toilets

woosaysdan

whats the funniest thing to happen to you while in a toilet???
i would have to say one time i was going to the toilet in a pub when i heard a knock on the wall nad a voice saying "hey mate pass us in some toilet paper will ya?" well i never laughed so much in all my life!!! oh and keep to the topic please

Nemici

the worst thing that ever happened to me was :

I was at my fcuk buddys house preparing for a night of wink wink nudge nudge and unfortuntely got the runs, I kept having to leave her flat and go up the hall to the toilet.

really bad cramps. so there is only one roll of newly opened toilet paper so I pick it up and it slips out of my hand into the jacks full of the entire contents of my bowels.

Its far too large to flush so I have to fish it out. I was panicked about what to do with it so I drop it out the window.

I go back to the flat and get a glass of water, what do I see on the outside windowsill about 6 feet away.

the rogue ****ty toilet paper.

oh the shame.........

Saruman

One roll of bog roll and it slips into your shít? Forgive me for asking but what the fudge did you wipe your arse with before you went back to your fcuk buddy?

woosaysdan

yeah what did you wipe your arse with?

Nemici

lets just say I went home without any socks on.

Dont Ban Me

Holy s**t I just cant stop laughing!! I think my lecturer thinks I have a severe problem!!

Okie

Originally posted by Nemici
lets just say I went home without any socks on.

Surely there was a shower curtain in the toilet?

Rabies

Originally posted by Dont Ban Me
Holy s**t I just cant stop laughing!! I think my lecturer thinks I have a severe problem!!

myself and Dont ban me were in bits laughing at that.
definitly had a great laugh with that. its more exciting than listening to a lecturer go on about Soft Dev design patterns

great story Nemici

Wolf

I have a few of these like the time I feel asleep

The the one I will recount is the time I went to see star wars ep 1 for about the 5th time. I was in the super market looking for something to eat as I didnt want to eat sweets as such. When I spyed some olives.

Bought a big tub and went to the show and bought an extra large Blueberry slushie. Well after devouring all of this I had to leave 20/30 mins before the end of the show and needless to say it was a photo finish.

It was all caped off when some guy walked in to the toilet took one sniff and went "MOOOOOOoooOOO!".

This would be good on the worst smell thread as well actually

TomTom

Sick puppy.

I was on my work experience and there is only one cubicle in the mens jacks on our floor and one urinal beside it. I had a slight dose of the runs and as murpheys law would allow, as soon as I got to the cubicle someone else came in and spent ages taking a piss and arseing about in the jacks. I could not let loose as the building is very open and i'm sure the person would have spotted me as soon as I left the toilet. To cut a long story shout, I could not hold it anymore and all i head from out side the cubical was "good ****, whats that" When I left the toilets there was people every where walking around so I do not know who the person was.

Repli

Taking a leak
Txting someone at same time
SPLASH!!
bye bye 8310

hells angels

ha ha i think anything like that has ever hsappened to me..yet touch wood....:D

hussey

Originally posted by Nemici
the worst thing that ever happened to me was :

I was at my fcuk buddys house preparing for a night of wink wink nudge nudge and unfortuntely got the runs, I kept having to leave her flat and go up the hall to the toilet.

really bad cramps. so there is only one roll of newly opened toilet paper so I pick it up and it slips out of my hand into the jacks full of the entire contents of my bowels.

Its far too large to flush so I have to fish it out. I was panicked about what to do with it so I drop it out the window.

I go back to the flat and get a glass of water, what do I see on the outside windowsill about 6 feet away.

the rogue ****ty toilet paper.

oh the shame.........

this story was on podge + rodge before
execpt the guy was at a dinner party .. and he threw it on the glass conservitory where everyone mingling

Nemici

this story was on podge + rodge before

hussey on my honour that really happened to me !

hussey

I just said that was on podge and rodge
didn't say you made it up/copied

rubadub

when the USI bar was open girls were always in the lads toilets. nobody minded much except for bitches who claimed they had every right to be there. one such bitch skipped the queue saying it was her right. a few minutes later you her her shouting has anybody toilet paper. 1 minute later a guy appears (who she skipped in front of) from a cublicle with a nice fresh turd on a load of toilet roll. he flung it over into her! screams of abuse were heard but she didnt come out. i waited ages but she wouldnt budge, must have been plastered. everybody in the place knew within minutes.

Saruman

Try spending 2 weeks in hospital and spending most of each day in the jacks with your arse erupting almost constantly with blood,mucus and everything else! Oh the Joys of Ulcerative Colitis

Dont Ban Me

Too much information!

BuffyBot

Originally posted by woosaysdan
whats the funniest thing to happen to you while in a toilet???
i would have to say one time i was going to the toilet in a pub when i heard a knock on the wall nad a voice saying "hey mate pass us in some toilet paper will ya?" well i never laughed so much in all my life!!! oh and keep to the topic please

You need to watch some real comedy.

Why is that so funny?

Bigalow

you need to lighten up dude this is toilet humour

Thorbar

Originally posted by Saruman
Try spending 2 weeks in hospital and spending most of each day in the jacks with your arse erupting almost constantly with blood,mucus and everything else! Oh the Joys of Ulcerative Colitis

Jesus thanks Saruman I'll go enjoy dinner now.

GoneShootin

jesus Saruman I thought I had problems from the piles !! god damn !

BuffyBot if you want something funny off to the HUMOUR board with you. I think the idea of the guy being so caught that he took a dump outside of the cublice is extremely funny.

the fact that he was asked politely for some paper =

[my story]

once upon a **** i was left stranded without any paper,and i wasnt gona go out to the towels cos there were ppl outside, so i crawled under the wall into the adjacent cubicle.

I knew the cupicle would be empty as it was out of service. luckily there was some paper there so i used that. you could imagine the faces of the people when i walked out of that dissuesed cubicly having gone into the one alongside it

Divine

I was in limerick once on a day out from ennis and i went in to the toilet in MacDonalds, the sort of main one, anyway i was doing the business when this fella in the next cubicle asked me if i could pass over some toilet paper. I dont know if he hear the young voice or what cause the next thing he goes"are you having a want" then his hand came under the barrier and rubbed my ankle, well i swear to god i never got such a fright i finished really quickly and tore out and left all the clothes i bought that day in there, rough or what :-)

Divine

sorry i spelt that wrong, i meant to say "are you having a ****"

Wolf

Also, walking out of the ladies toilets is allways funny.

Also the time I was found by a bouner in Santa Ponza (spelling) unconciuous in a cubical.

Gordon

I was in a public toilet and some fecker threw what looked like used toilet paper over the cubicle onto my head. I almost shrieked but on examination it wasn't used so I didn't give him the satisfaction of my shriek.

lol @ Nemici though!

Tusky

I once went into school toilets, opened the cubicle and right in front of me there is a "log" PERFECTLY placed onto a single sheet of toilet paper.....some1 went to alot of trouble !