Ways to say you need to go to the bathroom for every occasion

phaxx

Some of these aren't great, but the good ones make up for it

Inconspicuous: "I have to go shake the hand of a good friend, be right back"
Rude: "I gotta ****, get outta my way!"
Bashful: "Excuse me but, where is the bathroom?"
Appreciative: "I love taking a good dump, be right back"
Resourceful: "I wonder if I can improvise a toilet with that antique vase, give me a sec?"
Vindictive: "That toilet will see the true fury of my feces"
Observational: "I just realized I have to use the toilet, be right back."
Spontaneous: "****!!"
Godly: "Holy ****!"
Casual: "To the bathroom? Anyone?"
Elegant: "The men's room please"
Juvenile: "Nobody understands why I have to **** so often"
Defiant: "Constipated huh?"
Intellectual: "My body needs to spend some of its time cleansing itself of the byproduct of digestion"
Poetic: "Through the singularity of my bum I will flush the debris of my tormented colon"

Found while getting lost in the depths of everything2

ironbrew

is this where im meant to write a comment thanking you on giving us your joke or congradualting you on yous joke?

....ill pass on the above

neoB

Inconspicuous: "I have to go shake the hand of a good friend, be right back

lol oo thats me favourite out of all of them
have to be using some of those

Pimp Ninja

The following was somewhere on boards before but nothing beats

I'm off to Release a chocolate hostage