Being childfree during covid-19

beauf · 06-04-2021 10:36am

Sparkey84 wrote: »

of course it is a challenge for everyone but all people with or without children relate to their own perspectives.

if persons x's biggest problem for the whole pandemic is childcare then through their eyes childcare is the biggest problem of the pandemic period

if person y's biggest problem is paying the bills then money is the biggest problem.

very few of us are self aware of just how narrow our view is.

i had to go to work during pandemic i had no choice but if i did work form home and mind kids in tandem then i would expect concessions on productivity because it would be harder.

i know you don't have kids but if you had another commitment like caring for an elderly relitive during working from home i expect that might drop your productivity?

Some people are not very empathetic about other people, the world revolves around them and thats it. Its usually very noticeable, they'll spend the majority of every conversation talking about them. Doesn't matter if they have kids or not.

That said its a lot easier to know what's going on with other other people if you've experienced it, or someone close to you have experienced it.

So you might have a a brother or sister with kids, and you help out and even though you've no kids of your own, you will know and have experience of what's going. Other people will take no interest in siblings or friends with kids and thus will have no experience of it.

I say kids but it could be some issue like illness, or elderly inlaws of sibling.

Evd-Burner · 06-04-2021 10:54am

bubblypop wrote: »

Lol, the lads I work with openly admit to 'coming to work for a break'
Plenty of slackers
Some people work, some are lazy. That's the way people are made.

Lol, most in work who have kids say this, I mean you can actually take a coffee break and lunch where you don't also have to prepare food for the kids and answer a million questions. I would argue its a mental breaker, where you can actually concentrate on something :P

beauf · 06-04-2021 11:17am

Evd-Burner wrote: »

Lol, most in work who have kids say this, I mean you can actually take a coffee break and lunch where you don't also have to prepare food for the kids and answer a million questions. I would argue its a mental breaker, where you can actually concentrate on something :P

Change is as good a rest etc.

Its also a joke, not meant to be taken literally.

[Deleted User] · 06-04-2021 11:43am

beauf wrote: »

Change is as good a rest etc.

Its also a joke, not meant to be taken literally.

You don't know the lads I work with

Sunny Disposition · 06-04-2021 1:59pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I find it laughable how patronising people with kids are to people without, especially women. I get so much smug pity, the 'poor you, it might not be too late' sort of thing from other women who have kids.

Then the pandemic kicked off and suddenly they want to be victims and martyrs. Suddenly they're having a harder time than the rest of us, actually having to look after the kids they chose to have. They expect special treatment, as if the rest of us don't have our own hardships and challenges, like health issues or relatives to care for, stuff we didn't choose.

I honestly think many people with kids are secretly jealous and resentful of those without. I suspect a lot of them made a bad decision because they went along with the crowd like sheep and now realise they'd have been happier without a family but it's too late.

I do recognise that it must be challenging to have young kids at home vying for attention when you're trying to work, but I won't tolerate any expectation that I'll do people's work or compensate for them. I'll offer if I feel like it, but the second I get a whiff of entitlement or expectation, I'm out.

Of course you shouldn’t pick up the slack for anyone else, certainly not without extra pay.

I doubt many parents are jealous of people without kids though, most people just deal with what’s in front of them and don’t worry that much about whatever choices other people make. It’s the best way to live really.

Neyite · 06-04-2021 6:10pm

beauf wrote: »

A single person might have other issues, depression etc, a person with one kid, might have a difficult kid, someone with 4 kids might have 4 angels and have no issues.

On the flip side, some people find everything difficult. that's just who they are.

Our workplace has a lot of parents, but there's no distinction between parents and non parents - people need personal time /emergency time for a myiad of reasons and that's how it should be. I don't think I could work for a manager who discriminated against someone in favour of a parent.

[Deleted User] · 06-04-2021 6:25pm

Its comes down to fairness I think, regardless of the issue at hand.

One example is a place I worked years ago was open 364 days a years, from 9am to 1am. Come Xmas, the locals took care of the Xmas Eve and Stephens Day shifts and the folks from down the country took care of the New Years Eve/New Years Day shifts.

People can tolerate allowances and accommodations being made so long as nobody takes the piss, once that happens, the business loses good people

[Deleted User] · 06-04-2021 10:49pm

magicbastarder wrote: »

i was bemused to see in a couple of colleagues, that when their first kid was born, for about the first six months their attitude was 'nothing is more important than my kid, the job comes second' (which is a perfectly healthy attitude in my book), but that fades into an 'oh ****, i've got to provide for this kid for the next couple of decades' and they went into overwork mode.

I think it’s the old saying of what did I do all day when I didn’t have kids?

Many work Parents I know seem to be highly organised and seem to achieve so much in the space of a day- I guess you just have to get on with things and be Uber organised.

paperflights · 06-04-2021 11:02pm

Like everyone else here I'm sure, my life has changed so much in the last year. I've gone from working in a busy office to working fully from home. Personally, it's reinforced how much I (and my partner) enjoy peace and quiet! It sounds stupid but I love waking up to a quiet house that's relatively tidy. I see colleagues on Zoom trying to juggle homeschooling/ constant kid interruptions and I just know that it isn't for me.

witchgirl26 · 07-04-2021 3:18pm

I think the whole culture of "well I have it harder than you" leads to an awful lot of problems. I was back in work 6 weeks after maternity leave when the first lockdown happened so had an 8 month old at home while trying to work. It was really tough I won't lie. Same time my child-free best friend was home by herself and found it difficult in different ways to me. I appreciate that it's not like she had it all lovely & easy during the pandemic. And it's not like I had it sooo tough. She appreciated that it's not easy trying to work around naps etc with a small child & I appreciated that it could be extremely lonely being by herself to the extent she was.

We did both admit to each other that we were slightly jealous of each other in small ways - me that she had time to herself & could do the projects in her house that she wants & her that I had people with me at home so had someone to chat to not over the phone.

beauf · 07-04-2021 6:43pm

Your employer can insist you take parental leave in one block and that effectively blocks many from being able to take it. It may be statutory but it can be blocked. So it's really unpaid leave at the discretion of your employer. Taking a personal day or such.

Someone not doing their job properly or taking unpaid leave with no one to cover their work is really an issue of management.

Sparkey84 · 08-04-2021 9:52am

DaCor wrote: »

Its comes down to fairness I think, regardless of the issue at hand.

One example is a place I worked years ago was open 364 days a years, from 9am to 1am. Come Xmas, the locals took care of the Xmas Eve and Stephens Day shifts and the folks from down the country took care of the New Years Eve/New Years Day shifts.

People can tolerate allowances and accommodations being made so long as nobody takes the piss, once that happens, the business loses good people

very good point, i think the work ethic and decency of a co worker is far more important than whether they are a parent or not. i know one guy that comes to mind, when you are dependent on his productivity you know you are in for a sh!te time, he regularly uses his kids as an excuse. if he was not a parent i do not believe this would change his productivity, it would only change his excuses.

Aleece2020 · 08-06-2021 12:54am

Effects wrote: »

Yeah, I think you really don't understand how hard it is for people to work from home while having to look after one/two/three little shíts.

That's the whole point of being childfree. We don't want to understand how hard that **** is.

magicbastarder · 08-06-2021 8:38am

There are lots of things I don't want to experience, yet I will seek to understand. Just because you're child free, doesn't mean you don't care or understand how hard it is for others.

Being childfree during covid-19

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