work in nearby restaurants, and would prefer to walk for three hours than take public transport.

That's the poorest I've ever been. The mad thing about it is, I had the time of my life. I had the best experiences of my 20s being around friends who had absolutely nothing, except our bare wits.

Not trying to sound dismissive here, there is a real distinction between genuine poverty vs embarking on an adventure. The key thing here is choice.
I know what it's like to not be able to afford to eat, unable to afford rent, but enduring that prospect indefinitely must be absolutely terrifying.

Most people have experienced poverty, we can handle it when it's a choice. But to be caught in an indefinite poverty trap is tantamount to oppression.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:40pm

This is it wrote: »

I'm not broke broke but I'm putting as much money in to savings for a house deposit as I can and more money by for a few nights away, birthdays and Christmas means it's tight enough at times.

So I'm not broke in that I'm worried about money, but I'm broke in that I've set aside a certain amount to spend this month... it's half gone and we're 5 days in -_-

I finished paying my car around 3 months ago so I was happy saying Id have an extra €450 a month to save. The past 3 months I havnt saved!! Its great you can save for a house etc, you sound so organised.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:42pm

branie2 wrote: »

Nope

Lucky you - either you're rich or a good saver??

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:43pm

biko wrote: »

Not for a very long time thankfully, but it was an awful awful thing.

Its horrible. Even on Friday the red light was on my car for diesel so i couldnt even go for a drive. Sooooo trapped

The Cool · 05-07-2021 4:56pm

Was mostly broke through college and for a few years after as I did 6 months unpaid internship in Dublin, then a year in the same place paid buttons of a salary, then went out on my own freelancing and that took a couple years to build up to be comfortable. I know well what it's like to have 40 euro to feed you for 3 weeks, and it's such a sh1tty feeling. It makes your world very small, having no social life, I remember a point where I couldn't ask a friend to go for a walk because I knew they'd want ice cream or a coffee and I couldn't afford it but couldn't hack them thinking I was being scabby and wanting them to pay for me.
I'd say I still have money guilt and I absolutely despise food waste. Even now I can tell who was broke in college and whose parents gave them unlimited money for groceries etc. I'm good at budgeting now though and am good at saving.

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, €350 isn't a lot to be living off in this country, especially now no doubt your mates want to start going out for drinks again and stuff. I find it helps if I write down all my outgoings for the week or month ahead as soon as my money comes in. It'll get better! As for making almost 6 figures the last 2 years - you weren't to know that there was a pandemic coming, but it's a lesson learnt to keep some for a rainy day.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 4:59pm

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

There is a big difference between temporary poverty and its enduring cousin.

When I was younger and in college in London, my parents were absolutely against my doing a masters, them being from an era where people with a degree should just immediately get a safe job. So having to fend for myself, I was regularly so broke, I'd have to queue in a bank to withdraw a meagre fiver because it wasn't worth the ATM's while.

So I used to do desperate things -- like living on pasta and butter, or taking part in experiments to earn a tenner, skipping whole days of class to work in nearby restaurants, and would prefer to walk for three hours than take public transport.

That's the poorest I've ever been. The mad thing about it is, I had the time of my life. I had the best experiences of my 20s being around friends who had absolutely nothing, except our bare wits.

Not trying to sound dismissive here, there is a real distinction between genuine poverty vs embarking on an adventure. The key thing here is choice.
I know what it's like to not be able to afford to eat, unable to afford rent, but enduring that prospect indefinitely must be absolutely terrifying.

Most people have experienced poverty, we can handle it when it's a choice. But to be caught in an indefinite poverty trap is tantamount to oppression.

True I know what you're saying, it was your choice to go to London for your masters and you knew it would be tough money wise but its what you wanted so you did it, fair play. But in London there were also people eating pasta and butter probably for weeks on end and it wasn't their choice, they had no other choice. What made it bearable for you and your friends is knowing its temporary. I guess its the same as I was at the weekend ( well really only one day as money was in my bank account on the Saturday unexpectantly ), I knew I was getting paid the next week. I couldn't imagine feeling like that the whole time.

Feisar · 05-07-2021 5:00pm

Slick666 wrote: »

Its horrible. Even on Friday the red light was on my car for diesel so i couldnt even go for a drive. Sooooo trapped

So you went for a walk instead? I don't say that to be a dick, I'm pointing out a mindset. You only think you need money constantly. Now I'm not saying you don't need a steady steam of it but if you got yer medication, the rent is paid and the fridge is full, so what if you haven't a euro to your name?
I know what it's like to not have a washer to my name and yea it requires a bit of getting used to but often it was because I was a payday hero on a monthly basis.

Couple of tips:

Stop buying coffee out, buy a flask.
Same goes for lunches. No harm in going somewhere nice at the weekend but Mon-Fri it's the lunchbox
Electricity/Internet/Other Service, change suppliers every year. Or at least look at options.
Open up yer Amazon account, tot up what you bought in the past year and try and find half of them items now. Then delete the account:p
Shops, apart from the supermarket, don't go into them for a month. Chances are you won't notice a decrease in your quality of life at all. We are constantly buying stuff we don't need.

cgcsb · 05-07-2021 5:01pm

It is terrible I remember having one of those 'graduate jobs' that was far from home so had to rent and had to run a car (costs most of your income at that age with the insurance bills). There were days I was actually quite hungry going to work in my suit and tie, never again. I was boosting things like toilet roll and milk out of the office. Winter time meant going cold quite a bit, I took to charging a large car battery in work under my desk and using that to power a little fan heater at night, it was desperate. Eventually got a proper job closer to home and moved back with parents for a while. Was so nice to be reliably warm and fed.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 5:06pm

The Cool wrote: »

Was mostly broke through college and for a few years after as I did 6 months unpaid internship in Dublin, then a year in the same place paid buttons of a salary, then went out on my own freelancing and that took a couple years to build up to be comfortable. I know well what it's like to have 40 euro to feed you for 3 weeks, and it's such a sh1tty feeling. It makes your world very small, having no social life, I remember a point where I couldn't ask a friend to go for a walk because I knew they'd want ice cream or a coffee and I couldn't afford it but couldn't hack them thinking I was being scabby and wanting them to pay for me.
I'd say I still have money guilt and I absolutely despise food waste. Even now I can tell who was broke in college and whose parents gave them unlimited money for groceries etc. I'm good at budgeting now though and am good at saving.

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, €350 isn't a lot to be living off in this country, especially now no doubt your mates want to start going out for drinks again and stuff. I find it helps if I write down all my outgoings for the week or month ahead as soon as my money comes in. It'll get better! As for making almost 6 figures the last 2 years - you weren't to know that there was a pandemic coming, but it's a lesson learnt to keep some for a rainy day.

Thanks for your reply. yes it makes your world very small. I wanted to go home at the weekend but as I had no money for diesel I couldn't go. So I was trapped in my apartment. Yeah 350 isn't a lot at all, especially if you're used to alot more. I know some might say what does a single person do with all that money but you get used to such a lifestyle don't you? Oh and DD's are a major killer, health insurance, car, rent, loans, taxs etc etc. You're right though, this past weekend has been a major eye opener. I think its actually a lesson for me that my parents didnt bail me out again. I know the horrible feeling and dont want to feel it again.

Feisar · 05-07-2021 5:07pm

cgcsb wrote: »

It is terrible I remember having one of those 'graduate jobs' that was far from home so had to rent and had to run a car (costs most of your income at that age with the insurance bills). There were days I was actually quite hungry going to work in my suit and tie, never again. I was boosting things like toilet roll and milk out of the office. Winter time meant going cold quite a bit, I took to charging a large car battery in work under my desk and using that to power a little fan heater at night, it was desperate. Eventually got a proper job closer to home and moved back with parents for a while. Was so nice to be reliably warm and fed.

Them's the times that make you.

PhilOssophy · 05-07-2021 5:16pm

I think we have all done it OP - I was skint after college, owed thousands to a family member, had a maxed out credit card.
Debt is such a burden. I literally saved every cent I had to clear the credit card, that was the big one to get rid of. Then, I started to clear the family member debt.
It took me a while and there was no social life but it was the best feeling in the world to get rid of all the debt. I was always afraid I'd die owing a family member money and literally having nothing left behind to pay back.

Agree with the tips above.
1. Everything you buy, think "can I do this myself". E.g coffee, take away, beer, etc.
2. Track your spending. Start with an Excel spreadsheet, or an app. You'll quickly see whether what you are spending is necessary.
3. Cycle or walk, rather than driving. It'll save you money
4. Do something to upskill while you are on the PUP. Be it an online course, whatever. You might be able to earn more money after as a result after.
5. Don't be afraid to ask your parents for help. Most parents only want what's best for their child. They might be able to help.

Real Life · 05-07-2021 5:27pm

I don't consider myself broke really, because I never have to go a day without food or anything like that. But I live paycheck to paycheck. Im the sole provider for my girlfriend and young son also and by the time I pay rent, bills, car costs etc I dont have anything for even small luxuries or savings.

It does sometimes get me a bit down that I work hard 5 days a week and Im struggling this much. Im early thirties and can't see how I could ever buy my own house or decent car but I try not to think about it too much and just keep doing what I can.

05-07-2021 5:30pm

Was on the dole/equivalent money for a good while and it was only when I started working I realised just how stressed I had been for years because of not having money.
Last year was rough towards the end of the year too, blew through my savings but am doing alright now. It's a **** feeling and one that isn't always obvious.

turnfan · 05-07-2021 5:32pm

It's a horrible feeling - but a lot of it is pride too.

My advice: Always pay yourself first (i.e save) before you pay anybody else.
Even if you are on PUP, put €20 into a savings account. At least you have the feeling of accumulating something.

Of course, do your best to clear any expensive debt. Or at least spread it out over a longer term, with the option to pay off early later to beat the extra interest

I took out a 30k @ 7% car loan in 2019, I can afford it, have repaid some of it early, it was good value EV and will pay for itself over long term..... but I still regret it.

Another good tip is wait 24hrs on any expenditure over 1% of your annual net income. (Some places say use gross, but i see no reason to use gross)

I'd do the same on my monthly income outside of essentials. "Why am I buying this?" Often it's to just feel better...not unlike emotional eating.

lalababa · 05-07-2021 5:35pm

I'm the opposite, never without a few bob in my pocket. Was never broke. Then again I spend f##k all.

fryup · 05-07-2021 5:37pm

Slick666 wrote: »

Yeah 350 isn't a lot at all, .

wha

sure people on the regular dole only get 200ish, 350 is a handsome amount in comparison

Degag · 05-07-2021 6:08pm

OP, when you get back working after the PUP, set up a savings account with a direct debit for X amount into it every payday.

You won't even know the money is gone as you'll treat it like a normal bill - car insurance, Sky etc.

But in a few months you'll have built a nice bit up. And when you do, when you see how much you are saving, it will give you the impetus to continue and save even more.

If you don't, the money will only stay in your current account and you'll find some way of spending it - probably foolishly!!

The Cool · 05-07-2021 7:04pm

fryup wrote: »

wha

sure people on the regular dole only get 200ish, 350 is a handsome amount in comparison

And some people in employment get 1,000ish, 350 is a crap amount in comparison...

1400 a month isn't an awful lot, depending on where you live especially, and maybe OP has made financial commitments based on his last salary, such as rent, that he can't just suddenly change now. Yes you'd get by, lots of us did during the last 15 months, but it can take some adjusting and it can really grind you down when it lasts for months on end.

I know there are people out there making that in their weekly wage, waiters, retail etc, but doesn't that speak volumes about how we pay our "unskilled" labour? Also, didn't it used to be general sound financial advice that your home should cost about maximum 1/4 of your monthly income? Good luck with that in any Irish city...

completedit · 05-07-2021 7:05pm

Living abroad. It's amazing being able to go into the shop now and spend what I want. The good thing is my reference point is so low that a 20 euro shop seems like a spree. I didn't feel that broke because was relying on a loan while studying but when I got home **** hit the fan. I'm just thankful I was as thrifty as I could possibly be.

Feisar · 05-07-2021 7:23pm

fryup wrote: »

wha

sure people on the regular dole only get 200ish, 350 is a handsome amount in comparison

In fairness they aren’t paying top dollar in rent, so there is that.

fryup · 05-07-2021 7:47pm

Feisar wrote: »

In fairness they aren’t paying top dollar in rent, so there is that.

and how do you know?

they also might not be getting rent allowance, as some landlords are iffy about it

Feisar · 05-07-2021 8:31pm

fryup wrote: »

and how do you know?

they also might not be getting rent allowance, as some landlords are iffy about it

OK it was a generalisation, however outside of a shed in Leitrim the maths don’t add up. €203 a week, so €879 a month. Hardly affording rent out of that.

Edit - I wasn’t referring to the OP in my previous post. I was pointing out the 350 vs 200 isn’t a like for like comparison.

Slick666 · 05-07-2021 9:33pm

I am getting rent. So Im getting around €475 a week on PUP.

Tork · 05-07-2021 11:10pm

Slick666 wrote: »

I'm past the college age though I'm ashamed to say. I can't save a bean even though I don't own a house, I am renting thought. I was on nearly 6 figures for the last 2 years and I've nothing to show for it. I spend spend spend! I'm foolish with money, I was scammed of nearly €1,000 a couple of years ago with Bitcoin. I need to do a savings course or something haha. My family are just exasperated with me at this stage.

Have you heard of the 50/20/30 rule? If you're not good with money and like to spend it, it'll be hard to put a stop to that habit. But if you get into the habit of taking away €x every payday and moving it into a separate bank account, it'll give you less disposable money to blow. It gives you an idea of what you should be putting away for a rainy day. What might also help is if you put a fixed amount of money into a Revolut account and try to use that to cover your day to day expenses as you go. Also, as mentioned above, keep a spending diary. You'll be surprised how much money you fritter away. If you're coming down from earning €90k+ a year to €475pw, it's an adjustment but still.... You really need to find out where the hell all your money is going and where you can cut back on your spending. It is kind of mind-blowing to think that you were earning such a high wage and ended up without a pot to piss in.

The feeling of being broke!!

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