The things children say

cujimmy

The following questions and answers were collated from lschool exam papers (God help us)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?(e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head

The Reaper

ok hells angel is crying and all red faced and laughing his head off and embarresing me on front off women!!!!!!!!

hells angels

very very good you almost had me in tears there....seriously..:D

Okie

Aye, there's some good ones there.

Reminds me of a conversation (good a word as any I suppose) that I over-heard between my six year old brother and his seven year old American cousin as there were heading outside to play....

Went a bit like this:-

Younger brother:- Come on, let's go outside. You'd better change your shoes, you look like a tourist. Remember now, he's only six!

Cousin:- What's a tourist?

Younger brother:- Well, they are kind of like those people that flew those planes into your buildings!

So I had to sit down and explain (to a six year old and a seven year old!) the difference between a TOURIST AND A TERRORIST

Ahh, innocence! Isn't it great?

hells angels

that would hav bin funny...

and fúck off punk i was NEARLY in tear's you frog.....:(

SoundWave

brilliant

Pugsley

rofl, both brilliant