You know your a Dub skanger if........

The Gopher

I know theres been these lists before but there seems to be so many of them:) .

1.Your grandma is less than 40 years old.

2. You refer to the paternal parent of your child as "me baby's owl lad," not "my husband," "my boyfriend," or anything like that. The maternal parent is "me kids owl lass."

3. You have said the words, "Why you coming knocking at my door like your the feckin pigs doin a raid!"

4. You hear sirens and jump up to look out the nearest window/door/hole in the wall to see what's going on.

5. You drink your spirits mixed with foul tasting Red Bull in the belief that it somehow makes you look hard,particularly with the can of Red Bull in your hand.Recommended for all wannabe future skangers 12 and under.

6. You find/steal/borrow enough change every day to go buy a six pack of Dutch Gold, then nurse it for the rest of the day cause your broke alcoholic arse can't afford to buy another one till tomorrow.

7. You have more than three children and they're all a year or less apart.

8. For some inexplicable reason, you insert an extra "o" in the end of somebodys name.

9. You say things like, "Oh, there's Viking blood in our family."

10. You talk about who has "good hoylights" and a"fukhin mad haircut".

11. The names of all your children begin with "La" and end with "o".

12. When you go out with your woman, she pays, cause your lazy arse has no job.

13. As opposed to buying a can opener, you just hack open canned goods with a treasured swiss army knife.

14. Instead of putting food away, you put a plate on top of the pan and stick it in the (turned off) oven. (Food poisoning, anyone?)

15. You have many small children but possess no car seats for them. You just hold them on your lap, and shove them down onto the floor when you see a police car(alternatively you speed around Dooblin on your moped with the wee feckers on the handrail.)

16. You indiscriminately refer to everything as "shotye"(e.g to express gratitude"thats some deadly shoyte"or anger"its a load of bleedin shoyte")

17. You often shout at children"Gerrouh and play on the roadh-yer nan wants a smoke in privacy for feck sake!"

18. Your kids are so old they've started smoking, yet they still suck their thumbs/drink from a bottle/are not fully potty-trained.

19. You have at least one family member named after a pop star,rap artist or 60s legend.

20. During your childhood (and beyond), you got your hole beat by a boot, extension cord, race track, wooden spoon, or something else not usually used for that purpose.

21. You have at least one crazy relative. (aunt, uncle, mentally unbalanced older brother)

22. When your cousin gets his ass beat, you and all your other cousins go take care of the person who did it...But you threaten that same cousin with a switchblade when he tries to grab the remote or says your favourite band/team are"shoyte".

23. You put curry sauce on everything.

24. You've ever made a jam,bananna or cheese "sambo"

25. The back windows of your car is smashed out because the culchie bog farmer you nicked it off fired his shotgun as you escaped.

26. There is duct tape on your car and it serves a vital function.

27. Your bills are in your ma's name because your credit is too bad.

28. You've ever gone somewhere like the Credit Union because you don't have a bank account and have a belief that they wont care if you dont pay them back

29. A family member of yours is a dealer or is in"dah Joy".

30. You view Scooters "Let Me Be Your Valentine" as the greatest love song of all time.

31-You have the nerve to complain about bleedin romanians and nigerians who all have a dozen kids,demand houses off the corpo,are intent on being on the social for all their lives etc.
And despite all this Phil Lynott played"fookhin deadly bud".