Virginity

nopreviousowner

Hi I am I 19 year old girl and I am a virgin. Does anyone think there is anything wrong with this? Most of my peers are shocked when I tell them but I can't understand the big deal. It's not like I haven't had the opportunity...is it so wrong to have standards? Or should I just do it for the sake of doing it...Also my lack of experience is now becoming my stumbling block. Any advice?

Kell

Chill out. It's perfectly acceptable to be 19 and unsown.

Can you elaborate though on lack of experience being a stumbling block?

And no you shouldn't just do it for the sake of it. First times I believe are reasonably important to the fairer sex so there is no harm in wanting the most out of the experience rather than settling for whatever comes along.

K-

hussey

Keep it!!

No point losing it to someone you won't remember in 3months time

Saruman

Dont mind DeadBankClerk, he is being a muppet.

There is nothing wrong with it. Go through this forum and you will see even guys in their 20's who are virgins. And they are not all geeky looking either. Well so its claimed...

Kell

Just as a slight aside, once you've lost it you'll be left wondering what all the fuss was about. I know I was.

Hells_Fury

You should do what is right for you. The fact that you have not lost your virginity yet simply shows that you have not found the right person that you wish to be intimate with. I wouldn't worry about it , when your ready you will know. However if your keeping your virginity because you are under the misconception that you should be a virgin when you marry ... DON'T . When you are ready , when your with the right person , then you will know , don't hesitate to explore this new experience . However if you do it because you feel you HAVE to, sex could end up looking like an ugly chore your required to preform . When your ready you will know ..... and ALWAYS ALWAYS use proper protection !

Gordon

(DBC I find your post neither helpful or destructive. Would you either post reasons as to why this poster is "dysfunctional" or not post any more one word/phrase replies. Thanks.)

Beruthiel

Hi I am I 19 year old girl and I am a virgin. Does anyone think there is anything wrong with this?

not at all, I believe you will be mature enough to enjoy sex when you find someone worthy - I think the first time should be with someone you care about

Most of my peers are shocked when I tell them

of course they are, it makes them feel better about themselves

but I can't understand the big deal

that's cos it isn't

is it so wrong to have standards?

nothing wrong with standards, everyone should have some

Or should I just do it for the sake of doing it

what would be the point of that?

Also my lack of experience is now becoming my stumbling block

would that be because you think your age is a problem now? when the time is right, you'll know - chill out

Hells_Fury

Originally posted by Beruthiel
but I can't understand the big deal

that's cos it isn't

:eek: SEX IS FUNNNNNNN !! I'm not saying to do it "just because" understandably she is not ready. But to say that sex is no big deal .....FOR SHAME !!!! Sex is my drug of choice , I LOVE it , I'm TOTALLY addicted and I'm NOT looking for a cure !

Wolf

I believe that people who keep it special should be respected.

You arent weird at all. All I would advise is this dont make your first time too big a deal or you will be let down. Just make sure its with someone you really like and feel comfortable with and only do it because you want to and you will have a nice first exp.

Have fun

Wolf

Originally posted by Hells_Fury
:eek: SEX IS FUNNNNNNN !! I'm not saying to do it "just because" understandably she is not ready. But to say that sex is no big deal .....FOR SHAME !!!! Sex is my drug of choice , I LOVE it , I'm TOTALLY addicted and I'm NOT looking for a cure !

You really are my dream girl

Beruthiel

But to say that sex is no big deal .....FOR SHAME !!!!

what you never had, you never miss

of course it's great, once you start, but for nopreviousowner it's not a big deal yet
are you one of her friends?

The Corinthian

It’s not a big deal and as Kell pointed out a bit of an anticlimax the first time. Take your time, do so when you’re comfortable with it. Seriously, there’s no rush.

Also, listen to Beruthiel, she’s a delicious vamp who speaks the truth

And if this shocks your peers in the future, you should just point out that you’ve neither met some you wanted to be with, nor been as drunk as them. Or else just lie to them and say you have lost your cherry - it’s what a lot 19 year old guys will do

Beruthiel

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Also, listen to Beruthiel, she’s a delicious vamp who speaks the truth

You ol’ smooth talker you

I’m impressed with your advice, I was sure you’d offer to show her what she’s missing!

seamus

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Or else just lie to them and say you have lost your cherry - it’s what a lot 19 year old guys will do

Ahh but there's a distinct difference between girls and boys . When guys say "Oh yeah I shagged some yoke from Ballymuckaloo while on holidays", they'll get a pat on the back, and nothing more is said. Of course, if a girl proclaimed the same to her mates, there'd be screaming and jumping, and sitting down and wanting to know the whole story (Who, where, when, what is was like). Lying to women requires so much more effort, cos they always press for more info, unlike Men

Virginity is a funny thing. When you have it, you think everyone is interested and you're segregated as a freak, and everyone's secretly whispering behind your back. When you lose it, you realise no-one cares, and the only people who even know are your friends, who don't really care. No-one even considers whether you've had sex or not, cos it's not a big deal.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Beruthiel
I was sure you’d offer to show her what she’s missing!

Grief no! I’ve not had the patience to deflower a virgin in ten years.

Originally posted by seamus
Ahh but there's a distinct difference between girls and boys

1. It would at least stop her peers from bothering her, and
2. I wasn't entirely serious.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Grief no! I’ve not had the patience to deflower a virgin in ten years.

damn.. there go my plans for the next boards beer..

Kell

Originally posted by Mordeth
damn.. there go my plans for the next boards beer..

You were planning to deflower the already deflowered Corinthian? Mordeth, didn't think you were that way inclined!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

read it again kell..

Saruman

nopreviousowner are you a newbie? Or a long time boards member who started another user for this thread? Just curious

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
There are bad people out there who will see it as some sort of trophey in a twisted kind of way.

She's never going to relax now. Still, you speak the truth Merc, there be worse fiends out there than you or I...

Hells_Fury

Originally posted by The Corinthian
It’s not a big deal and as Kell pointed out a bit of an anticlimax the first time. Take your time, do so when you’re comfortable with it. Seriously, there’s no rush.

Or else just lie to them and say you have lost your cherry - it’s what a lot 19 year old guys will do

I STILL disagree , sex can be a wonderful , exciting , and stimulating experience. IF you do it with the right person , AT the right time for you . IF you do it just because everyone else does it , IF you do it with the wrong person , IF you do it while high or drunk , then I can see where it would be "no big deal" . Of course IF you do it the same way all the time .... would be boring too

As for the others ..... I wouldn't lie about it . I would simply look them straight in the eye and tell them the truth . Just because you haven't had sex is nothing to be ashamed of . What if they ask her to "tell all about it" you know guys are the only ones that want details. She could say she doesn't kiss and tell , but then they would suspect . Girls can be curious as cats , and then turn into total bitches about it ! If they ask why not, then I'd tell them straight out I hadn't found anyone that interested me in that way yet. Simple as that.

If you worrying about lack of experience then you should know that most guys are too . They might act all cocky and self assured but they are worried that they might disappoint you. And any man worth the effort will make sure he does all he can to please you , not just a wham bam thank you mam .

NEVER NEVER have sex "just because"!! Always have sex because you want to , enjoy it , don't worry about it. Your body will know what it wants and what it needs to do. Most people tend to "overthink" the whole thing , worrying about what their doing or what they should be doing. You'll find that sex is not a thinking activity , it's more of a feeling sport , if it feels good then it's not wrong. From what I notice guys like nothing better than for a girl to totally loose herself to the moment . So just listen to your body , it will tell you all you need to know. And right now it's telling you that your not ready , so listen to it.

Samara

there be worse fiends out there than you or I...

Hmmm, why do I find that thought so disturbing???


It's a good point, some guys just love to notch up deflowerings so to speak. Although I reckon if she's lasted this long, she must be fairly wise to the BS spouted by such guys!

logic1

Don't do it until you're really ready and have found someone you really like.

I know for some girls the first 4 or even 5 times have been uncomfortable, unsatisfying events because they were only doing it for the sex, neither party climaxes, it's painful, it's uncomfortable and altogether miserable.

Save it until you feel you're totally ready.

.logic.

Hells_Fury

Originally posted by Beruthiel
[are you one of her friends?

Nope I don't know her I would never recommend a friend to have sex when their not ready and I SURE would put pressure on anyone to have sex. I'd be one of her truest friends and take the other bitches down a notch or two .

DeadBankClerk

Originally posted by Gordon
(DBC I find your post neither helpful or destructive. Would you either post reasons as to why this poster is "dysfunctional" or not post any more one word/phrase replies. Thanks.)

The poster is dysfunctional in my opinion mister gordon because she is asking for sexual advise on an internet bulletin board, who has a large membership of people who like to troll and flame and generally mock other posters.

dys·func·tion also dis·func·tion
Abnormal or impaired functioning, especially of a bodily system or social group.

In my opinion, being a virgin is abnormal functioning of the genitals.

Gordon

Thanks DBC.

Hells_Fury

Originally posted by DeadBankClerk

In my opinion, being a virgin is abnormal functioning of the genitals.

In your hormonal clouded mind I'm sure you feel this is true . However it's guys like you that turn females into sex hating women in the first place. If you will let nature take it's course she will enter into the sexual side of life at her own pace. She will have much more enjoyment from it and not be one of those frigid bitches that guys always seem to be complaining about

The Corinthian

Originally posted by DeadBankClerk
The poster is dysfunctional in my opinion mister gordon because she is asking for sexual advise on an internet bulletin board, who has a large membership of people who like to troll and flame and generally mock other posters.

No. The only person who trolled or flamed on this thread up to this point is you.

Up to this point...

Now you're trying to backtrack and claim that you there was some reason and depth in your rather unimaginative troll, that it was planned all along and that your mindless mumblings had a purpose.

You trolled and were obvious about doing so at that. Now if you don't have the wit to troll properly, at least have the backbone to admit it, rather than this sorry self-justification.

yossarin

virginity: dont worry about it. you'll get to it when your ready.
don't put that part of your life on a shelf though. It is fun

Wolf

DBC really does have a very unique skill doesnt he

Anyway, dont build it up too much and also your first time doesnt have to be the love of your life just someone you feel you can do this with and feel ok about it.

Oh and not someone like Merc_Tilt hes hes got weird tastes.

Divine

i was 20 and im not ashamed, it was completly my own choice rather than doing it with an endless supply of girls which i could have since i was about 12 lol.

Victor

Originally posted by nopreviousowner
Hi I am I 19 year old girl and I am a virgin. Does anyone think there is anything wrong with this? Most of my peers are shocked when I tell them but I can't understand the big deal. It's not like I haven't had the opportunity...is it so wrong to have standards? Or should I just do it for the sake of doing it...Also my lack of experience is now becoming my stumbling block. Any advice?

I don't see being a virgin at 19 as being a problem. OK, so maybe some of your friends say they aren't (but some of them are lying) and you might feel there are things you don't know or have experienced, but everyone goes through this at some stage and most adjust.

If you ever feel awkward or uncomfortable in a sexual situation just say something like "I don't have much experience" and it should slow thigns down to a suitable pace.

That said, there is no harm in experimenting without going the whole way.

Saruman

Why are you still a virgin by the way? Is it because you have not found the right person? Is it religious reasons? Or is it that you have trouble meeting people in the first place?

Chucky

Im a 20 year old male and im still a virgin. It doesnt bother me. I never saw the point in going out of my way trying to lose it. If it happens...well, it happens! Ive had 2 girlfriends in my life for a total of 12 months going out with them. I've had opportunities but I played it down on the occasions I could have done it because it just didn't feel right.

There's nothing wrong with me at all physically. Some girls come up to me on the street and call me cute and stuff. I take no notice of it. Im sure it'll happen sumday, but until then im not gonna go busting my balls trying to get a one night stand. Im looking for a girlfriend and then whatever comes after that ill take it.

Saruman

There is a recent thread about an 18 year old about to loose his virginity.. he says "yes we do exist" but i would think there are far more virgins out there over 18 than let on! Probably too scared in case they get a slaggin off their mates.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

meh, I'm 20 and a virgin. pretty much the same as chucky, cept for the girlfriend bit , and the nothing wrong with me physically bit.

if it happens it happens, but it isn't something I'm going to spend any time worrying about, I really don't see it as being that important.

*shrug* I don't see it as being that big a deal, and it's nothing to be afraid of.. it's just sex.

Chucky

And why wud they get a slagging from their mates? Are we that narrow minded a society

Kell

Yep, I do wish the original poster would come back online and tell us why the whole virgin thing has become a stumbling block for her. As I said in my first post, why is it a stumbling block?

NPO, do please come back online and enlighten us.


K-

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

lol, I get plenty of slagging off my mates, but it's all good natured.. in the same way I'd slag one of the lads for going bald, I get it for being the group token virgin

it's no big deal, and it's nothing serious. although when they go out of their way to "get me a ride" as it is put, it can get incredibly irritating.

Kell

Originally posted by Chucky
Are we that narrow minded a society

Wouldn't say narrow minded, but most folk will use any excuse to throw a slag at someone. Anyway, I think we are all pretty much agreed that there is nothing really for her to worry about. Apart from DBC of course.

K-

Kwizatz Anorak

Hi I am I 19 year old girl and I am a virgin. Does anyone think there is anything wrong with this? Most of my peers are shocked when I tell them but I can't understand the big deal. It's not like I haven't had the opportunity...is it so wrong to have standards? Or should I just do it for the sake of doing it...Also my lack of experience is now becoming my stumbling block. Any advice?

I notice that no-one has mentioned anything about their age at the time of losing their own virginities and I think it could be quite important. You all rememmber what it was like to be 19 and curious / desperate.
I also had standards and thought that the first time should be something specail and remained with that thought until I was 21. I had all these naieve ideas about monogomy which I ended up thinking about quite a lot and spending energy that could have been better used else where. I still believe in monogomy but now it's just one at a time. When I was 21 the hormones won and I ended up getting really drunk and was seduced by someone I didn't even like.
It didn't live up to expectations and wasn't a big deal. It did open the doors for me to start enjoying myself because I had let that standard of mine go as I have done with so many others.
The first time doing something is always the hardest.
A lot of good points were made. Don't force yourself do have sex just for the sake of it but don't force yourself not to either. If it feels right, go with it. You're bound to be nervous the first time but it gets a lot easier after that.
I hope it helps. There's no right or wrong thing to do. It all depends on how it affects you. If you're comfortable with yourself, it doesn't matter what other people say or think. You mentioned that this is becoming your stumbling block, does that mean that there is someone trying to take a relationship to the next level and you're not sure if you want to? Look at E4 late at night, sex tips for girls.....

Saruman

Interesting avatar Kwizatz.. It either looks like a pile of shíte or something that relates to this topic. (though obviously its a worm from Dune)

I cant obviously reply to the age i was. Im 23 now however. :cool:

Doodee

its really up to the person, some ppl prefer to get it over and done with, some crumble under peer pressure and then some, just like to wait, like was said, if it feels good then do it, but there is no point holding on till after u get married cause tbh,ur more than likely not going to find another virgin, and u may be disappointed by then.

but as Mordie said, Its just sex, no thte end of the world.

Kwizatz Anorak

I know, I remembered about the picture after I wrote the post (just a worm of the Desert on Dune), no offence intended by the phalic nature of the avatar....

Caffine

im 19 and a virgin too (male tho), most ppl do think its odd, very odd.

i had the chance many times (the gf i was with at the time did it just for the sake of it and has regretted it since, i wasnt makeing the same mistake)

i know a few other virgins my age and older, 1 has never had a gf (hes 20 now i think), 1 has a bf but shes just not ready

most ppl will think u, me and anyone like us are freaks ( then again the intelligent ones wont care), but im too laid back to really care, will happen when it happens

all i can say is from experiances of m8s and ppl i know rushing into it and doing it just for the sake of it will problly leave u regretting it, im not rushing into it but just seeing what happens, will happen when i meet someone i feel is right

its upto u what u do tho

ZoSoPage

Caffine is one wise dude, good call. I second the motion, people grow up too fast these days and I think someone who waits cos they feel like they are not totally ready (me included) are goin in the right direction. Too much crap happens to people who rush in, in my experience anyway.

DeadBankClerk

Originally posted by The Corinthian
No.

You have replied to me, on a completely off topic matter. The only reason that you have replied to me is that I called someone who clearly is normal 'dysfunctional'*. You posted because I wanted you to post.
Troller, trollee.




* I myself was 18/19 when I lost my virginity.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

* I myself was 18/19 when I lost my virginity[/;quote]

you're not sure?...

DeadBankClerk

I have just thought about it, it was the autumn(?) of 2000, I was 18. I hade been going out with the person (also a virgin) for about 6 months when I lost it. Prior to that we had been engaged in mutual masturbation.