Peter Kay wisdom

Gordon

Heh, just got this in the mail from my sister. She rarely gets in contact with me and she forwards this funny along with a nice wee letter. This is just her humour!

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when
your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to
have
a
fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy
ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

If you can't be good, stay in bed! ;-)

ayatollah

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

My uncle still has mine!!!

SoundWave

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

so true - alsation (mid feb '93 a tuesday i think) bit me mate john on the leg

Sposs

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

I find some gentle cursing while bouncing up and down on one foot ease's the pain

pyramid man

they are all true. all of them. that is amazing. especially the one about racing against the flush.

Victor

Originally posted by Gordon
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

Lego is an acceptable alternative.

Thanx 4 The Fish

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gordon
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

---

Lego is an acceptable alternative.

Or Zoids, anyone remember those, spent two weeks building that big monkey fella, went into the room in thedark, stepped on him and got a bit of the fbast stuck in me foot.

Washout

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.


The actually do weirdly enough!!!

Tyrrial

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

i think it smells like a old sock that you've found in the garden after leaving it there a few days earlyer.

AdMMM

Actually I just raced against the flush just a minute a go!

And won!

oeNeo

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

That happened to me a few times

-RaY-

What i want to know is how you managed to stab urself in the leg on a upturned plug

Cheez

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

yea i remember me granny was a waif and eat tons
twas gobsmackin as a kid

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

my uncle used to do that and used to lift me up by the skull by sqeezing his hands on both sides of me head,twas quite sore but strangely cool at the same time

Anyone else have this happen or is my uncle a nutter?

vac

That happened to me a few times

Haha!

Me too