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14 year old daughter and LGBT content

  • 13-12-2020 11:26pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1


    My daugther identifies as pansexual and I have no issue with this in general. She is who she is and I accept that. What I am concerned about is how much of her life revolves around the LGBT culture.

    We recently had a chat about her Twitter which gives the impression that she's single handedly fighting for LGBT rights in the world: 98% of the Tweets/Retweets are of that theme. No other interests can be indentified in the feed.

    She is a gifted artist but only draws LGBT type characters. If her art teacher didn't give assignments I wouldn't know what else she is capable of drawing. Any requests from me for other types of drawings are met with "That's boring" or "No, this is what I enjoy so I'm doing it".

    Her grades are excellent but I just worry about her from a social perspective. At family or other social gatherings she only really speaks when an LGBT issues comes up in discussion.

    Any guidance on what I should do?


Comments

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,126 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    She’s 14, she’ll grown up a bit and find additional passion in other areas of life, she’s just heavily focused on this right now, lots of teens go through an obsession with something, nothing you can really do, I’d imagine any slight attempt to coerce her away from it will in fact intensify it more! Just leave her


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,705 ✭✭✭✭Hello 2D Person Below


    I can't see any red flags in what you've written.

    We all have passions and LGBT rights are where her interests lie at the moment.

    Her grades are excellent and she's not out causing mischief.

    As for the family/social gatherings, 14 is a funny auld age to be at. I would've been fair quite myself at that age, especially at wider social gatherings. In unfamiliar company I wouldn't have been comfortably chatting unless the topic was sport.


  • Registered Users Posts: 711 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Speaking from a personal perspective if I was in your shoes I’d be a bit concerned about her obsession with lesbianism at such a young age, she’s only a kid really and could realize in a few years she’s not gay at all I’d definitely encourage her to take other interests


  • Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭guitarhappy


    Speaking from a personal perspective if I was in your shoes I’d be a bit concerned about her obsession with lesbianism at such a young age, she’s only a kid really and could realize in a few years she’s not gay at all I’d definitely encourage her to take other interests

    Nowhere in the Original Post does it say she's a lesbian or is obsessed with "lesbianism." And, by 14 she knows what her orientation is. The parent is good with that part of it, why aren't you?


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,126 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    Speaking from a personal perspective if I was in your shoes I’d be a bit concerned about her obsession with lesbianism at such a young age, she’s only a kid really and could realize in a few years she’s not gay at all I’d definitely encourage her to take other interests

    Honestly laughable if you’d think “encouraging” “other interests” would be in any way effective anyway lol


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 19,219 Mod ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    Speaking from a personal perspective if I was in your shoes I’d be a bit concerned about her obsession with lesbianism at such a young age, she’s only a kid really and could realize in a few years she’s not gay at all I’d definitely encourage her to take other interests

    Ah, the it's a phase she'll grow out of it trope.
    Speaking from my personal perspective I knew I was a lesbian at a much younger age, am now in my late 50s and have yet to realise I'm not gay.
    The OP said his daughter identifies as pansexual btw, not as a lesbian.

    OP, I really wouldn't worry, becoming immersed in something to the point of obsession is usual for teenagers, as another poster said for them it was sports. My son as a teenager was a gamer- he had no other topic of conversation (lordy it was dull for the rest of us) and now he's complaining that his 14 year old daughter only talks about art, only wants to do her art, is obsessed with art, I should stop taking her to art suppliers as he's trying to get her to do other things, meanwhile he's a 36 year old gamer who could still bore for Ireland...


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I think its great that your daughter is so open about it. That alone is huge and will stand to her, and you as well. Not every teen has that safety net at home where they feel they can be open about their sexuality so you deserve praise for that.

    I wouldn't worry too much at this stage about her "obsession" for want of a better word. At that age its normal enough to get into activism regardless of your sexuality and this is obviously a cause close to her heart. She will either grow out of it or it will take a backseat as other things become important to her. And maybe she won't but that's not a bad thing either once she keeps a sense of perspective.

    At 14 its easy to feel self conscious about these things and keep them on the down low but she's standing up for something that is important to her. She sounds like an amazing girl, I admire her. We need more people like her in the world. Well done to her and well done to you and your partner for raising such a confident kid.


  • Registered Users Posts: 711 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Ah, the it's a phase she'll grow out of it trope.
    Speaking from my personal perspective I knew I was a lesbian at a much younger age, am now in my late 50s and have yet to realise I'm not gay.
    The OP said his daughter identifies as pansexual btw, not as a lesbian.

    OP, I really wouldn't worry, becoming immersed in something to the point of obsession is usual for teenagers, as another poster said for them it was sports. My son as a teenager was a gamer- he had no other topic of conversation (lordy it was dull for the rest of us) and now he's complaining that his 14 year old daughter only talks about art, only wants to do her art, is obsessed with art, I should stop taking her to art suppliers as he's trying to get her to do other things, meanwhile he's a 36 year old gamer who could still bore for Ireland...

    Ou feminist


  • Registered Users Posts: 711 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Nowhere in the Original Post does it say she's a lesbian or is obsessed with "lesbianism." And, by 14 she knows what her orientation is. The parent is good with that part of it, why aren't you?

    Why are you being so aggressive?


  • Registered Users Posts: 10 spait0e60


    I think the "single mindedness" of teenagers has been around a long time so I would not be overly concerned about that. As others have said it can be sports, movies, music gaming or anything. She seems like she's found her tribe and as such it will be an echo chamber so I would actually "lean into it" and open up discussions that she is interested in. If she's on social media it can be very polarising and lacking in any kind of structured debate so it might be good to get her to see both sides of any debate.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭A Knight of Ireland


    I would look outside the box. Is there anything in her life that is missing? Most of these obsessions can be a cry for help or a cry to fit in.

    I'm not saying anything negative about the LGBTQ culture but I wouldn't just accept this obsession as a phase.

    Hope it works out for you both



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,890 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Mod Note
    This thread is 11 months old.
    S




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