how many....

SoundWave · 07-03-2003 6:01pm #1

Q. How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. None. That’s a hardware problem.

A. One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.

A. Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q. How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. That's a software problem.

A. None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q. How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q. How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?

A. MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

Q. How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A. We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong . . . have you tried the light switch?

Q. How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a tap.

Q. How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q. How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q. How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as the new industry standard.

Q. How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

Q. How many IBM Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:...... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

A. Just one, provided there's an engineer around to explain how to do it.