2021 Bride/Groom

Michellenman · 02-11-2020 4:42pm

Sunday might be ok as lots of salons are closed on sundays. There might be stylists available from your regular hairdressers who could do a house call for you on the day?

XxMCRxBabyxX · 02-11-2020 4:55pm

woodchuck wrote: »

She might have a backup to cover for her?

Out of interest... how difficult is it to find someone to do hair? My plan all along was to have my brothers girlfriend do my hair (she's professionally trained). They live in Canada though. They've booked their flights for the wedding in May, but obviously I've no idea if they'll actually be able to come. I haven't booked a backup, as I don't want to throw money away on a non-refundable deposit.

We're getting married on a Sunday though, so I'm hoping if I'm stuck, I'll be able to find someone to do my hair closer to the time? If they're even allowed by then...

I haven't heard from her either way so am just hoping she has a plan!

Honestly, I had a nightmare finding someone nearly 18 months in advance but we're on a bank holiday Saturday so probably one of the more in demand dates. I'd agree with Michellenman and consider asking your own salon. I had my own hair dresser on reserve at one point but she lives the other side of the country from our venue.

woodchuck · 02-11-2020 4:57pm

Michellenman wrote: »

Sunday might be ok as lots of salons are closed on sundays. There might be stylists available from your regular hairdressers who could do a house call for you on the day?

Yeah I'm hoping that'll be the case. I actually don't have a regular hairdresser atm though... just moved house

I'm hoping I can get somebody if I'm stuck though.

I know there are more important things in the Covid-world, but it makes planning a wedding an absolute nightmare. Things that I had struck off my list before are complete unknowns now. My hair is just one example. The hotel we were planning to stay in for our wedding night is closed atm and can't get in touch with them to find out if/when they'll be reopening (we're getting married at a restaurant it was an ordeal to find somewhere that didn't mind me checking in wearing a wedding dress). We'll only be able to do a menu tasting with our venue if we get back down to level 3. I think it'll need to be level 3 to have dress alterations done too and normally it's done very close to the time. I'm afraid to even touch base with my MUA because she has a minimum call out of 4 people, which was fine before, but may not be anymore (honestly, my own sister can't tell me if she'll come to our wedding). Sorry, end rant...

Michellenman · 02-11-2020 5:06pm

I feel the exact same woodchuck. I know that covid is so so serious and I’m very aware that in the grand scheme of covid weddings are frivolous affairs but it’s really sucked all the fun out of it. If things are at level 3 then no hen or stag (even at home!) no menu tasting, no hair or make up trials, no casual day after, no honeymoon. And the things that can go ahead will be really impacted. Shopping for a wedding dress in a mask was actually quite difficult, the alterations will be same probably.

I’ve spent the morning trying to arrange back up vendors for if we have to postpone and it’s so hard and we are probably going to have to just suck up losing some 2021 deposits or paying deposits for a 2022 date and then not having to use them and potentially losing those deposits.

In good news, my wedding band arrived today and it’s beautiful. I had a firm idea of what i wanted but it was very expensive. I bought a ring at auction that had all the stones I needed but in the wrong setting. I got Greenes Jewellers on Angier st to reset the stones in to the ring that I wanted and it is really really beautiful. It’s absolutely perfect and it cost about 30% of what I was quoted for buying it new

XxMCRxBabyxX · 02-11-2020 5:14pm

I'm feeling exactly the same as well. It's the lack of certainty and having no idea of what we will and won't be able to do. I suffer from anxiety at the best of times and this is not helping it one bit. I'm trying to continue planning as normal but it all feels a bit pointless when I have no idea what my wedding will look like it or if it will even be able to go ahead.

Congrats on the ring Michellenman!

Lollipops23 · 02-11-2020 5:19pm

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I'm feeling exactly the same as well. It's the lack of certainty and having no idea of what we will and won't be able to do. I suffer from anxiety at the best of times and this is not helping it one bit. I'm trying to continue planning as normal but it all feels a bit pointless when I have no idea what my wedding will look like it or if it will even be able to go ahead.

I'm the very same. At first we forged ahead and planned/booked everything. Right about now we should be ironing out some of the finer, more fun details but it's all so, so up in the air.

Faith · 02-11-2020 8:37pm

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

So, as if Covid anxiety wasn't enough, I've just found out through my hair stylist's instagram that she's pregnant! I have no idea how far along but am now worried if a new baby will impact whether she'll be available for our wedding in June! It was so hard to find someone when I first went looking that I'm very worried that I'll be doing my own hair if she can't!

When I was getting married, my mum tried to book a makeup trial with my MUA a few months before the wedding and found out then my MUA was pregnant. I freaked out and sent a panicked email to the MUA, who assured me she would be back in action by my wedding. She was too, even though she was only about 6 weeks postpartum from what I remember.

I remember how anxious I was though, and had a lot of feelings around how i thought the mua should have told me about her pregnancy just in case. My husband entirely disagreed and thought I was massively over-reacting. In retrospect, he was right but it’s still a very anxiety-provoking situation!

XxMCRxBabyxX · 02-11-2020 9:05pm

I know I'm probably worrying unnecessarily. I think it's just a case of yet another thing to be anxious about!

Neyite · 03-11-2020 5:58pm

I've yet to book hair and makeup but I'd manage on my own if I had to. I want to book a photographer so I might drop the one I had decided on a line to see if he's available for the new date.

Dress-wise, it will need alterations so I'm thinking that I'll also book in that.

I lost all motivation though, probably due to the uncertainty of any potential plans.

woodchuck · 03-11-2020 6:43pm

I'm not a girly girl at all, so wouldn't have a clue where to even start with my hair and makeup

If I was someone who did their own hair/makeup regularly on nights out etc I mightn't mind too much, but I know I'd just make a balls of it cause I have zero experience.

I'm worried about dress alterations too. I had to collect my dress from the bridal shop because they have no room to store all the dresses now due to so many postponements. They gave me the name of the alternation place they use. I was in touch with them a month or two ago just to flag that I'd need alterations next year, but have no appointments booked. I assume these appointments can't go ahead in level 4 or 5 though? But usually alterations are done over a few appointments starting about a month before the wedding to make sure it's a good fit. So it's not like it's something I can just check off my list in December when we'll hopefully go down to level 3, because what if I gain/lose weight then before the wedding in May

Neyite · 03-11-2020 7:08pm

That's the issue with the dress for me as well. In June when we were deciding whether to go ahead with just us and witnesses, or postpone a year, one factor for me was the dress - that sounds vain but really it was down to not wanting to have wasted money on what's literally one of the most expensive items of clothing I've ever bought by not being able to wear it.

Though I do a bit of sewing, there's no way I have the skill to disassemble a bridal gown, correctly fit it to my own shape, and resew it together.

woodchuck · 17-11-2020 3:57pm

This may be of interest to anyone who still needs to buy their wedding shoes...

Rainbow Club have their Black Friday Sale on their website. 85% off selected lines. Unfortunately the pair I wanted weren't included, but it's still 20% off full price lines with the code BF2020. I've been humming and hawing over buying shoes online, but have heard great things about Rainbow Club, so figured it was worth a shot at 20% off!

https://www.rainbowclub.co.uk/

yourdeadwright · 20-11-2020 12:11pm

We have had our ceremony booked for a year now for next September and where basically hours away from paying and booking our venue in March before Covid shut down the country ,

We had cold feet since and decided to hold off booking anything but in the last week decided we are just going to go ahead and try get everything booked up for next September,

Are we mad at this late stage trying to a venue and venders booked for next September ?

Do you reckon new should book for the number we want 110-120 or go and look at a place that would suit better for 50 seen as that is the number with current restrictions ?

What do you guys think ?

woodchuck · 20-11-2020 12:23pm

I don't think you're mad trying to get everything sorted for September. Our original timeline was similar and it's definitely doable, but I was tearing my hair out from the stress of it all tbh (and that was before Covid!!).

However my own personal advice would be to push it out a bit, even by a few months, for your own sanity. Planning will be more difficult while we're still flip flopping in and out of restrictions. So you might just want to give yourself a little extra leeway. It's also much more likely that things will getting back to normal the longer you leave it.

The stress of trying to plan/postpone/plan a wedding during Covid has been unreal. Save yourself the hassle if you're not under time pressure. Honestly, it's nearly impossible to plan anything because the restrictions just keep changing. Will you be able to have live music? Dancing? Candy carts (if that's your thing)? Can you get your hair and makeup done? Will you have to finish up by 11.30pm? Will you have to wear masks during the ceremony? How many guests can you invite? How many guests per table? These are all major concerns until things go back to normal.

We're due to get married in May and I'm very seriously considering postponing again. The OH wants to get married in May regardless though. I'm not sure what we're going to do tbh. All I know right now is that I'm hangry as fcuk atm because I'm concerned about fitting into the wedding dress I bought pre-Covid :mad: Sorry, rant over.

Neyite · 20-11-2020 12:23pm

We were always going to have a relatively small wedding anyway so it's made current decisions a bit easier. So there were a lot of things we weren't doing - bridal party, band, florist etc so a lot less deposits.

We've decided we'll go along with our original plan and if we need to just do it with us and two witness when the time comes, so be it. Any things that need a deposit we'll work off the assumption that we may lose the deposit.

Not ideal, but what can you do?

yourdeadwright · 20-11-2020 12:50pm

Neyite wrote: »

We were always going to have a relatively small wedding anyway so it's made current decisions a bit easier. So there were a lot of things we weren't doing - bridal party, band, florist etc so a lot less deposits.

We've decided we'll go along with our original plan and if we need to just do it with us and two witness when the time comes, so be it. Any things that need a deposit we'll work off the assumption that we may lose the deposit.

Not ideal, but what can you do?

The ceremony is the big thing for us we are currently undecided on a wedding for 110 or wit the idea of having family and a friend each so like 20 people

yourdeadwright · 20-11-2020 12:54pm

woodchuck wrote: »

I don't think you're mad trying to get everything sorted for September. Our original timeline was similar and it's definitely doable, but I was tearing my hair out from the stress of it all tbh (and that was before Covid!!).

However my own personal advice would be to push it out a bit, even by a few months, for your own sanity. Planning will be more difficult while we're still flip flopping in and out of restrictions. So you might just want to give yourself a little extra leeway. It's also much more likely that things will getting back to normal the longer you leave it.

The stress of trying to plan/postpone/plan a wedding during Covid has been unreal. Save yourself the hassle if you're not under time pressure. Honestly, it's nearly impossible to plan anything because the restrictions just keep changing. Will you be able to have live music? Dancing? Candy carts (if that's your thing)? Can you get your hair and makeup done? Will you have to finish up by 11.30pm? Will you have to wear masks during the ceremony? How many guests can you invite? How many guests per table? These are all major concerns until things go back to normal.

We're due to get married in May and I'm very seriously considering postponing again. The OH wants to get married in May regardless though. I'm not sure what we're going to do tbh. All I know right now is that I'm hangry as fcuk atm because I'm concerned about fitting into the wedding dress I bought pre-Covid :mad: Sorry, rant over.

How many have you planned for in may 50 or for a bigger wedding ?

110/120 would be ideal for us but if we have to 50 we would prefer to go smaller to 15-20 and just do a very fancy dinner after the ceremony and forget about the party part,

Neyite · 20-11-2020 1:05pm

yourdeadwright wrote: »

The ceremony is the big thing for us we are currently undecided on a wedding for 110 or wit the idea of having family and a friend each so like 20 people

It's a personal preference but I think planning anything more than a friends+family type of wedding right now has to be more stressful than anything. Weddings were already quite stressful to arrange, and Covid has just amplified all that to an astonishing degree. Literally rules can change the night before the wedding. I'd be a wreck!

We've said that if we do have to do a "wartime" wedding with just us, witnesses and a priest, we'll still hold a blessing and reception on our anniversary when covid is firmly in the rear view mirror. Would something like that be an option for you?

Nugget89 · 20-11-2020 1:46pm

How are people getting on looking for bands at the moment? I find it hard to judge bands without seeing some sort of live showcase, which is making me delay any decision.

woodchuck · 20-11-2020 1:48pm

yourdeadwright wrote: »

How many have you planned for in may 50 or for a bigger wedding ?

110/120 would be ideal for us but if we have to 50 we would prefer to go smaller to 15-20 and just do a very fancy dinner after the ceremony and forget about the party part,

50 would be ideal for us. That was the number I had in my head even before Covid tbh! We could probably manage with 25, but it would be awkward (e.g. if we both want to invite a few friends, we might have to not invite their partners

).

I'm very worried about the safety end of it though. If one person has it, it WILL spread at a wedding (I mean a full day including a meal and dancing etc, not just a ceremony). I'm not sure I'd be able to relax at all. Even if the day itself is as "amazing" as everyone says (:rolleyes:), I'd be worried for 2 weeks afterwards in case anyone develops symptoms. I'm not sure I could handle the guilt if someone actually got ill because of my wedding.

My parents are very very concerned about the virus. I honestly don't know if they'll even come to the wedding while there's still a pandemic. Maybe they'd come to the ceremony, but I can't see them staying for a drinks reception, meal etc. My sister absolutely will not come until an effective vaccine has been rolled out. My brother is the only family member who's keen to come, but he lives in Canada, so who knows what will be feasible.

If it looks like none of my immediate family will come in May, I think we'll have to postpone again. I'm not sure when we need to make that call though. I might start enquiring with our suppliers about a backup date

Michellenman · 20-11-2020 2:46pm

Woodchuck I was the same as you up until last month and then we decided to book a back up date for reassurance and the relief has been immense. I would really recommend it. I went from barely sleeping with worry of the unknown to barely thinking about it! Our 2021 date in a Saturday in April and we started with our venue and reserved a Saturday in April 2022 with no issues. Then I sent an email to all our vendors asking them if they’re free on the 2022 date and if so can we reserve it. All of our vendors with the exception of our photographer were available for the second date. Our photographer gave us a recommendation for someone else and I rang him, explained the situation and the new photographer agreed to pencil us in & take our deposit but he will return the deposit if we go ahead in 2021. The 2021 photographer has said we can use the deposit we paid him towards an engagement or family photo shoot in the future.

All our suppliers agreed pencil us in for 2022, we paid each of them a second deposit to secure the date and if we go ahead with 2021 then we get the money back if they sell the date to another couple. If we postpone then all bar one (videographer) agreed to transfer our 2021 deposits to the balance due for 2022.

It’s really taken a huge weight off my shoulders. Now I won’t lie, contacting them all and starting the process and organising it all was a bit of a pain during the process but within about 10 days it was all done and I could sleep at night again soundly!

In February we will make the call to go ahead or postpone and that leaves plenty of time to get my dress altered and get trials done etc

woodchuck · 20-11-2020 6:37pm

Thanks Michellenman. I did feel a lot of relief the first time we pinned down a backup date, before deciding to postpone. I'm not sure how accommodating our suppliers will be if we want to do all that again though

They were very good the first time around provisionally holding the backup date as well as the original date, with no extra cost. When we decided to postpone, they all transferred our deposits to the new date.

So I wonder now are all suppliers insisting on a second deposit to hold two dates? It makes sense, but I wouldn't be super keen on that tbh. We'd probably need to do mid-week, so it's much less likely they'd be able to sell the date to another couple

qwerty13 · 21-11-2020 5:11am

I know it’s not as simple as ‘getting married’ versus ‘a party for getting married’. BUT! If you own assets together (a house), if you have kids together, or if there is likely to be any controversy about next if kin if you were ill, then get married, and do the celebrations when COVID is over.

I feel very strongly about that because I know of someone whose partner died unexpectedly. The party who died hadn’t spoken to their family in ten years or so. They weren’t married, and there was no Will. So anything he had has gone to his family. It’s a legal nightmare. Even if he’d had a Will, that still would have meant a large tax liability for his surviving long term partner, which she can’t afford.

I can’t claim to understand all of the ins and outs of their scenario. All I know is that she (my connection) has said how she hugely regrets their stance (which was ‘why do we need to be married, sure we’re committed to each other, we don’t need a bit of paper to prove that). She is involved in legal battles now, his parents who he was estranged from want their house to be sold, and they want ‘their share’ of his death benefit from his work. I don’t know whether they will succeed, but the point is that by their son not having a Will and not being married, they appear to have some sort of case. And she is devastated that their shared home is looking like it will have to be sold.

That story (and it is real) scared the hell out of me. To me it’s 1) if you share children or assets, at a minimum course of action, make a Will. And 2) if you don’t want your partner to suffer re inheritance tax, get married if you own any assets together.

I know that sounds terribly unromantic, but marriage is actually a legally binding contract that confers many rights. The celebration of the marriage is a separate thing. Great if they can happen on the same day, but I’ve seen the utter devastation that not being married can cause, if a partner dies. I don’t mean to be doom and gloom merchant - but I said it to a few friends at the time, and none of them had deeply considered the practicalities in the same way. I guess my point is that by pushing the marriage date out, that’s all very well providing nothing bad happens in the interim. If anything bad were to happen though, pushing the date out if you have any shared assets or pension scheme or death benefits is a really really short sightedly bad idea. Just do the marriage celebration later.

Weepsie · 28-11-2020 2:56pm

So we did it. 22 guests in the end as some had to pull out.

We had the ceremony in the fumbally stables and they were just incredible. Had the 2 rooms upstairs, and brought our own beers, wine and prosecco and paid corkage.

Photographer for the important bits. Their food is amazing too but we didn't stay beyond 7. Went for a private meal in vintage kitchen which is doing wedding sittings. Their chef/owner was genuinely happy to just have people there enjoying the food. We could've stayed in fumbally, and would definitely go to a wedding there.

People were just happy to be out and see peope for the first time in so long

It was stressful sure, but delighted we could do something with most of the very closest people there.

[Deleted User] · 28-11-2020 3:03pm

Weepsie wrote: »

So we did it. 22 guests in the end as some had to pull out.

We had the ceremony in the fumbally stables and they were just incredible. Had the 2 rooms upstairs, and brought our own beers, wine and prosecco and paid corkage.

Photographer for the important bits. Their food is amazing too but we didn't stay beyond 7. Went for a private meal in vintage kitchen which is doing wedding sittings. Their chef/owner was genuinely happy to just have people there enjoying the food. We could've stayed in fumbally, and would definitely go to a wedding there.

People were just happy to be out and see peope for the first time in so long

It was stressful sure, but delighted we could do something with most of the very closest people there.

I'm genuinely delighted to read about your day, huge congratulations to you both!

Michellenman · 28-11-2020 10:07pm

Oh brilliant Weepsie! Congratulations!

Weepsie · 01-12-2020 12:22am

Cheers. I'd highly recommend the venue anyway. We got the entire upstairs space. Ceremony in one room, which could handily fit another 25 people or more standing in normal times. Drinks in the middle connecting/room and then lots of seating and food serviced in the third room, while the ceremony room is turned into a dance area.

Probably wouldn't have a band, but they've decent speakers, and another set of speakers for background music in the other room.

Also, their food is incredible. Best canape style food I've likely ever had.

Forgot to ad, we got some photos taken in the vicinity, around newmarket square/teelings etc. Helped we got a lovely day for it, but we got a lot of genuine congratulations and warmth from complete strangers as they passed by. Think it was a bit of a tonic to some in a miserable year.

woodchuck · 17-12-2020 11:15am

How are other 2021 couples feeling these days?

We have a ring appointment today, but honestly, I just can't get excited about anything anymore. My thoughts are all just negative and shrouded with uncertainty:
- Rings: Let's get them engraved! But not with the date, cause that could change again...
- Accommodation: The place we originally booked is closed for god knows how long.
- MUA: Booked pre-Covid with a minimal call out of 4 people, which I may no longer be able to meet. 2 people is much more likely atm. So may have to cancel and lose a substantial deposit, or pay twice as much for 2 people (which might get wrecked with masks anyway).
- Hair: Is/was to be done by my brothers girlfriend, but that's dependent on them being able to fly over from Canada.
- Dress: between pandemic weight gain and the expected Christmas weight gain, I'm not looking forward to trying to squeeze into it. Even if they can take it out, I know I won't be happy with my figure (I worked SO hard to get my weight down, but it's very difficult to maintain it long term).
- Meal tasting: May not be possible, depending on what level we're in.
- Ceremony: All our guests are expected to wear masks (we're paying a fortune for a good photographer and I really wanted to be able to capture reactions)
- Guestlist: Atm I'm not hopeful about any of my immediate family attending for the full day (maybe my parents for the ceremony). There's also general stress about whether or not we "uninvite" friends who live abroad, for the general safety of the guests living in Ireland. And if numbers stay at 25, we'll need to seriously concern whether we (a) invite close friends, but not their partners or (b) invite half the number of close friends and their partners.
- Hen party: I only ever wanted something low key, but I don't see anything happening at all now.
- Honeymoon: Yeah, like that's going to happen. We'd be very lucky if we could even have a staycation.

Sorry, I'm just looking to rant/vent really.

I'm also not feeling any sort of emotional support from my family. I had to stop talking to my family about it earlier in the year, because they were just making me even more stressed about the whole thing and they were really upsetting me with some of the things they were saying (why haven't we postponed, who'll want to come, that they might not come, that I could be killing our parents if we go ahead etc). So we don't really talk about it at all anymore. But I had started feeling more optimistic for a while with other people sharing their positive experiences etc, so I've brought it up in passing (e.g. buying the rings, looking for shoes), but pretty much got no reaction from them. So I'm guessing their feelings haven't changed, but I don't want to call them out and have another argument about it. I just would've thought at this stage if I mentioned something specific about the wedding that I'd be met with a little bit of interest/excitement from them, especially with some light at the end of the tunnel now with the vaccines. My sister actually told me recently that we should postpone again to make sure everyone is vaccinated for the wedding (don't even know if it's possible to postpone again without losing thousands in deposits).

My friends don't have much interest either. I just feel like I'm getting a bum deal overall. When other friends got married, there was always excitement about organising the hen etc, but there's literally none of that with me. Before the pandemic my MOH and I had explored some hen party ideas, but that has obviously fallen to the wayside during the pandemic. It would just be nice if someone would suggest SOMETHING workable, even if it was just a zoom thing. But I feel like nobody really cares anymore.

Neyite · 17-12-2020 12:35pm

That sounds pretty sh!tty woodchuck

I've lost motivation a bit as well. The only light on the horizon is that a lot of my guests would be in vulnerable groups therefore priority to get the vaccine, and a good chance they'd have theirs before the wedding so it makes me feel happier about putting on an event.

I'm ignoring the covid-stone as they call it. After Christmas I'll get into an exercise plan but I want to enjoy food at Christmas.

woodchuck · 17-12-2020 3:38pm

Thanks Neyite.

I don't think our relatives fall into any particularly vulnerable category, so they might not be vaccinated by the time the wedding comes around.

The diet and exercise regimes resumes in January!

We had our appointment for the rings at lunchtime, but left feeling a little disappointed. The OH's is too big, so will need to be resized, but they said to wait until closer to the wedding for that. And we need to wait until it's resized to get them engraved. So we've just left the rings with them for now and will go back again in a few months - just feels like we made no progress! It's kind of annoying, because we both used to work very close to the place, so would've been easy to pop in at lunchtime pre-Covid. Now it's nearly an hour drive away while we're wfh. God I miss working in town...

2021 Bride/Groom

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