still dealing

LegacyUser

when I was 11 my dad killed himself. I am 26 now and although its been a long time I still have great difficulty in dealing with it. I feel really angry a lot of the time when I think about it and really let down. I am in councelling but this seems to make things worse.

has any one else lost a parent and if so how do/did you deal with it, did it get easier and who helped you ??

Kell

How long have you been attending counselling? If it is only for a short while you will find that your state of mind will deteriorate a bit before it gets better.

K-

LegacyUser

about six months kell but it seems to be getting harder not easier.

Evil Phil

It can take years, stick with it. 6 months is not a long time when dealing with something of this magnitude.

I have lost my mother to cancer and went into counselling shortly after as I was loosing my mind. I'm still dealing with it 4 years later - I've been in a morbid mood all day because if it - but you have to keep going on and try and improve your life. Its hard, yes, and its going to get worse before it gets better. Keep going. Throw everything you've got at counselling, talk about your feelings, what it was like growing up without a Dad (I did that too, it sucks) even what you dream about when your asleep and you will get there. Counselling will not change what has happened but it will improve your situation.

Promise

Clintons Cat

I never knew my dad,

he left when he discovered my mum was pregnant.Its pretty hard to deal with sometimes.I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out if i had known him or if he had shown the slightest intrest in me.

A couple of years ago i thought about tracing him,seeing if he would be proud of the way i turned out.But when i thought about it some more i just got angry at him for being a coward for walking out.
I find it wierd that i was still seeking the approval of someone who wasnt even able to face his own responsibilities.

To be honest i dont really care anymore if he is alive or dead.He wasnt there when i needed him most and i sure as hell dont need him anymore.

I dont know if any of this helps turk,but i can empathise with your situation.What ever emotion your feeling,there is no right or wrong way to deal with it,dont feel guilty about what your feeling.

Like WWWMan says just deal.


CC

<<Note edited after a bit more thought >>

WhiteWashMan

just deal.

Silent Grape

hi there, im very sorry for what happened to you, u must have been through a really tough time, but well done on sticking with the councelling.

im going to counselling too, but for different reasons, and Kell was right, it gets worse before it gets better. ive been going since September and things in my head are definetely going a little off the rails right now, im more depressed than ever.

u could tell ur counsellor ur feelings of how u dont think its helping. the only way to move forward to to talk, talk,talk, to ur therapist about anything; ur dads death, ur life in general, what being in counselling is like etc etc.

im sure he/she would probably be more than conserned that ur finding the therapy unhelpful

best of luck x

Victor

Originally posted by turk182
I am in councelling but this seems to make things worse.

This is probably largely because you are having to drag up old memories. The first time I went to councelling I wasn't ready and it took me 6 months to adjust and go back the second time. And for a long time things seemed and probably were worse. But things are getting better.