I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

If this is not a wind up I think the OP's basic problem is his own outlook. From things he has said he very deeply believes that his way is right and learning to accommodate local customs is a concession on his part, something he should be given credit for, since it is evidently wrong but he will do it because...why?

He is looking for an entire population to be aware of his efforts and to appreciate them, at which stage he will feel free to point out the errors of local ways and expect everyone to jump and say, yes you are right, we never realised what a mess we were making of things, we will look to you for your wisdom.

As some people have already said, this is real culture shock stuff, but only he can sort it. Society is not going to adjust to his requirements, either he accepts the things that annoy him and try and see the best of them, or he takes his Irish wife off to wherever he is from and she will surely appreciate the perfection of that place.

There is also the point that I can call my brother an ass**** but don't you dare agree with me, or call him that yourself!

I don't think there is a lot of hope for the OP, he is way too blinkered, unimaginative and unaware to live outside his own bubble.

I would add that looking back over my many years here, the majority of people I would consider friends are not Irish. Not a conscious choice, just that Irish people, while friendly and easy to deal with, are very difficult to get to know personally unless there is a family connection or a contact from childhood and teens. My children, having grown up here, have mostly Irish friends that they have known since schooldays.

It can take a long time to realise that the rapport you have with someone you have met in a social setting does not go beyond the environment in which it is created, there will never be casual admittance to the family or home situation. I suspect this is not an entirely Irish thing, its just that if you come to live here it is what you will experience as apparently Irish. It is something you accept and adapt to, and get on with your life.

may i ask you a question? this is not a spam or something, but have you ever used a SwitchOnShop? if yes, then what do you think about it? as for me it is a really good shop,but i just wanted to read some reviews about it. thank you.

arria_5 you are in the wrong forum, suggest you click on the 'topics' tag at the top of this page and find a more suitable one.

Doh! Need more coffee.

CrankyHaus wrote: »

In Ireland we follow the UK in seeing it, rightly or wrongly, as an exclusionary term of privilege.


.

No we don't.
Middle class is just middle class.
How is the middle class privileged in Ireland, for one they pay a shocking amount of tax and get very few benefits for it .

looksee wrote: »

I don't think there is a lot of hope for the OP, he is way too blinkered, unimaginative and unaware to live outside his own bubble.

Nah I don't think that's fair. He's already conceded only in the space of this thread that he is learning about different cultural communication.

There certainly is hope, but it's worth noting to the OP that very well mannered conversation "Hello Sir, how are you today", IMO, is generally reserved for formal or business situations. I think the "friendliness" of the Irish is down to how casual we are when speaking to a total stranger.

I suspect this will also explain the casual racism (or perhaps xenophobia would be a more accurate term?). In my experience, Irish humour/ sarcasm/ banter which tends to be insulting really doesn't translate well at all to non Irish. This is something I myself need to be aware of when travelling so as not to get misunderstood.

As another poster said, I think it's culture shock and I think it will just take some time.

Hi New to Ireland,
I used to be new too, many years ago, it's hard to be foreigner in general, everywhere. I'd say give Ireland a chance, you'll get to know people and maybe change your opinion. Maybe some things you take as rudeness are really not, but cultural differences. Like talking/ behaving more openly vs hiding your true thoughts, emotions etc. so many different cultural norms. There are people from many different cultures in Ireland, also different generations engage in different way with people they don't know, there are many factors. Personal circumstances are colouring our view of others too. People who don't know you neither hate or love you, we're all busy with our lives. And it's not strangers job to make anyone's day, even if it sounds brutal. Life is not tv series, but, in general, Irish people are very nice and warm and helpful, in my opinion, but as in every culture, they need to know you a bit closer, it's human nature not to trust strangers.

CrankyHaus wrote: »

Yeah I'm not talking about the reality, but the perception.
Go into a pub, or anywhere in Ireland, and tell people that you're middle class and enjoy the reaction.
For many if not most people here it carries negative overtones of poshness and snobbery, which we absorbed from British culture with it's intense class consciousness.

In the US the term middle-class generally doesn't have these negative overtones.

All the middle class people I know would never describe themselves as working class. I don't come from a particularly rich area or background either. They'd probably laugh if you said you were working class or vice versa as they know it's simply not true.

Seems like there's a lot more diversity out there than you think .