The good, The Bad and The ugly!

TomTom

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.

Bad: It's triplets.

Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.



2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you.

Bad: She wants a divorce.

Ugly: She's a lawyer.



3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.

Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.

Ugly: So are you.



4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.

Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.

Ugly: You're in them.



5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.

Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.

Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.



6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.

Bad: He's a cross-dresser.

Ugly: He looks better than you.



7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your

daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Ugly: With corrections.



8. Good: The postman's early.

Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.

Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.



9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.

Bad: It's another man.

Ugly: He's your best friend.



10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.

Bad: As a hooker.

Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.

Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.

TomTom

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is correct," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks. "Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place."

Dazzer

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is correct," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks. "Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place."

ROFL

Carbiens

hehehe...herpes.. he he

Pugsley

10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.

Bad: As a hooker.

Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.

Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.



ROFL!!!

Mad_Patrick

The 1st one is fu*kin great, standing ovation, 2 very enthusiastic thumbs up, great family fun, so good I sh!t myself, I could go on. The 2nd one is good too, pity I heard it before