Mc donalds application

Sauron · 29-05-2003 1:22pm #1

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

de5p0i1er · 30-05-2003 7:12am

If only it was that easy to get a job in this country.

Antisocialiser · 30-05-2003 11:13am

Thats one of the funniest things that been on this forum in ages

Sign - aries ROFLMAO

^whitey^ · 31-05-2003 7:18pm

Must try that sometime

Kappar · 01-06-2003 10:42am

Originally posted by Sauron16
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

Excellent

vibe666 · 01-07-2003 10:05am

see, your mother was right.

Honesty is the best policy.

Sarky · 01-07-2003 10:21am

Aye, good stuff.

...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

And staff turnover doesn't get a look in?

nanook · 01-07-2003 10:22am

i would hire him, i have to say hounesty is the best police.

Tyrrial · 01-07-2003 1:12pm

that really is very cool.. i like it a lot.
when you really think about if he had put down:
"i want this job to help support my drug habbit"
McDonald's would have made him manager

Saruman · 01-07-2003 1:17pm

Originally posted by Tyrrial
when you really think about if he had put down:
"i want this job to help support my drug habbit"
McDonald's would have made him manager

Of course... if he has a drug habbit he will have no choice but to stay working to feed the habbit... It would be the first time in history that a McDonalds manager stayed past the age of 13!